Friday, June 29, 2007

blissful goodness

My gawd....the matt good album is KILLING me its so fucking acoustically yummy and tasty and amazing...I can already tell this cd will be in my top 3 of all time...
the lyrical content alone is stunning... *wipes drool off her chin*

Ayla had fun last night...she will be home later.
I bought her a few posters 4 her room cuz shes always complaining her room looks so boring and bare but shes too stunted to do anything about ones Marilyn Monroe (who she likes these days) and one Nelly Furtado...I wanted to get her to cool TOOL one but I didnt think she would dig it. haha

These is this local guy going around the shadey areas of town and video taping johns with hookers and then posting it on the internet....what do u think of that? Part of me gets a chuckle out of it but i find it disturbing at the same time....I went to the guys flickr site and he ha some really great pictures and then he has a folder for FAT PICTURES....he takes a lot of pics of ppl downtown, junkies shooting up etc but yeah a whole pile of pictures of fat ppl, and he makes smart ass remarks about how they look etc.
Kind of puts a different spin on the whole john/hooker stalking he does. Comes off pretty judgemental about more than one issue.

I close tonight...its gunna be a real shit show too, last payday b4 the month end and a new fiscal year...our debt is out of control and no amt of work has made a dent in bonus this quarter...grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thursday, June 28, 2007


Tonight I was downtown and spotted some cool poetry graffiti and thought id share with ya...(click on em to see em full size)

Michael Moore's SICKO is great....he makes me howl with laughter and then recoil in disgust @ the state of the is a great watch though....i think i wanna move to France now. Arika and I went for NOODLE BOX and it was orgasmically delicious...

Then we went to the music store and drooled.

Matt Good is streaming his new cd as of today on his website
it is acoustic and BEAUTIFUL....i shit u not.

 drunk here and I still try to hide my 40 chins

I just got an unscheduled raise and I feel REDEEMED!!!!! wooooohooooo

I also grew 2 zits, one on each side of my there is no hiding them

Aunty Pam's operation #2 is OVER and she feels not too hideous! YAY! Hopefully itll be the last one.

Apparently my mom and her partner and fighting a lot...I better set aside 2 hrs and call for the dramatic update.

Ayla is at a year end party/ is nice to see she has some self imposed LIMITS...there was a sleep over last night as well at the same house so ppl could help prepare for the bash and Ayla decided she needed a good nights sleep more than the fun and she opted to stay home....awwwww....I love that. I should make her climb mountains everyday!

I won those tickets to see SICKO tonight and Arika and I are going for NOODLE BOX b4 hand so im outta here.... PS I had to do a ref check for someone today and the answering machine started like this "JESUS LOVES YOU! Thank you for calling the blah blah god freaks of america blah"

Its a good thing I didnt have that phone number when I was drunk dialing!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007





nap again





talk on phone

clean up



Monday, June 25, 2007


I just had a bath and sawed all the dead crap off my, I know...

I HIRED SOMEONE!! woot woot! and i dont even care that her name is so long as she doesnt QUIT by July 3 i wont lose my mind.

Ayla is in very good spirits these days...shes actually kicking ass at the flute and reading music so it is worth me listening to Hot Cross Buns until my ears bleed. It is nice to see her giddy!
She has a BUSY week ahead...all the year end stuff at school...sleepovers and such...Wed and Thursday night she will be at the trampoline house again, making 3875983749583745 water balloons and busting her ankles some more on that bouncy death trap.

I can assure you i will be at home and NOT making 3987893475983475 late night calls...I think aunty pam wants to cuff me upside the head.

Personally, i just think she should be glad I didnt call her house and give her a damn heart attack. I LOVE U AUNTY PAM! haha
I won 2 free passes to the premier of SICKO, the new Michael Moore documovie....Arika and I are gunna go Thursday night...should be interesting.
Yesterday the pizza we ate was the best pizza ive eaten in my LIFE i swear....I was so glad it erased the taste of alcohol from my mouth and tasted so utterly pizza will ever measure up now.

