Sunday, January 31, 2010

LICK MY BALLS!

Sundays are a mixed pleasure for me...I love it b/c im not at work...but I hate them just b/c I do.

Went and say YOUTH IN REVOLT last night with Donna (haha funny)...we sat in the make out seat section but did not make out...I will be taking Graeme there in the future though...I love those giant make out seats! Graeme's new name when he's is being a jerk is Francois Dillinger...you have to see the movie to know what I mean by that. haha Francois Dillinger hahahaha


Aunty Cathy sent Ayla 16 Birthday Roses yesterday....Ayla was quite thrilled!! They are blooming nicely...I had to poke my head in her room to see though as they have been whisked off into the Ayla Dungeon to live there.... ::pout:: probably good though or the cat would rape them...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORAL CRAWFORD-BAKER!!!!!

I found a giant baby jesus decal yesterday downtown for 2.50.  No idea what I am gunna do with it but for 2.50 it was a SIGN, I had to get it...even despite the fact it was a pain in my ass to carry around all day.

Arika & I had a good day downtown...I ate the best sandwich of my life at the Garricks Head Pub...def. going to have that again....gawd damn it.

Today I am cooking a roast in the slow cooker...it is already smelling the house up nicely...
Tomorrow @ 9 am is my other job interview...will be reviewing that material today....and doing a little dance of good fortune for myself (no you cannot see it)....

Saturday, January 30, 2010

uckfay offay atcay

I don't think woman were banished to the red tents when they were on the rag back in the old days...I think they set it up to LOOK like that but I think really...they wanted to be the fuck away from the men and kids and have a gawd damn break when they were at their most frustrated and homicidal.
I wouldn't mind that week to not go to work....you get a year off when yer uterus squishes out a baby, why not a week off per month so your uterus can effectively shred out its lining and goo? Just a thought...one I am sure most women have already fantasized about in their lives.

Fucking cat woke me up at 5:30 this morning ON A SATURDAY.Ugh.

No UVic job for me...it initially stung for a moment but it was not my dream job in the slightest (although I am sad about not seeing bunnies everyday)... and I really was not crazy about that bus ride (it is not a particularly long bus ride but the bus is PACKED in the AM and there is nothing worse than a full bus in my eyes....esp. when stinky ppl are on the bus...which...flows into my next account of my bus ride to the interview....

Ok so I get on the bus to head up there...and its full already (annoying) so as im moving to the back I can smell SOMETHING.... fishy...pungent... fish...when I stop moving twds the back of the bus I am clearly at the smells epicenter b/c it is hideous....and I look down and there is 1 empty seat on this bus with 20+ ppl standing already and its beside the woman permeating this FISH smell...I think she may have gone to the beach and rolled in all the dead salmon, not sure...anyhow...theres this empty seat and im totally blocking the aisle so I bucked up and sat beside her...WELL THAT WAS WORSE!!! I should have stayed standing and got squashed into the far back of the bus b/c MY GAWD...I could not have crawled FURTHER into the corner of my seat to try and not be touching her and to escape the closeness! It was absolutely nauseating!!! It got 2 the point I said fuck it and made a run for the door and got off the bus before I started gagging....I waited for the next bus to come along...seriously...you know when u smell something real bad and u make THAT FACE....that was my face the whole bus ride with her...
 
Then I started worrying ppl were gunna think it was ME......but by then I was so drunk on the stink I stopped caring...and just needed FRESH AIR...whenever the back dor of the bus opened to let someone off it was like a brief glimps of odor-free heaven....sigh.

When I escaped off the bus I was then worried her disgusting fish small stuck to my jacket b/c then it was ALL I COULD FUCKING SMELL.....til I got to UVic and they had just fertilized and THAT GROSS smell took over my nostrils....It was clearly an OMEN.

One more interview lined up for Monday and it suddenly became a very important one hahaha This job was the one I was more interested in but......we shall see...if I don't get that one then not all is lost...I do have a job I like (just hate the location) and will just have to live in limbo until something else comes up.

OMFG my peeing boy toy...I LOVE THAT THING!!!!!! Graeme was not impressed with it at all and that makes me wonder about his sense of fun-ness....seriously..WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE about a rubber toy made in Mexico that PEES????? Jesus H Christ!

Tonight Ayla and her cronies are taking the GC I got her for the cactus club and having dinner...I figured it was imaportant to make sure they ate well before getting drunk later...*eyeroll*
I am amazed she will be 16...me with a 16 year old freaks me out a little...2.5 years til graduation! WOOHOO!!!!! lol

Today I am meeting Mz Arika downtown for some hang time...a few things I gotta pick up for Ayla's b'day on Friday...cake is ordered and ready for pick up Monday after work...you guys are gunna love what i had printed on it this year....im sure u recall last years JESUS LOVES AYLA cake...I think this years will be humorous as well.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

BUNNIES!!!!


No idea how that interview went...im terrible at gauging that sort of thing...was a short interview...she did ask for my current supervisors name and # though...

I dont think its gunna take them long to let everyone know though....time will tell.

Just glad its over...

Made some rabbit friends on my trip to the campus though...I FUCKING love that there are bunnies everywhere!! And ppl are still feeding them, I saw that black bunny eating a pile of rodent food someone clearly left there.
It would be hard for me not to feed them smuggled in carrots...just saying.

I am now going shopping with Tracey for groceries at Thriftys cuz its BOGO DAYS...buy one get one free...get it? And im finishing up shopping for my ingrate childs birthday crap.

