saw some dong this weekend...

Pretty fun weekend...so much laughing...gawd you forget how fun your family is until they are around. Everyone's beating the door down to the bathroom to avoid peeing their pants laughing so hard. Pam almost rocketing a Wii remote through the TV was a highlight...Pam & Maggie shop until they drop but the thing is they never drop...they are immortal vampire-like shoppers while I am not in love with shopping...very mortal and generally avoid shopping whenever I can...their fun company though is what keeps it tolerable...the quesadilla maker they bought us has not rendered my boob wounded though so this is good. I have eaten quesadillas every day since they left...no injury...which is good b/c the waffle steam burn is really ugly now...no pain just a scabby piece o' titty bacon. Single IT IS fellas...single it is.

Saturday nights venture into Big John Bates land was...well...inferior to past ventures. The venue – Soprano's – sucks the balls of monkeys, donkeys and llamas. Soprano's is a douche bag bar and the problem with events such as these is the douche bag crowd is still there when a cool act is booked so it is a drag to have to be in the presence of such douchebaggery when you are going to see someone great play. When BJB plays Lucky Bar the vibe is TOTALLY different b/c the douche bag element is removed entirely...plus the stage is set up so that the band is showcased...at Soprano's – not blocked out by the retarded drunks flailing up front. Even Logan's would have been better...ugh – I hate you Soprano's. I bought a few cds that I have been dying to own though so I am now able to get my BJB fix...it appears the Voodoo Dollz portion of the show is done now though which is too bad as I quite enjoy that but the new sound on the new EP I picked up with Brandy Bones doing more vocals is pretty hot shit. While perusing the internet for BJB info I read he was the original singer for that Canadian mental band Annihilator...omfg I howled at that...I checked out an old pic of him from the time and that was amusing...as are most 80s/90s metal personas. I like where he went with his career...he has seen the world doing what he loves...cannot get much better than that.

We have a new fridge at work...it has a freezer. This will FOR CERTAIN change my life...ICE WATER at work...ice cold gel packs to combat the heat...freezies...I can bring in frozen stuff I make at home to eat for lunch at work without the bother of doing it daily...omg SO AWESOME...it is the small stuff in life that keeps me jolly.

MAGIC MIKE: Horny Lisa & I went to see it... and really it was not as useless and cheesie as I expected...The visual effects (haha) were fantastic – I mean really...what is better than a buncha hot guys who can dance gyrating around without the horror of having to see their penis? I have always preferred female strippers...mainly b/c having to see the goofy appendage of male strippers ruins the whole fun of it in my opinion...they should keep their junk covered at all times. It was a decent movie though – will it change your life – NOPE...but it isn't gawd awful either...and if you like hot guys dancing around – you will not be disappointed.

I saw more wiener in the movie WANDERLUST which I watched last night via the nudist in the movie was exposed a lot...so his dong is forever etched into the bowels of my mind...in fact the scene where the group of nudists run away from a careening vehicle is completely horrifying....be warned. I will say though that the scene where Paul Rudd is looking in the bathroom mirror trying to pump himself up to sleep with the resident hottie...I DIED...I was DYING...I laughed so hard...hysterically could not stop watching him go on and on saying the stupidest shit on earth in the most stupid ways...that scene...jfc...slayed me. Not sure if it will make anyone else on earth laugh like I did but....what else is new?! http://youtu.be/K-Cjn7JMqgE I just watched 4 seconds of it and had to turn it off b/c I was starting to laugh so hard....

so weird

When I have had "friends" sleep over in the past I don't usually SLEEP...I lay there...wishing I could sleep but distracted that someone is IN my bed, taking up my space and preventing me from being in a coma...im a light sleeper so getting to sleep with any distractions is not always easy - which is why I sleep with the radio on, it helps me filter out any other noises that would otherwise keep me awake. Apparently the granny/old age need for sleep wins out over the neurosis's in my head now b/c this week I slept like a dead donkey...like full on woke up with blanket and pillow marks imprinted into my face, super attractive stuff....and as I feared I do indeed make weird noises when I sleep....only I don't care anymore. lol

Back to reality today...work. Ugh. My boss is away so i go in to meet the other 2 ppl in the office 4 the 1st time...that should be pleasantly awkward..."Hi I'm Jen - I am here for the day, know next to nothing and likely have no access to a computer terminal and cant really do shit all..."

G is back home and not in love with that whole concept...I understand it as it is like my aversion to living in Powell River...only his aversion is Campbell River.

