mmmm yogurt n berries

so yeah... gay cowboy love and tent sex is hot hot hot...it makes me wanna take up camping...i really liked the movie...but i think i liked it b4 i saw it anyhow so... i dragged warren with me and he spent the whole movie whispering *it just isnt right* hahaha and laughing at my reactions to the love scenes. hhahaha warren figures if heath gets an oscar for all that hillbilly mumbling he did something is wrong with the world haha He is a good sport... personally i am a jake g. fan ~ he is purdy and sweet looking...i think its FABULOUS they kissed full on...ooo yeah baby back to the grind today...blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this 8 day stretch of work wont kill me but itll make me wanna die im sure. omg i got the cutest baby pics of maddie this morning... they made my ovaries throb and vibrate...she is such a doll.

Moving on....

Visitors From Outer Space

Lots of visitors this week.

Thursday - Sara arrives. Sara being my half biological sister (deadbeat dad sperm donor side). We met for lunch downtown...I broke her Thai food cherry...it wasn't really awkward or anything. We have been in contact for 15 years so there is a bit of familiarity there - the existence of that made this rather painless.
We made our way back to my house and spent the afternoon talking...she filled me in on all sorts of stuff about her dad and her life growing up. She gave me all the goods on the family and the dynamic (she is fairly positive her grandparents never knew of my existence) and how she fit into it all. We went for a nice long swim, chatting the whole time...then ordered in some dinner....more chatting. It was pretty decent really. While we have very little in common as people we are both conversationalists to some degree so there was never a lack of something to talk about.
At the end of it all - I was glad it happened and even more relieved to realize I missed absolutely nothing in the biological dad dept. One thing I certainly did not need then or now is another poor male role model/father figure in my life and that is exactly what that would have been. Listening to Sara explain his lack of real interest or kindness twds her as a child was very sad. I applaud her for - at 31 - being able to manage accepting that he is only capable to certain things and she has no expectations of him beyond those things (car advice, help with moving, etc) - anything emotional (support, sharing of feelings, etc) is completely not on the table.

Though, he has moments of real thoughtfulness from time to time (though seemingly infrequently) - Example being: When his oldest son James and his wife Jackie had a baby girl and named her Kayla...he quietly mentioned to Sara to not tell them that I had a daughter named Ayla b/c he thought they would feel obligated to pick a different name...for some reason I think that was thoughtful even though Ayla and Kayla are 2 different names and to me are nothing alike.
In a nutshell it sounds as if he spent a lot of his life as an alcoholic, abusive and mean and a gambling addict with very little to show for his life at 65...materialistically or relationship-wise.
Of his 3 children (Sara, James and Kevin) it sounds like he is closest to Kevin, his youngest, who is in his 20s and is fetal alcohol affected and leads a fairly limited life. It sounds like he makes a point to look out for Kevin a lot which was a bit redeeming.
I certainly have no reason to ever take his lack of interest personally...and this visit did not change my opinion of him at all, being that it was fairly low to begin with.
If you click the photo I think you can see that Gordon's family all have a similar look, long face etc...Sara says she sees a little of that in me but it is not pronounced like it is with her and James and Kevin. I still do not see it even a little in myself...but others do. No real pictures of Kevin to use but he looks very similar to Gordon and James, just very thin.

 Madelyn xo

Friday - Kelly, Regan and Madelyn arrive. So nice to see them all, especially Madelyn who is 9 now and loves to swim - we had a blast swimming while Kelly and Regan went to visit Kim at work and go for a drive. They left this morning on their 2 week road trip south to San Fran/Santa Cruz, California. Kelly is 18 weeks pregnant and this may be the last road trip in a while!

Today was a quiet day - not feeling well at all so I slept a lot and will probably be up late. There is another SUPER MOON tomorrow night. Hoping I won't forget about this one and get a look.

EDIT: APRIL 2020 - Guess what...that guy was not my dad after all thanks to Ancestry DNA confirming Sara and I were not related. Turns out my real dad, who I met 2 yrs ago, is pretty dang AWESOME!!! :) And I look a lot more like him, imagine that!

Sad Zucchini Plants

How sad...my zucchini plants got herpes (powdery mold!) and I had to cut the leaves off and I think they will just perish now. The 2 baby zucchinis [as big as a pinky finger] died too.

::POUTING RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE::

A farmer I am not.

Fish in a Barrel

There is always a weird darkness to my relationships with men...that thought just occurred to me so I thought I would start rambling on here and see where it went.