Tomorrow morning im making a giant baked sketti batch o' goodness to suck up to the boss lady...not just b/c im a useless tit and woke her up the other night but b/c shes gunning to get me a pre-annual raise bc ive been rocking the house down at work despite the challenges...
not only is this INCREDIBLY ego enhancing it is fabulous of her, as she has to jump through hoops to even try to get it approved. Even if she cant get it approved by the cheap ass higher ups I appreciate the fact she even tried. So she gets a giant batch of spaghetti!

I have tomorrow off and plan on being a productive human...
make ayla some yummy dinnerness...vacuum...wash the booze out of my jacket.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

and this is why....

I dont drink anymore....haaaa

Ayla came home from her sleep over gibbled....trampoline ankle we both just laid around like useless shits all day, ordered pizza 4 dinner...i had a severe hankering for tomato soup and crackers, finally dragged myself off the couch to make us some and WE HAD NO TOMATO SOUP!!!
For the love of gawd! wtf is that.
Thus the pizza...

I felt way better after eating...
I am still a dead pile of shit though. Watched FEAR & LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS twice is very weird to watch that movie as u drift in and out of consciousness....I really must read that book.

I would pay a sick amount of $$$ right now for some so fucking thirsty but water makes me feel kinda gross...whenever i think about what i drank last night i cringe and get the shivers.

I need to disable my telephone...seriously....apparently gay shawn has voice mails of me at 230 am blathering on about how much i love his gay self...
I woke up my boss at 2 am or some such shit bc she called me this morning to ask if i wanted runny eggs4 breakfast...and to let me know she couldnt get back to sleep....
I think I left a MENTAL msg on Tony-Jo Chan's cell phone....fuck...he will not talk to me again i bet hahahahahaha
I did have a lovely time talking to harrison though when I called Michelle B's house at 3 am....yes I am a loser....
i was making friends with some little gay emo boy last night as well...likely scared him out of his fucking mind...
Oooooo back to my low key boring life...thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I must find liquids to drink....I think ill have a shower....wash off the drunken grime...and gawd knows what else. ha

it is true

i think


usually my best thinking occurs after the fact, usually too late to avert disaster.

if ayla finds out the englishman was here she will eat me alive...

i will say i was entertained by how quickly he ran here after 6 months of me ignoring him.

im a bad person.

i wish i could just vomit

im gunna eat shephards pie instead


i just ate a piece of bread.
im hoping itll absorb the sickness.

my gawd my mouth...i can taste every drink i had last night....doubles were cheaper than know...u gotta do whats right and drink doubles all night...
rye n coke, vodka n 7, vodka and OJ, vodka paralyzers x 9837598375983745983475983745, etc

i should have my phone cut off.


gawd fucking shit fucker fuck

i am sickkkkkkkkkkk today

im sorry if i called any of you and woke u up at 3 am.


im more sorry about the englishman in my bed this morning...but lets not talk about that.

omfg im sick


the englshmans here



i jus invitd the englshman over....arrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg


i am so hamrd']

i luv u fuqrs

i jjus orderd shawn ovr to my house


Saturday, June 23, 2007

look out

im going out for a few Evolution

last time I did that Bruce threw up all over my bathroom.

but he isnt here so it should be a little cleaner.

i predict i will be the oldest person there...and fattest...well maybe not but i may as well go 4 the gusto.

odd thing is i will be the coolest one there only the little fucks have NO idea.


Friday, June 22, 2007

scary seagulls

it is friday. yippeeeeee

yesterday i woke up at 4 am with a headache the size of my ass...and it set the tone 4 the whole day...i think i had a headache hangover b4 i even got up to go to work...was weird.

i made myself NOT go to bed early last night (im getting too much sleep i think) and watched VANITY FAIR...entertaining enough glad i never saw it in the theatre. I cant stand movies that theres no real ENDING to.

was talking to the land lady yesterday about if another 2 bedroom suite becomes available that id like to look at it - i need to be on the bottom floor i think so ayla can prance and such.

the night b4 last, the night i wole up with the headache from hell i had a dream that a giant seagull pecked at me and tried to steal my camera and as i was fighting him for it i noticed he had a bag with him and it was full of cameras....eventually the seagull gave me a kick ass better camera than the one i had so...I spent the dream protecting the camera and looking over my shoulder 4 this freaky ass seagull with the metal beak! wtf....

