wtf holiday is this??

BC DAY? why is there a BC day? im just bitter b/c i work it.

I have no bread...no milk....no eggs...and i cant find my bank card. This is not good.

Last night I couldnt sleep (wtf is wrong with me, I can always sleep!) so I popped in Operation Mindcrime - the VHS (hahah) and watched it all....love the music but omg Geoff Tate and his mullet were supreme cheese! Even spookier is his bald head bc he looks like a hare krishna dude....lol (im sure i spelled that wrong and im too lazy to look it up)... I wonder if the dude who got this MASSIVE mindcrime tattoo on his back regrets it at all in the year 2006??

No french toast 4 me...no cereal for me...dammit. I have to eat cabbage leftovers again (James, does that make u throw up in your mouth? hahahha)

I wish I had the balls to wear pigtails to work.

Yo!

Go Here

lay back down your pretty head

its friday....tomorrow is saturday and i dont work tomorrow. yay

today was oddly productive...time to revamp my management priorities and make a shift towards long term goals

waiting for A & T to get here with dinner so i can drink beer and vegetate, as my uterus is reeking havoc on my psyche and making my thighs ache like someone kicked me in the donkey balls.

more nothingness later...

MY PRETTIES!

Matt Good Rants - Tits and ass

yeah

things i do not recommend

1. eating a big dinner at Cafe Mexico and then in the middle of the night having heart burn to kill a donkey but being too tired to get up and do anything about it RIGHT as u are on the verge of getting your rag.

2. getting knocked up by a cute mexican (ooo its a theme) b/c the sprog produced will be far too gorgeous for anyones good and thus u will have a miserable life keeping her out of the clutches of evil boys everywhere.

3. sending beastiality videos to hard core animal lovers.

4. being a well to do canadian musician and marrying a not so smart tart for a wife who then rapes your bank acct and breaks your heart.

5. trusting a human

6. eating yellow snow

in case u all forgot my mom's insane

just when I thought she stopped writing to me in caps...this is what I get in my inbox:
(im leaving all the spelling mistakes and nonsensicle (word?) parts for your reading pleasure)

JUST A COINCIDENCE TONIGHT. HAD A COUPLE FELLAS @ THE BAR. ONE OF THEM IS THE 6 YEARS OF MAKING PIZZA AT *insert pizza place here*. APPARENTLY HE HAS DELIVIERED MANY PIZZAS TO YOUR WORK PLACE. THE ONE GIRL THERE IS VERY NICE AND PLEASANT.
HE SAYS HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A PERSON TO GO OUT AND HAVE A DRINK WITH. USED TO BE HEAR AT *insert pizza place here* BWFORE MOVING TO VICTORIA. IS A VERY NICE FELLA. ASKED HIM FOR HIS NAME SO I COULD RELATE THIS COINCIDENCE TO YOU. HE ALSO LEFT ME HIS NUMBERS IN CASE YOU WANT TO GO OUT A HAVE A BEER SOMETIME....... I TOLD HIM YOU ARE NOT A BEER DRINKER , BUT THAT I WOULD PASS ON THE MESSAGE.
ERIK J___ @ *insert pizza place here*# 405-xxxx or Cell 744-xxxx.

is that not fucking disturbing?
oddly enough I know this person already, through other friends from town, never met him myself but know who he is etc....
WHY GAWD WHY does she think this is a grand coinkidink?
and I DO DRINK BEER...
and no i will not call him...I guess i should be glad she didnt hump him first and then set me up with him (yeah sadly that has happened, thus I never take her up on any such offers)

Just thought id share that.

So yeah Matt Good was fucking mindboggling...I dont call too many performers ARTISTS but he really is one...
the NIN's cover of HURT was a highlight alright...but honestly i enjoyed the whole set...I was so gleeful that I couldnt even get drunk....i drank 8-9 drinks I think and never even caught a buzz...i was too distracted...
I was glad he did FATED....
He has never sounded better....ever...truly fabulous...the venue was very cozy, the whole dance floor section was filled with tables and we ended up with pretty good seats.
Man...that is the highlight of my year...