I am not sure if that darkness is my own...or part of the generally ridiculous pair ups I get myself into. Perhaps it is my own inability to communicate honestly in a relationship that creates this hue...my inability to trust and commit...the full on fear of shared intimacy...not sure...it certainly cannot be helpful in that I generally end up with broken fucking assholes with even less self awareness than sidewalk chalk. My last attempt at having a relationship (AKA The Year of Severe Inconvenience) taught me a lot of things about myself...mainly that I could easily live my life to the end not in another relationship. That is no exaggeration either. I am 100% serious. I am laughing as I type this but it is really true.

It's been so long since I have been on here blathering...shameful blogger am I!

Ms A. is loving her new life in Australia...there is talk of possible sponsorship via her employer come December....I immediately panicked when she told me that b/c that means she gets 4 yrs there to work...but then I shook my head and had a chat with myself: What is your problem dummy? This is what you worked for...for her to be strong and independent and do adventurous things, live life and have a wonderful time doing it.

Then I was OK....and even a little excited for her. She is moving into an apartment with 2 friends Aug 1...its a great little place that comes with weekly maid service. MAID SERVICE! Are you kidding me. Sign me up and start with all this cat throw up the cat kindly left outside my door at some point while I slept. She is doing well and learning a lot living on her own - it is a great thing.

What the hell is going on with airplanes this year...? Bombed by Russian rebels...hijacked by weirdo pilots...random crashes...bad weather crashes...JAYYYZUZZZZZZZZZ so much for ever flying at ease again ffs. So much death in the news these days...Israel needs to step the fuck down. Shooting missiles into Gaza is like shooting fish in a barrel...real slick you bunch of bullying whiners. The mainstream media has crawled up Israels ass and reports from there, I am pretty sure. So tired of this fighting BS around the world - and now our eejit Prime Minister has decided to write an editorial about his pissiness against Russia...why is a PM writing an editorial about anything never mind  something to do with foreign policy and a current world issue? It seems like he is trying to sway the population against Russia pretty intensely. I am not in love with Russia at the moment but I am pretty tired of wars started by western countries who basically just kill a bunch of women and children and do shit all to make anything better. I have an American Republican friend on FB who is a serious Muslim hater (I just ignore those posts and skip over them entirely) - I really like her but man she is so full of hate b/c her nephew was killed in Afghanistan - he signed up for that and it is shitty and terrible that he died...but to hate Muslims for it when FAR MORE Afghans were killed in that occupation than US soldiers...I do not quite understand her reasoning of it all. We all have biases...I certainly do and I am pretty aware of them b/c I am puzzled by my own reactions to people and situations b/c of them. Education usually solves mine...the more I learn about something I have a natural bias against the less of a bias I feel. Truth is people in general annoy me - hardly matters where they are from.



Been watching some great documentaries these days on Netflix...

HOT COFFEE about tort reform in the US and shows you corruption at its absolute finest in the US
HOT COFFEE WIKI PAGE

NIKOLA TESLA Master of Lightning WATCH HERE
Fascinating person he was...I think he had a touch of Autism or something...he was a weird dude but quite amazing. His social retardation really hindered him in so many ways...would be interesting to see what he could have done had he taken care of business instead of making so many other ppl stinking rich.

Going to make myself leave the house tomorrow and go see WISH I WAS HERE. I friggin love Zach Braff - ever since GARDEN STATE came out 10 years ago and became one of my favorite movies I have been waiting for him to make another one. I love that he writes the movies, directs them and stars in them...very full circle. Love it. Being in recluse mode has made my movie going suffer. Want to see the new Planet of the Apes movie too quite badly...I wish summer would just fuck off.

I have a million more things to say but I forget.

Photos

Kim if she had long hair haha

Stuff I grow...hardly farmer material here...

Summertimeeeeee....can suck my balls.....

Yep. Done. Lets move on to fall please...lickity split.

A's new room haha a mess already in 1 day

 Ms A has moved into an apartment this week with 2 other gals, she is subletting a single room for 3 weeks. Its messy already so she is feeling right at home I am sure.
She is doing well, loving Melbourne and her job doesn't seem to be killing her yet.

Thunderstorm tonight maybe. Exciting! Looking fwd to that. Kim will be here for a swim, dinner and sleepover. We can catch up a bit.

