Not Gunna Lie...

Glad it is all done now...
Note to self: avoid getting drunk xmas eve in the future...makes it hard to enjoy xmas when you are hung over.
Xmas Eve we had Amanda, Erin and Hot Donna over...lotsa food, lotsa drinking, I started drinking at 4 pm...bad idea #1...by 6 I was hammered...made for a fun night til I hit the fuggin wall at 10:30 and needed to lay down...Donna had left but the lesbos were here...so while laying down all I can hear is Graeme trying to make everyone watch a fucking movie...there should be a JOB where its the main purpose to FORCE ppl to watch movies...b/c that would be Graeme's calling. So I am laying there contemplating my drunkness, listening to Graeme force feed ppl this movie but everyone's talking and chatting LIKE U DO AT GATHERINGS so hes shushing ppl...and ppl keep talking...fuck it was retarded..and seemed so loud...I was a little worried about the neighbors...so I can stumbling out making the volume get decreased and being a general cranky asshole...I was pretty much done 4 the night...the lesbos left around midnight and then Drunky 1 and 2 decide that presents should get opened XMAS EVE NIGHT after all. I say after all b/c this is what I prefer...opening pressies at night after a nice night of hanging out and snacking...not after getting fucking hammered. The PLAN had been altered and we were to open everything on xmas day so this little coup was fucking annoying b/c 1) I am drunk as shit 2) Tired as hell and already half hungover and 3) ITS 1230 am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I make plans to avoid this sort of thing b/c I don't like surprises of any kind. So Drunky 1 and 2 were all happy drunk and delighted and I sat there 100% unable to not be a miserable asshole. Merry Xmas.
In bed at 230 am - completely DEAD and HOMICIDAL. Ahhhh xmas memories....the best.

Mags and Co made it home around 830 pm xmas even thank the universe!!! :o) The wind died down enough to sail so everyone got crammed on the boat! YAY! This is good...b/c it meant the boat sailed from PR back to Comox so Amanda and Donna B got back to their families for xmas too....what a shit show...!

Xmas day we just slothed...well I cleaned up of course b/c I am the only one who cares that the house is a dump it seems so in between cleaning up I Wii'd, snacked and napped...Ayla went back to pretty much ignoring me...until she came out to pinch my bottle of Bacardi Breezer to take to Jessica's xmas night...effer. :\
Ayla is boxing day shopping today the little consumer whore that she is...we were supposed to do dinner at Tracey's today but its postponed til tomorrow...Tracey needs a rest - dont blame her. All good on this end...we have leftover ribs and amazing smashed taters to eat from our xmas dinner... MmmMMMMmmmmmm teriyaki ribs....thanks mom for the kick ass recipe and instruction!

I have a headache...and all I wanna do is play Wii...the Wii Resort game is friggin FUN...we love wake boarding and archery!!!!

HEY GUY!??? Are u and Donna coming down for NY's Eve??

Xmas Quote of the Century:

Graeme: It's weird you dont like anal when you ARE so anal.

Fisting Shaking!!!

this is what Sidney thinks of the ferries not running!

Ohhh man...the wind has Maggie, David and the Squid stuck in Comox b/c the ferry wouldn't run yesterday! They have been camped out at the terminal (you have to leave your car) since 430 this morning and they already canceled the 1st sailing at 630 am...I am SOOOOO hoping the 10 am sailings happens...and the wind dies down enough to make it safe!
I would suspect Maggie is losing her shit right about now...car full of xmas loot and nearly a week away from home...Sidney was DONE traveling when they were here and it being xmas eve day and all I can only imagine being stranded is really about as NON-FUN as something can be. I am soooooooo willing the wind to eff off so they an get home and Donna B. can get TO the island to see her family 4 xmas! What a mess. I hope it all works out...for everyone. Terrible timing. (Just realized Guy and Donna are trapped off island as is Ash and Joel! Bah!!)

Mags visit was good...man that woman can SHOP. She is like a robot...not even kidding. haha Sidney was cute as ever but man am I ever outta baby mode...I used to think ppl were just lame for being outta baby mode when Ayla was little but...now I get it...they are exhausting! He is even an exceptionally good baby...when I am around baby-ppl I am on high danger alert and it sucks the life force from me...I am always 5 mins ahead of dangerous scenarios 2 keep baby-ppl safe so b4 I realize it I am DEAD in the HEAD from all my proactive worrying! I watched him Wed. night for 3ish hours while M & D were shopping and he was happy 4 the most of it but he had 2 sad crying times and I just can't deal. hahahaha Him and his train set though....UBER CUTENESS I gotta say.
It was nice to have some family around this week...I admit it. Not just b/c they showed up with a SEVERELY GENEROUS gift either...{40 inch LCD TV - thank you Mags, David, Pam & Jim!}
It is a sweet machine I gotta say...Ayla's quote: "wow it looks way less ghetto in here now" - thanks kid. ::eyeroll::

Tonight we have having some lovely lesbos over...Amanda and Erin...and Donna is coming over too...YAY!!!!!!!!! We will snack and drink and Wii and be merry 4 sure. Ayla will be in attendance as well...I have a lot to do today...slow day of puttery goodness...I feel so bad for Maggie and Co. and everyone else...I would be losing my shit.