I LOVE BUNNIES THAT CROSS THE STREET AND DON'T GET MANGLED BY CARS!!!!!!  THANK YOU BUNNIES!!!
Seeing such a sight today may have turned me bitter or something...ok wait...bitterER.

Why is everyone shitting the bed over the new APPLE product the iPad....? Yeah its a dumb fucking name, it should be iTab without a doubt but really who cares about another over priced piece of technology?

NOT ME I GUESS!

I have never been a new gadget person...im a "wait til its been around forever and its real cheap if i still want it" person hahaha or "wait til someone in my family is sick of theirs and upgrades and ill get their old one" person hahahaha

gawd

something in my fridge smells SOOOOOOO nasty.....that's what I am doing later today...hunting the smell down and killing it.

interview day hair and skin are co-operating with me fabulously....THANK GAWD

my cats new activity: it has become her mission to pull all the hair out of the bath tub drain...every morning I walk into the bathroom there's is a glob of my hair piled in the tub...thank kitty {eyeroll}

last night donna and i went to the ocean backpacker inn for dinner...they dont have to pay a rest. tax or something b/c they are a hostel and the food is CHEAP (like 6.00 and under for almost everything)...we had curry and it was yummy! alex is the kitchen engineer/cooker chick there and it was good to meet her finally, even though she hugged me and then punched me for saying we have shared a penis. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i will always say something inappropriate, you can rely on me.

today

9 am

UVic job interview...

collectively start chanting please...chanting "GIVE HER THIS JOB" over and over until it is so....

I wanna work somewhere that's crawling with bunnies everyday...I wanna visit the bunnies today!!! THAT IS A JOB PERK!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Happy Hump Day Bitches

-i slept in today

-my back is real itchy

-the long white puffed cereal things in my Kashi* look like adult maggots

-if i ever find a moving one ill be rich b/c ill sue for mental anguish

-finally got my pants all hemmed, a seamstress i am NOT

-my sewing machine is broken...::pout::

-UVic interview tomorrow and the day off, so stoked to come home after and not be at work

-last night ayla came home after work, we just had a NICE telephone conversation right b4 hand where she was actually civil and funny, i left a plate of dinner 4 her in the fridge...she walks in and sees her light on in her room and sez "stay the fuck out of my gawd damn room...GROWWWWLLLLL"...i only turned the light on so she could see when she came in b/c i was in bed already and all the lights were off in the house...this is why ppl shouldn't breed.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

just call me....zit face

I just ate a salad with 2 eggs in it.....boiled eggs in salad gimme a boner.
I will be starving by the time I go home and will likely eat my own arm off whilst walking...
Maybe the half pack of cheesie rice cakes will hold me over...(I bet that made Guy roll his eyes right there)

GUY!????? Why dont u comment anymore? I told u how to sign in to comment! U only have to do it once and the cookies should save and it wont be any bother?! Or is it b/c I am excruciatingly boring right now? That is likely it. Ha!

Ok back to work...its so boring I have ben doing projects for the other staff...yesterday I had a hoot playing on the microfilm machine and learning all that...and today im in an Oracle database doing Order in Council cross referencing? Fucking sounds boring but its better than doing NOTHING! :P

Tuesday January 26 2010



Hello, my name is Jennifer Conkubine and I am a cranky bitch.

Little too much going on for me these days...in my head...makes me super assface cranky...

I just ate Kashi* Honey Almond Flax Flavour cereal - it was pretty good! I am shocked. It was like fancy ass puffed wheat but crunchy.
I have resorted to talking about my breakfast cereal in order to avoid saying mean bitchy whiny things...THIS IS HOW FUCKING IRRITATED I AM! I can't find my gawd damn chi!!!

AND I HAVE ADULT ON-SET FACIAL ZIT  CLUSTER CANCER HIDEOUSNESS AGAIN!!!!!
It is gunna scar gawd fucking dammit! SAME SPOT FOR 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuckin fuck

Sunday, January 24, 2010

sunday can suck my balls b/c it's the day b4 I go back to work

ugh - realization...these job interviews i have this week just became EXTRA important b/c it occured to me that with the new round of lay offs within the provincial gov't it leaves me a sitting duck to get my ass bumped out as an auxilary employee....so...a lot more at stake then what i was originally dealing with....eek!

i have my 4 questions answered for Job #1 mostly done....3 for sure....1 I can jam out at work tomorrow I think and it doesn't need to be submitted til midnight tomorrow...which sucks b/c I thought it was Tuesday until this exact moment...fuck.
better get back to it.

Madelyn & I Conversing

Adele, do not DL this hahaha

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Sedimentary Rock


Sedimentary Rock
Originally uploaded by poecile05
taken by Guy......sooo purdy

Zombie Party!!


Saturday = Productivity

SATURDAY ~  January 23 2010

I don't like typing 2010 after the date...it looks weird...the Olympics have ruined the year 2010 for me cuz whenever I type it I think of then Olympics. Ugh.

Eating what you want to eat is so much easier than eating what you should...Yesterday I ate bad stuff and I was sick as shit last night for a while...was even hoping I was bulimic enough to just barf but - alas - I was not. Anyway it was a good reminder to behave b/c not only did I feel shitty I STILL FEEL GROSS today...that heaviness feeling that I have ditched since summer is back and omfg...no thank you...not living like that again.

Something happened to my post yesterday in transmission, I am not sure what but...it cut off, I dunno wtf I said, nothing noteworthy clearly so whatever. Just babbling on about the impending doom of these 2 upcoming interviews and the importance of ONE of them panning out or gawd help me I will lose my shit if I have to keep living in limbo land.