Little Ms Maddie (8 year old cousin) has been on my mind a lot this week....her deadbeat dad has resurfaced. This sort of stuff always strikes a pretty powerful chord in my psyche...having my own DBD issues and then dealing with A's DBD....add in some healthy abandonment issues and just a general ongoing rage for unfairness and injustice - it is a soup of madness all up in my head. Maddie is fortunate to have a family to pick up all the slack of course, 2 strong male figures to more than fill the gap but it is a messy situation for any child. She is the same age I was when I found out my dad wasn't actually my dad but some other guy was. It is too much to sort out in a little kids brain. Watching A struggle with this as well was heartbreaking...A turned out strong, independent, seemingly well adjusted but it is just a "thing"....we all have things in life of course...can't escape childhood with some "thing" hanging over you to sort through into your adult years it seems...par for the course. It is life....but I do not have to like it....or add the fucking asshole on Facebook just because he figures he is worthy of forgiveness (Maddie's DBD, A's has been deleted and blocked since the day she turned 18....beautiful moment)...I just wanna grab little Maddie and squeeze all my love and understanding into her.

I have not mastered the art of forgiveness. I know I would be a happier person for it but it is just not there....the capacity. [I will never possess the integrity, heart or advanced super human strength to forgive A's DBD for his selfish choices that broke that little girls heart - ever] I find more often the former rage and anger just gives way to apathy or indifference...never actual forgiveness. It turns out my DBD's daughter (that makes her my half sister) Sarah is coming to town in August and it is the 1st chance we will have to meet in person after well over 10 yrs of letters and internet communication. It is has been sporadic, we are by no means close or connected on any spiritual level but it is impossible not to feel interested in her and the rest of my half siblings (2 other half brothers) - I am only in contact with Sara though and my aunt Isobel (my DBD's older sister). No one else is interested in the bastard child of 1970. (I typed that with a laugh)
It has been a very long time since I cared about any of this business, I kind of found a place to shove that rejection and such and just forgot about it. I can honestly say I do not care that my DBD has never had the balls or inclination to talk to me even after giving him much opportunity. At first I was deeply offended - then - I just didn't care. It doesn't sound like I am missing much anyway. I am just in awe of all these people who walk away from their offspring with such seeming ease...I realize life is complicated but some things supersedes your own shit...children being one of them and when you cannot humbly offer your heart up to your own child you are just a piece of shit. The End.

Nice light thinking on a Sunday.

Tasmin

I hung out with Tasmin on Friday, she is the daughter of Lani my old boss...she is a good kid, going into grade 11, we went record shopping then back to my place for a swim and Thai dinner...she looks a lot like Ms A so I felt like I was cheating on A...haha it was kind of weird but it gave me a good dose of teenager which I hadn't had in quite some time.

My zucchini plants are going nuts...1 is flowering....will be interesting how they will produce being in the very non-ideal setting they are in...hell, if I get 1 zucchini I will probably poop my pants.

Guess I better get at it before this day is gone like yesterday...holy hell I slept the WHOLE day away yesterday and loved it.

All fans engaged....

That's right. Summer has arrived...so all 5 fans in this apartment are swirling me a little relief and magic. Have I mentioned how much I detest summer weather?

I ventured out for my 1st walk in ages on Sunday, knee was up to it finally so off I went to explore my new neighborhood a bit - more specifically the lovely Gorge Waterway across the street. It is nice to live across the street from the ocean again. The Galloping Goose Trail is a nice for walking and also good for getting run over by cyclists if you forget to shoulder check before stepping off course (this has not happened to me yet, I have been careful!).

The same day was the long awaited concert of my summer...the highlight for sure - Heart with Jason Bonham...had no idea before arriving that I had scored 3rd row floor seats...I was looking at the wrong seating chart when I bought them clearly as I thought there was a whole other section ahead of us....but there was not so that was the 1st thrill of the night, being so close! Sadly, Kate and Jessie couldn't go due to Kate being a cripple with a bad back so Kate passed on her tickets to my bosses hubby and his friend.

Nancy Wilson

The show started with 1 set of all Heart songs...the beauty was there was no filler at all...all the hits and my favorites (Barracuda, Dreamboat Annie, Magic Man, Crazy On You, etc)...and while the 80's stuff is not my favorite Anne Wilson singing Alone was really nice, changed it up and I liked that version a lot. Man, that woman can sing....and at 64 to sound as good if not better almost 40 yrs later - amazing. The second set was all Led Zeppelin covers with Jason Bonham on drums...something magical about that, knowing this guy is sitting up there pounding away on his dead father's legacy...truly awesome...and Anne Wilson sings Led Zeppelin better than anyone, maybe even Robert Plant (haha) - seriously, I felt too uncool to be witnessing such coolness.