Non-Revelation....but

MY FAMILY IS AWESOME....ALL OF THEM!
EVEN THE ONES I DON'T LIKE MUCH! BUT ESPECIALLY THE ONES I ADORE....
xoxoxoxox

MERRY XMAS TO ME!

I just found out as a perm. excluded employee I get 20 vacation days per year...rather then the 14 I am used to...

WOOHOO!!!!!!

Doink!

Just a little while left at work til the Maggie and the Squid Boy pick me up...Weeeeee!!!

Someone sent a giant Purdy's box o chocolates to us today so my teeth are screaming with death but they are soooo goooood! FUG FUG FUG XMAS!

Ayla's given up her room for Maggie and Co. for the next 2 days which is quite a miracle but very nice of her...ignore the fact I spent a few hours cleaning it like the queen was coming b/c Ayla is NOT EXACTLY the cleanest person to walk the earth....
I bleached the bathroom the other day and near killed us all...I don't bleach often but man I was on the phone when I was doing it so I wasn't THINKING PROPERLY and didn't open the windows etc....DUH so the place stunk bad and im pretty sure I have brain cancer from it...I couldn't small anything all day even after I left the house, it rendered that sense DEAD. Spooky.

Xmas Eve the Lesbos are coming over...Amanda and Erin are all sortsa funny so itll be a good night and I am hoping my beloved Hot Donna will take a Reactin and join us all as well. Fingers crossed!!

Weeeeeeeee

Only 2 days of work this week!

Today Mags, Squidlette and David come visit for a few days!

David and Graeme can talk about how awesome Nikon cameras are while Maggie and I ignore them and eat candy! woooo!

Pet Peeve # 9847598375834

When ppl ask me OBVIOUS questions I want to kick them in the pancreas!

STANK!

Went to Logan's last night...to support Donna as she was entering into her ex's territory and felt a little weird about it so I said I would go in solidarity...turns out she was fine...The Stockers were good (we sure miss Mike Jones on bass though ::POUT::) despite the annoying ppl bothering me the whole set. I often ask myself why the fuck I bother to go to shows when I am constantly and highly irritated by everyone around me.

1st there was BitchFace McTiitties who I think was trying to pick a fucking fight with me by dancing like a flailing 80's moron in a sparkly Santa hat to surfer punk rock right beside me with her big old lady tits in a push up bra bouncing around for all of us to enjoy (and I type that sarcastically in case u missed it)...It takes massive restraint for me in those social situations to not start swinging and sometimes the only thing that stops me is sobriety b/c I know in a fight sober I wouldn't do as well in the agility dept compared to if I had a few drinks...also I am 40 shouldn't revert back to my behavior of 20 years ago...really...

Then there was Ditzy McFuckface in her hoytee (and ugly) girly dress and full movie star make up, flipping her blonde hair like she was in an 80's music video right beside me...her hair kept hitting me and all I could think of was "THIS IS HOW LICE GETS SPREAD WITH ADULTS". Her and her same dressed brunette counter-part were begging for a throat punch. instead I just looked at Donna and she laughed b/c she knew EXACTLY what I was thinking...

Then there's this regular who shall remain nameless for fear if he ever saw this would actually probably stab me to death...he is at all the punk shows...he is a fucking degenerate...he lights shit on fire...tosses mic stands around and milk crates...flails and bashes around drunk as fuck, looking like a total mess...I have heard his life story through ppl who know him...I get that he is broken...but I fucking hate him...I hate him and his negative energy (I know it is funny that Ms Cranky Negative Pants can hate someones negative energy...but mine is not evil....his is) and have no idea how he manages to get laid b/c he stinks, he's gross and he is a complete fuck up.

Which leads me into the other pet peeve of these punk shows (aside from Andrea) - why do they gotta stink so bad? I get it, you are hardcore...you gotta wear your Jaks vest or your Teem Shiddy vest to proclaim you are in a club of sorts...and that the vest is never washed in case the patches get fucked up...I get it...BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP U FROM BATHING MOTHER FUCKERS?!?!?! YOU CAN SHOWER and not stink...I walked by a few guys last night that made my face pucker...its not stink sweaty hot bar smell...ohhh nooooo its I dont wash my clothes or shower stink. They don't all stink thank gawd or you wouldn't be able to breathe in there...People like Jono and Ty...they shower...they are proper adults and I can assure you them showering does not impact their hardcore status. Fucking punk rock a-holes - USE SOAP!!!