Matt Good Aug 1 2006

ITS MATTHEW GOOD DAY!!!!

wooo FUCKING hoooo it is FINALLY here...so excited about the acoustic show i practically dribbled all day...ok not really but u get my point.

i bummed Erica's kick ass camera off her for the night and I have a huge hard on for it now...i wanna toss mine in the gorge.
i hope i dont wreck every picture i take tonight hahaha

stupid brainless tick

well its out now.

jenny good sucks, even her ex husband thinks so.
http://www.matthewgood.org/
what a sad entry....it sucks being the last person to know your insignificant other is a useless shit.

birthdays and blasphemy...

yesterday was Baby Maddies 1st Bday....I drempt about her last night...that she was in a high chair and eating a giant caramilk bar...hahahaha like that would ever happen hahaha anyhow...she turned one...I may die if i dont get to see her soon...I dunno if i can wait til frikkin september!

looking fwd to the pictures (hint hint hurry up ppl) from her big bash!

so yeah-its the holy day today...I have already contributed my own personal form of blasphemy (below)...feel free to add ones missed in the comment section hahaha

i think i slept like a dead whale last night...i woke up feeling like id been in a coma for 12 yrs.
its seafair weekend in PR so i guess thats why everyones so scarce.
MEL was travelling a while ago and apparently she picked me up a *TREAT*....i think itll be cheesie jesus paraphenalia so im REALLY excited!!!!! I'll post a pic when i get it.

i loaned my camera to Andy this week for when his kids are here and forgot about Matt Good on Tuesday. ugh I will try an bum one off someone to use....ERIKAAAAAAAAAAA??????**hint hint**????? I will take my regular camera if i have to but it is not against my religion to pay to deveolpe film.

its rainy today...i can not tell u the degree of boner this gives me after so many warm days.

i must go eat something yummy.

in case u needed a new name for yours

vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, cunt, trim, hair pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, fur burger, cooch, cooter, punani, snatch, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal, flower, nana, pink taco, cat, catcher’s mitt, muff, roast beef curtains, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup, stench-trench, wizard’s sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle’s doodle goes, altar of love, cupid’s cupboard, bird’s nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuckpocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs, black oak, Republic of Labia, juice box, Golden Palace, fetus flaps, skins, sausage wallet. Holiest of Holies, sugar hole, The Death of Adam, home plate, Deer Hoof, Golden Arches, Cats Paw, Mule Nose, Yo Yo Smuggler, Mumbler (Aussie), Dinner Roll, Crotch Waffle, Piss Fenders, crack, Melvin, Dove Breast, Brakepads, Vedgie, Slurpy, Vacuum Vulva, Pastrami Flaps, Hot Tamaki Walk, Buffalo Gums, Rooster Jaws, Wagon Ruts, Beaver Teeth, Mumble Pants (Sweden), Ninja Boot, Marcia (Aussie), Skin Canoe, Fatty, Mossy Jaw, The Big W, Chia Hole, Lip Jeans, Beetle Hood, Hungry Minge, Sausage Wallet, Front Bottom, Welly Top, Frum, Pancake Fold, Tongue Roll, Bologna Flap-Over, Furrogi (Poland), Fortune Nookie (China), Bearded Taco, Calamari Cockring, Displabia, Slot Pocket, Bluntfrunt, Fishamjig, Pole Magnet, Pocket Pie, Clamarama, kitty cage, Chicken’s tongue, Conch shell, Crack of heaven, Dog’s mouth, Door of life, Fly catcher, Fruit cup, Jelly roll, Lobster pot, bunny tuft, KNISH, her asshole neighbor, lotus, nappy dugout, moneymaker, womens weapon, tackle box, bone hider, red sea, pizzo, JIZZ RECEPTICLE, The Helmut Hide-A-Way, hairy heaven, furry 8 ball rack, crave cave, arbys with fur, fish canyon, toolshed, snake charmer, Furby, Enchilada of love, Ham sandwich, Camarillo brillo, Brazilian caterpillar, dick rack, boy in the canoe, flesh tuxedo, Mound of Venus, queef quarters, Venus butterfly, cooter, cream canal, poontang pie, wet mark, private area, thresher, punash, salami garage, tunnel of love, slurpee machine, pink cookie, penalty box, ground zero, meat crease, bait, birth canal, holy grail, pole hole, pork pie, fuzz bucket, one-eyed python trail, bubble gum by the bum, stink rink, theme park, saloon doors, pink truffle, bitter & twisted, burger bar, meat counter, temperamental ringpiece, python syphon, big bud, the Wombsday Book, the condo downstate, snake lake, the indoor barbecue, pound cake, beef tomato, tickled pink, launch pad, horn of plenty, the indoor picnic, hamper of goodies, flapped bap, bonefish, close encounter with the turd kind, sperm bank, man’s charity bash, bush tucker, midnight dip, the one-door vulva, the welcome opponent, the Twatlantic Ocean, temporary lodgings, field of dreams, bean, cooze, old catchers mitt, devil’s hole, lucy, pish buffet, pooswaa, poonaner, davey jones locker, pink panther, tinker bell, south mouth, dick eater, wonder bread, wolly bolly, foxhole, hot pocket, head catcher, Lawrence of A Labia, silk funnel, dick driver, purple people penis eater, meat curtains, ponchita, cherry pop tart, fat rabbit, scunt, pee jaws, mingus, The Notorious V.A.G., poon jab, babyoven, penis parking, cooter muffin, the promised land, cock pocket, cha cha, the shrine, bitch ditch, fury pink mink, mammal hole, ever-lasting cum stopper, the toothless blow job, happy flappy, wilt chamberlian’s daily glove, the code defierthe salt water taffy factory, mommy’s pie, the easy bake oven, the deflower patch, the virginator, the schlong sucker, the dea bone patch, the vegitarian’s temptation, the vegan store, the blow hole, the pump protector, bag pipe, Spitball Bullseye, meat wagon, pickle stinker, jezebel’s smell, yoni, willys haven, scrumpter, peach, sweat box, yeast pocket, penis warmer, tampon tunnel, penis pothole, cucumber canal, egg drop Box, sperm shack, dick dungeon, cock curator, b.o.b.’s bungalow, mommy parts, tuna pot pie, nice slice, peter vise, cock sock, rack of clam, peters grove, penis purse, grandest canyon, fish dish, banana box, tuna spread, pink portal, count fapula, red river gorge, happy valley, revolving in/out door, baby zipper, richards house, stop-n-pop, bone polisher, packin shack, weiner wrap, clap trap, camel toe, dildo hotel, axe gash, pearl hotel, sea food six pack, clam canal, coose canal, dick deposit, wand waxer, vidgie, erie canal, candy kiss, gauntlet, round mound of beehound, lick n’ stick, lap flounder, tomahawk chop, chin-chin, pachinko, cuntry pie, lip tip, the big casino, one eyed worm hole, amazon forest, cock cave, fuckdonut, coochie pop, babby, wet seal, pissy froth hole, bald biscuit, the unmentionable, mans ruin, peeshie, hairy potter, courtney cocksleve, panty hamster,deep pink, jaws of life, gizmo, faith, cock magnet, slippery slide, Meat tunnel, pink heaven, squid, dick basket, hot spot, poochika, pudding, bowl, love cave, squeeze-box, quim, honey pot, the bone collector, goodie basket, depository, pink turtleneck, bread-box, little debbie, pole hole, pandora’s box,snail tracker, cuntzilla, homebase, pud pocket, bear trap, indian bones and the temple of poon, chanch, big montana, noochie, choot, golden valley, nappy roots, dick mitten, mystical fold ***this is my sunday blasphemy***

