Thursday, December 27, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Global Bacon & Eggers - what a hit!
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| These ones live in Ponoka AB with Adele, Anna and Jens. |
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| These ones live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine with Amy, Alex, Olivia and Adam. |
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| ...in Calgary AB with Zombie Barb! |
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| ...in Boston, Mass. with Bob! |
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| ...in Oregon with Dallas! |
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| ...in Victoria @ Amanda & Erin's! |
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| ...in Manitoba @ Tom and Helena's! |
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| MINE! |
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| MINE! |
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| ...in Victoria @ Tanya, Mike and Megs! |
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| ...up in Mill Bay with Kate, Jess, Ethan and Aleah! |
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| ...@ Katrina's in Victoria! |
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| ...in PEI with Maureen, Lane and Asha! |
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| ...all the way in Ireland with Nicola! |
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| ...in frosty Edmonton AB with Tara and the boys! |
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| ...in Powell River BC with Wendy and J-Man! |
Sunday, December 23, 2012
how things change...
Was talking to A. about how music is consumed currently...albums are not generally purchased/downloaded/stolen by most youth - songs are. They miss out on the magic of listening to an entire album and dissecting it, piece by piece, it is quite an intimate experience. My childhood from about 10 yrs old on revolved around this process.
Albums I owned and listened to 347583475834 times remain heavily ingrained in my brain...I didn't realize so until I found a copy of The Babys 'Union Jack' LP...in grade 5 it was a record I got for my bday or xmas or something - that and Pat Benatar's "In the Heat of the Night"...listened to them both to death...so upon finding the Union Jack LP last week in a thrift store I was not so surprised I knew all the words and such after all this time but the one skip on my original record - I was shocked to not hear it on this copy. Sadly all the fake autographs on my copy were not on this copy either...I recall trying to pass them off as legit autographs to my older step sister once and she was looking at me like I was a complete moron to think she was so stupid at 13 to fall for such silliness. Was worth a shot. Anyway...albums like Heart's Dreamboat Annie, Pearl Jam's Ten, Nirvana's Nevermind, etc...life is lesser without these musical experiences...poor kids.
I near fucking killed myself putting up that damn curtain rod that the bldg owner didn't bother to do last week like he said he would. Thanks jerk. I did not want to take the chance i was gunna mess up the wall he just repairs from water damage...but yesterday I had a still mind so it was a good time to venture there...I took my time, read all my drills instructions finally...read the curtain rod instructions...examined my hardware, used a measuring tape...was faced with a dilemma....there were 2 existing holes in the wall already so I utilized them as guides assuming the bldg jerk owner wouldn't want me to make new holes or he would have filled them right? Problem was it made the curtains hang about 2 inches from the floor....do I care about that? I had no idea....so I just used the holes there........SLIGHT REGRET INVOLVED WITH THAT....I would prefer then curtains were an inch lower....and also wish the bracket placement was different and I might move them....and fix the holes.....I also might go buy additional curtain panels....b/c I am so rich after all (eye roll)...they make it darker in the living room which I do not mind much and will love in the summer when the sun is trying to kill me from outside...I will say the drill I got for my bday from Aunty Pam kicks some ass...the 1st bracket I put up I was scared of it....by the 2nd and 3rd I was Mike fucking Holmes man....drilling like a mofo. ha!
My sushi day with Kate and her kids was all messed up yesterday...they cancelled due to illness - I already had every thing prepped and 7 cups of rice cooked so...I scrambled and called Tracey and Adrienne and begged them to come for lunch...made A. some to take to work and then made Lisa about 50 pieces to pick up as take out - worked out well...nothing to toss! Will do it all again tomorrow to take to Dan's place for the xmas eve shindig with A., Donna, Erin and Amanda.
Xmas Day will be quiet....A. and I wanna go see this:
Albums I owned and listened to 347583475834 times remain heavily ingrained in my brain...I didn't realize so until I found a copy of The Babys 'Union Jack' LP...in grade 5 it was a record I got for my bday or xmas or something - that and Pat Benatar's "In the Heat of the Night"...listened to them both to death...so upon finding the Union Jack LP last week in a thrift store I was not so surprised I knew all the words and such after all this time but the one skip on my original record - I was shocked to not hear it on this copy. Sadly all the fake autographs on my copy were not on this copy either...I recall trying to pass them off as legit autographs to my older step sister once and she was looking at me like I was a complete moron to think she was so stupid at 13 to fall for such silliness. Was worth a shot. Anyway...albums like Heart's Dreamboat Annie, Pearl Jam's Ten, Nirvana's Nevermind, etc...life is lesser without these musical experiences...poor kids.
