Just say NO to Cropping!!!

Kelly cropped himself pretty much out (how do u spell smartass chickenpoop, K-e-l-l-y ) but here is Kelly the Fire Guy's new swimsuit...complete with a mild look at his body hair and his fingernails.

i had a dream...

and bruce had salt and pepper colored hair and was asleep in my bed with a busted arm...which is weird cuz in all actuality he is not in my bed and his arm is not broken...although he did get metal shards in his eye so hes all gibbled in that regard.

i went and got my new keys this morning...im thinking that while this bldg will not be full of crackheads etc im slightly worried that living underneath the landlady will make 4 some interesting anal times...and not the kind that require lube either.
ill just keep being my fake nice self.

went and got my sam roberts tickets today too...

Ok im back now...i am officially too fat and old to move.
2 jeep loads of boxes nearly killed me.
and wtf am i doing carting every fucking book i ever read around with me?! gawd they suck to move!
but ohhhh man i am really excited to get outta this hole now!

do not take candy from strangers

thanks Bruce hahhhahaa

damaged, inc.

so i was just looking through the powell river newspaper and saw some little chump fr highschool just married someone...at 35...
this of course got me thinking (despite the fact i am sure the marriage is doomed b/c really, arent they all? lol)...i truly can not imagine a scenario that would convince me to get married and then put my picture in the paper and advertise my stupidity hahahahaha (no offense to all u married folk)...I just mean FOR ME it is such an alien concept...

haloscan was messing with me earlier...there was no place 4 me to comment...so i guess i could be a complete ass and no one could comment and tell me i was full of shit...muhahahahaha if only i had something so dramatic to say

this hot weather is pissing me off.

i have a headache.

the sprog has 4 days off school...yay 4 her...

i need a chq cook really bad fr the bank, so bad i drempt I was buying a drink at a cafe and they gave me 4 complimentary chq books HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA ooooh the world i live in in my mind is so perfect isnt it?

btw, i think its fucking GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY canada is staying in afghanistan longer.
stephen harper can suck my pretend dick for that one.
ok i need to eat cheerios now.
it is my calling in life.

im a liar just like you and that's ok...

goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change....

my new mantra as I seem to be the new branch *fixing the mistakes of the inept* manager...
I just keep grinning and thinking about getting my own room...
ill probably be so happy ill quit my job so i can just sit in my room all day, grinning.

Arika stopped in tonight....so nice to see her back from her european adventure...she looks fab and all in love...wearing her amazing polish baltic amber jewelery she got in poland and radiating goodness!

im all off kilter...I keep getting the days of the week wrong.
Today I thought it was Tuesday...then just now I was thinking today was Thursday and tomorrow was Friday and I got all excited only to realize I was huffing gasoline and had no fucking idea it was wednesday...duh

i have to go to bed now b/c even though im closing tomorrow night I have to go in at 7am to sort out some outages and zed the store b4 we open...ugh

Perish, I Shall...

im trying 2 put make up on...its so warm in here its sliding off my damn face.

i fucking hate summer

i love going to work now...i am the air conditioning queen...

whine over...

Itchy Digits

I cant stop scratching my hands/fingers...
Its like I have some itching disorder but only on one finger and 1 knuckle.

Knuckle is a weird word if u pronounce it with the K not silent.

Christonacracker ~ it was hot out today....muggy and 27 degrees...gaylord weather. Fuck I hate summer
I wanna work all summer cuz we have air cond. there at least and i can send ppl to buy me slurpees.

Question 4 u: is this a Powell River phenomenon or what?
Slurpees with soft ice cream in them...
my gawd its like a float only 984375983475x better...they put about a third of the cup full of soft ice cream and then slushy in the rest and u mix it up and ooooo man...
anyone else live in a place where they sell those?

If u had to lose a nipple or an ear what would u pick?