Super Mario Bros on the Wii kept us busy the last few days...oh my gawd there were times I thought I might pull out a flame thrower  and torch the whole place I would get so mad...dieing in the same spot OVER AND OVER....I had forgotten the demoralization of that...but then when u make it its like giving birth and you forget that it took 30 tries HAHAHAHA

I hear Matt Good is getting remarried soon....

tea pot

DECEMBER 21 2009

I drank tea out of a teapot yesterday at A & E's house and decided to drag my tea pot out b/c it tasted so good.....
I am making tea in it now...I am a little worried b/c I washed it cuz its been up on the top shelf for years unused but its dark in here and I just woke up....so I don't think it was the best washing.....hopefully there will be no soap flavor in my tea...or floaty dead moths.

Gawd I love sleep...I don't sleep LONG generally {I can get by on 5-6 hrs a night for some time} but fuck I love just waking up on my own (aka no alarm blaring hideously) without having to jump up and get ready 4 work...me and the rest of the humans in the world....not unique that way.

Today I go to BC Pension Corp to do some testing for an hour to determine if I am too retarded to work there...seeing as how the office dohdoh said it was easy I am not too worried about it...its just 1 hour. The testing I do Tuesday for something else is 2 hrs and I have done it before and its a little more serious...I am not fond of typing tests. I am not a great typist AT ALL...so typing tests being that they are timed and recording your accuracy stress me the fuck out...the last one I took informed me that the usually 2 spaces after a period were NOT correct, there should only be 1 space...yeah TRY TO DO THAT DURING A TEST WHEN U HAVE ALWAYS DONE 2 SPACES! lol A stenographer I will never be hahaha

Oh this tea is divine...
I bought the tea MG drinks...(Yes I realize how incredibly adolescent that sounds and is)...called Yorkshire tea...its pretty decent...its pricey though so I dunno if I will always have some in the house....Yesterday on my travels with my favorite lesbos to the anarchy book store...I forget what its called....anyhow..I found a copy of UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry...yes that's right MG recommended it as a read...DON'T JUDGE ME! I value his opinion!

Graeme is sword crazy right now...I blame the Wii...he was eBay-ing for Wii paraphernalia and someone in Hong Kong used Wii instead of WWII in their ad or something and he stumbled upon a store full of katana japanese swords...well omfg...it is now the 2nd coming of christ waiting for his purchase to arrive so he can analyze it to death...its funny to see him so INTO something...he is lucky he missed my recent MG freak out episode as the concert approached...it is kind of the same obsessive, freak of nature behavior...what I like best is he isn't even trying to hide his freakness...

OK I did it..I opened up my presents from my aunty pam already...the same day she left them...whatever - it is a perk to being a grown up...I don't like opening presents xmas day bc I like taking pics of Ayla....(that's my excuse - screw off haha)...anyhow we now have a 3rd Wii controller and nunchucker and the Super Mario Bros game....SAWEEEEETTT!!!

JEN THE INGRATE TALK:
Parcels from my mom arrived. All I will say is I think my mom thinks Ayla is still 8 yrs old...Ayla was 8 when we moved from PR and I seriously think my mother still sees her as an 8 yr old kid judging by the box of weirdness she sent.

comments

December 20 2009

1st off...the new comments...ugh. Sorry. Haloscan was taken over by JS Kit apparently and I had the choice to switch to JS Kit and maintain all previous comments or not do so and lose them all if I went back to the blogspot commenting feature. I am not finding JS Kit user friendly WHATSOEVER but I think I tweaked it to be as simple as it can be for commenters so I encourage u to go in and fart around with them please.

Been a really productive weekend...Friday went out with Donna to Logan's for some punk rock goodness. Didn't feel like being there once I got there but the mosh pit was so entertaining I stayed til 1 am...haven't seen a pit like that in a long while...Andrea and her tube top even got in there....saw her hit the floor once and the rest of the time she was a 1 handed mosher, using her one hand to try and keep her tube top up...I did witness it getting yanked down once and the fact it was only once is a true miracle.

Saturday I was outta the house by 8 am with Lisa running 3847583745 errands...got a lot of shit done and all by noon.
I am still pissed off that my asshole cat took my ear buds off the kitchen table and chewed them up...dick move cat....total dick move. No catnip 4 u at xmas u little jerk. Was not happy to replace them since I just got them and they aren't cheap.

The rest of Saturday I was cleaning...Aunty Pam and Uncle Jim came over for a short visit (the cat allergy is a real bitch if they dont medicate prior to coming over)...was a nice visit, won't be seeing them for xmas so it was nice they were able to come by. Oh by the way the box of Purdy's chocolate is picked clean of anything I like....and I swear its the most sugar/chocolate I have eaten since July....NO ONE EVER BRING PURDY'S MILK CHOCOLATE OVER HERE! EVER!!!

James Franco was on SNL last night and I was conflicted bc Pearl Jam was on Austin City Limits for fucks sake at the same time for half of the show so PJ won out that 1st half hour...what a great venue for a band like that....and on TV, Id like to see it all as I missed the 1st half hour. HERE IT IS (its a whole hour!!) Fuck yeah 20 yrs later and they still make me swoon. Fuck.