I near fucking killed myself putting up that damn curtain rod that the bldg owner didn't bother to do last week like he said he would. Thanks jerk. I did not want to take the chance i was gunna mess up the wall he just repairs from water damage...but yesterday I had a still mind so it was a good time to venture there...I took my time, read all my drills instructions finally...read the curtain rod instructions...examined my hardware, used a measuring tape...was faced with a dilemma....there were 2 existing holes in the wall already so I utilized them as guides assuming the bldg jerk owner wouldn't want me to make new holes or he would have filled them right? Problem was it made the curtains hang about 2 inches from the floor....do I care about that? I had no idea....so I just used the holes there........SLIGHT REGRET INVOLVED WITH THAT....I would prefer then curtains were an inch lower....and also wish the bracket placement was different and I might move them....and fix the holes.....I also might go buy additional curtain panels....b/c I am so rich after all (eye roll)...they make it darker in the living room which I do not mind much and will love in the summer when the sun is trying to kill me from outside...I will say the drill I got for my bday from Aunty Pam kicks some ass...the 1st bracket I put up I was scared of it....by the 2nd and 3rd I was Mike fucking Holmes man....drilling like a mofo. ha!
My sushi day with Kate and her kids was all messed up yesterday...they cancelled due to illness - I already had every thing prepped and 7 cups of rice cooked so...I scrambled and called Tracey and Adrienne and begged them to come for lunch...made A. some to take to work and then made Lisa about 50 pieces to pick up as take out - worked out well...nothing to toss! Will do it all again tomorrow to take to Dan's place for the xmas eve shindig with A., Donna, Erin and Amanda.
Xmas Day will be quiet....A. and I wanna go see this:
Thursday, December 20, 2012
2 days
I have 2 more work days to get through then off until Jan 2.
The new work space is WEIRD but I did win the lottery in the cubicle dept...so well in fact I am paranoid someones gunna bitch and try to take it from me...I seriously do not have to look at anyone while I am in there...I have a well placed wall and and tucked into a corner, lots of light from the windows...too good!
It's been a bit of a shit show in other areas but nothing horrible. We can't truly unpack until someone comes to affix the shelving to the walls and who knows when that will happen so we are tripping over boxes until well into the new year I am sure. I do know I am not picking up anymore boxes this week...I have right screwed my neck (I have deducted that lifting things is the culprit) again so in order to ensure it doesn't go full blown facked I am favoring the shit out of it.
This year b/c we cannot have ppl over for xmas eve due to the asshole sandwich - A and I are going to get festive at Dan's place with Donna, Erin and Amanda...I will bring sushi. It shall be grand.
Wow - this is a boring post. Better toss some boobies up.
The new work space is WEIRD but I did win the lottery in the cubicle dept...so well in fact I am paranoid someones gunna bitch and try to take it from me...I seriously do not have to look at anyone while I am in there...I have a well placed wall and and tucked into a corner, lots of light from the windows...too good!
It's been a bit of a shit show in other areas but nothing horrible. We can't truly unpack until someone comes to affix the shelving to the walls and who knows when that will happen so we are tripping over boxes until well into the new year I am sure. I do know I am not picking up anymore boxes this week...I have right screwed my neck (I have deducted that lifting things is the culprit) again so in order to ensure it doesn't go full blown facked I am favoring the shit out of it.
This year b/c we cannot have ppl over for xmas eve due to the asshole sandwich - A and I are going to get festive at Dan's place with Donna, Erin and Amanda...I will bring sushi. It shall be grand.
Wow - this is a boring post. Better toss some boobies up.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Today is...
At least you all have stories about "the asshole" to look fwd to.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Hello From Boringtown
It is a Friday night here in the Conky Abode...A. is on the couch eating sherbet watching some heinous show - she has been torturing me all night with hideous TV...She went back to work today...survived but was so tired she skipped a party and opted to stay home and just rest. Awwww.
She was just using the thesaurus (gawd forbid) to try and pick a name for the peppermint lip balm I am making that she is giving to her friends for xmas...I am not sure I have ever seen her use a thesaurus. ha.
I have headphones on to block out the horrible TV show...I am listening to Heart this evening...gawd dammit I love Heart.
Last day at the old office today...not gunna lie - that power pack up yesterday was intense...I had about 10 layers of dried sweat on me by the time I was done. Today was easier - last minute stuff...got to leave at 130 pm. I did not feel at all sad walking out of there for the lat time...mainly b/c the bldg is SO incredibly hot that I was glad to know I wouldn't have to walk into that sauna-like place again...I have come to terms with the fact I have to work with ppl again...especially "the asshole"...worse thing is, on Monday "the asshole" is going to front and center being the office move dictator in the new bldg. I can hear it all now...blabbing orders at people...trying to be funny and failing miserably - fml.
