Brobdingnagian Arse

Word of the Day:

Brobdingnagian \brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn\, adjective:Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.

its 7 am....i have 3 hrs til tool tix go on sale and im up and already shitting my pants hahahahhaa

im feeling slightly weird about going to see mr englishman tonight...ill be really pissed off if he turns into a horny fucking octopus right off the bat...
and im not even kidding....ill be really disappointed.
on a different day i wouldnt be...but right now i would be.

Gee, do u think im moody much?

Supposed to be hot out today....grrrrrr

Useless question of the day 4 u....if u are a victim like me and yer kid forces u to watch canadas next top fuckwad...errr i mean model....if that brandi chick a friend of jennifer goods? she seems very familiar to me and i cant imagine where else i would be exposed to someone so arrogant and stupid....and....wtf...not that i mind but she seems to have vanished off the face of the earth...
no trace of her even on mblog...not even an honorable mention...wonder whats up?
There is my nosiness 4 the day...

I just realized im really fucking broke. Disheartening. I thought I was rich 4 a while there....gotta love 3 paychq months...i wish i got paid 3x every month *pout*...id be doing much better.

we went and saw THE BREAK UP last night....Even Vince V didnt make that a keeper....Jennifer Aniston is so fucking boring really...thats why Brad left her I bet....cuz she was boring and not all that talented...(ahhaha)
Ayla was bored outta her mind...falling asleep in her seat, begging for a quick death...

groupie ho

I look like alice cooper (of the 70s) this morning....the runny eyeliner....the freaky corpse like appearance.
I guess I do need some sun...and some decent non runny fucking eyeliner.

Ayla left today cursing her wardrobe, saying all her clothes are butt ugly and she has nothing to wear. I am sure that will not be the last time she utters those words b4 i kick her out in 6 yrs hahaha

I drempt the ultimate wanna be groupie dream last night...motley crue were playing at my grandparents old trailer in the livingroom (i have no idea why my brain operates this way)....
a zillion ppl were there...i got to hump and make out with tommy lee and nikki sixx (in the dream they were nice though)...and we were drinking bourbon (ive never had bourbon and im curious to try it now to see if it tastes like it did in my dream, im sure its disgusting and i will hurl in real life) and then someone smashed the toilet so it was in pieces...and the bathtub was broken and I kept thinking my grandad was gunna kick my ass....so then i started gluing the toilet back together....
after the concert the band was off to play in victoria with the scorpions (i was looking through my old concert stubs yesterday so i think thats where that came from haha) and wanted me to come with them (hahaha) but i couldnt so they begged me to plz call them and meet up with them after....it was quite amusing.

bourbon...ugh

anyhoo....im off to work....and im not horrified bc i get the weekend off when im done ....*insert freakish psycho laughter here*

thank gawd thats over

well the landlady didnt skin me alive although the looks and the tsk-tsk's were enough to make me wanna light myself on fire...
she was unhappy with my shelves and my use of screws hahahahahhahah hahahahah hahhahahaha I just played dumb and acted like I didnt think it was a big deal.
I will start studying patch techniques now...

I think I will go outdoors now...theres a nice wind.

LET IT BE KNOWN....

I AM LOOKING FOR A GNOME!!!!

for my balcony...to guard the perifieral...

if u are garage saling and see something BUY IT and MAIL it, ill pay ya back!
(unless its 348975637563.00 for shipping etc)


I have no idea why I want them/one but I do.

sunsets, breeze and rent money

3 good things....
I really needed this day off...in a bad way....
Im making a roast...
im cleaning...and im damn driven to get my room looking proper...there is already shit all over the damn place...im a terrible bedroom cleaner

I think ill return things to sears today as well and get a few groceries so Ayla can eat something more than bread. lol
I was all excited watching a stupid medical show last night thinking I discovered I have cushings disorder which is why im actually fat, not due to food/exercise or what have you....but i think its a bit of a stretch.
Either way im getting my cortisol checked out next time i go to the Dr.

Im getting very stressed out about TOOL tickets...I havent managed to win any yet this week off the radio and gawd dammit ordering online freaks me green so I already pre registered my card so I dont have to lose my mind trying to type the #s in at the last moment thinking ill lose the tickets etc hahahaha Doof! I love it that u can use yer Sears Card for Ticketmaster HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Anyone know who is touring with Tool by chance?

OMFG the price is right is on, I gotta go!

a chatty bloke

ok he isnt scottish ~ hes british...wtf do i know...u would think someone like me who gets such a hard on over men with accents would be better at distinguishing between them...
anyhow...he's a sassy one, i think he will be fun....could make for a uber fun summer.
when i asked him if hed ever been arrested for offenses against goats he had a witty comeback so...thats a good sign.

ayla's new cell phone arrived today...youd think she just won the lotto, it is snazzy...im a bit jealous. haha
im glad she paid for it all on her own...all 113.00 of it....

today was one of those grueling days...the ones u think u may die if it doesnt end...i have tomorrow off thank the goddess...then work friday and have the weekend off...gawd help me...i am really looking fwd to it...
Ayla and her Posse (sp haha im such a nerd) are going to a Much Music Video Dance Party this Saturday...
I have no plans except to tiddle my room up and DO NOTHING but NOTHING! woot woot!