Happy Birthing Pod Day

im really ticked that i just nattered on forever and blogger ate the fucking post.
jerk off

my sprog made me brekky this morning...fruit salad and hashbowns/eggs mixed up with cheese on top....mmmmm good grrl...then she was a super good chick and was gone most of the day so I got lots of packing/crap done.

i did my good deed of the year and called my mother today...was all going along quite well until she started talking about my brother and how he would be 29 this month...ummm yeah mom ~ that would be 30 actually...he was born in 1976.
Dont get me started...

survivor was good...loved the super burn aras got from shane re: his mooching off his dad HAHAHAH HAHAHAHA gawd that stung i bet.
i turfed out butt ugly desk chair out into the garbage today so im sitting on a WOOD chair...
it will def. make me even more uninclined to be on the computer much...

erica is back from her european adventures...poor grrl, has to return to work tomorrow...ugh!
but hey! at least she met a nice boy in the UK and got laid! THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT RIGHT? men with accents? ha!

im still howling over the photoshop funny business hahahaha omfg my teeth look fucking huge to me...and gawd damn its scary hahaha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

LAURA!! >>>>>>>>>

hahaha PHOTOSHOP!!!!! hahahahahaha

Thanks cousin kelly and her photoshopping skills...sadly this has shown me it takes more then a nice bod to be a porn star lol

chasing amy/chasing ghosts

I just watched chasing amy...i really like kevin smith movies...not sure why...maybe b/c i think jason lee is fanfuckingtastic and i love all the swearing and crude humor.

witty men who swear with charm and wonder make me weak in the knees...easy or what?

im DL'ing music bc im a bad person...a thief even...an immoral cad...but i got a hankering for some old TONIC songs....and some Joe Satriani...and old queensryche hahaha I cant help myself!

i came across my box of concert ticket stubs...my 1st show in 1985 was only 18.50...motley crue, theatre of pain hahahaha hahaha hahaha i progressively cooler of course...how i ended up so uncool is beyond me.

the mission by queensryche is giving me a mega boner right now (anyone who has Operation Mindcrime understands the attraction...if they were into concept albums and studied it hahaha how do u spell DORK...j-e-n) ~
i love knowing every word and groove to these old songs...back in the days when i had the time to sit and pour myself over the lyrics of songs, and learn them like i wrote them myself...
i used to dissect record sleeves and inserts...some ppl are into the bible i study record jackets & sleeves.
i used to have a binder, one of those giant mother ones and it was FULL of loose leaf paper and each page had song lyrics on it that i hand wrote, so i was able to really SUCK UP THE ESSENCE of the song by writing out the words...i was a little obsessive as a kid...does it show?
i didnt do anything half way... probably why life has always felt so exhausting, when u spend your life obsessing and struggling its a lot of fucking work.
Plotting ppls murders...plotting my own escape...plotting my unknowing happiness...wearisome.

but who cares...im getting a bedroom soon...woot! woot!
its 135 am right now...my night owl tendencies are creeping back...muhahahahahhahahahaa youll all be sorry...these late night rants and blotherings will leave you spent and unsatisfied....

my brother would have turned 30 this month...30! fuck...im not sure why this is tweeking me so much...i guess b/c i wonder what kind of person he would have grown into...gawd knows at 24 i was completely different in the head comparative to 30...thankfully.

ok well its 2 am...time 4 me to blast off into weirdo dream land...i hope i dream about making out with jason lee.

I am the queen of packing tape

I love packing tape
I am obsessive compulsive with packing tape
I over tape boxes
I love the sound the tape makes ripping from the roll

I will move onto filling holes as soon as I bum spackle filler stuff from Tracey.
I could use toothpaste I guess...

Anyway...
on to other uninteresting crap.
Anyone have an experience with CLICK HERE --> ELECTRIC BBQs?
Im scared of propane...I admit it.
Im BBQ retarded but gawd damn I want one...and electricity scares me far less than propane.
So gimme all your BBQ advice plz...im all ears!