I am suddenly itchy ALL OVER...."the asshole" gives me hives or something. Rude.
Absolutely nothing on the go this weekend and I cannot wait...........free agent......ahhh yes...thank you baby jesus b/c I am gunna need to rest up for next week which will be a complete gong show dealing with "the asshole", trying to unpack enough to resume work while in chaos...I am on holidays after next week so it is going to be nuts getting organized and caught up.
Not too many plans over xmas...Dec 22 I am having Kate and her 2 kids over for a sushi lunch as our pre-xmas get together/hang out...looking fwd to that...Xmas Eve A. and I usually have a group of friends over but seeing as we now are now inflicted with people living above and below us we aren't bothering at all b/c we know they will just be dicks about any noise and wreck our fun so....fuck them. We are meeting friends over at Dan's place for the festivities...we can cab home and be merry as shit without having to listen to ppl whining about their unrealistic concept of apartment life being disturbed. Fuckers. Nothing like paying a grand for rent and not even being able to have friends over for the evening.
Jerri & Zed will be in town at Xmas - Jer's sister just bought a house in Oak Bay so I am hoping that means they will come visit the city more so I can see them more often...I am sure we will see them over the holidays...A. and I are planning to go see a flick Xmas day... THIS IS 40 Looks funny and upbeat...Ultimately I would love to go see Les Miserables but I already know I will be weeping my way through that one b/c the friggin trailer alone makes me all misty...so I am saving that one to go see alone after Xmas.
The cat is being her usual dinkus self and spending her days mangling my Xmas tree and ornaments...yesterday I came home to my egg on the floor and 2 peanut reindeer on the floor with their antlers completely bent to shit. It makes me want to toss her off the balcony...but I won't. I am trying to barricade the tree with presents so she cannot jump up onto the table and get at it but there is a hole....so I am thinking I have to go buy a few more presents to fill the gap and prevent her from having easy access. Last night I was in my room, door closed, watching TV, A. was out in the living room sending me periodic pictures of the cat sitting outside my bedroom door just staring at it...willing it to open...just sitting there...waiting...psycho.
Barb: I guess b/c the tumor grew back faster than Barb's brain could heal from the brain surgery they were not able to start chemo/radiation and had to do a 2nd surgery instead...she is home now for the weekend and I was told chemo starts Monday...I hope so....it seems it will be her only chance to survive this b/c the tumor is so fast growing it is very dangerous. The cancer/tumor she has is Glioblastoma Multiforme At best it seems treatment will only be buying her some time and not much of it either...which is rather depressing. :|
She was just using the thesaurus (gawd forbid) to try and pick a name for the peppermint lip balm I am making that she is giving to her friends for xmas...I am not sure I have ever seen her use a thesaurus. ha.
I have headphones on to block out the horrible TV show...I am listening to Heart this evening...gawd dammit I love Heart.
Last day at the old office today...not gunna lie - that power pack up yesterday was intense...I had about 10 layers of dried sweat on me by the time I was done. Today was easier - last minute stuff...got to leave at 130 pm. I did not feel at all sad walking out of there for the lat time...mainly b/c the bldg is SO incredibly hot that I was glad to know I wouldn't have to walk into that sauna-like place again...I have come to terms with the fact I have to work with ppl again...especially "the asshole"...worse thing is, on Monday "the asshole" is going to front and center being the office move dictator in the new bldg. I can hear it all now...blabbing orders at people...trying to be funny and failing miserably - fml.I am suddenly itchy ALL OVER...."the asshole" gives me hives or something. Rude.
Absolutely nothing on the go this weekend and I cannot wait...........free agent......ahhh yes...thank you baby jesus b/c I am gunna need to rest up for next week which will be a complete gong show dealing with "the asshole", trying to unpack enough to resume work while in chaos...I am on holidays after next week so it is going to be nuts getting organized and caught up.
Not too many plans over xmas...Dec 22 I am having Kate and her 2 kids over for a sushi lunch as our pre-xmas get together/hang out...looking fwd to that...Xmas Eve A. and I usually have a group of friends over but seeing as we now are now inflicted with people living above and below us we aren't bothering at all b/c we know they will just be dicks about any noise and wreck our fun so....fuck them. We are meeting friends over at Dan's place for the festivities...we can cab home and be merry as shit without having to listen to ppl whining about their unrealistic concept of apartment life being disturbed. Fuckers. Nothing like paying a grand for rent and not even being able to have friends over for the evening.