Last night Donna and I went for a walk and then went to Andrea's so they could play Rock Band on Wii...omfg...Donna singing is fucking awesomely funny...she gets into it, groove, improvises...I near peed a few times...her going Nirvana's IN BLOOM adding in Chad Kroeger-like YEAHHHHs was disturbing though....New band name is CROTCH.ROT...Donna talks about this Rock Band band like it is real, "gotta go jam Dan, don't wait up!" etc...its very amusing...b/c I want no part of this I was designated band manager named Mary Commando...Donna is Daisy __________ fuck I forget...and we are trying to get Andrea to agree to be Lu Lu Labia but she isn't super keen on it.

I "found" some Olympic pins at work, not at work, in the FOYER and took it upon myself to jam them all in my pocket to ALTER and then give out....SPIRIT of 2010 with turn into SPIT on 2010.
Yes I am 12 years old, what is your point??

I slept in today....I love myself.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Moooooooo!

Ohhh friday...I love friday. Filled with such hope and dreams of the upcoming weekend...Even the shittiest friday is still friday, can't beat it! I am just sitting here with Matt Good, chilling out on my break...he is currently singing "Champions of Nothing" to me, such a good song...wonder if it was considered for the 2010 Olympic Soundtrack...?

With 2 impending and IMPORTANT job interviews in the next week I am freaking out a bit...a lot riding on these...with nothing else really upcoming in the decent job dept. I cant help but feel like not getting one of these is gunna be my death blow...I have been really calm throught this lay off crap for the last 5+ mths...trust me, I handled it all incredibly well for my general personality type...I can see myself losing my shit if

EDIT: ok where the EFF did the rest of this post go?!?!?!?!?!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

OHHH FUCK YEAH!!!

Good Afternoon Jennifer

Thank you for your interest in our Clerk PB/7 posting.

Our office will be conducting interviews on Wednesday, January 27th and Thursday, January 28th.

Please contact our office at your earliest convenience to set up a mutually convenient interview time.

Warm Regards,


Maria(UVic)

hahahahaha


AN EMAIL FROM MY FAVORITE LESBIANS, Amanda & Erin:


"Erin and Amanda has gifted a $500000
donation to the "Foreskin Restoration Society" in your name!"

Message:

  "Though that you would appreciate a donation in your name to this worthy
and precious cause.
LOVE,
A&E "


"Foreskin Restoration Society".
 
  "We're a sensitive society, that firmly believes in men getting
back what was once rightfully theirs and taken away without mutual
consent.
  It's only through you and your friend enormous kindness
that this has been made possible.  We believe that the act of circumcision is a barbaric practice that not only robs men of sensitivity, but of their manhood.
  It might just be a little bit of skin, but to some it's a much
bigger thing.  We have been helping men successfully reclaim and restore this thin skin of masculinity since 1987. If you'd like to know more about our
cause please visit our website at www.manskin.org Thank you
for your kind support and warm generosity."

January 21 2010 - Thursday!

OK I admit it I friggin had a hearty chuckle about not enough snow up on Olympic Mountain Land...oh and don’t forget the seizure of the Whistler Resort...omfg what the hell is that? You are hosting the friggin Olympics and you stop making loan payments...are you kidding me? 1st thing I learned as a grown up is PAY THE RENT FIRST. Duh. Back to business school for you idiots...the real kicker is the snow...the gamble the gov’t took investing in this depends a lot on weather and that’s a pretty BIG bet to make on something so unpredictable as the weather. That is a lot of taxpayers’ money riding on weather! Clearly I think that is a gamble NOT TO BE MADE...although i am sure its no sketchier than other deal that we NEVER hear about – for something this public I wouldn’t want to be the one making that call. Wait....yes I would...b/c then the Olympics wouldn’t be an issue at all b/c that $ would be used for shit that actually MATTERS to real people. Sigh...

Tomorrow is jeans day....BONER! I cannot articulate the excitement I have for this day every single week!

Found out yesterday that I am indeed eligible for benefits and vacation time even as an auxiliary employee. Shocking! I found out only b/c I sent an email to HR requesting that they stop taking union dues off my chqs now that I am NO LONGER IN THE UNION...and then inquired about why the vacation $ and benefit $ was not added on to my chq....Gail then sent me an email saying “my bad!” – she was supposed to send me all this info when I started here but FORGOT...and guess what? You only have 30 days to apply so it is getting pretty damn close! Another week or so and I would have been S.O.L. Thanks Gail you are friggin awesome in your ineptness...then she got snotty with me despite me being far more than polite about this all and said “Oh not to be picky but my name is spelled GAYLE.” Oh really Gail? I thought it was spelled INCOMPETENT? Or USELESS? Or SNOTBAG? I confirmed with the boss...Gail is unpredictable with her moodiness...great. Gail, suck my balls. I will forever spell her name wrong every time I email her now...just because. I am over it now though...the paperwork is done and mailed.

Good news...that EAW testing I did (Employment Assistant Worker) that was BRUTAL and I was sure I failed it in proper epic form...I got called in for an interview.

 {INSERT FIREWORKS HERE}

AMAZING. This is great b/c this job is something I think that would be a fabulous position to help me develop a sense of what I really want to do...I am drawn to social work type jobs but have managed to avoid exploring that by talking myself out of it figuring I am too messed up to help anyone else who is messed up. This of course, as I have gotten older, is bullshit b/c everyone’s effed up on some level and ppl who go into helping careers tend to be people who have endured all sorts of crap and are messed up by it....which gives them the empathy/experience needed to be in those careers I think...anyhow...I interview for that Feb 1st (HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYLA!) so that should be interesting. There are 4 pages of required work that has to be submitted a week prior to the interview. 4 questions I need to answer, 1 page each...I will be doing that this weekend, getting it all tiddled up and submitted. I haven’t heard anything about the UVic job yet but it just closed on Monday so...hopefully next week.

