Home Day

Home from work today...been plagued by this weird nagging gastro-weirdness for nearly a week...not enough to lay you out on the floor but just enough to make you unsure if you should leave the house (hahaha TMI I know)...

Went to visit Kori last night...he needed some snacks and who I am to deny someone snacks when that is their lifeline to sanity...some plain Lays potato chips, a few cans of pepsi and ginger ale and some bulk barn candy. It is the little things in life sometimes that get you through to the next day.
He is really making progress physically, he showed me the hall way he walks for physio...its about 10ish feet...he does it 3x...that's pretty amazing honestly for a guy who can hardly feel his left leg/side at all. He did his own laundry yesterday too...try folding socks with 1 hand...it is a great accomplishment. There is a board that all the patients in rehab have to refer to make sure they get to their appointments the following day...if they misread the board and miss an appointment (physio, perceptual therapy, occupational therapy, etc) that's it...no one goes looking for them and the person misses out on that time slot of therapy...seems a bit harsh to me. There you are with a significant brain injury and you are expected to comprehend these schedule board, write it down and show up for the sessions. Kori can hardly make sense of that board at the moment...I am sure making sense of the board is excellent practice in making those important brain connections but missing out on sessions if you get a time wrong seems like a serious back pedal...last night he had already written it down and Mary asked that I go double check it...he had some right but some wrong and he would have missed 2-3 sessions...Mary calls to remind him to go to sessions so he wont miss any in case he gaps out...with only 8 weeks to garner all the benefits of that therapy it seems like they should really ensure none are missed. I would be eager to hear the reasoning behind that policy...pushing someone twds independence is one thing but jfc...give a guy a break.

With all that said I am not a Dr and know nothing about this and am just projecting a likely uninformed opinion.

I would love to eat potato salad right now.

A series...

I am going to do a series of posts that reflect the all the positive attributes of certain ppl I give a shit about...you know...dedicate a post to one person and just say why I think they are great. I thought that would be really positive and you know I am trying to be more positive this year. I am positive being positive will be positive although positively difficult at least 1 week of the month.

There will be no rhyme or reason to who I write about...it will be strictly on a whim and completely spontaneous...gotta be in the zone for such writing.

Today was shitty headache day though I did make a tasty meal for me and the kidlet...Mary should be here soon after a longgggg day at the hospital with Kori...I took him dinner the other night and also to check out his new digs. He is on the rehab floor now and wow - what a change in vibe. The 6th floor neuroscience nurses were really, really friendly and nice, warm even...rehab nurses - not so much. Quite cold actually, felt the chill the moment I walked in there. It was later verified after seeming some interactions. Different vibe on the ward as well - I mean you have 20 ppl there who are brain damaged in some way, most have mobility issues too so it is a sad sight indeed, many sad stories. Car accidents, a teen hit by a drunk driver, strokes, other random head injuries...It was very apparent to me after Kori introduced a few that he fared EXTREMELY well as far as brain damage goes...while he is not going to be without long lasting effects he maintained his speech, personality etc and that is huge. Physically, he has a ways to go but he is making great progress, took a few steps unassisted even...this is so good to hear...I love it.

Going to have a mini birthday for A. before she leaves this month since she will be gone for her birthday. 20 years old...she exclaimed proudly last night that she was never going to be a stupid teen mom hahahha I had to laugh - she has maintained all along that she was NEVER going to be a teen mom ever...so she feels like a total victor! I sure will miss her sense of humor.

I can see why she wants to go to Thailand.

She has way too much time on her hands right now...she is over thinking the trip...worried about the Bangkok election protests and violence that is happening already. The election is Feb 2...poor planning on their part for not looking into that ahead of time...lesson learned. They will likely leave Bangkok soon after arriving and visit it later once things are a bit more settled post-election. We talked with Joel last night at Tracey's - he is from Thailand, he had a lot of good advice and info to share about places to see and avoid, etc. So nice to spend time with Tracey, Adrienne, Joel and Ashley...Seeing Ashley all grown up (she used to babysit A. - so cute) and watching the pleasant dynamic between the 4 of them...it is really nice. I look fwd to Ash moving back to Victoria once her and Joel decide to have babies etc.

Happy Fartmas & the gift of all gifts...

CEDAR aka SANTA

Christmas is a weird time of year. I always have this odd level of anticipation leftover from childhood. This year is my 1^st Xmas without Miss A. She is up with the family in Powell River…I am staying in Victoria with my sister. Kim (sister) and I are renting a fancy hotel suite Xmas eve, should be fun…food, swimming pool and hot tub. Last night Miss A told me that she was going to The Zoo (PR's scumbag watering hole) with her friend Tayla who is also home for xmas...they were little bastards together as children...looking forward to the stories about the shenanigans though I had a missed call on my cell from Miss A at about 1230 am...not sure what that is about...

This year I got a package in the mail that kind of messed with my head a little…mostly in a nice way. My good friend Deanna passed away earlier this year and she was always quite thoughtful and lovely around the holidays or birthdays. I could always count on a little parcel of goodies from her, personalized and clearly of things she had been collecting with me in mind. This year I received a package from Mike and Jordyn, her husband and daughter…inside was a note from Jordyn saying Deanna’s gift cupboard had a bunch of things that were clearly for me so they wrapped them up and mailed them down. As you can imagine, this gift from the grave was beyond emotional…gnome soap, bottles of Amber Glow incense, a sock monkey in PJs, a book about neurosis’ (haha), etc…you get the picture. It was a lovely scene, Miss A and I blubbering like big dumb babies at the kitchen table. Even the Xmas card was a handpicked gem. Such a wonderful thing for Mike and Jordyn to do…I know the whole family is still drowning in grief, she was the pillar of that family, keeping everything together and her being gone is devastating to every one of them. For them to be able to do this for ME while they still struggle with the loss of her was incredible. It really blew my mind. Feeling extra bad for them all over the holidays. Deanna was the driving force behind xmas in their family, this 1st xmas without her is sure to be extremely difficult.