Really was an excellent time - just hearing Battle of Evermore live blew my fucking mind (I was too spazzed out to think about recording it unfortunately) - could have died right then. Best show in a long time....definitely one of the top 5 shows I have seen in my life. Paid for it the next day being a knee gimped piece of shit but...well worth it.

Today is Canada Day...Laundry is done...Kim was supposed to hang for the day but she had to work at the last second (rude) so she wont be here til dinner time for a short hangout. Boo. Feels like I haven't seen her in a long time...going to have to remind her to invite herself over and not to wait for an invite b/c I am a dick and get hermitized and never make plans sometimes.

  

The Gorge

Click here for The Gorge pics

Makes a few crackheads worth it - having this right across the street...really like it down there - aside from the stink of goose shit in a few places.

Medical Miracle

Going for my 1st walk in 2 months...knee finally feels like it might be normal again soon. Taking my camera for proof.

Worst photo ever...hahhaa

Probably wondering wtf is up with my eyebrows in this picture huh? This was my idea to show my darling daughter how I feel about her penciling in her eyebrows... again.

See - she did this before she went traveling and on a daily basis it cut me deep inside to see those Brooke Shields/Caterpillar Atrocities she would draw on herself. She did not do it right before the trip once she got them all shaped and prettified or during...until now...

She is so friggin lovely it boggles my mind why a person would want such a feature to be the only thing you notice on their face. Admittedly, I am no fashionista or glam gal - I do not know shit...but if all I can do is STARE IN HORROR at your eyebrows I am pretty sure I am not the only one so quit that shit. I won't post a picture of hers or she will fly back just to light me on fire...I am also too chicken to post this on Facebook b/c I do not want her mad at me. (haha coward)

It is Friday....FML I love Friday. This has been a rough work week...any time a consulate changes their policy re: document authentication not only does the volume of my work increase but it results in an influx of emails and calls from frantic ppl shitting their pants b/c they have to have their documents PRONTO - thus it becomes my problem b/c that is my personality...I suck up everyone's anxiety and make it my own. Fun times. It will simmer but until then it will be a little hairy...better than slow and boring though that is for sure.

Ms A is enjoying Melbourne....such a city gal. She has found some work starting next week, not her ideal but it will tide her over until something more to her liking comes along. She has made a bunch of friends and seems to be reveling in the experience...even if she is starving. Starving by choice. The hostel has a bit of a kitchen issue...no oven, very busy and she is just not in love with cooking in general. She needs to get in a groove is all. She send me some great little gifties that arrived a while ago...some really cool chopsticks and a cloth koi wall hanging for the wall once framed. I have so many cool chopsticks (thanks Chris and Fangfang)...

Pool is still closed...they are replacing the boilers apparently. Big job....it's ok b/c my knee is not better yet....I have turned a corner though and if I keep favoring it and taking it really easy it might eventually be its old self again. But will it really? I am only 43 and every time I friggin hurt myself (which 95% of the time is due to exercising for the love of gawd!) I am never quite right again...that seems a big young for that. Thanks obesity. You are awesome. I am at a crossroads right now - the degree of my antisocial behavior/agoraphobe tendencies is getting a bit uncomfortable even for me...I am recognizing the need for a shift or I will be "that person"...you know "that person"...the one that ends up on the news b/c it took weeks for the cops to find her in her hoarder house, dead and rotten. I know if I died my fucking cat would eat me too...eyeballs first...tender eyeballs. That pisses me off. Ingrate cat.

23 JUMP STREET....hahahaha I laughed...a lot. I really enjoy those movies. I actually hope they do a 3rd one.

Let's talk about TEA:

I like a good cup of orange pekoe tea (you know the stuff gramma's drink, the stuff the english love)...with sugar and milk....mmmm but I am trying to wean myself off it mainly b/c I would rather have  NO tea than use artificial sweeteners b/c they just gross me out....and herb teas are just a cruel mean joke....hot, good smelling water with NO TASTE....smelly hot water. Rude. Until this tea came into my life...
It came in this variety pack I got for Xmas (thanks Aunty Pam or Maggie or whoever it was - you rock) and it is amazing. IT HAS A TASTE TO GO WITH THE HOT WATER SMELL!!! I actually had to check and make sure they didn't sweeten it b/c it wasn't bland and gross. I just ordered myself a whole tin online...I am stoked. Let's not talk about tea anymore. Gawd.