I so busted my kid yesterday, it was AWESOME....i got to watch her facial expression as she realized she got busted too and that was INDEED the highlight of my day...I couldnt let her go on thinking she out did me in the smarts dept. Gawd sometimes she is the most perfect victim ever...

I rented FEAR AND LOATHING for the weekend....i havent seen that since it 1st came out so it is gunna be a trip.

I think i may be going out on sat night for a few is moving so may make an appearance (cuz im like paris hilton u know) and hang out a bit...going out at 10 pm is kinda hardcore for my old ass self though.

Facebook has been handy recently...aside from tracking down middle school sweethearts...Ive managed to find an old friend in Ottawa that some evil wench mind poisoned and its been nice to hear he is doing better and so happy...see, im not so miserable that I wish everyone MISERY. ha ha

Facebook is like a stalkers wet dream machine....

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Mmmmmm ham

I like ham a lot right now....ham with mustard on a bun. Mmmmmmmmm

So Michelle B and me are going to see the Deftones next month....and rather than just letting me do something nice 4 her she had to reciprocate and send me a new MP3 player - what a rude friend hey? hahaha No was cool, all loaded up with music already etc...SWEEEET ACTIONNNNNN!!!! Thanks Michelle and GOB!
Can't seem to get enough sleep lately...kinda weird bc as a rule I dont require as much as most ppl but man, yesterday, i slept 4-5 hrs above my usual 6 hrs.

I did manage to go out and see the Fantastic 4/Silver Surfer movie...I like the humor...and I was all in it for seeing the Human Torch with no shirt on and Ohhhhhh Yeahhhhh I got my wish!
My kid is in jackass mode at the moment...such an ingrate...gawd I look fwd to the day she is human and NICE to me b/c she wants to be and not b/c she wants something....parasites I tell u...parasites.
1 HIRED....2 interviews to go this week.....Oooo oooo oooo i am gunning for a big fat raise in October man...

Sunday, June 17, 2007


I know im insane but I need to vent here, regardless of how irrational it is...

Picture me in grade 7...obsessive tendencies (thanks grandad) a Rick Springfield mental.....

he is the sun and the moon....then there is Tony-Jo down the street, my elusive middle school cutie crush...then there is my friend Carla, who had scoliosis and wore a back brace and hated it with every fiber of her being...nice girl she was...a good friend.

So upon chatting up Tony-Jo 24-ish years AFTER THE FACT i learn that NOT ONLY did he date Carla for a few years as adults (GASP!!!), she also got him to buy her a Rick Springfield CD....

Oooooooooo the middle school BETRAYAL!!!! Now I know this is irrational...but its irritating...she confessed to him all the stalking and spying we/I did....

Is there no HONOR????

My gawd....

I watched the Last King of Scotland finally....good flick alright...although I was thinking it would be MUCH more horrific...can u tell im jaded, when hanging a man from his flesh isnt highly horrific? *shakes head* What a world. I bit/shred all my fingernails watching it I look like a tard.

I always get right fucking offended by these Matt Good special invite fuckin shows he has...this ones in fucking vegas on his gawd damn im gunna weasle in on that one....fuck it pisses me off bc I can not think of anything more spiritually delightful than sitting in the same room as Matt Good listening to him sing with an acoustic guitar. I think id give up a kidney...or a limb of some sort.

I have CANDY to watch tonight...Heath Ledger is not my favorite but him as a junkie might improve my opinion of him....I will let u know.

I have a canker sore that is KILLING me this week...I resorted to the medicine cabinet grossness, this stuff u put on it tastes like gasoline, makes your mouth numb and burns like a mother fucker...i dont think it helps it aside from numbing it long enough to eat a meal w/o ripping your own face off.