Ayla's being a teenager these days....I will leave it at that. Gawd I hate it when school's out...HATE IT...I used to like it now it just means party time for all the little assholes and it irritates me.

Monday I have "testing" to do up at the BC Pension Corp for a job....Tuesday I have testing to do for the clerical pool...I am pretty much being a realist about this situation and being that there are only 6 working days to be placed it wont happen and I think I am on my own for getting a job...we are not the only ones unplaced of the total that were laid off either I just found out so I don't feel near as ripped off...it is rather pathetic all around b/c there are empty positions but all the ministries don't work together (SHOCKING!) so the organization of getting anything workable is impossible. I don't feel fucked up about the lay off part of this all, shit happens, its part of life but this PROCESS....fuck it makes me want to sue someone...and I am NOT that kind of person...I am really bitter about every fucking union due I have ever paid I will tell u that much b/c they aren't doing SHIT for me right now.

10 days til G comes for NY's eve...he he he It is gunna be Wii showdown time let me tell you...Wii Boxing...and G thinks his fancy new Wii boxing gloves are gunna make him conquerer of all...Well...we will just see about that won't we....says the angry grrl who loves punching ppl. I am planning on making a fruity alcohol ridden fruit punch...and having a very good time this NY's with my lovely boy Graeme so providing he is still speaking to me by then after our argument about the SPARKLY VAMPIRE/PEDOPHILE topic it will be all good.

Xmas dinner stuff is all ready...we are NOT doing turkey....this year its chicken cordon blue...with mashed taters, gravy, stuffing, vegs and fresh biscuits...Ayla is in charge of dessert...she will either make brownies or tarts. :o)
Simple and easy and I am hoping she will hang out and have some fun with me...Wii fun or card game or whatever...

ohhh yeah

Nov 23 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE ROBERT!

This was my morning:

Me: Ayla, it's 7 am, you better get up.

Ayla: Fuck you. I hate you.

Oh yes...not a day goes by where I don't ask myself why I thought being a parent was a good idea for myself...not a day. You know...b/c it is such an enriching and love filled experience...why wouldn't I revel in the beauty and lovingness of it? Why wouldn't I bask in the glory and pride of my lovely little Ayla who possesses not one shred of consideration for anyone aside from her and her friends? Ohhh yes...I love being a parent. It is very satisfying to sit back and think of all the things you could have done with your life but no...parenting seemed like the right way to go...the selfless sacrifice...such a wise choice Jen...such a wise choice...its gunna be a longgggggggggggg week with a kid that has no bedroom door.

On the up side...Shawn and I are going to see NEW MOON this afternoon...why u ask? Well...Shawn is gay so that's his excuse...but me I don't have one...I am just an idiot...lol I suspect this sequel is gunna be leaps and bounds better than Twilight...I like the story but thought the movie wasn't all that shit hot for what it could have been. Done worry, I wont start buying Edward Cullen vampire paraphernalia, don't worry. (I know you worry)

BRA TRAUMA: ok so wearing bras that really do the job is like being impaled by under wire consistently for the day...I am not sure I will make a whole day of wearing an under wire bra....so I am returning them.... :o( WHATS A GRRL GOTTA DO TO GET A COMFORTABLE BRA FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD!?!?!?!

Wii boxing is the shit! Between that and tennis and bowling I actually have sore arms today!! NOT KIDDING!

Wii Fun!

Nov 22 2009

OMFG I love Wii Boxing....Cannot wait for Ayla and I to play so we can beat the shit out of each other and the cops don't have to be involved.

WW3 shall commence here shortly...Jen & Ayla are not besties right now...not in the slightest...we seem to have a pattern.....every 3ish mths we have to have a giant blow out...its ugly and gross and then a fresh start...makes me mad b/c its so very unnecessary...in the past (this is an old pattern, going back to when she was small really) I can recognize my part in it, if I am having a bad time and really am short on coping skills or what have you...but more and more I see myself desperately trying to avoid and deflect these spells of chaos only to end up in a place where it has to blow up...its like a reset button for us...but so friggin exhausting. I have done a lot since summer time to change my behavior and my own *neurosis's* reactions etc....and expecting civility in return for it is too much to expect I guess...I find it all quite frustrating...the lack of consideration in general...and the blatant disregard for me or my feelings/position on everything. I know I know...shes a kid and kids nowadays are ignorant assholes and we should expect anything more of them BUT I do and I cant help that...it is like living with a roommate who I don't like, who doesn't clean up, who doesn't pay rent, who eats all the food and never buys any groceries and is a general rude jerk all the time & is only ever nice when they need something...IMAGINE LIVING WITH THAT!!!!! hahaha

Ya ya woe is me...
Whatever. I can vent if I want, its my blog!