A few concerts coming up....end of the month - Heart with Jason Bonham on drums (his dad as the Led Zeppelin drummer, John) and they are doing a set of LED ZEPPELINNNNNN covers....if you have never heard Heart do Led Zeppelin covers I just feel sorry for you. They made Robert Plant cry ffs....Heart made Robert Plant weepy. FML. I cannot wait.

July 3 Holly McNarland rolls into town, Sidney actually (BOO! SIDNEY!) but I am going anyway despite the pain in the ass to get there and back. I have wanted to see Holly McNarland live since the early 90's so 20+ yrs of pining shall end soon...Love the gals with big voices....would kill a nun riding a donkey to see Sinead O'Connor live too.

Fat Lamentation

A is settling in nicely in Melbourne – despite being sick right now...she has a zillion resumes out and hopefully she will get a job in the next 2 weeks. She has about enough $ to make it 1 month....after that...tough choices...I am pretty sure she will have a job in a few weeks though so I am not going to worry about the what ifs. Glad that she is there and safe and connected with Zed's mom, Sasha.

I have beef barley soup in the fridge at work calling my name....the Aegean Cafe makes THE BEST beef barley soup on earth...my mouth is filling with spit as I type about it...jfc.

Last pool day today...despite being a cripple and regretting it later I am going to swim tonight and that will be it for likely 3+ weeks. I need 3 weeks of no swimming sadly to get this knee in order. I swear I am the only person on earth who injures herself no matter what kind of exercise she tries doing to lose weight. SWIMMING...??!?! Who the fuck injures themselves swimming – OH I do apparently...and it is a common swim injury too...which is probably not as bad for ppl not lugging obesity around with them once they get out of the pool. F-U swimmer's knee....life wrecker!! Not enjoying being a limper...being fat draws enough negative attention to one's self. Really looking fwd to getting rid of this knee BS and utilizing the gym etc instead while the pool is down. Not sure I can treadmill quite yet but the weights for my upper body stuff are better than nothing.

This seems to be how it is now...every waking day I wonder what kind of physical ailments await me. One would think that was serious incentive to lose weight...it is...I have incentive coming out of my arsehole – no shortage of incentive. Incentive is awesome (prepare for impending sarcasm) b/c with so much incentive you feel like an extra loser when you don't use the incentive as it should be used. And to all you "oh just do it you lazy asshole" a giant fuck you b/c you have no idea how layered this issue is for many people...so jam your judgment up your favorite hole and mind your damn business. Even I am shocked by how deep this shit is...the key is to break it down and make it simple. In the end it is basic math...eat less, move more...a lot more. More than you want to...and do not stop. Until you break it down for  yourself though - you are essentially a slave to your own dysfunctional psyche...

I wish there was a food rehab place...a place you get sent by your Dr like drug addicts get sent to drug rehab....where you talk about your shit with someone who doesn't suck whilst being forced to be CLEAN....and are taught how to shop and prepare food and schedule your life and time so that it is a priority - permanently...brainwash me while you are at it...hypnotize me and make me forget I love fries and bread and all things evil. Make me forget about my passionate love for sitting down with dinner while I watch TV after work...Make me forget about chocolate, chips, Pepsi, candy....make for forget food is my boyfriend...make me forget I prefer food to the company of most others...brainwash me to think I am full after a small amount of food and to eat slower...it is all rather sad and pathetic. Fuck it...I will do it myself. Or I won't...thing is...time is a tickin'...control needs to be taken before it is too late. Apologies to my heart and kidneys...I will try and do better by you.

EDIT: then this was posted on CBC after lunch....how inspiring...how long do you think it will take the medical community and society in general to shed themselves of the idea all fat ppl must be lazy, weak and inferior humans....?

READ THIS

Watched AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY last night with Kim....what a great movie. So dark but funny...that family dynamic....jfc. Highly recommended if you enjoy family drama and humor (and swearing!)...http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1322269/

Birthday...

You'd be 38 this year you dink.

Thoughts....

I have nothing nice to say. It is all negative and name calling and vicious spewing at mean people....so I say nothing....






NOTHING.

Drop your weapons....

Sometimes in life, especially as you get older, you find yourself in these weird scenarios that you could not have imagined yourself in. This happened to me last year, grand accusations made (completely off base) to a 5th party....took many months for ppl to open their mouths enough for it to get back to me, at which time I was fucking mortified...not just b/c it was no ones business and private but b/c such a demonizing spin was put on it, painting me to be something I truly am not. I am many things, which I will laughingly admit to freely even if it does paint me in a shitty light but I am not owning shit that is not mine.