Donna at work was telling me about giving brazilian waxes to ppl...
Now I know ive blathered on about this b4 but...waxing ones ass seems truly hideous...only thing worse than GIVING a wax to someones ass is being the one having all the ass hair ripped off u violently.
Good thing I dont wanna be a lardy porn star.

Ayla's Word(s) of the Day:

Gayness of the Anus

Oooo I laughed and laughed hahahahhahaha
I dont think she knew what she was even saying but jesus it made me howl...

Speaking of gayness...I miss Shawn...hes working f/t now making thick cash and hes never around to share his gayness with me...
also MIA is Bruce...once im moved I must coerce him into coming over for a visit...im having hardcore Bruce withdrawls...

Ayla's toying with the idea of visiting aunty cathy for a week or 2 this summer...b4 hitting powell river....learning to drive the quad and play with the dogs and explore the area is quite appealing to her...but esp the one and one with cathy...kelly has airmiles so maybe itll all work out...ill have to make sure cathy knows what shes in for...lol actually ayla will be a dream with cathy ~ shes always a lovely grrl one on one...

I bought the ugliest shower curtain i could find today to replace my good frog one I took down...fuck it is so UGH I nearly faint when I walk into the bathroom...
mind u, it looks like the rest of the place....like we are squatters. lol

humping rodents

laura sent me pictures today of her wee babies...I can not imagine so many piggies and bunnies underfoot....no kids 4 laura...shes all about the rodents....laura bought me a rabbit once...i was horrified that my rabbit Skid raped the shit out of the cute wee baby one she bought me....lol
I also quite like her
new pals
<<<<<<<<<<
squirrells are so fucking cute...esp when the appear to be humping...lol

well i survived another day...i gotta say im about DONE with having new staff...staff who i spend damn near all day HELPING and fixing their mistakes....yes i am complaining and whining in case u didnt notice.
I am entitled...im not a chronic whiner so...
Plus, aylas making me suffer as she watches american idol which is the gaylordest show of all time.

20 days til i move. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
im so excited.

so yeah...

i saw V for Vendetta again tonight with Dave...still a good movie the 2nd time around. I did want to stab the 2 morons behind me though as they apparently were never taught to whisper by their moms. Tards

Manager Meeting tomorrow...I better bring some uppers.

I went to the mall today and was very bad...I bought myself the new sam roberts cd, the new pearl jam cd and the new tool cd...the tool cd has the COOOOOOOOOOOOLEST liner goodies EVER!! 3D lens attached to the case and u flip through the liner art/notes etc with the lens and the art work is FABULOUS in 3D!!!!!!
Then I got Ayla some new pants. I refuse to confess the price of them.

Im getting myself a new new computer desk...dont forget that im rich.

The NEW Pad

Introducing our new crash pad!

CLEAN carpet!

Ugly damn kitchen but oh well...its functional...I cant seem to escape that gross fake wood cupboard thing...it must be a life lesson hahaha

Im so happy 2 have a livingroom that isnt also my bedroom!

The View

The MOCHA bedroom...i hope Ayla will let me have it...but id be happy with the other too, it has a better closet.

Another ugh bathroom cabinet but MUCH bigger and nicer then the old shithouse!

Furry Weeds

Mural Art

My feet

an approaching alien....

don't ask me what that was all about...I also saw a man riding his bike with a parrot on his shoulder hahahahha

im sure its nothing fancy to most of u but comparitive to what we have been residing in it is a frikkin SCORE...the bldg is well maintained, clean and quiet, no crackheads...great laundry room...elevator (weeeeee)...Ayla will like it once we are in!

well holy crapper...

check this shit out folks...I went from having ZIP for options yesterday to have all sorts of options today!
we got the apt we loved....
ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD we have 1 more appt to see a suite nearby tomorrow...
if we LOVE it and theyll offer it to us on the spot COOL....if not we HAVE the other apt!!!!!!
WOOT WOOT
so we will ROCK either way (by the way Kellee...those pictures were not real picture of places we went to see hahahaha I just googled em!)
So...at 10 am tomorrow we will go check out the last place and at 1 pm I go pay for the other apt is thats the one we PICK.
love it when shit comes together!
Id be happy in either or.
Ayla of course being the bi polar little freak she is...went fr HATING this present house to loving the cool one fr yesterday to not wanting to move to hating the other apt and wanting the basement suite she hasnt seen yet...you get the picture. Duh
Crazy kid.