what better than a UTERUS CASKET?

Is that not the coolest casket ever?

Shawn and I hung out Thursday...he made me eat half a ice cream cake at Dairy Queen...I wanted a simple cone but NOOOOOOOOOOOO Shawn needed the fudge middle goodness of a DQ Log Ice Cream Cake....im a glutton so I went along....we almost ate the whole thing. ha! People were looking at us funny...Shawn named us Binge (me) and Purge (him) hahahahaha

Busy ass day yesterday...Handy Andy came over last night after work and we lounged about, having a few drinks...his twin daughters arrive later today so he will be MIA for 10 days.

I mixed avocado on my egg salad today and omfg it was like I was this mad scientist that just cured cancer I was so impressed with the results haha

Any of u use Linux/Fedora as an operating system...? Im considering switching over to it cuz im sick of all my stolen copies of XP not being able to update and this little *U HAVE A FAKE COPY* thing on my taskbar.
I know...im going to hell....with leg warmers on...and a toque.

OMG look at this girl...this is my beloved Bruce and his daughter Ashley who I havent seen in person since she was a wee thing...shes all graduated now...this is a kid I actually considered kidnapping for my own way back when hahahhaha

Request

my dear friends....plz leave me an out of context STATEMENT of any variety so that when I get home from work I can smile and laugh and ponder (Tydes, I know u wont let me down) haha

damn

I just dreamed I won 17.00 on a scratch and win then I woke up and realized i didnt. How RUDE!

I just got an email from my mom and it wasnt in CAPS....this is quite an oddity. Not sure what to make of that.

My *fun friend* Andy is going to be out of commission for a week as his twin girls are coming to visit...I might actually get something done other than myself that week HA HA HA

I think my morning breath right now could cure cancer its so toxic...