Jerri & Zed will be in town at Xmas - Jer's sister just bought a house in Oak Bay so I am hoping that means they will come visit the city more so I can see them more often...I am sure we will see them over the holidays...A. and I are planning to go see a flick Xmas day... THIS IS 40 Looks funny and upbeat...Ultimately I would love to go see Les Miserables but I already know I will be weeping my way through that one b/c the friggin trailer alone makes me all misty...so I am saving that one to go see alone after Xmas.
The cat is being her usual dinkus self and spending her days mangling my Xmas tree and ornaments...yesterday I came home to my egg on the floor and 2 peanut reindeer on the floor with their antlers completely bent to shit. It makes me want to toss her off the balcony...but I won't. I am trying to barricade the tree with presents so she cannot jump up onto the table and get at it but there is a hole....so I am thinking I have to go buy a few more presents to fill the gap and prevent her from having easy access. Last night I was in my room, door closed, watching TV, A. was out in the living room sending me periodic pictures of the cat sitting outside my bedroom door just staring at it...willing it to open...just sitting there...waiting...psycho.
Barb: I guess b/c the tumor grew back faster than Barb's brain could heal from the brain surgery they were not able to start chemo/radiation and had to do a 2nd surgery instead...she is home now for the weekend and I was told chemo starts Monday...I hope so....it seems it will be her only chance to survive this b/c the tumor is so fast growing it is very dangerous. The cancer/tumor she has is Glioblastoma Multiforme At best it seems treatment will only be buying her some time and not much of it either...which is rather depressing. :|
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Bad Cat
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| Barb |
Then of course the day of deep meaningfulness and reflection about what is truly important in life is marred by some self important narcissist who does little more than irritate me at every opportunity...you know the type...they think they are so interesting and think everyone hangs in their every word and move...and when they realize you don't the drama starts....no time for that - ohhh no. High school ended 25 yrs ago sister - piss off.
Off to the oral surgeon tomorrow to get A's follow up appointment over with...I am reallllly hoping there is no dry socket nightmare in there...how that appt goes will determine whether A goes to work or not...she figures she will go if the dentist doesn't mess with her mouth too badly...she is still in a lot of pain for it being a week later...gawd. Hoping this can ease up so she can resume life again...plus then maybe I could sit on the couch again and watch a tv show ahahhaha
Packing has started at work finally...Friday is our last day in the old office...Saw pics of the new office...I have nice windows...and a fine desk...despite having to be around ppl and THE ASSHOLE of course. Speaking of THE ASSHOLE ~ she is still an asshole. Don't worry - more stories to come about her in the weeks to come.
Dear Cat - stop messing with my tree you Jerk.
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Impending Doom
OK....well we have both survived 5 days of post wisdom teeth extraction...don't know if she can go to work tomorrow or not but the swelling has gone down some even though the pain level hasn't changed much...the percocets are pretty strong but she still can't make the 4 hour mark without the pain taking over and suffering for that last 1.5 hrs. Really hoping tomorrow is a bit better...she did not like the percocets at 1st but has warmed up to them a bit b/c they are much more effective than T3s. Will be glad when she sees the dentist Wed morning and has it all checked out. Hopefully she can open her mouth by then b/c she can't now hahhaa
Back to work tomorrow...not gunna lie...dreading the shit out of it. This whole week really...I will have a bunch of catch up to do which I don't mind...I love to be busy at work but WE MOVE THIS FRIDAY and as far as I can tell no real packing has started b/c we got boxes so late so I dunno how packing up the whole office is gunna work this week on top of being busy. Not in love with this move at all...NOT looking fwd to it in the slightest...I don't think I realized - even despite detesting the bldg we are in - how partial I was to a small, 4 person office situation...the thought of being back on a floor full of people and the inevitable social bullshit & politics and 'THE ASSHOLE' who I dread seeing daily...well - not in love, not in love at all.
Have a told you about the asshole? She is a prize...I have met her a few times in person at different work functions but her main assholeness is via email...she is such a condescending twat to me for no real reason (I am not singled out - she is an equal opportunity asshole to most ppl) part of me looks fwd to fucking with her a little and another part of me dreads the reality that her fucking face is going to be a daily horror for me. This is what I hate about work environments...you can't go grade 9 bully on people without getting in shit even if they earn every penny of it. This means I am forced to use the ~dark ways~ to cause the asshole some discomfort...which is ok but I would rather channel my genius for more positive purposes. Mindfuckery is a hard job even when you are good at it.
The tree is up...the lights are up...it looks very festive here. Our wee tree just fits all my favorite things but I do think I want a bigger one next year. Maybe after xmas I will score one for cheap in preparation.