Many months later and after some very complicated events and drama that exceeds the Young & Restless soap opera...I have been struck with some clarity. I do not often put humans on pedestals b/c I have a pretty good understanding that ppl are just human, falter and waiver and depending on the situation - shit the bed in epic fashion. I lost a very good friend in all of this bullshit and I have lamented that loss all this time but finally I think I am just done feeling terrible about it. Gawd knows I have been an ass and ended friendships with little explanation - it is easier than hurting someones feelings telling them there is something about them you just don't like...perhaps this is karma...this unresolved friendship, dangling in the wind like a dried up corpse...it makes you question your instincts, your taste, your gullibility...it makes you question your own self worth for a moment - until you shake your head and remind yourself this is just another one of those cock-sucking speed bumps life plants in front of your driveway...just for kicks.

People disappoint you...and you disappoint ppl too. It is the way in life...the unresolved, unspoken and highly valued friendships that are laid to waste by bullshit and lies are just casualties of assholes with problems. You take inventory of your part in it, learn a few lessons and be done with it. It is really that simple. Gotta QTIP that shit...Quit Taking It Personally. QTIP the ever-loving fuck out of it and move forward...

Real friendships are usually so simple at this age...the real ones...unspoken loyalty and love binding friends together now that in our 40s we can talk about things and not be so caught up in our own crap or assuming the worst about someone. I revel in the strength of my long term friendships...and the relationships built within my family...amazing grateful for what I have and the ppl in my life...makes the losses a little easier to bare.

Wide awake at 4 am....

Why not? 2 hours ahead of a proper work wake up time...what could go wrong...?

Kim - TC10K 1 hour 8 mins

Just had Pam & Jim here for the weekend, always fun. Pam never stops singing or delighting us with her enormous amount of gas. It really is phenomenal. I have no idea how 1 person produces so much excess gas...I almost feel like she has a defective valve that the rest of us have. Though she at least is all hot air while Jim drops bombs that you taste for an hour afterwards so...take your pick. haha

Kim ran the Times Colonist 10K Marathon this weekend and kicked its butt pretty awesomely...1 hour and 8 mins....pretty good! She is rather proud of herself and is not too crippled either...great prep for her 40K marathon in a few months from Tofino to Ucluelet. Scary business, that one!

Miss A and Jaime, Mui Ne, Vietnam

Miss A is enjoying Vietnam much more than her travels though Cambodia so that is good...they went to this fantastic water resort the other day: VINPEARL 27.00 for the day included EVERYTHING. Fun!

Connie is waiting to hear if she got a job in Campbell River so her and her family can pick up and leave Red Deer and move to the island...crossing my fingers!! Would love having them closer even if it is shitty CR and 4 hours away by car...beats the shit out of Red Deer, a million and 3 miles away.

I am teetering on the edge of insanity at the moment, hormones are a delicate matter...I have a full on rant that I have been wanting to spew forth for some time but just cannot muster up the effort and in all honesty....some things are just not worth the energy it takes to spew them forth. It is disheartening that even into your 40's people can be such disappointing creatures...just when you think you finally have a circle of the right people the ol' monkey wrench gets tossed into the mix and you are left reeling over the complete and utter degree of asshole dysfunction some ppl practice in life. On the upside...these moments remind you who you can count on in life and the importance of nurturing familial and friend relations. I am pretty fortunate.

Hearing Ryan McMahon's "I'll Be Damned" song on Californication S07E03 was AWESOME. Seriously amazing use of that song....I sure hope it gets him some extra exposure he deserves.
Listen here: I'll Be Damned

Happy Chocolate Egg Weekend

Easter Schmeaster....this is all about chocolate. Do not be fooled by religious zealots trying to convince you otherwise, zombie Jesus and all those shenanigans...oh and it is all about cute kids getting cute bunnies...I was really hoping Sidney would name his Alfalfa since Madelyn named hers Clover but he decided to call his girl bunny Jimmy instead hahaha

So frigging cute.

Miss A is is Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh City to be exact. iPod was stolen in Phuket, Thailand so I am pretty sure she is dying without music. I know I would be crushed and shaking over traveling without music...and seeing as she feels the same way about music as I do I think she will be getting one shortly. I recommended ditching the iPod BS and getting a tablet of some sort. Hoping she follows through since I will be paying for it until the insurance $ comes through (though there is a pretty good chance that will possibly go sideways - whatever) - girl needs music and wifi. Cannot wait for them to get to Australia..seriously...sick of this sketchy bullshit. It has been almost 3 mths...I will foolishly feel better once she is somewhere 1st world.

