Grown Up Stuff Sucks

You know when you do something you know is right but it sucks complete and utter ass but you gotta do it or you are an idiot and by not doing it you are a fraud and a shithead for misrepresenting yourself only its not just THAT simple of course b/c the issue is full of varying degrees of good and bad and you recognize your own part in it b/c you have learned so much about yourself that it was undeniably a necessary experience but just missing some key ingredients for it to be right which then makes you second guess yourself 394759836459834 x but b/c you just know its the right thing you just do it b/c if you don't its just harder later and more complicated and gawd knows life is complicated enough and really you never know what will happen down the line b/c your crystal ball is in the fucking shop as per usual but it is just not the right time and the planets are not aligned just right and really for all you know you are making a heinous mistake but it is something you have to live with regardless so....fuck. (LONGEST RUN ON SENTENCE OF THE MONTH)

Yesterday I dined at the lezbos place for lasagna...so many jokes to be made about lesbionic lasagna I cant even tell u...saw Shawn the day before, he was manic and spastic after traveling but he will be over again on Monday and I am sure by then he will have calmed down a bit. haha Today I got my shopping done with Lisa and then at the last moment decided to go DT to see if my beloved baby jesus picture was there but it was not...hmmmf so I went and saw WATER FOR ELEPHANTS since I read the book recently...i liked it but as u know books are always richer and deeper. I did enjoy it though and not just b/c Edward the Vampire was in it.

Tomorrow Ayla and I are doing easter potluck dinner at Lisa's...I will bring some sushi and I am sure it will be a laugh fest since Lisa and her family (the ones who don't suck) are quite hilarious. Will be a nice change of pace. Tonight however I shall watch mind numbing movies and veg b/c I am not feeling all that great and just need a chill.