Back to work tomorrow...not gunna lie...dreading the shit out of it. This whole week really...I will have a bunch of catch up to do which I don't mind...I love to be busy at work but WE MOVE THIS FRIDAY and as far as I can tell no real packing has started b/c we got boxes so late so I dunno how packing up the whole office is gunna work this week on top of being busy. Not in love with this move at all...NOT looking fwd to it in the slightest...I don't think I realized - even despite detesting the bldg we are in - how partial I was to a small, 4 person office situation...the thought of being back on a floor full of people and the inevitable social bullshit & politics and 'THE ASSHOLE' who I dread seeing daily...well - not in love, not in love at all.
Have a told you about the asshole? She is a prize...I have met her a few times in person at different work functions but her main assholeness is via email...she is such a condescending twat to me for no real reason (I am not singled out - she is an equal opportunity asshole to most ppl) part of me looks fwd to fucking with her a little and another part of me dreads the reality that her fucking face is going to be a daily horror for me. This is what I hate about work environments...you can't go grade 9 bully on people without getting in shit even if they earn every penny of it. This means I am forced to use the ~dark ways~ to cause the asshole some discomfort...which is ok but I would rather channel my genius for more positive purposes. Mindfuckery is a hard job even when you are good at it.
The tree is up...the lights are up...it looks very festive here. Our wee tree just fits all my favorite things but I do think I want a bigger one next year. Maybe after xmas I will score one for cheap in preparation.
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| Love these skull lights! |
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| These bacon and egg decorations are the cutest things ever... |
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| Had to make a Mr Poo decoration of course... |
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| The Blow Job Mermaid decoration... |
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| New pickle from Ayla's Grammy...it talks...haha Super cute. |
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| Awww Grandad...xo |
Thursday, December 06, 2012
sweet mother of god...
I am burning all my nursing school applications...I am not a great nurse...I take good care but it stresses me out...poor A. had for 4 wisdom teeth removed Wed. and the drama was not lacking. She decided b/c she was sick with a cold she would just get the oral sedation for it...so we get there and they listen to her lungs and tell us oral sedation only...fine...that's a nice xmas present b/c its only 82.00 as opposed to 300.00 for IV sedation....Lisa and I had fun watching her get stoned on ativan in the waiting area...she went in and we went to fill the Rx...I guess when she got in there she freaked out to the point where they had to IV sedate her (that's right folks, I had to pay for both haha)...she woke up completely fugged up of course...was quite funny and sad, crying a lot. She was whacked out...had to wheelchair her out to the car....she can't even recall the ride home hahaha She cried most of the day, kept apologizing for freaking out and getting IV sedation aka "I'm sorry I'm a pussy" (honestly...it is what it is - I am glad it is over and she will be fine)...the crying was to do with the sedation I think...when I wake up out of surgery I am always bawling my head off...anyway - Day 1 was not awesome at all...Day 2 and 3 are supposed to be the worst...today was not great, lots of nausea...very sore and face is looking like a chipmunk now. Ugh...Hopefully by Monday she will feel significantly better.
Nice visit with the fam last weekend...crazy as always but Maddie sure loved getting some time in with A. Maddie just idolizes her...it is cute...it is like how A. was towards Maggie when she was little.
Nice visit with the fam last weekend...crazy as always but Maddie sure loved getting some time in with A. Maddie just idolizes her...it is cute...it is like how A. was towards Maggie when she was little.
Sunday, December 02, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Yes!
Posted by Barb's husband last night:
Hi all - Barbara had a successful surgery. Apparently she talked through the whole procedure. The surgical staff all had smiles on their faces after the procedure. They got as much of the tumor out as possible - it seemed encapsulated - but of course, not all of it - scraping out more could lead to permanent damage to her speech (which is apparently and thankfully intact).
Hi all - Barbara had a successful surgery. Apparently she talked through the whole procedure. The surgical staff all had smiles on their faces after the procedure. They got as much of the tumor out as possible - it seemed encapsulated - but of course, not all of it - scraping out more could lead to permanent damage to her speech (which is apparently and thankfully intact).