Shawn is around this weekend...I will be forced to wear pants but that is ok...I will live. Hoping for a dinner/game night Monday night before he leaves Tuesday.

For now....I must go putter.

Holy Stink Fest

A few random tidbits I must share:

1) I am listening to a song off the Xanadu soundtrack. Judge away.

2) I was just on the bus and a gibbly old man got on and the aroma wafting past me as he went by ALMOST truly made me throw up...like he peed his pants 20x, let it dry each time and also spilled beer all over himself...I was mere milliseconds from starting to wretch...so I am counting the stops considering if I should just hop off early...and the wind shifted and his stink must have gone to the back of the bus so I stayed put...then as we were getting closer to my stop he got up....and stood in front of where I sat, getting ready to get off at my stop. I fucking near died. As soon as the bus stopped and he stepped forward I bolted to the back door of the bus and ran for fresh air. Ran. Ran. I do not run...and I ran b/c I was worried I was going to throw up...and aside from having to smell intense old urine and beer on someone in close quarters - throwing up in public is my least favorite thing.

3) I am now listening to Come Undone by Duran Duran.

4) My dream last night: I moved into this swanky bldg and it was amazing...and the backyard area was all green and forest-y and at some point I look out the window and there are bears everywhere...and being scared shitless of bears this makes me freak out in the dream and I go around trying to find someone to talk to about it etc....and I look outside again and there are all these ppl, some celebrities, Brad Pitt for one, with these swords like Michonne on The Walking Dead cutting the heads off all the bears and I am like freaking out...b/c you know, they scare the bejesus outta me but I don't want them all decapitated ffs....so then I start ranting and screaming that these fuckers cant just get celebrities to do their dirty work and think ppl aren't gunna be pissed off about this cull...maybe we should cull the celebrities...on and on...the end.

5) My kid and Jessica are on a beach in Cambodia, trying to not hate the country since it has been a terrible leg of the adventure...anyhow...on the beach, relaxing and these kids come up and give them bracelets..........and then when they didn't want to buy the other ones they had they got all hostile and used scissors to cut the bracelets off them and called them liars and bitches, following them all over the beach like little assholes. I do not give a shit if you are poor....that is Assholery 101. They leave Cambodia tomorrow....and paid more to do so just to get the hell out of there.

6) I am listening to Adam Ant now, thinking of Adele -  my friend not the singer.

7) Swimming is awesome....though last night I learned my lesson about too long in the hot tub. JFC so many ppl in the hot tub, it was optimal for getting out without making an even bigger drenched spectacle of myself...so I was waiting for the right moment IE: when less ppl were in there and no one was blocking the stairs....well...too hot...much too hot...dying a slow death. If I was pregnant my baby would be a boiled pork chop right now...so hot...finally made a run for it and dashed for the

shower to get to the cold water and had to really talk myself out of falling down. Dead...boiled to death....terrible. Won't be repeating that mistake. Kim got me an Avengers paddle board today with THOR on it WOOOHOOO!!

8) Pat Benatar....we're running with the shadows of the night...so baby take my hand it'll be alright...bahahahhaa She is back in town this summer and I am so tempted b/c it is at the Royal....but I just spent 100 bones to see her last year so....not sure I can justify.

9) THE END.

Whew...

Well, thank gawd that is done. Even not moving my own stuff that was exhausting...still recovering and I think I am getting sick again ffs...anyway...

The movers were ridiculous. Pretty slow...it took up ALL the mover budget. Essentially the 3 man crew hired for a 3 man crew job was a 2 man crew b/c the 3rd guy was new (1st day), new to Canada (couldn't read the boxes to know what room they went in) and slower than a sloth on heroin. It was tough to watch. 7 hours later...it was done.

Naturally, I shared my opinion of this with the owner - stating clearly that training new staff should not be done at the expense of the client...training is having new staff shadow senior staff so they know what they are doing and what the expectations are - not dropping them off and calling the newb the 3rd man.

I got some 3 day later random text back from the owner saying I could have 15% off my next move. HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Uhhh no thanks. The sad part is Kim's move was great with this company, as was Erin's...I lost the lottery.

Some of my stuff was broken too...treasure kind of stuff, with no real monetary value, all sentimental...I just opted to let it go b/c it was eating away at my happiness. Put it in the fuck it bucket and chuck it.