Kim & Rob are home...back in their groove...sure was good having them here...the cat is still lamenting over Rob's absence...I think she is in love with him & his armpit smell.

The Crazy Kel & Mel show last night was something else....Donna, Andrea, Kelly and Mel were 4 funny wenches last night...I laughed HEARTILY! I gotta say they were disgusting as well and could shame many men with their antics...I am not allowed to post the pictures in order to maintain the good reputations of certain individuals involved but take my word for it....it was a shit show!

I do not enjoy sitting in the meat seats at the strip bar...I prefer to be back so I can observe effectively...I will say Andrea and her antics had most men in the place looking at her all night and not the strippers....if Andrea gets weary of her govt job she should consider dancing. lol

I am still cringing over Donna licking a 5 dollar bill....*barf*

I am not good at cab hailing....just thought I would air that dirty little secret of mine. I know...I am perfectly flawed!

I have had a headache all day that defied T3's...RUDE.

Look at this poor dude...we were at the Cambie and a car pulled away and this guy was laying there all dead :(
Looks like he was dragged under the car and then fell off the bottom...
If I owned the Cambie id taxidermy that little guy and make it the bar mascot! THAT'S WHAT ID DO!!!!

spittle

Well, thank gawd that is over. Job interviews are not usually the end of my world...I don't get too effed up over them aside from the normal discomfort of having to be social in general...and committing fakery (let's face it, it's all pure fakery)...fakery is a quality I despise and when I am socially forced to commit it I hate myself but...such is life...the nature of the beast. This interview was quick (makes me slightly suspicious that they already have their minds made up...?) and I wasn't asked any questions pertaining to how my previous skills may relate to the ones required for this position. I had questions though, one being TRAINING.

My short time in gov't has taught me one thing...gov't doesn't train you for shit. Sadly, for this position there is NO training...you will be walking into it virtually blind, u will get a few mornings of ppl sitting with you and yep, you pretty much are left flailing. I have absolutely no doubt I could do this job (glorified secretary) even without training I will pick it up and own it but...I am not gunna cry if Jim or the other person going for it gets it AT ALL...in fact I called Jim and gave him a heads up about how to prepare and told him to DO WELL PLEASE GAWD PLEASE DO WELL AND GET THE JOB haha

**I was informed that the other person interviewing went before me and I think they picked him already which is why my interview was short and honestly he would be way better suited for this position so unless Jimmy blows him outta the water i think Terry's got it...WHEW!**

With that over with I can concentrate on my company, travels and such for my next week off...

woohooo! I hope Ayla isn't a raging EMO kid the whole trip up island....gawd...I am gunna make her have fun even if it kills me! The driving will kill her I am sure but...whatever....for as often as we do stuff like this she can suck it up! IT WILL BE FUN GAWD DAMMITTTT!!! {insert freak out crazy face here}

Sushi on Saturday was yummy...I forgave Shawn for being late b/c he actually 100% completely forgot, he wasn't just late b/c he was being willy nilly etc. I was pretty PO'd at him at 1^st though...but interestingly...as I get older I don't have the same energy for staying mad at ppl as I used to have...this is not a bad thing. Plus he fixed my MP3 player issue...haha YAY! I needed to get my rockabilly tunes on there to explore how I feel about that genre of music...

The Wii is FUN....I played Mario Kart last night...It is tough not using a toggle to steer TOAD to victory! Haha OK so there wasn't a lot of victory...just a few fluke victories! I traditionally suck at video games but they are fun...and it gets Ayla out of her bedroom!!!!

Wii Wii Wii All the Way Home

November 15 2009

Full house yesterday...Phil and Shawn were here for sushi fest (Shawn managed to only be 40 mins late this time...no comment...but he fixed my computer so he is forgiven) - then Kim and Rob of course...then Aunty Pam and cousin Maggie with baby Sidlet were visiting...
Mags brought our xmas gift down and we were forced to open it...and it was a Wii for gawds sake with the Wii fit game and one other game....Holy above and beyond! Thank you Maggie and Co! I cant wait to start the Wii Fit game so the dude on it can tell me how obese I am hahahahaha

Sushi was good...I think I have perfected my spicy tuna roll...Guy...would u try it if I made it?

Today its breakfast with Loren & Maria...then I dunno...I work tomorrow and have that interview then I am off for a week THANK GAWDDDDDDDD...

Rob and Kim bought a hookah at the smoke shop...for smoking flavored tobacco...that was fun watching them set it up and put it together and use it ha h ah hahah ahaha the house smelled of fruitiness all night. lol I am not much of an inhaler so I don't get this sort of thing but it was interesting to watch all the same...plus the 2 of them are just funny so....