This journey is just beginning. Next - it
will take about a week to get back the pathology results which will
reveal whether the tumor is malignant or not. Since it is something
that originated in the brain and given its location and shape it has
more odds of being malignant than not. The pathology results will also
reveal its nature, that is whether it is type one (slow growing) up to
type four (most aggressive). That will then determine the specific
course of radiation and chemo required over 5-6 weeks. The neurologists
will examine her tomorrow to determine risks of seizures, which may
become an issue (in about 10% of cases). The good news is that Barb was a
solid trooper through the procedure and pulled through this first major
ordeal of the adventure thanks in many ways to the support, good
wishes, and prayers of her friends and the work of the "soldiers"
(surgical team) here at Toronto West Hospital. I am waiting to see her
as I write this in her room. Hopefully she can come home in a couple of
days.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Fack
Last night was a complete pile of retardation. Funniest story to tell but no time...from now til Wed its going to be go go go no time for shit all...
A. comes home Tuesday...eagerly...she sounds a bit desperate to resume her quiet life of solitude and independence...she came by her need for that honestly I guess...cannot fault her for it.
JOHNNY CAKES at The Reef will change your life.
The End.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Raw & Real
Nice hanging with the Laal/Campbell/Benner crew for Adrienne's birthday last night...ate the best steak at 5th Street Bar & Grill and then endured an agonizing (but amusing) game of NHL Monopoly back at her place. Poor Joel – he had the title of "greedy Asian businessman" bestowed upon him early in the game...every property he bought up just reinforced this stereotype and in the end – he did not even win b/c he spent all his money hahahaha So fun.
Talking to Barb a bit....colon cancer ruled out and so was heart/lung cancer...this is good....as if brain cancer is not enough! There is some internal bleeding they cannot explain thus far though...Her speech is a bit improved due to the steroids I would imagine but she is definitely not herself...for instance – this morning at 5 am (8 am in Toronto) she was elated and overexcited almost...and well aware of it – she thinks it's something to do with the tumor b/c its out of character and certainly not appropriate considering what's going on.
What a heavy subject though...she is so blown away by the response and feedback and support she is getting from the people in her life...she said the words shared by her nephew that she has known her whole life just completely blew her mind...she had no idea how she has touched people.
Happy Thanksgiving to Ayla and her peeps in the US today...they should be having a fantastic dinner this evening. She is having a nice time despite a few boundary issues with her dad. It doesn't surprise me really...he has consistently placed his own needs and requirements ahead of hers so the fact he will not respect her wishes to not be hugged every 5 mins is not really unexpected. I just shake my head...it has been really nice (not gunna lie) to have eliminated that all from my life...doesn't erase existing resentment (if only) but it is a relief after so many years to not have to be subjected to his ignorance and stupidity. She seems to be enjoying the visit with the grandparents and uncle/cousin though so that's great...she sure was excited to see them all. She said it was so cute how her gramma walked her to the track so she could go for a run...I teased her about gramma following her in the car as she ran on the street to ensure her safety...ha!
Also a Happy Tofurky Day to my Benedetti Friends...they made me a tofurky & trimmings when I was there last year...it wasn't revolting!!!!! Hahaha I really loved the gesture and the time spend prepping such a vegan-y meal...was really nice. I enjoy their company too which is always in short supply...really wanna get some more Michelle time in...
Talking to Barb the other day about journals...she is a diarist as am I...and I have often wondered what to do with my full journals b/c let's face it...if you are at all truthful to yourself you journal about things that bother you and hurt you and piss you off....as well as good stuff...and that pissed off stuff can be a hard read for the person it is about upon your demise and no longer guarded journals being read by others. Especially your 'secrets'...those secrets that are not necessarily meant for minors or certain people...it can cause a serious dilemma...Burn em? Bury em? Hide em? My vote was to leave them with a trusted person to doll out to her children once her kids were older adults and not teenagers...to me it would be a grand travesty to let that history and perspective go unread...
Perhaps that is just me though...and why I love reading autobiographies...I love connecting with ppl on a genuine level...it is a rare occurance even if it is just ONE WAY by reading something they just barfed out of their mind onto paper....raw and real.
Talking to Barb a bit....colon cancer ruled out and so was heart/lung cancer...this is good....as if brain cancer is not enough! There is some internal bleeding they cannot explain thus far though...Her speech is a bit improved due to the steroids I would imagine but she is definitely not herself...for instance – this morning at 5 am (8 am in Toronto) she was elated and overexcited almost...and well aware of it – she thinks it's something to do with the tumor b/c its out of character and certainly not appropriate considering what's going on.
What a heavy subject though...she is so blown away by the response and feedback and support she is getting from the people in her life...she said the words shared by her nephew that she has known her whole life just completely blew her mind...she had no idea how she has touched people.
