A Prayer 4 the Near Dead

I am not near dead at all I am just overly dramatic...

I do feel the need to pray to the universe to ensure this cold that is plaguing me (see over dramatic explanation above) will stay a head cold and not a chest cold...I hate the hack...hate hate hate...I hate throwing up from the hack...the minute there is phlegm in my throat im a vomit-er. Sexy I know. I can assure you that my 6 mths with whooping cough about 5 yrs ago was a real treat...walking around with specks of vomit on your shirt at work b/c you threw up on the way (the cold air outside is a huge cough trigger, hence the barfing on the way to work everyday...) That's all I ask of the universe....SPARE ME THE HACK!!! NO HACK!!!

I slept a lot this afternoon...The Matrix was on...I wanna get all snuggled in and watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid tonight....prior to lapsing into a coma from all the cold meds...which I might add is the only good thing about being sick...the fuzzy loveliness of being high off Neo Citran and other various concoctions of meds. Ayla is better now of course and I am quite certain she will be of no help to me at all whilst I am sick despite the face I was doting on her with orange juice, snacks and drugs while she was dieing. Thankless job I tell ya...thankless job.

I would kill for some mucous inducing ice cream right now...or a slurpee...omfg a slurpee on the throat would be orgasmic right now....if Graeme were here and wasn't sick I bet he would go fetch me one...he is nice that way...he wasn't out humping a red headed college girl by the way...

When I am sick I always end up ripping the skin off my bottom lip...wtf is that about...?

I am reading a book about the Reena Virk murder right now...its so far really well done and while the story itself is repulsive and disturbs me deeply as a former high school bully - it is interesting to get some details about all the ppl involved...I am sure reading it will only make me more of a headcase about my own kid and what sorta shit she is involved in...nothing that sordid of course but...its amazing the network of bullshit teenagers can create.

OMFG Sidney you are so adorable its criminal!!
Your Aunty Kelly takes GOOD pictures of you too! Lucky!

OK its time for me to shut up and go snuggle into my blankets with tea and drugs...

Monday can suck my ass...that's my pre-emptive attack on the shittiest day of the week!

i went to school in olympia...ok not really, but i did have sex there

im am freezing cold.

im getting sick.

my lips get this weird smoothness going on when im sick.

im also getting stuffy.

yay.

i could use some cold medication coma sleep right now anyway ...im hoping it wont go full blown cuz i hate being a snot factory.

i was thinking today i seem to have lost a few friends recently...it makes me wonder about myself...in regards to being judgemental.
now, while i did send connie a letter for her birthday, explaining i loved her but i was so mad at her for making self destructive decisions that i wasnt quite able to let it go enough to *pretend* i was fine with it all, i never heard from her after that and likely wont by the looks of it.

im not in a place in my life where i feel the need to chase ppl around for friendship....regardless of how much i love them, miss them and all that good shit...gawd knows im not famous for treating myself right so its kind of fucked up of me im sure but u know...i might treat myself like shit but i dont let other ppl (kid not included, im not allowed to kill her) treat me like shit... and i guess thats just something i cant wrap my head around...

id rather be alone than be with someone i dont trust to do right by me.

it seems so simple...yet...for some it is apparently not.

so yeah i guess im a judgemental fuck....ask me if im losing any sleep over it?

i need a haircut...why i dunno...its so long now it just lays there, like a pile o' hair (haha)

i could experiment and see how long i can grow it...like i do with my pit hair sometimes, see how long i can grow it til i cant stand it anymore...and ruin a brand new razor mowing it all down...

see, if your were single like me u could have FUN with things like this too!!!! gawd yes im the poster child 4 encouraging women to be single in their 30's HA ha HA ha HA

i had the weirdest customer today...stomps in...signs his chq...turns sideways and doesnt face me and wouldnt make eye contact, but spoke VERY loud, like a robot...

"I AM CHANGING MY LAST NAME TO FLETCHER, NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH PERRY, AS IT IS A PERFECTLY FINE AND FUNCTIONAL NAME BUT FROM NOW ON IT IS FLETCHER"

ME: OAKEEDOKEE (im thinking whatever freak...but i dont dare ask for ID cuz he will lose it)

HIM: AND I WILL ALSO NOT BE USING YOUR SERVICES AGAIN AFTER THIS, NOTHING PERSONAL I JUST WONT BE NEEDING TO UTILIZE THEM, THIS IS A PERFECTLY FINE PLACE, DONT GET ME WRONG...

(he is still standing sideways to me and not looking at me....and talking so loud the whole lobby has stopped what they are doing bc hes talking in a mad voice only he isnt mad)

I count his money to him, he wont look at me still...and before he goes he tells me

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PLZ CHANGE MY NAME TO FLETCHER IN THE COMPUTER AND CLOSE MY ACCT, AS I SAID I WONT BE BACK AGAIN, SEE U NEXT MONTH"

HAHHAHAHAHAHA

jesus fuck i was horrified if i started to laugh he would shape shift through the glass and beat me to death.

I did win the ODDEST CUSTOMER OF THE DAY prize though!