did i tell you what a dr said to me recently?
when i went for this appt to do the medication switch i was sent to this psychiatrist...who, at the time, i thought would talk to me about what i was on, how it was working and then switch me...but nooooooo i got in there and he asked me questions for an hour...i want really ready 4 it so i was tripping out a little...
by the end of it he said *well its no wonder you are single, you have no real reason to trust anyone*...
VALIDATIONNNNNNNN FROM A STRANGER... (shit have i blathered on about this already???) anyhow...its kinda tweaked me since then...pondering quietly about my state of spinsterhood...haven't come up with anything profound of course (haha) but its been a fun fun ride.
i was reading about nail biting today and that was interesting reading this one page, it was like they were telling my weird habitual nail biting history...and skin picking....although i can say with all honesty i do not and have not ever felt compelled to pull out hair...
i wish i could have an objective observer of me as a kid tell me what i was like when i was little...cuz living in my head seems to be much different...
i wonder at what point all these weird little manifestations were started to calm/stimulate my psyche..?? and other weird control issues i have that developed into other things, unrelated to the original thing and morphed into a fuckin stupid battle for me as an adult....
see the prozacs worn off and im thinking again dammit...which is just a futile fucking affair i can assure you.
i hired someone today to start in june WOOOOT!!!!
my goal is to hire 2 more ppl by the end of may...
i bought walnuts the other day.
i wanna make brownies with walnuts...
but ill eat the whole f'ing pan cuz ayla hates walnuts but...i so pine 4 the walnuts....
ohhh the stress of this life...
friggin china...these natural disasters mess with my mind...i feel guilt cuz it seems nothing bad happens here....its like we are being favored by mother nature or something and really dont deserve her kindness...
not that i should even think that since i live on an island that would surely drop into the ocean if a big one came (we live in a fault line after all YAY!)
it always pisses me off that aid to these disastrous places is so delayed..the red tape hell...when ppl are dieing and shit just friggin GET BUSY!
its maddening.
well on that happy note...im going to bed.
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