Happy Thanksgiving to Ayla and her peeps in the US today...they should be having a fantastic dinner this evening. She is having a nice time despite a few boundary issues with her dad. It doesn't surprise me really...he has consistently placed his own needs and requirements ahead of hers so the fact he will not respect her wishes to not be hugged every 5 mins is not really unexpected. I just shake my head...it has been really nice (not gunna lie) to have eliminated that all from my life...doesn't erase existing resentment (if only) but it is a relief after so many years to not have to be subjected to his ignorance and stupidity. She seems to be enjoying the visit with the grandparents and uncle/cousin though so that's great...she sure was excited to see them all. She said it was so cute how her gramma walked her to the track so she could go for a run...I teased her about gramma following her in the car as she ran on the street to ensure her safety...ha!
Also a Happy Tofurky Day to my Benedetti Friends...they made me a tofurky & trimmings when I was there last year...it wasn't revolting!!!!! Hahaha I really loved the gesture and the time spend prepping such a vegan-y meal...was really nice. I enjoy their company too which is always in short supply...really wanna get some more Michelle time in...
Talking to Barb the other day about journals...she is a diarist as am I...and I have often wondered what to do with my full journals b/c let's face it...if you are at all truthful to yourself you journal about things that bother you and hurt you and piss you off....as well as good stuff...and that pissed off stuff can be a hard read for the person it is about upon your demise and no longer guarded journals being read by others. Especially your 'secrets'...those secrets that are not necessarily meant for minors or certain people...it can cause a serious dilemma...Burn em? Bury em? Hide em? My vote was to leave them with a trusted person to doll out to her children once her kids were older adults and not teenagers...to me it would be a grand travesty to let that history and perspective go unread...
Perhaps that is just me though...and why I love reading autobiographies...I love connecting with ppl on a genuine level...it is a rare occurance even if it is just ONE WAY by reading something they just barfed out of their mind onto paper....raw and real.
Monday, November 19, 2012
and onward we go...
Spoke to Barb the other night...she couldn't sleep...hospital noises. Not just run of the mill hospital noises either...people dying type of noise. Barb was fixated on a man across the hall, moaning his last moans while his family held vigil around him. It went on for a long while. Hard to maintain hopefulness when you are looking into the face of death yourself and hearing it just across the hall all night long.
Her speech was really affected by the tumor/brain swelling. I was finishing her sentences b/c she could not find most of the words she needed...steroids being one of them. She is on steroids to try to ease the swelling as the tumor is very close to a nerve they do not want more pressure on. She could not say steroids for the life of her...it was clearly affecting her reasoning and I am not gunna lie...it was a total mindfuck b/c that is not how she is. She is very articulate and well spoken...
Today she is getting barrage of tests...a CT scan being one of them...hoping they can provide her and her family with some concrete data to work with...sometimes not knowing is the worst...though I am afraid of the truth...she was saying her family history is riddled with cancer...
Her speech was really affected by the tumor/brain swelling. I was finishing her sentences b/c she could not find most of the words she needed...steroids being one of them. She is on steroids to try to ease the swelling as the tumor is very close to a nerve they do not want more pressure on. She could not say steroids for the life of her...it was clearly affecting her reasoning and I am not gunna lie...it was a total mindfuck b/c that is not how she is. She is very articulate and well spoken...
Today she is getting barrage of tests...a CT scan being one of them...hoping they can provide her and her family with some concrete data to work with...sometimes not knowing is the worst...though I am afraid of the truth...she was saying her family history is riddled with cancer...
Saturday, November 17, 2012
FACK!
The lovely Barb had some terrible news to share yesterday...what she thought were anxiety attacks and such has turned out to be brain cancer and possibly lung cancer as well. She is only 45. She has 3 teenage kids and a husband - they just moved from Vancouver to Toronto a few months ago...she is currently hospitalized, figuring out what stage she is at and how to proceed I would imagine.
Sure makes you wonder why the hell we all get uptight about stupid shit in light of such a shocking revelation. I don't even know what to say about it really...I am quite shell shocked by the news...especially b/c we are close in age and it is so friggin random - how can you not be rattled by it...in addition to feeling a lot of fear for her well being.
Fack.
Fack.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Up at 6 am on a Saturday...?
What the hell...disappointing to say the least. I blame the fact I watched the Theoren Fleury documentary before bed. Such an unsettling life. Though I did make some interesting observations while watching him...let me back up and explain why I have any interest at all in a hockey players life story...When I went to A.E. Peacock High School in Moose Jaw SK circa 1985 (Grade 9) Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury were students there as well at that time. We were not pals or anything, Sheldon was in my grade but Theo was a few years older. They were the "hockey kids"...had no impact on my life at all...but knowing later what they were both enduring during that same time is nothing short of disturbing.