There was another murder in the neighborhood....oddly enough it was in a bldg we looked at while trying to find a place...wouldnt that just be fucked up...moving from one murder scene to another....ugh

1st day of summer. bah!

the landlady is coming to TOUR the apt tomorrow....i bet ill get shit 4 the shelves i put up hhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

holymutherfuckinshit

TOOL!!!!!

TOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is coming to Vancouver and come hell or high water me and the Bruce Man are goingggggggggg!!! OMG the radio announcement induced serious boner-age today.....

Ohhhh Maynard......im coming for ya baby!

dumbfuck

jesussssssssssssssssss

i guess i accidently set my alarm clock an hour ahead...so yeah i got up at 445 am and got ready 4 work only to realize at 513 am that it was not 613 am. ugh

i went back to bed.

now i have bedhead. ha!

im loving the windy gray weather these days...probably the only one in the city/province that does but whatev!

fuck now im really tired.

tree sap

my phlegm is not the consistency of tree sap...stubbornly creeping up from the nether-regions of my lungs...the very pit of them...cough cough

anyhoo...the CROW artist....
Michael Sowa <---click that...I like his art...i like standing in stores and just staring at it...b/c I always notice new little things. I like the piggy diving one too.

well this little art thing has been interesting, seeing everyones preferences...my taste is all over the map...I either love it or I dont...Gustav Klimt as an example...some of his i LOVE and the rest I dont....I love most of John Waterhouse's stuff though...its a mood thing as well.

so a boy called me today...yes...a bit of an older chap (in his 40s)...complete with an accent (u know how those accents go over with me....hehehe)...im not sure i like him yet though...ive not had any indepth conversations with him but hes been interested for a while so i guess ill see what hes all about...see how bad the damage is hahaha gawd knows i need to keep busy this summer with the sprog gone...

I was puttering around my house today after work, Ayla was a friends doing home work...the wind was blowing in...I had tunes on...I LOVE MY NEW HOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEE I put up some shelves...moved the fish, dug out some old treasures ive had packed away for years...blah blah blah.....

I have to be up early tomorrow...so good night freaks.

More....

Opinions ready please

OK I have a job 4 u all....I am looking for a focus piece for my livingroom...these are possibilities (the baby one is kind of a joke but not really cuz i am drawn to it haha)
ITS ART CRITIQUE TIME.....I am finding it interesting the art that I seem to be drawn to want to look at on a daily basis....its kinda weird to analyze...anyway...color seems to be a necessary for me....so plz critique...I will add more as i come across some...I am quite sure these are not UP YOUR ALLEY at all but thats ok cuz art isnt about that...RIGHT? lol

this is in Kelly the Fire guy's house......tell us the story of this painting again please Kelly.....

holy eyesight batman!

new monitor arrived....
holy shit!
its HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ayla's gunna shit...although i know she will say she hates it like everything else! haha

headlines of the day

* i am too inept to put blinds up so i need someone to plz come over and help me.

* i got a new showerhead...it RULESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

* my landlady told me to fix my bedroom curtains today, she didnt like the hem on it from out in the parking lot hahahhhahaha

* audit was good...not perfect but we did best in Victoria thus far so...woohooo!

* think matthew good would send me his livingroom painting if i asked him real nice? me neither..... :o( i want it 4 my livingroom real bad.

sweet thunderin' jesus

plz make this day suck less than yesterday.

amen

SHOWERHEAD TRAGEDY

oh great I live in the healthiest city in canada....least percentage of smokers and the highest age we are likely to live is 80.4...they arent actually talking about ME of course but all the yoga/jogging/biking/mnt climbing/eating nthing with a face folk....but fuck u all im gunna live to be 80.5 just to spite all you health nuts~!

I have decided to say FUCK IT and get a new a new showerhead...Yes i did just buy a new one but its so pitiful and lame i am willing to eat the 30.00 i spent on it to get one that actually doesnt SUCK!!!!!
u know whats gay...u buy these damn things UNABLE to try it to see if its what u want...how the hell do i know if the one i pick is going to have enough pressure?
the one that came with the apt is a skin peeler....u know, so hard it peels yer dermis off...and the spray bouncing off yer body BLINDS you and makes yer eyes sting.
How spoiled hey? We have unlimited water thats drinkable and I whine about the pressure of my showerhead...at least I know im a dick.