CEDAR the FART KILLER

It has been a tough year on old Powell River friends…Deanna passed…then Mark Hamilton. He had been battling an evil bastard of a brain tumor for many, many years so his death was almost a bit of a relief in ways…it could not have been pleasant to see him in the condition he was in and I would imagine he was a little battle weary. They made this [CLICK HERE] amazing video tribute to him that sucked me right in, felt like I was watching a movie about his life, did not want it to end. I was a beautiful tribute.

Last week Paul Fairclough died. Like I said, I think my Powell River friends should be a bit worried because it seems a bit epidemic. 43 is not old enough for all this death and carnage.

Things at home are settling in. Mary is still staying here, Cedar arrived yesterday and I can see him being here with her just improved her mood and decreased her stress level immensely. Someone will be bringing her son Austin down xmas eve so they will be having xmas eve and xmas morning here...

Shawn should be here at some point over the next few days...

Xmas will be a pile o' weirdness this year...with Miss A being away and the nasty atom bomb farts that we all have nightmares about that Cedar drops on the regular. ha.

Friday Night Dance Party...and beyond...

Have I mentioned I love Macklemore? I do.

MOI!

What a week...Kori is sill hanging in there...face and head swelling down a bit but still quite bad...which is normal they say. I saw him the other night and regardless of my preparation in my head I was not ready for it...it was very upsetting. Thankfully the blood thinners did not cause any more clots or brain bleeding so at least now there is a bit of relief knowing the blood thinners should ward off any new clots...

Kori has realized the gravity of his situation I think...he told Mary this was a complete nightmare so he clearly gets it. His physio has started...he is able to push back with this left leg, no idea if that means anything long term good or not but it is better than a kick in the arse. As it stands they say he will be in this hospital for 4 mths...then possibly move back hm up to Nanaimo for further treatment and rehab for many more months after...no idea when he can be at home, they mentioned at one point that could be a year away. Hard to say when his brain is still so swollen they can't really know exactly what the damage is and how it will affect him long term. It is clear they are not familiar with strokes in such a young person...lots of 2nd opinions are being gotten b/c I just do not think Dr's see stroke patients this young very often.

Cedar

Mary is hanging in there ok...getting stuff done and extremely busy with Kori every day and getting him to eat...and generally looking after him b/c without someone there all the time he doesn't really get optimal care, that goes for any hospital and most situations. Hospital staff do not have an hour to feed 1 patient...they just don't.

Cedar was here this weekend for a sleep over with Mary...he is quite a sweet boy...and was really needing some mommy time. He is liking his time at his aunt and uncles with his 2 cousins but made it very clear he wanted xmas with his mom...so Mary, Cedar and her 19 yr old son Austin can stay at my place and do xmas since Kim & I will be at the hotel swimming and hot tubing, acting like rich assholes. Then we can come back here xmas day and hang out and make homemade xmas pizzas lol

Twinkling lights and a spinning record...

Met up with Aunty Pam and Uncle Jimmy for dinner at a pub and some music bingo tonight...fun. Pam was our tables personal karaoke star...at the table only...not into a mic thank gawd.

Haven't heard from Mary all day...makes me nervous about Kori's condition. Cannot help but be on high alert about that, it is a delicate situation. 37 is young but I am not finding his young age giving me much comfort...

Kori & Mary

Kori had a mechanical valve put in his heart about 10 yrs ago (due to a birth defect) - since then he has been on blood thinners to avoid clots...the stroke he had this week they figure was a valve clot...it has affected the right
side of his brain leaving his left side paralyzed. That is permanent though with years of rehab and such some ppl regain some of that but it is too early to know right now how that will play out. At one point he was somewhat alert and talking a bit....but his brain kept swelling so they had to do an emergency operation to remove a piece of his skull to relieve pressure on the brain...the piece of skull is not reattached...so he is bandaged with a hole in his skull...the operation and 1 day in a coma did the trick...last night Mary said he was talking better than before, cracked a joke or 2, recognized everyone...such a relief to know that that part of his brain is still there and good thus far...the fear now is more clots b/c they cannot give him blood thinners when he has a damn piece of skull removed...

Mary is hanging in there...scared shitless of course but getting things done...working on stuff she needs to work on while being there for Kori...it sounds like Kori will be hospitalized for well over 6+ mths possibly a year...she has dibs on A's room while she is gone so that will hopefully be a source of comfort not having to worry about where to stay here since they live about 1.5 hrs away in Nanaimo. Cedar is with his aunt and uncle (he is 5) and has no concept of what is really going on...he thinks he is on the longest, most fun sleepover ever...poor little bug. Going to be a hard road for all 3 of them.

Kori & Cedar

Really hoping for the best possible outcome...in the meantime I am educating myself about strokes and trying to be positive and hopeful.

This week was a bad week for my old Powell River friends...Mark lost his battle with cancer after 10+ years...we fell out of touch when I moved to Victoria but he was a good man, very sad loss for his kids, family and friends.

Miss A has landed in California and is safe in her grandparents house tonight...relief relief relief...my mind is spinning like mad right now...with more than 1 thing to worry and fret over it is busy and muddled in my mind...in my next life I want more hair and better coping skills please and thank you.

CEDAR OF CUTENESS COUNTY!

HAHAHA Kori & Mary the new 2009 Solid Gold Dancers!