is there anything worse than spending time with someone boring? who u have very little in common with? someone void of the ability to express anything real or anything deeper than surface bullshit? i think not...in fact i prefer no humping to that that is mediocre and lacking in real substance or excitement...
there are ppl out there that can not be without *someone*...sometimes i envy this, not the co-dependence of it but the bizarre (to me) ability to be able to be open to such a thing...im well aware that my standoffish nature is completely to do with my lack of trust in humans and the universe in general and a way to ward off pain and emotional turmoil...trust me, there is not self-bullshit going on in my mind...
i do enjoy my own company...i like being alone...but i also like the idea of not always being alone...but id pick being alone than being with someone just 4 the sake of filling a void or 2...
i was recently talking with a friend who has a similar background and it is truly fascinating how humans, faced with situations as children and adults have such a broad spectrum of coping mechanisms.
they all have the same outcome...temporary suffocation of fear and pain...
some of us do better than others...some of us appear to do better than others...it always chases us down...
i was walking home in the rain tonight...Layla (Eric Clapton) came on my MP3 player....that has got to be one of the top 20 all time kick ya in the crotch rock songs ever...
i have wicked kickass heartburn...i think its this topic of discussion with myself....
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