the debate goes back and forth for 30 mins....she doesnt want a mom who cares or pays attention...yet shes always quick to lay a guilt trip if she feels like shes neglected.
amazing...that all i ever wanted as a teen was a mother who wasnt a crazy selfish bitch who gave a shit...and now i have a kid who wants the opposite....amazing i tell you.
my new mantra is THIS TOO SHALL PASS...
i think the only way im gunna survive teens yrs is to shut half of myself off and take nothing personally....yet...when kids end up meth heads or hooked down on John St. whos the 1st one ppl like to blame shit on...? the mom.
ugh whatever.
she at least is so irrational she cant win an argument to save her life...
single parenting is intricate...i think u have to be one (or have been one) to get a real sense of the fucked up lopsided responsibility involved...it is daunting and its like wearing a canon ball on your ankle whilst swimming....
a lot of it is my personality...i am not gret at dealing with stress so u can imagine how that factors into everyday life...
i know single parents who have different personalities, the kind where shit rolls off their backs much easier...i think they end up less miserable.
I am tempted to move to a shithole town just to spite her as i know that would KILL HER.
anyway...it just boggles my mind...being persecuted b/c you love your kid, care about their well being and fear 4 their safety 24/7...I cant wait 4 her to have kids and then she will be kissing my ass, apologizing...
HA!
anyway...im listinging to MYTHOS right now.... TYDES...do u listen to them much? I just have this one cd...and i quite love it...its Delerium-like. I like Single Gun Theory as well...
...im irritated and im going to bed to watch a movie and end this weird day.
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