I haven’t written in a while...so I am Ms Blabbery Blab lady....

News on the Graeme front...looks like he is getting his ducks in a row and is looking to be moving here in March April/May (BOO! HISS!!)...This is exciting! It is forever away BUT not so forever that I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel (Admittedly May sucks hard ass compared to march but it is what it is....)...really looking fwd to having him around...you can quote me later when this blog becomes my personal relationship counseling center. Ha! Seriously though...you all remember that excruciatingly pain-filled pining your heart experiences...the mind numbing ache of absence...the fearsome horniness...? YEAH THAT’S ME RIGHT NOW! LOL (Him too...hehe)

Okay that was the most girly, vulnerable giddy girl thing you will ever see on this blog...for sure! OK...tonight is a mom/kid talk of uber importance...should be fun...I cannot fathom Ayla will be 16 in just over a week.....EGADS!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Tuesday January 19 2010

I have an interview this morning. Not for a job I am at all fond of or excited about so I am not really worked up about it at all...

Who wants a cat? My cat is being particularly annoying lately. if my bro-in-law was here and offered to take her home with him I am pretty confident I would agree...I would of course miss her and lament and regret it for some time after the fact but I still think I would be ok with it.

My lost phone is gonzo. I am meeting someone this evening to buy a new/old one...50.00 - not much but so annoying mostly b/c I detest cell phones and tiddling one up is a pain in the ass...im not cell phone savvy AT ALL, adding in the contact list takes me 3 mths...but at least ill never fall for my bags trick pocket again! grrrrrr...

The intensity of my crankiness right now is rather impressive even to me...going off the pill...being frustrated in general...impatient by nature...it will pass of course, in the meantime hopefully no one will die.

Was talking to Tracey recently and she mentioned I am the one person who she would never tell off...this surprised me b/c Tracey is not skittish in the slightest...she said im way too quick with the vicious witty retort....so then i started thinking about it...i dont get told off...even when i deserve it....when im being a blatant all out assface to someone they dont tell me off...im not often an all out asshole, its USUALLY on purpose if its OVERT and im trying to start something with someone...but...for the most part im not a jackass to the ppl i like - esp. on purpose...but...
now im all tweeked by this and wondering if im 1837458375x more of a bulldozing bully jerk then I think I am. :|

Monday, January 18, 2010

Meh

too tired, grumpy & hormonally unstable to post anything coherent.

consider yourselves lucky.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Pout

I suspended my cell phone.
I can't get through to anyone at that fucking bar...
and I don't feel like taking a 20.00 cab ride to run there to see if it is there...mainly b/c I have not even showered today...lol
Pain in the ass. I will miss my ringtones...

I don't use my phone much at all but fuck now u watch how many times I am gunna be in a situation where I need one...I will give it a few days and go check the bar for it and if it doesnt find its way back to me I will buy some used one off usedvictoria...
Ayla was feeling rather redeemed by the fact I lost my phone...I will likely NEVER hear the end of it now...despite the fact shes broken and lost multiple phones to my one. ha!

Roast beast turned out yummy all shreddy fall aparty....mmmm.
I am miserable so I think I will just go to bed and sulk.

Hair of the Shedding Circus Freak

Sunday is the day I vacuum up all my hair off the bathroom floor usually....

I dunno wtf is up with my hair in the last few mths (I blame the pill) but I lose handfuls of hair all throughout the day...I have a lot of hair but its very fine and fuck it if I wanna end up BALD for shits sake...I am tempted often to get my hair foiled just b/c the dying process makes my hair thicker and less sparse.....

Not So Lucky

Not a bad day yesterday....saw AVATAR again with Tracey & Adrienne....fuckin love that movie...then went to Donna's....admired Dan's bbq sauce burn on his face.....it looks like face herpes the poor bastard....some bbq sauce got on his face and it was so hot he couldn't even feel it burning til it was too late.....gawdddddddddd....sick! Then we headed downtown and went to this Vietnamese place..I was sure to not order anything with animal stomach in it....what we did eat was quite good and I will def. go back!

Then we wandered around a bit before going to Lucky to see Start With the Cobra...fuckin love them...especially now that a certain member is no longer a member....the 1st band The Role Models were cool....didn't mind them at all...local guys.....2nd band from Vancouver can please go back there and never return to this island thank you very much....it was like watching an awkward 1st time stripper...painful. Kill me now kinda shit....but then the mighty Cobra was on....omfg they truly kicked our asses....I want my uncle Jimmy to see them!

Then when that was all over we are walking home and about 5 mins into the walk I realize I have lost my cell phone....I know exactly the moment when I did too....I checked the time right b4 we left and thought I slid the phone back into its pocked on my new bag only my new bag is TRICKY!!!! It is actually I larger bag and then a smaller one attached so down the middle of the 2 it FEELS like a pocket BUT it goes right through, no bottom....I think I am a douche and slid it in there and it fell right out the bottom somewhere....so it is on the floor at Lucky, in the dark....and I dunno if anyone will find it....I may have to trip down there tonight if I havent heard anything...I will keep calling it and hope someone wonders why Pearl Jam's BLACK is playing off in the distance....of course once they have music on im fucked b/c no one will hear it....worse case scenario I get another one off www.usedvictoria.com for 50 bucks and carry on I guess....and lose all my good ring tones gawd dammit!

