Smolder Please!! (hand is up & waving about)

{insert long sigh here}

I dunno why I am so cranky. OK I know why but I don’t wanna get into it or explore it really b/c I know it will pass and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter anyhow.

My boss just came and gave me GOOD news. Apparently the gov’t was going to get rid of all auxiliary employees and replace them with workforce adjustment employees who were recently laid off by our fine gov’t (I wonder why they did not do this when I was laid off...thanks jerks)...I just got the word that b/c I am a previous workforce adjustment laid off employee I won’t get the axe. How perfectly reasonable of them...seriously I am floored b/c it would not be out of the realm of gov’t stupidity to lay off someone who was already laid off and placed to find a job for a new laid off person. That was nice news...Yay for Barb my boss for going to bat for me. She doesn’t seem to think the person I am filling in for is in any hurry to come back so my position is safe so long as she remains enjoying her long term disability time off until December 2010...if she still isn’t back then I would just be extended...if she NEVER comes back (she has to be back by June 2011 then I could score a permanent job BUT I think she will come back in order to not lose it...No one here wants her back so they are all hoping she will just retire early. She was one of those employees who is never caught up, can’t get all the work done etc while as far as I am concerned this is not even a FT position...it could easily be a 4 day per week job.

I LIKE THE SMOLDER...smolder being the rate at which a relationship travels. You have your super spazzy intense shit (FULL ON BLAZING CHEMICAL HOUSE FIRE) that is so blissful and massive you can’t do anything but swim in the flames of it, completely consumed and totally debilitating. I did this this summer and while it is something to be reckoned with it was – for me – not good. I am already an intense personality, add in an unrealistic outside intensity like that and I am a mess. Can’t deal...nothing good comes of that esp when you end up with someone not on the same page and you both have different expectations and agendas. But then you get the smolder...I am loving the smolder. I hadn’t really paid much attention to this sort of thing before but b/c I had a back to back thing that was 100% different from the other the contrast was blazingly obvious. The smolder starts slow...kind of curious... careful stepping...moving along at such a pace that it kind of sneaks up on you when you one day realize that this person’s become very important to you and it was painless getting there...enjoyable even. Healthy. I love the smolder b/c there is so much more to come with smolder when you already feel so satisfied with the smolder you currently have. I am breathing in the smoldery goodness right now...looking fwd to the potential safe house fires and forest fires to come.

I got Henry Rollins Spoken Word show tickets this morning. WOOHOO! What a friggin relief...you know how I get when purchasing tickets....esp pre-sale. I got these a few days early from the Henry Rollins site...they are 5th row center...not bad and 7 bucks cheaper so that made up 4 the fact they charge 19 bucks to fed ex them so it was comparable to waiting a few days and getting them from the venue. Buying 6 made the courier fee invisible. Woot! Excited to see him again, it’s been a few years and I know he has all sortsa new material. Plus i will get to go with Graeme (and Dan & Donna + Arika & Jay)...Something to look fwd to in May alright!