OK I feel better now actually.

ha ha ha ha aaa

Chair Hades

I hate my computer chair. It is my Granny's old desk chair...I dunno how she sat on it day after day all day...it kills my lard ass and makes me insanely uncomfortable. I gave Gimpy Graeme my good comp. chair when he moved in since he is gibbled enough already...I dont miss having that big giant chair in the kitchen mind u but I do miss its soft butt goodness. The pimped out ones I see in offices now are awesome...my boss has one of these and when shes gone I like to sit on it b/c I think its gunna be hard and uncomfy but its SOOOOO not....not that I go and sit at her desk when she is not there like some kinda 80's movie power hungry peon...nah nothing like that I swear...MuHahahahahaha

I was up today at 6 (gawd dammit) - just in time to see Ayla and 2 friends come in...from Denny's breakfast after a night out...she let me know she was ok earlier and managed to stick to our agreement tonight so that was good...won't see her all day though...the 3 of them are in comas now I am sure...oh to be young and retarded.

Last night at Donna's crafting I snuck a big giant plastic rat over to her place and planned to hide it somewhere in her place to scare her...managed to get it in her bed, under her covers in hopes she would flip the blankets back and get a little scare...(yes I am a shitty friend)...Graeme and I were so stoked about it...then about 10 pm I get a text msg from her: THANKS FOR THE SCARE ASSHOLE!
BahHAHAHAH hahhaha hHAHAHAH hHAh ah HAhahahahahahaha omfg. Awesome...cant wait to hear her tell me all about it today.

Aside form that funniness I made her 22 peanut reindeer heads and she started her magnets despite FAILING to have a glue stick or having any prep done...ohhh Donna...lol

We are off to see THE TOURIST this afternoon...Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie...fuck I better bring a diaper. Then we will walk over to Alex and Kelsey's and say HI and drop off a little xmas goodie bag b4 busing home...I am considering popping over to Logan's tonight 2 see the Stockers play but I dunno yet...by that time of night I am generally dead. Old Lady Syndrome.

I have been Jib Jabbing up a storm....and will be doing that again shortly...Oh how I love the Jib Jab fun!!

Has the "wonk" today...

That means I feel wonky.
Went to bed with a headache brewing and slept RIGHT THROUGH til my alarm woke me up....COMA FACE KID!
It is Friday today....the fun day at work....Just me and D. I can listen to my tunes at an audible level and this pleases me.
Tonight after work it is Noodle Box night with Donna and Graeme...we are grabbing Noodle Box and heading to Donna's for a night of crafting and such...should be fun...she is not feeling awesome but it'll be ok...G and I will venture home on the bus, that should be exciting hahahaha Never bussed from Donna's before...ADVENTURE!

Nicola in Belfast sent me a very cool but unexpected xmas treat this year - Mighty Boosh Goodness!!! The card is a total crack up!! and the bag, well u know I am gunna be using that sucker proudly!! noel Fielding pin is going beside my bed...he h eh heeh hee THANKS NIC!

TRACEY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I love it that Tracey is always a year older than me.
Thank you Tracey 4 always being older than me...EVERY DAMN YEAR!

Me and Ayla....she so loves me....

Powdery Buns

...make it look like u have cocaine all over your face and shirt. Just sayin'.

It is a foggy Monday here...I have some social engagements coming up in the next week...tomorrow I am dining with Nicki and picking up a piece of plywood for Ayla's bed...it will make it feel like brand new once I slip it in between the mattress and box spring like mine. Then Friday I am going to Hot Donna's to craft with her...woot! Then Monday a late lunch with Dan the Man from my old job...and then Tuesday Maggie, David and little Squid are coming to stay with us for a few nights b4 xmas...STOKED!!!

I am sad that WALKING DEAD isnt on again until next friggin OCTOBER! Rude. Tried watching a HIGHLANDER sequel last night...omyshit it was horrible...Even Adrian Paul's hotness couldn't save it...the 1st movie I loved..the series I enjoyed as well but all those other movies can go fuck themselves.

Ohh Adrian Paul...get in my bed already.

and the verdict is....

neck is a little better today..WOOHOOO!!!!

Friday Night Whine

Well..I was supposed to go out with Miss Hot Donna tonight but fuck...my neck is still messed up and now my gut is talking to me in loud guttural mumblings and i just don't feel safe to leave the comfort of my own home...I am quite sad b/c I AM NOT THE DITCHING type at all...esp. for LIVE MUSIC...and I have been waiting for Big John Bates to come back to Victoria for over a year...and now I am gunna miss him :o(

I have revamped the xmas twig for the 3rd time...holy obsessive girl. I think I am gunna leave it alone now and just enjoy it and stop fucking with it. Maggie sent me a funny and awesome singing xmas pickle:




Soooo fab! 4 verses of pickle singing!