So yeah...check out the picture of the native carving...its got a blow job mouth and a vagina! haaaaaa!

Today is laundry day...and Amanda & Erin are coming for a visit to use my computer and dazzle me with their humor and lesbianism...I wonder how many times I will say something is gay and they will pummel me...?

Ryan McMahon has some new tunes up on his FB Fan Page....fuck...that boy has just gotta make it...I am not sure what I will do otherwise.

Friday, January 15, 2010

....YAWNNNNNN

so...tired....

must...m..a..k..e....th.r..o.ugh.h..........t.h.e........da.y.........

EDIT @ 6:40 AM: I am wearing an under-wire bra today to keep me annoyed thus will keep me awake!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

sneezing is fun

im tired...i dont think ill get to type long b4 i die so if i just wander off mid thought - my apologies.

tomorrow is friday

friday is jeans day

fuck yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there was a little puppy at work today...was cute as shit actually...clumsy as all heck, would get running so fast she would run into the wall...she tried to eat my new shoes and get in my garbage can...then started to chew on a rubber finger office thingy (i dont use those things, they freak me out)...i couldnt ever have a puppy, it would drive me bat shit...more trouble than a bad cat... awwww remember when my cat destroyed my favorite ikea lamp?? that was funny.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

test this you fuckers

Answer me this...what are you going to learn about with a question like this:

If PERSON A lived 260 km from PERSON B and they both worked at LOCATION C, PERSON A leaves at 6 am and PERSON B leaves at 6:30 am - PERSON A is traveling at a speed of 40 MILES/HR, the moon is full, the planets are all aligned, there is a squirrel in a tree eating nuts and an old lady taking 45 mins to cross the street, what rate of speed would PERSON B have to go to get to work before PERSON A?

OK THATS FUCKED! Those questions are GHEYLORDFOCKER! These moronic tests are weeding out good candidates with this shit....fuck u. The rest of the the test was weird too...I'm not holding my breath on this one sadly...which sucks b/c it was a pleasing environment and I may actually really want such a job.....  ::POUT::

@#$%!

I am so hot in my new sweater I may never wear it again...I cannot tell you how completely inconvenient and chi ruining this dress code business is...oh sure you think, what's the big deal having to wear dress pants and something without food grease spots on the front....well let me tell you IM NOT HAPPY. This weirdo polyester wardrobe hell I dwell in currently is completely ruining my life. I feel icky all the time...im suddenly having to THINK about what I am gunna wear and how that will affect me with the weather, work load, walking I am having to do to get to and from work, what shoes to accommodate such walking and weather and did I mention I think I look fucking ridiculous?

Ahhh yes that's the crook of it...I feel like a bloody fraud and a wanna-be trying to look like a semi-professional when I am not of the mind set to pull that off. This is why I have never really had a "look"...I am far too complicated to fit one "look".

I am also fashion retarded and don't get the whole scene. Even as a teen I was fashion retarded only no one noticed probably b/c it was the 80's and everyone looks equally retarded. I have never been a hair and makeup girl...never managed to get good at that either. I dunno why I even am a girl...aside from saggy boobs and a vagina I don't really think I am a girl...ok I am a little EMOTIONAL at times...but I dunno...it just wouldn't ever in 1083475837857634785 years occur to me to wear pink, high heels, a corset or a dress. THAT'S FOR GIRLS!

I am so conflicted. Is this what transsexuals feel like?? Living a life of total confliction. Acting one way but feeling another. Why can't grunge be cool again? It's the only time I was ever *in* without trying...

In a perfect world I'd wear my old mac jacket, black t-shirt and jeans with comfy shoes. THE END. Bury me in that exact outfit please. Wait – cremate me b/c I haven't been HOT enough in this life yet. I currently have the window open wide and a fan blowing on me...and the simple act of typing is making me WARM. My new shoes are reasonably comfortable...my right foot is noticeably larger than my left though as that shoe is still a wee bit tight. See...in my world NONE OF THIS CRAP IS AN ISSUE!!! But now I am forced to be a gawd damn sheeple and dress like a sheeple and pretend I am normal when we all know perfectly well I am not.

I am simple...sometimes of mind....but always of spirit. It doesn't take much to make me happy. It doesn't take much to get me excited or make me feel content. Is it too much to ask that I get to wear what the F I wanna wear? Trust me, a comfortable Jen is far more productive and far happier than the uncomfortable Jen.

OK WHINE FEST OVER. I fucking hate this sweater. The End. Oh and I forgot my MP3 player this morning. WTF!?

what's all the rage?? face cancer of course!

Jan 13 2010 HUMPDAY but not for me...wah!


I don't like typing 2010 and i especially don't like writing it...I fuck it up by always writing 21 1st...grrrr

Head cold is going full tilt, super awesome...plz stay a head cold please stay a head cold...that's all im saying....what I can truly live without is my face cancer zit cluster nightmare that's back...its pretty hard to have a good day with that shit on yer face...I think I know how the lepers felt....not even kidding. I have testing after work for a job in gov't and its 2 hrs...I will surely be fresh and at my best after working all day and then going to do this testing...I wonder if they plan it that way, to get you while your spent and weak? Clever.

The UVic job im going for is up and posted now so I am gunna be applying for that tomorrow after work...CROSS YOUR FINGERS - I WANT A GAWD DAMN INTERVIEW!