I know how truly lost and fucked up I was at that age...cannot imagine dealing with what they were. Watching Playing With Fire
last night was really sad...clearly Fleury has come a long way - he is sober, less destructive and open about his struggles - but I kept focusing on the fact his hostility level is still quite high (says Jen the Angry Lunatic) and he often does not take responsibility for his own shit. Not a coincident, his parents don't either. His father was a drunk, his mom was a pill addict - all his mom said was is it was not her fault b/c she was on the pills and his dad blathered on about being drunk but talked more about himself and what a great hockey player he would have been if only he wasn't drunk all the time. I am sure they are sorry for how it all went down but they looked like pathetic parents in this documentary. Fleury stated he had apologized to everyone he hurt...but that would be followed up by the mother of his 1st son and highschool girlfriend crying and describing horrible abandonment and horrific drug addled parenting on his part...and her never receiving her apology. I think she is still waiting for one. Sorry to say it won't make her feel much better. Nothing wounds you like the blatant disregard your child's father subjects upon them. Layers and layers of guilt, regret, anger and resentment...I will go to the grave wishing A's father hits and rots the grave 1st just so I can revel in it somewhat. Not a lie.
While I cannot help but harbor huge amounts of empathy for Fleury, I cannot say I like him very much, which surprised me. His ego is still that of a young competitive man - being 'genuinely' humble would serve him well in life...that is the case for all of us...he tries it but I just don't find it to be legit (he does admit he is extremely competetive which is probably how someone of his stature played such great hockey - pure determination and pitbull ferociousness). But really...it is no secret that sort of abuse is soul destroying and trying to rebuild your soul in your 40's is not easy or always successful. By all accounts he is trying to live a real, straight and narrow life and I applaud him for all he has managed to overcome. I want to like him. I do...Once I read the book that I just picked up a while ago I will have a better idea I guess. I would imagine that the book is going to be a lot more intense than a 1.5 hour documentary.
Bought myself a used (and cheap!) PVR from someone through work...not gunna lie...it is nice to click a few buttons and set the thing to record your favorite shows digitally so you don't have to inconveniencece yourself to watch them at times when you have other things to do. Now I have 3 VCRs to get rid of....ANYONE NEED A VCR?!?!?!
Hanging out with Kate today...and have a long list of stuff to get done this weekend...someone win the lotto and buy a condo with a pool I can rent from them please.
I know how truly lost and fucked up I was at that age...cannot imagine dealing with what they were. Watching Playing With Fire
last night was really sad...clearly Fleury has come a long way - he is sober, less destructive and open about his struggles - but I kept focusing on the fact his hostility level is still quite high (says Jen the Angry Lunatic) and he often does not take responsibility for his own shit. Not a coincident, his parents don't either. His father was a drunk, his mom was a pill addict - all his mom said was is it was not her fault b/c she was on the pills and his dad blathered on about being drunk but talked more about himself and what a great hockey player he would have been if only he wasn't drunk all the time. I am sure they are sorry for how it all went down but they looked like pathetic parents in this documentary. Fleury stated he had apologized to everyone he hurt...but that would be followed up by the mother of his 1st son and highschool girlfriend crying and describing horrible abandonment and horrific drug addled parenting on his part...and her never receiving her apology. I think she is still waiting for one. Sorry to say it won't make her feel much better. Nothing wounds you like the blatant disregard your child's father subjects upon them. Layers and layers of guilt, regret, anger and resentment...I will go to the grave wishing A's father hits and rots the grave 1st just so I can revel in it somewhat. Not a lie.
While I cannot help but harbor huge amounts of empathy for Fleury, I cannot say I like him very much, which surprised me. His ego is still that of a young competitive man - being 'genuinely' humble would serve him well in life...that is the case for all of us...he tries it but I just don't find it to be legit (he does admit he is extremely competetive which is probably how someone of his stature played such great hockey - pure determination and pitbull ferociousness). But really...it is no secret that sort of abuse is soul destroying and trying to rebuild your soul in your 40's is not easy or always successful. By all accounts he is trying to live a real, straight and narrow life and I applaud him for all he has managed to overcome. I want to like him. I do...Once I read the book that I just picked up a while ago I will have a better idea I guess. I would imagine that the book is going to be a lot more intense than a 1.5 hour documentary.
Bought myself a used (and cheap!) PVR from someone through work...not gunna lie...it is nice to click a few buttons and set the thing to record your favorite shows digitally so you don't have to inconveniencece yourself to watch them at times when you have other things to do. Now I have 3 VCRs to get rid of....ANYONE NEED A VCR?!?!?!
Hanging out with Kate today...and have a long list of stuff to get done this weekend...someone win the lotto and buy a condo with a pool I can rent from them please.
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
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