Graeme is boiling turnips and beets...and such. Oddly Ayla ate some of his mashed up veggies one day and liked them and took seconds...YEAH! Get up off the floor ppl who know Ayla...I know! I was astounded. Not sure he can create the exact same mix again (and have all the planets aligned the same way) but its worth a shot.

I have taken a whole new stab at parenting...At some point it becomes obvious that what u are doing is futile so...its time 4 a change...so I decided that since she is so desperate to do her own thing I was gunna seriously BACK OFF...the truth of it is I cant stop her from doing what she wants anyhow so really unless its life threatening wtf is the point of fighting about shit that really doesn't matter?? This is a challenge for me - as a control freak - but...week 1 I have done pretty damn good...I had a few moments where I could have justifiably blasted her but instead I just carried on and peace was maintained...I can't stop her from drinking with her friends...or smoking weed..so rather than always being the ENEMY all the time I am opting to try my hardest to let her learn this shit on her own...she isn't doing anything I didn't do as a kid - I am still alive. I ditched curfew all together...which seems really extreme for some ppl I am sure but...it was such a source of conflict I really had to look at it and gauge whether it was worth it. I decided it wasn't. She would miss curfew when she felt like it anyway so clearly the boundary of that stipulation was long gone. Grounding was proving to be useless too...She did - AND I AM PROUD TO SAY - finally out smart me...I was seriously worried...this girl 1) cannot lie to save her own fucking life and 2) was constantly displaying such acts of teenage stupidity (getting caught 4 things easily avoidable) that were clearly needless if she would just be CLEVER about things that it was really scaring me. I cut her phone off...and she used her ingenuity and took an old cell phone and walked to the store for some pay as u go Telus mins and WHAMMO! new phone, new #, Mom can go suck it. lol I am sure you all wonder why this pleases me so...I shall explain.

Ayla has always been smart...excessively smart...and I am not just saying this as a mom...she was always VERY smart and clever...she talked early...was reading by 4...was pretty much fluent in french by the end of Francophone kindergarten...she is witty and possessed incredible cunning-ness for a kid...this was back when she would talk to me so I could see how her brain worked, how the wheels turned and the gears turned effortlessly in her head...she had depth and humor...sarcasm mastered by 3...then: BANG. She stopped talking freely to me...and without her letting me into her head I eventually could only gauge her by her actions and let me tell you...a smart teenager she is not...Not in the sense she is DUMB or anything but...she is distracted and busy with teenager shit and all of our conversations are frivolous and rarely about anything of consequence...I miss this the most about Ayla...I hope one day it all comes back for us...once shes done telling me how stupid I am and spazzing out about how I have wrecked her life. Back to where I was going - she just gets caught for shit as a teenager that I expected her to be able to get away with...I guess if I was not busting her all the time 4 shit then I could sit in a parental bubble of denial like most ppl do but...I am a fucking detective and I know shit and have an insatiable need to gather info and know stuff...more than I wanna haha Anyhow..I decided since shes only a mth shy of 17 it is about time she just ran her own shit...perhaps with it being all on her and me not nitpicking her and always being on her ass she will find a happy medium with life and the responsibilities that fall into her lap. As I said - it is going to be a challenge while she is out enjoying her freedom...but essentially...I think it is best for both of us....cord cutting has begun...Life is short and I am not spending my life fighting with her over shit that doesn't really matter in the end. This seems all awesome for her now but the real deal about being responsible 4 your own shit is what it comes down to and she clearly needs to learn on her own...I think she will do fine...
Big John Bates right now is at Lucky Bar drinking a beer looking for me in the crowd...I know it. ::sob::

This weekend is all about me and my neck getting better...I have 100% completed all my xmas shit...so I don't wanna go in another GD store forever. I am pretty sure the general public is getting stupider...

yayyyyyyyy

tomorrow is friday

Template Newness

Hope this loads faster for my dial up readers!

haaaaa

I am so stoned at work right now....I have had to undo about 6 envelopes i sealed b/c I stuck the wrong shit in a bunch of them....

DO NOT TAKE STUFF AT WORK THAT MAKES YOU DUMB

Wendy and Jim's New Baby hahaha

Wendy and Jim's New Baby hahaha
Originally uploaded by jennzebel

They arent allowed to post pics of little Alex online for 6 mths (when the adoption is officially final) so I had Graeme doctor this one up for me... :o) That is their cat Scout.