Gov't Incompetency 101: Poor Coral...my old co-worker Coral who was also laid off and opted out of placement to take severance...well...not only did they FORGET to mail her the severance chq (she had to go pick it up the day her mortgage was due and she was shitting the bed!) they then proceeded to PAY her on the most recent gov't payday....by accident (she hasn't been working!), then say oops, and ask for the $ back only for her to find out b/c of that fuck up she isn't going to get EI, her pension pay out etc in a timely fashion, it'll take til effing March!!!!! All b/c some fucktard in payroll didn't submit her forms correctly or whatever...I know I know - typical but WTF? I think Coral should get a flame thrower and go make some ppl listen...assholes.

I grocery shopped last night...I deserve mother of the year award...in my own head anyway...part of me would like for there to be NOTHING in the house but a head of cabbage and then see how she likes that...maybe she would appreciate things around here more...oh wait...no she wouldn't...never mind. There was a time I had to steal food from the local Red Rooster store @ Ayla's age b/c there was NO FOOD in my house aside from a box of minute rice and u can only eat so much of that...gawd damn kids these days...{insert cane swatting here}

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Jan 12 2010 - Tuesday - Snot Update

my snot turned yellow over night.

awesomeness!

Monday, January 11, 2010

my kid - the jerk

won't go grocery shopping b/c she says she feels like a pregnant or teen mom....or homeless.

wtf.

jerk.

New New New

I couldn't take it anymore...the comments being so effed up....and then once they were fixed I still didn't like it...b/c they double sent me notifications from blogger and echo and I just lost my shit and went crazy and settled on this lovely japanese design and im keeping it!!!!

The snot generation is picking up...as is the hack...in a few days I will be an unrecognizable green pile of mucous no one will come near for fear of the swine plague. <-- not the worst thing in the world really.

My new shoes are stretched out not too bad after wearing them around work today but gawd damn my pants were too long and it was a GIANT HINDRANCE let me tell u...got some hemming to do.

Work was quiet today...was just me and one other lady there...tomorrow the annoying-ish lady will be there but so will my boss who I like! Yay!
Fuck I am boring...I must eat chicken and read my paper mail!!!!

OCD

Echo comments are back up but....they're all....dumb and wont just pop up in their own pop up box....Sigh.

Perhaps this template is not worth the headache......... :o(

It is going to be a long day today....

Sunday, January 10, 2010

A Prayer 4 the Near Dead


I am not near dead at all I am just overly dramatic...

I do feel the need to pray to the universe to ensure this cold that is plaguing me (see over dramatic explanation above) will stay a head cold and not a chest cold...I hate the hack...hate hate hate...I hate throwing up from the hack...the minute there is phlegm in my throat im a vomit-er. Sexy I know. I can assure you that my 6 mths with whooping cough about 5 yrs ago was a real treat...walking around with specks of vomit on your shirt at work b/c you threw up on the way (the cold air outside is a huge cough trigger, hence the barfing on the way to work everyday...) That's all I ask of the universe....SPARE ME THE HACK!!! NO HACK!!!

I slept a lot this afternoon...The Matrix was on...I wanna get all snuggled in and watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid tonight....prior to lapsing into a coma from all the cold meds...which I might add is the only good thing about being sick...the fuzzy loveliness of being high off Neo Citran and other various concoctions of meds. Ayla is better now of course and I am quite certain she will be of no help to me at all whilst I am sick despite the face I was doting on her with orange juice, snacks and drugs while she was dieing. Thankless job I tell ya...thankless job.

I would kill for some mucous inducing ice cream right now...or a slurpee...omfg a slurpee on the throat would be orgasmic right now....if Graeme were here and wasn't sick I bet he would go fetch me one...he is nice that way...he wasn't out humping a red headed college girl by the way...

When I am sick I always end up ripping the skin off my bottom lip...wtf is that about...?

I am reading a book about the Reena Virk murder right now...its so far really well done and while the story itself is repulsive and disturbs me deeply as a former high school bully - it is interesting to get some details about all the ppl involved...I am sure reading it will only make me more of a headcase about my own kid and what sorta shit she is involved in...nothing that sordid of course but...its amazing the network of bullshit teenagers can create.

OMFG Sidney you are so adorable its criminal!!
Your Aunty Kelly takes GOOD pictures of you too! Lucky!

OK its time for me to shut up and go snuggle into my blankets with tea and drugs...

Monday can suck my ass...that's my pre-emptive attack on the shittiest day of the week!

BEST CRACKERS EVER


I love it when they over-bake the crackers....mmmmmmmmmmmmm

hmmmpf

Sunday @ 7 am

Definitely getting the sickness...no ifs ands or buts about it.

Graeme is MIA and probably humping a red headed college girl...

I am sick and extremely PMS-y.

Look out world.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

oh sure I will buy that because im RICH after all!


I don't enjoy shopping...but it is necessary at times...My new job requires I wear dress pants etc daily and with one pair of dress pants this wasnt working so well so today was shopping day. Tracey came with me and I think from now on she is my new personal shopper...

I found 3 pairs of dress pants in 10 mins that fit and were 50% off and a top....done!

Then at another store managed to get a bathrobe I have been wanting and another top - 50% off = DONE!

Then it was dress shoes... DONE!

Then it was the Leather Boutique for a grown up bag...30%...done!

Then I needed TROUSER SOCKS for my new shoes...wtf...if u asked me this morning what trouser socks were I would have said it was something to do with the male penis...
That is a lot of $ for me to spend...in 6 mths let alone 1 day...

