Ohhh Noel...

Noel Fielding Interview

First record you ever bought: It was Motörhead and it was an album called Bomber. I was quite a weird kid.

Last time you were chatted up: Probably last night.

Last lie you told: Probably last night as well. I lie every day.

First movie you ever went on a date to: I went to see Greystoke – that Tarzan remake – with a girl. It had Christopher Lambert in it. It was one of those dates where you have an ice cream and you watch a film and you hold hands. It was quite innocent.

Last time you cried: About two nights ago, a friend of mine was playing some Johnny Cash because she had to learn the words to ‘Hurt’ for some performance piece, so she kept playing it over and over and we were absolutely traumatised by it.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work: Sleep.

Last great meal you cooked: I cooked quite a good chilli once, about ten years ago. That’s it. I’m fucking hopeless.

Last extravagant purchase you made: I bought two sculptures of two baboons called Lord and Lady Muck on an antique piece of furniture from an art exhibition and it was quite expensive. It was very expensive actually – way too expensive. But I was pissed.

First crush: I quite fancied Danni in Neighbours – this blonde woman, but I don’t know her name. Steffi Graf as well.

Last book you read: A Boosh fan bought me an original copy of The Jungle Book, like the first print from 1894, so I’ve just started re-reading that and am really enjoying it. But the last book I read in its entirety was Willard and his Bowling Trophies by Richard Brautigan, which is amazing.

Last time you were star struck: I actually went to Wimbledon and David Attenborough was sat in the row in front of me and I thought that was quite amazing. That’s insane, isn’t it? He’s like a proper person.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country: Make the weekend a day longer. Give everyone Monday off as well.

Last meal on earth – what would it be?: I’d like fish fingers, beans and maybe a glass of milk. In a dish that’s got separate sections like children have, with a plastic bib. Orange food rules.

First song you’ll sing at karaoke: ‘Hopelessly Devoted’ by Olivia Newton-John

Last time you exploited your position to get something: I do it subconsciously. If we come up to a club or something, or a guestlist queue sometimes I hover about getting my face out and looking impatient and they often say, ‘Oh Noel, he’s alright. He can come in.’

First time you realised you were famous: Maybe at the O2 Arena, with 12,000 people. Julian and me were like, ‘What the fuck’s going on, there’s been a mistake.’ When we first came out the applause went on for five minutes and we were like, ‘There’s been some sort of admin error.’ I don’t think you should ever think you’re famous – that’s the beginning of the end.

Last time someone criticised your work: I saw a review for Bunny and the Bull, which Julian and I are in, and they were saying we were good in the film, but they were being critical at the same time, and they said, ‘and it’s a good thing too because after a disappointing third series [of The Mighty Boosh] …’ And I thought, ‘How fucking dare you! The third series isn’t a disappointment; it’s got some classics in it!’ You just never get over criticism – you never get any better at taking it.

First three words your friends would use to describe you: Vain, ridiculous and abstract.

Last time you bought someone flowers: My Mum, for her birthday about a year ago.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning: Often jokes or ideas. I always have a pad and a pen near the bed because sometimes when you just wake up you have your best ideas.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep: I always have music on before I go to bed, so whatever imagery is conjured up by whatever I’m listening to.