The new pad is really large for an apartment...this den area for the computer etc is the cat's meow. 1st time my PC hasn't been in the living room!! The living room is so big I could have a dance party, for real. Got the curtain rod and curtains up in the LR yesterday, looks great...mostly all unpacked and now just trying to find spots for everything, making everything all fit right. Nice to have a spacious place for once.

The pool/hot tub etc is friggin great. Seriously. Made time a few times this week to go enjoy it and it was awesome...the pool esp is really big and a great temperature.

My fridge was hooped when I 1st got here and within 24 hours they replaced it. (UNHEARD OF!)...enjoying this place a lot....also that the insulation between suites is really good...can't hear TVs or people talking above or below me...I can hear walking once in a while but not much...I think a kid lives above me but it is hard to say...I am guessing at that b/c when I can hear it reminds me a kid tromping around but it is still 1000x better than my last place...amazing perk.

Aside from all that I am feeling pretty crappy...really over did it I think and have been paying the price all week...I actually fall asleep sitting up...and I sleep fairly well here despite a bit of street noise (quiets nicely in the evenings though)...getting screens for the patio door and 3 windows next week sometime...looking fwd to that so I can open the place up without the cat making a run for it.

Cat was pretty freaked out on move day....shes settled now though and is back to being a total a-hole like usual. It is driving her NUTS that she cannot get into the closets here...MUAHAHAHAHA~ she is pissed... she also spends her life trying to get into A's room but I am keeping it off limits so ppl with allergies staying here have less cat dander to deal with in there...she hears that door handle and comes flying out from wherever she is to try and weasel in that room. So funny.

I am in love with my new curtains....that sounds weird I know but it is true...I couldn't find matching dark ones so I got these patterned ones that I thought would match the dark ones and it worked quite well...I should probably offer up photos but I am not that organized or done enough yet...!

The bldg I look at from my balcony is full of weirdos. That should make for great stories as time goes on.

Cardboard Chaos

10 days until the move. Cannot happen soon enough. Dwelling in a cardboard jungle is boring and blah. I do not like having access to my things. Aesthetically, I am dying of ugly white wall syndrome.

Miss A. has managed to bounce back from the Malaysian Malaise and is now in Laos with Jessica, hopefully seeing some great things and chilling. She is a terrible giver of details so I really have no idea what she is up to at the moment. Her friend Jaime – thankfully – takes great photos so there were some nice shots of them at the cooking class and other things. Jessica lost the GoPro with all the photos from the trip and A's diving video. NO COMMENT. Seriously NO COMMENT. Fugg.

Cleaning my oven this week was the highlight – not gunna lie...with little effort (aside from bending over which can feel rather strenuous in my state of non-fitness) that grimy task is done...a few more to go...really want to try and have most of the cleaning done by move day so the final clean is not gunna be a nightmare. Probably just be me and Kim so the more done ahead of time the better. Looking fwd to moving into a place that is already clean...so seldom the case when moving into apartments. I particularly loves the crusted vomit dried onto the side of the bathroom drawer in the place I am in now. Yes that is right...crusty vomit. Sure glad the landlady spent sooooo many hours attempting to remove the adhesive from the write-off cupboards (which did not work) instead of bothering with the crusty vomit. I cannot wait to be out from under her regime of shittiness.

This missing airplane is so freaking bizarre. Read a great article today (Thanks Chris!) outlining the reason for Malaysia's mass incompetence on multiple levels...the corrupt gov't regime in place for 50 years is a nightmare of nepotism so all these ppl in high places do not do their jobs well when the shit hits the fan b/c they are not qualified to hold their positions, they just happen to be related to someone important. This explains a lot doesn't it?

As a westerner, while the story is intriguing and riveting, I cannot help but imagine what this limbo hell is like for the families of the plane passengers. With Miss A being in that neck of the woods it could have just as easily been her on a plane that went missing and I can only imagine the rage towards a disorganized country that is bumbling their way thought this mess. Maddening.

Nicki came over last night for some dinner and a catch up...her dog Ty was recently put down...did you know a dog can get cancer from a spider bite...? NO LIE. Unreal! And that carbohydrates are also cancer causing...!!! WTF. Anyhow...was a good evening...tonight I will try and get some loose ends done while I bake some chicken...my balcony requires a good scrub and I am not really looking fwd to that. I also need a little air born ninja midget to come over and clean the tops of my shelves and cupboards...any takers?

Still suffering the effects of Dexter being over...can't recommit to another show at the moment...too much to do anyhow.