My Special Monkey

well isn't that...speccccial....

when I was a kid I thought I had super hero eyesight...I thought I was *special* (and not OLYMPICS) b/c I could see MOLECULES with my human eyes! No microscope needed! u know those little things u see (which are dust and shit on your eye usually lol) if u mess up the focus of your eyes? yeah I was sure those were molecules hahahahaha I used to think when I closed my eyes and saw all those blasting colors and stuff that that was something only I saw too. I have always had a sense that I was incredible somehow but just havent figured out what it is yet that would convince the world that I was as well... clearly it wont be my super hero eyesight since I now wear glasses ha!
This seemingly unattainable *thing* about trying to figure out what *talent* is a little disheartening at times. It makes you ponder wtf the point of it all is if u can go through life never quite reaching what u think is your true potential? MEDIOCRE is my middle name ladies and gentleman

{I ban all comments trying to convince me of the contrary, thats not what this is about, fishing for compliments is NOT the agenda here, no self deprication etc just thinking out loud.}

I also refer to myself often as painfully average...not that thats BAD but I guess we all grow up thinking we all should be special somehow but really? how unrealistic...we all cant be fucking special can we or ppl like Martin Luther King wouldnt have a leg to stand on in history...
Who do you think is special? and not the olympic variety haha I am curious to hear what it is to each of u that makes u view ppl as special...memorable...a cut above...etc...do tell! This is a good time to plug your favorite people!

meow mofo

I want a cat with 2 different colored eyes.
A cat with 2 eyes would be a novelty all in itself.

I have absolutely nothing of value to say except that I am sickened and disturbed by world events...and am embarrassed to be apart of the human race, as always.

It bothers me that this bldg has no recycling aside from paper. WTF do i do with cans and glass and plastic? it is blasphemous to toss these things in the garbage.

I have homework to do....ugh...fuck.

Camping

Mama Kelly and Baby Maddie

I am a little curious as to why Uncle Jimmy is wearing Aylas bikini...
Sooooo pretty
I love this picture hahahhaa
Yes 12....she is 12...now I really need prozac

again...

it is too hot to live.

i have been nothing but a sloth all day...i got up at 8, did laundry...then went to sleep for a while....got up...tinkered...made lunch, drank a lot of water...watched Tristen & Isolde again on dvd...slept...ran a cold bath and froze myself into a hypothermic state of bliss, now im out and its fucking hot.

ayla is back fr camping...ive never understood camping...seems like too much work to just get there and sit around...i can do that at home w/o any effort put forth...
although i admit if u offer up a camper/trailer i could be coerced into going...so long as theres a toilet to sit on. I squat for no one.

shes back anyway and tubing sounds like it was FUN...she does love tubing...

last night was great...Margaret and Donna were late but it was too hot to mind or be at all upset hahaha once they arrived we all had a drink and gorged on sushi...and greek salad and bonerlicious bread...Donna made a joke about being anorexic and Erica made one back implying she was anorexic and then Donna looked really uncomfortable for a second and i was laughing inside bc i know it was taken wrong but it was too hot out for me to explain so when Donna reads this she will know it wasnt 4 real haha
After the pigfest we all rolled into the livingroom, strategically placed the fans for optimal coolness and Margaret dazzled us with her psychometry...
once again and not surprisingly I am a closed off wretch of a human....gotta love it when ppl u hardly know pick up that shit about you right off the bat...I think the older i get the more transparent I am becoming.
or maybe these old walls can only last so long b4 they start to crumble...who knows.
I was surprisingly uncomfortable having a reading with an audience...i wasnt expecting that so i was a little put off by my own reaction so i think next time we will try it alone and see what happens...pretty cool stuff....weird and delicious and ridden with my own personal skepticism but enjoyed nonetheless...

I was contemplating going to a movie with Erica but I dont think i can make myself leave the house...its 615 pm and still 30 degrees. fuckin fuckery. i should stop being a lazy twat and call her.

Last night i think my nosey landlady was hanging around on the balcony trying to listen in on the goings on...man she is one busybody woman...i kinda wish i didnt live right under her but its handy in some ways i guess....cant imagine shes an annoying partier.

I really want McPukes right now...with a 40 gallon pop and lame little cheeseburgers...

I have to go to the store once the sun goes down...lucky 4 me there is this little 24 hr store across the street so once its cool i will venture out 4 bread and milk and an ice cream sandwhich....mmmmmm