Graeme is at his work staff party tonight....not home yet at 11 pm...I bet those pharmacy sluts are getting him liquored and making him dance like a monkey at a club! I KNOW IT!!!! {insert insane jealous grrl face here}

I am drinking hot tea...feeling my throat getting grosser by the minute...we tried to see Avatar tonight but it sold out at both theatres so we saw Sherlock Holmes instead and it was surprisingly way better than I expected...

(yeah im sure this looks like granny gear but...whatever haha)

A last grasp at the life worth living...

The sickness is upon me...no warding it off now....I blame Ayla and her grrl germs. I particularly love walking up to a massive LIE too...but I wont get into that on here...lets just say some near 16 yr old is pushing her fucking luck, even with me. Gawd...parenting is demoralizing and completely ridiculous @ the moment...oh to be able to fast fwd through this bullshit....sigh. (thanks mags)

Today is shopping day with Tracey...I gotta get a couple more pairs of dress pants...this is against my will I will have you know...I hate buying dress pants...hate hate hate...I need shoes that go with dress pants even more but I am not sure they exist and can accommodate my comfort/walking needs. Maybe I will have to be one of them ppl that walk to work in runners and put on different shoes at work...I don't wanna be one of them ppl though - I dunno why...but I don't.

Last night was DATELINE...I have been watching this one story unfold since last year about a guy whose wife fucked off with his son to Brazil 5 yrs ago and his struggles with the legal system to get his son back...its all very convoluted and fucked up honestly, even after shed died he couldn't get his kid back as the only other blood parent...the poor kid was brainwashed terribly in the process of all this and anyway I love a good story where good shit finally happens to someone who waits out the bullshit and I was sucked right in...(**Kudos to G for not getting irritated when I would only call him during commercials for 2 hours hahaha)...I have now taken Brazil off my travel list...those mother fuckers ignored international law not sending that kid back after a parental kidnapping and said fuck u to the Hague Convention...bad bad bad Brazil.

I am drinking tea from my jesus cup, just so you know. I think I want some jesus underwear.

We are all quite alone in the universe.
This is my general opinion...even with family, friends, partners, at the end of it all we are all solitary beings...we are born alone and die alone...when you are sitting on a bus, on a dark rainy night, with headphones on, with a wet umbrella in your hand that is dripping onto your jeans b/c its Friday jean day....you are alone. Being alone is not BAD by any means, it is what it is...sometimes it is a welcomed state of bliss, sometimes it is a pure form of torture...all depends where your head is at.
My head is clear currently...this is surprising though all this lay off limbo etc...I think my aunty Pam is rubbing off on me a little...her indifference about shit she has no control over...I like it and hope it sticks.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Friday Loverrrrrrrr

I am hunkered down in my desk...waiting for someone to hand me work. I cannot help it that I am incredibly efficient {do not look at my desk at home}. I cannot pace work...when I have work I must do it and get it done lickity split. Now I am at the mercy of the person who has to check my work b/c im new (nothing wrong with it by the way) so that i can get them all signed by the OTHER person in the office before I can rivet and seal them...sigh.

So I am sitting here attempting to look busy by typing furiously.

Dan @ my old job retires today...that’s right...today is his last day of crappy gov’t work and he can go on enjoying his days of watching tv, reading, travelling and hanging with his lovely wife Theresa. Jealous aren’t you? You should be. Imagine being well enough to enjoy retirement...? Gawd...anyway he requested NO FANFARE so there will be no fanfare but gawd I am so happy for him and love the thought of him skipping outta that place today with a smile, knowing he will never ever have to walk through those doors again into that mismanaged piece of crap office. Way to go Dan! Enjoy yourself and do not turn into an Alanis Morrisette song and get hit by a busy today after work b/c THAT would SUCK!

I slept like a dead mole-rat last night...was asleep by 10:30 pm (so much for reading) and woke up before 5:30, that’s 7 hours and more than enough for me....I am also looking fwd to my bagel/veggie burger I brought for lunch...you know you are fat and old when you look fwd to lunch before you even eat breakfast.

Family wants to go to Mexico for Xmas 2010, not sure how that will pan out for me but I sure would like Ayla to go @ least. Personally I would rather go to Cuba than Mexico or the Dom. Rep. Etc but that’s just me wanting to soak up some Cuban culture and stalk the tracks of Che Guevara.
Our family has never done anything like this before so I personally think it would be fun...we have a lot of fun together when we aren’t telling each other to eff off. Not sure who is all planning to commit to this idea yet but it will come together soon im sure.

Gawd would someone give me work to do...pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee before I die.

Its jeans day...and I am munching on a stale white cheddar rice cake...pining for a cup of tea....admiring the pile of rice cake crumbs all over the floor now. Bloody hell! I have lowered my office chair and it won’t go back up again...so i look like a midget back here. I apparently need to take a course in operating can openers, office chairs & printer/scanner machines.

Shawn & I ate sushi for dinner last night...mmmm so good I love you yam roll! Afterwards we played some Super Mario Bros. And we had fun...finally got by the part Graeme & I could NOT get by...my gawd I swear I was going to shoot myself in the head trying to finish that level...poor Graeme was almost killed by my Wii wand a few times...I was close to stroking out...so now we are past that and into WORLD 2...which is desert and weird...Ayla and I played too...she is a sucky team player...she just uses her Luigi guy to push me off ledges and jumps on my head...and steals all the treats...jerk...unlike Graeme who is nice to me in real life AND playing Wii. He never tried to bash my head in once with the Wii wand...not while I was awake anyhow...