Oh yeah happy fathers day...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Tony-Jo rhymes with a lotta stuff!

ok when did salad spinners start coming with HOLES in the bottom??? I bought one 4 ayla and her caesar salad fetish (like im not going to encourage that) etc and im showing her how to use it and theres fucking water everywhere....well the whole bottom has holes ON PURPOSE for drainage...MY LAST ONE WAS JUST A REGULAR BOWL! how complex! ha!

i was up with 4 am last night yacking to Tony-Jo Chan...he was a kid on my street in grade 7 in moose jaw saskatchewan...i stalked him...i think he was my 1st stalking victim actually...i wasnt too hardcore back then...grade 9 i was a bit kookoo but i outgrew it hahaha anyway, thinking back he was my 1st ELUSIVE
quiet guy, never said much...funny how things from grade 7 on didnt change much. He is still cute too....

anyway - he is far more interesting than i imagined so it was pretty cool...
he reminded me of some stuff i totally forgot thats always a trip...cuz i dont recall him ever being in my house and me hiding him in the closet hahaha
ohhhh grade 7....shit ayla is in grade 7....

i just threw up in my mouth

moving on....
now these super uber coated lenses are fab but every so often the light hits the frame a certain way and shines a red light sabre like shape in front of my face and i start to flail cuz i think something is headed for my face....ill get used to it im sure haha
i got my hydro bill today and i have a 145.00 credit...ive been overpaying it 4 a while apparently....cuz you know, im so RICH i can plunk extra $ on bills and not care...duh.
my interview today was a no show...yeah...fuck i hate ppl.
ive been INFORMED i have to hire 4 ppl 4 the district in the next 2 wks
hah hahHAHAHah hahahah HAAHHh hahaah hahHAHAHAHAHA
This is DUGAN again.......he is awesome.
He was here the other day and shit on Ayla's bedroom carpet and i laughed and laughedddddddddddddddddddddddd
Good dog Dugan!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Glasses, Puppies and Retinal Hotness.

my new glasses...I prance around like I am hot shit now.

This is DUGAN, Donna and Dan just got him, he is 7 wks old and a furry little bundle of whiney puppy goodness!

This is Dugan trying to hump Ayla..... and then below, her realizing and BOLTING hahahaha

So yeah, I saw pics of my retinal scans eyeballs are HOT BABY! My hot (female) eye doctor said in 13 yrs no ones ever said "omfg, my retinas are GORGEOUS"...

500 bucks later I am set up with new specs that dont look so nerdy and also know my eyes have improved over the last 8+ yrs since my last exam so...WOOT WOOT!

The Lenscrafter lady was REALLY fucking annoying....annoyingly friendly and giddy...Cynthia and I near stroked out listening to her talk.

I gotta say though these high end no glare lenses are the cats MEOWWWWWW...

Anyway...that was my day...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

my mullet kicks ass on your mullet, bitches!

Thought I'd give ya all a good Sunday laugh...the beloved mullet picture lives on...I am posting this mainly for Johnny Introvert b/c he posted a high school picture and holymudderfukkinsheetmon he better have got laid at his highschool cuz he certainly would have at mine hahahhaa

Today Kori and Mary are supposed to visit a bit b4 I go into work...audit time again...monday im thinking going in for 3 or so hrs to save myself the trauma monday morning or trying to get anything done. I will go in today INVISIBLE, wont answer phones, cuz im not really there to take I might actually get something done!
On Fri with A & T I was in a very odd mood...and was being a total weirdo...not sure why...must have been the 200 proof kahlua from mexico they brought back.


I got the sprog a flute...pretty cheap endeavour.

