the wheels on the bus...

I have watched the same school bus drive by me every morning for years...I always look at the kids riding on the bus...envious that the bus is usually almost empty except for about 7 kids. Much more pleasant that my school bus experiences growing up...I also always look waiting for one of them to give me the finger or stick their tongues out – none ever have...which endears them to me even though I would feel as endeared towards them if they did flip me the bird or raspberry me. Today I realized how grown up they are getting! One boy in particular really was looking older...you know how their faces change...the grown up teeth grow into the little kid faces making them look momentarily awkward.

Watch – the day one of them sticks their tongue out at me I will be shattered...
I have decided I would like to make out with Damien Rice while "9 CRIMES" is playing in the background the whole time...no idea why I am sharing that...but really why do I share anything on here? Oh that's right – because it is just what I do.

I took a look and realized I have been blogging since 2005...just think once I am dead you all have a fantastic amount of reading to do...OR you can sing hallelujah and be done with it entirely...leaving me to rot away in the bowels of the internet...I occasionally randomly read old stuff and it freaks me out...sometimes I read stuff that I wrote and I don't think it is my writing...too clever...though I wish I could think that of the really terrible writing of mine I read..."ohhh gawd no that cannot be me writing such filth..." I wish Connie had the time to blog...she is a fabulous writer...has a real flare and I enjoy all the snippets she shares with me when she does get a few moments to get busy with a pen and paper (aka fingers to keyboard)...I have in my possession some journaling of hers from many many years ago which is great reading as well...compared to my journaling it is kinda sad. When I journal on paper it is extremely emotional and really dramatic (which makes me howl with laughter after the fact)...in fact I have 1 whole journal dedicated to a few months I was with a certain someone (we can call him Mr Big Cock) a few years back that could be passed off as the diary of a 15 yr old girl. I have considered burning it – not b/c of the content so much as the intensity and redundancy of my dramatics...it is friggin embarrassing...ha. I feel kinda crappy sometimes when I am really pissed at someone and let loose on paper like that I don't always follow up so once I am dead it would seem like I hated the person terribly when in reality that is not the case at all. If I am not thought to be 100% insane when I die I will be afterwards if anyone is bored enough to read through the stack of journaling wonderment I leave behind.

I downloaded a rock trivia game on my phone for when I am on the bus etc...JFC...all the new R&R band questions I am completely clueless about...so irritating...and really how many fuggin Nickelback questions do I have to answer...? or Coldplay...or the Killers...I KNOW SHIT ABOUT THEM and I do not want to know anything more than shit about them...so I might look for a different app. Something that might enrich my brain even. Gawd knows I could use it...I see my brain doing weird things...maybe everyone's does – I have no real idea...perhaps I am Alzheimer's paranoid for no reason...