Wow is my chair ever low....on the up side, whilst sitting this way, my legs feel really LONGGGGGGGG.

balls deep

Ooooo sweet friday how I love thee....
Especially now b/c its the only day I get to wear jeans to work...woooohooooo!!!!!!!!!

Got a date with Tracey planned for Saturday....some pants shopping and a movie...her recent unemployment is a welcomed rest but she is in need of some distraction and I do enjoy hanging with her so it seems like a great plan...plus I get to see Avatar again so I am all over that!

Clueless as to what to do for Ayla's b'day...16...gunna have to make her  sit down and think it out and make some sort of request/plan...

I can smell cat food b/c the cat was just furiously eating....she's getting lardy again...I didnt notice til ppl mocked her picture on Facebook lol....

It does look likea cat bra is in order there, doesnt it?

Thursday, January 07, 2010

can openers for dummies

what does it say about me that I cannot operate a certain type of can opener?
 
u know the ones that are all cockeyed and take the total top of the can off...I CANNOT OPERATE THEM! I feel like I need to get one just to practice b/c this is the 3rd time ive run into a situation where i have to ask someone to operate the can opener for me b/c my lunch hour is ticking away as i blindly try to work it.
 
I NEED A CAN OPENER INTERVENTION!!!!!!
 
Going into a soup/cracker coma now....dinner with shawn tonight after work....which is good bc ive crippled myself walking to work in my non- walking shoes now...fuck.

Ohhhh Kelly help....!! I am on fire!

CALLING KELLY THE FIREMAN!!!!!!!! I went to bed with the heat on and now its like a sauna in here this morning and im sweaty and gross...plz come over here with your firetruck and douse the place with cold water....plz and thank you.

I am tired this morning...I didn't get to bed early enough...dummy.
Got a testing appt for a EAW job...that's Employment Assistant Worker...aka welfare worker. Not ideal but could be interesting...more importantly that UVic job I want is up on the site now so I gotta apply for that this weekend after the fabulous Catherine (she works there and loves cute pandas by the way) helps me out with my cover letter...woohoo!
It is unfortunate that the job im in is not permanent b/c I quite like it and enjoy the work.

Gotta say I am feeling bad for the peeps I like at my old job...the place sounds like a gawd damn wreck....they are hideously short staffed and no end in site...oh the joys of gov't poor planning & cutbacks.

Work is gunna be busy today....I better get a move on....

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

so weird



When I have had "friends" sleep over in the past I don't usually SLEEP...I lay there...wishing I could sleep but distracted that someone is IN my bed, taking up my space and preventing me from being in a coma...im a light sleeper so getting to sleep with any distractions is not always easy - which is why I sleep with the radio on, it helps me filter out any other noises that would otherwise keep me awake. Apparently the granny/old age need for sleep wins out over the neurosis's in my head now b/c this week I slept like a dead donkey...like full on woke up with blanket and pillow marks imprinted into my face, super attractive stuff....and as I feared I do indeed make weird noises when I sleep....only I don't care anymore. lol

Back to reality today...work. Ugh. My boss is away so i go in to meet the other 2 ppl in the office 4 the 1st time...that should be pleasantly awkward..."Hi I'm Jen - I am here for the day, know next to nothing and likely have no access to a computer terminal and cant really do shit all..."

G is back home and not in love with that whole concept...I understand it as it is like my aversion to living in Powell River...only his aversion is Campbell River.

Super Mario Bros on the Wii kept us busy the last few days...oh my gawd there were times I thought I might pull out a flame thrower  and torch the whole place I would get so mad...dieing in the same spot OVER AND OVER....I had forgotten the demoralization of that...but then when u make it its like giving birth and you forget that it took 30 tries HAHAHAHA

I hear Matt Good is getting remarried soon....

Monday, January 04, 2010

blogger dead zone

hello my pretties

im eating a banana waiting for tea water to boil...its raining hard outside...ayla's asleep FINALLY...the poor monkey is SICK and feeling like utter poop...no school today 4 her...graeme is asleep and warm under too many blankets....and i am out in the kitchen soaking up the aloneness.

saw AVATAR yesterday...omfg...what a brilliant movie. im not generally a sci fi fan esp when EFFECTS are the big draw but i do love james cameron movies so it was a given id go see it...and lemme tell you it was worth the billion yrs it took him to make it as he waited for technology to catch up to his original idea...seriously it was fucking great...the effects (gotta love it when it is truly hard to tell whats real and whats CGA) arent even like effects bc they look real...really LOVED it...its an interesting version of the world wide bullshit that happens when pompous white ppl land somewhere new and take over - destroying indigenous ppl and land in the process...if u havent seen it DO IT!

graeme made a roast beef last night...marinated in Guinness overnight...it was pretty effing good i gotta say...i was slightly skeptical lol but it was yummy...and the yorkshires were like...orgasmic gravy goodness lol *ya i love yorkshire pudding hahah*
im drooling right now thinking about it.
im not very good with other ppl in my kitchen i discovered yesterday...which seems funny bc its not like im some fancy hardcore cooker person who calls her kitchen home....love it when weird snippits of your crazy mothers personality sneak into you unknowingly. RUDE!

see that terrible picture above looking onto a wall with dead vine prints on it...? thats my view at work lol i dont mind though bc im glad to have 2 big windows that open bc the bldg is so old all it does is jack out heat full blast all day so without those windows open i would PERISH. plus i have crow friends that visit (i share my crackers with them) so its cool.

FORKING COUNTRY. thats what i see on that wall hanging everyday....FORKING COUNTRY...