Looks hard to play though Ive got to say, I look fwd to hearing bad fluting over the summer haha The book looks a little daunting...guess we will see how bad she wants to be a band geek for grade 8 by how much time she invests into it this summer.
I am the laundry queen this morning....there is nothing like starting off the day pissing someone off bc u got to the laundry room 5 mins after it opens and before they did...MuHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA gawd knows it happens to me enough. The grouchy laundering lady from last night wasn't the one I cherry picked sadly...I swear that woman is a fucking miserable bitch...I think she would crack and crumble if she ever said hello or stopped frowning... I want to do something bad to her laundry one day.
The sleep over last night nearly killed me....Ayla was mad at Niamh and they were bickering like an old married couple and it was irritating as all fuck. I went in my room and watched THE DEPARTED and drooled over Leonardo....
I chatted with someone on facebook last night who I was quite mean to in high school...for no apparent reason. I seriously can not remember why I disliked her so much...which means it was nothing of significance im sure...cuz the ppl i really hated I recall the reason haha Anyway...turns out she is an alcoholic and lost her son to the ministry...and seems very lonely...although maybe im projecting I was a weird thing anyway...being FRIENDLY. She is involved with someone I think is a scum bag from PR but I felt inclined to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

didn't i already tell you to fuck off?

It was like winning the lottery...I had to go clothes shopping b/c im just a natural slob and wear black tshirts all the damn time and apparently managers are not supposed to look slobby (as if!) so....i took a few hundred bucks and went and did the evil deed....then when all was said and done i get to the till and scratch a 50% off ticket WOOOO frikkin HOOOOOO i nearly peed in my pants! I was so excited it never occured to me to go buy more stuff DUH! ended up saving 120.00! So i got new sandals with the savings since my old ones stunk so bad it was OFFENSIVE!

Looks like the plans for Aunty Pam to move to Nanaimo are in motion....shes got her place rented out (Kelly) and ive got dibs on her bread machine hahahaha

im really quite excited for her and Jim....such a COOL adventure for ppl in their station in life to make such a bold move, I LOVE IT!

Work, new hire QUIT...and the last hope I had with an interview this morning cancelled b/c she got a job so....FUCK.

The problem is there is a ton of work right ppl have options and choice and are getting hired fast so we seem to be losing ppl due to the wait time for interviews etc so im gunna try to deal with that this month and see what comes up....


In other news...a retard idiot I used to go out with has reared his ugly head on Facebook (Guess who Deanna?) ~ He is still so sadly predictable it is amusing and his attempts to shmoose me are blatant and laugh-worthy...I wont add him as a friend so he just keeps emailing me, firing up conversation....then I shoot him down and a few days later he tries again hahaha

Im such a loser magnet.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Maddie & Kelly's Visit!

I like this one cuz she looks like the devil here hahahha


omfg she is fun and cute~

hot mama kelly!

kelly makes the best faces

I like this one cuz Maddie looks like my drunk granny....

so so so so interested in my conversation hahaha
The highlight of the whole weekend was us going out 4 breakfast this morning before Kel and Maddie leave for home...and after we all ate Maddie went hyper active freako child and was funny and jumping and jumping and jumping and right after I made a ritalin remark she BARFED all over the seat and on kellys hand...then kelly and i were laughing hysterically, ayla was off the bench like a streak of light man...never seen her move so damn fast hahahaha

kelly was gunna hurl so i got the honors of cleaning up the vomit while she washed herself hahahaha omfg it was great!

Friday, June 01, 2007


well it is a done deal...aunty pam and uncle jim are making a bold move and heading to move to nanaimo.

you guys got balls...good 4 u.

i look fwd 2 u guys bringing a little bit of *home* closer to us.

scary and exciting all at the same time.

kelly and maddie will be here later today! YAY! I wish maggie was coming too now so we could give her anxiety therapy AKA ice cream and slushies and candy and cards!

its frikkin hot out.

seriously. fuck. i hate summer.

summer rolls around every damn year and im always so bloody mortified that im still fat. not logical whatsoever but still mortifying all the same.

i dunno what id do if i woke up one day not probably have a stroke from the shock and not even get a day to enjoy it. ha!

i better go mentally prepare to leave the house today...happy friday bitches!