I think im a radiohead kick...
I love that little gibbly eyed Tom....

i need a nap.

grooving to some old Tonic

whatever happened to Tonic...the band??

anyhow i was looking up Ann Coulter's recent shenanigans...my gawd she really is the devil.
shes like an anorexic rush limbaugh...seriously...
the crap she spouts is not only complete bullshit its so clearly for media attention and sensationalism its kind of sad...
i mean really...ok ann, we all know you talk some good old barbed trash...shut up now.
you got ppl buying your book but only b/c its like the national enquirer *car crash, cant stop looking*
i hope a 911 widow sees you out one night and puts the boots to ya.
ya ya ya violent, i know but theres nothing like seeing a deserving person take a fucking beating.
i tried being all peace and love once but...i just like seeing ppl knocked on their ass from time to time.

i bashed a girl in the face with a full beer can once.
it was a beautiful moment.

anyway...moving on...tomorrow is audit day.
im sure it will be a horror show, i have to work a split shift in order to avoid super chaos...thank GAWDDDDDD the dumdum is OFF...jesus that was giving me an ulcer.

i got some more *settling in* stuff done today...it was time to Jen-ify my room.
didnt u all know im a fat old broad stuck wit hthe mind of a 15 yr old girl who needs posters up in her room in order to survive?
its my room...i pay for it, fuck off i say haha
my sinus's are bugging me...i wanna shove a hot poker up my nose....and i dont mean the flower.

my old friend michelle is doing a 24 yr old at the moment...bravo for her.
cant quite imagine it for myself...but shes a hottie mama and hardly looks 35 so...GO NUTS i say...after 3 kids too...gawd...i lost the lotto on natural beauty lol

Last day of school is June 29.......

*im squeeling such a high pitched squeel only dogs can hear it!!*

Confessions of a Mouth Breather

well i survived the day...did a 5 hr stint at another store and despite the fact i sweat my bag off from fever i didnt fuck anything up too badly.

this mouth breathing thing is cracking me up though.....just call me Darth.

i worked with a gal tonight who, i swear to gawd, has the worst customer service skills ive ever seen...EVER hahahahahahaha it was entertaining and scary all at the same time...

do u think we are all a little bit racist...? I know i am...
it disturbs me but I think its true...logically i know we are all the same...as was said in fight club, we are The All-Singing All-Dancing Crap of the World...equally...we all suck.

I just realized i have my pajamas on backwards.

a friend of mine called me recently after a 3 mth hiatus from our friendship....
in case u dont recall...the one who left her abusive boyfriend who beat her whilst being preggy and then had an abortion only to go back to him after...
i was so livid i couldnt speak of it with her for a long time...
and i found myself very full of contempt and huge disappointment when we did talk the other day...
i mean wtf...shes never going to be honest with me now about how its going and frankly i dont want to hear about it...shitty of me yes but...u know some ppl have all the opportunity in the world to break cycles and at some point it comes down to simple CHOICE...and im sorry but the girl of a mom murdered by an abusive husband has learned 1st hand the dangers of living such a life....and it sickens me that someone so smart can be si fucking dumb and needy that theyll go back to someone who has beat them up...
for all my fuckedintheheadness i just can not comprehend it.
im noticing in my old age of 35 that i have very little patience for the victim mentality i was once quite empathetic twds...
its like, give your head a shake retard and make a decent choice 4 yourself.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

so yeah im still pissy about it all...

im gunna go drug myself.
and blow my nose...

super snot mode

im in the *toilet paper jammed up the nose* stage of my illness....
gotta love the snot rockets in the nose...dont worry...i gross myself out...im not oblivious.

cancelled the denist appt tomorrow...dont feel like snotting all over my dentist.

my nose is gunna be all red and fucked looking tomorrow.

i was watching the cbc tonight...and was surprised to find out holland of all places has VERY anti muslim tendencies and they regard it as preserving their own culture...and multiculturalism is not a good thing...
and how the UK is on its way to following suit...
thats a pretty slippery slope.
anyone else watch it?

sunday fuckery

well the little evil sprog infected me with her viral demonic illness....now it feels like I swallowed glass and have become a phlegm fountain! weeeeeeeee

i am wearing pants that never stay up...so i will spend the day walking around work with me holding my fucking pants up. oh the joy

its audit time again so its PANIC RETARD TIME at work...to prepare and make sure all is perfect. Its really quite stressful...oh but i feel so alive *eyeroll*

i just ordered an LCD monitor....im rich u know. ha!

this post is untitled due to a non-creative mind

I just drempt i won a gold cell phone and a gold credit card (only the name on it was Jennifer Choddat which is NOT my name haha) b/c i kicked ass in shot-put (sp?) in the olympics hahahhahahahahhahaha
I was also being woo'd by a lovely british honey...i tried like a mofo to go back to sleep and keep that one going haha

it is saturday....
last night b4 bed i went mental on sears.ca and bought window blinds...princess ayla cant sleep with so much LIGHT in her room haha...and a sickening amt of $ on 2 bras....im always on a quest to keep my girls defying gravity....its a tough job let me tell you, finding the perfect bra (and defying gravity)...ive spent HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of dollars on bras I dont fucking wear, its quite irritating.
poor me life is so hard....*eyeroll*

what was the most fun u had as a kid?
i have a few moments in my childhood that really stand out, aside from my younger siblings,..catching frogs on aunty cathys farm...filling the little pool with them only to be mortified the next morning that the little buggers crawled up the sides and escaped haha
also...believe it or not summer camp in maple ridge, TIMBERLINE RANCH....check this place out now CLICK HERE
there was no pool or rock climbing when i was there but the horse riding, archery, riflery, hiking etc was frikkin COOL...i detested CHAPEL (it is sadly a christian camp hahaha) but the horse riding totally made the suffering worth it...lol