Im ready 4 the weekend

im soooo ready 4 the weekend....
i think ill call block works # too. he he he
so its official...im manager...mandy got bumped up to my assistant...woot! woot! Bring on the pay raise!!!

if i dont get that apt i think i will perish...implode even.

im too tired and braindead to converse...jesus.
i better smoke crack b4 work to perk myself up

Apartment Hunting Day

Apt 1: The Hobbit Hovel

Nice area...a little too far off the bus route though...cute house but the basement suite is a wee little hobbit hut...very low ceilings, no bath tub...and pretty small...i did get a boner over having laundry at my disposal though!


Apt 2: Art Student Rainbow Rooms

Good spot but bldg was kinda crumby, the suite itself was ok but the last tenants painted the living room pumpkin orange and the one bedroom is neony lime green hahahaha

Apt 3: Our Dream Abode

We want this one baddddddddddddd real bad...i offered bribes...did some begging...but im sure bc we both LOVE it so much we wont get it and ill have to keep looking haha
If we get it though omfg...I will piss myself...its a nice quiet non retard crackhead bldg...big rooms, nice carpet, etc...WE LOVE IT...WE WANT IT! Please oh goddess of apartment hunting look down upon us with kindness and empathy and grant us this lovely living space.

We will burn each other with cigarettes if we dont get it.

Ok im tired now. Must sleep...

life is like a canker sore....

oooo 3 appts tomorrow....
how exciting!

im too sleepy to talk.

arent u all so lucky.

plz pass the dull razor blade...

ok not really...im dramatic remember...and always inappropriate.

it is hump day - for some....for me it is go to work and fix everyones fuck ups day...haha hahah haha haha hahahah hahaha hahahah hahahah yay! { jumps up and down til boobs knock her in the head and she is out cold }

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JORDYN!!!

I havent talked to my sister in a little bit....must call her this weekend...and get the gossip, make sure shes ok.
Maureen's on the prowl again...yeeehaaaaa look out men of the east coast! meoooowwwwwww

I have just made 2 appts to view some apts for tomorrow...I need to make a checklist...im so anal...things like
1 - turn on shower and check pressure
2 - 2 sinks in kitchen?
3 - does fridge have a death rattle?
4 - macktack in cupboards...? look 4 weevils etc

hahaha

jesus h christ

ok i realize its only May 2nd but im already internally freaking about about finding an apt hahahahahhaha at least i know im irrational!
that apt i got the boner over, well the woman never even called me back...after we BONDED over the phone and everything...the harlot....she rented it out....
hmmmmf.
i have an appt to see a place thursday after work...its in a great spot...rent sounds ok...it has a balcony...if i like it ill take it cuz im a fucking freak...id make a very poor homeless person...im too uptight.

anyhow...i was a complete maniac today...i was mean to ppl. I know that that is HARD to believe, that *I* could be *MEAN* to another human but its true *chuckles*...
i need to re-find my chi...

the sprogs been driving me crazy lately with her pestery behaviour too...i swear to gawd she asked me 7583759837458x per hour who my best friend is...if shes is my best friend...who do i think her best friend is...over and over and over and over...and she keeps calling me DUMMY.
Call me crackhead...or whatever...but DUMMY pisses me off. lol
When she calls me "KID" I wanna beat her head in too...we can't even argue proper anymore b/c with all the stuff off the walls the apt echoes like a mofo and then we laugh...

I saw a flipper person today...one arm was a flipper...I wanted to sit down with her over tea and ask if her mom took thalidomide (sp?) while preggy...or if it was something else...I think i have a special fondness the flipper people...theyre unique...

Ok its time I shed my bra and pants and call it a day......