Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Sidney the Stink Face by Kelly Davies

Jesus was great, he gave us long weekends!

Well this is off to a rip roaring start. Graeme has to be out of his apt today and he has gut rot stomach flu. NICE TIMING. Hopefully he won’t drop dead b4 he gets here b/c he has some strain of gut/intestine liner eating bacterial infection-itis grandulara morbidius! Arggg! He still loves me despite wanting to die so this is good...we will see if he will kiss me in public when he sees my hair. HAAAAAAAAA the true test of loyalty and affection right there folks. Fuck yeah!

Yeah so - 6 Prince George schools have been closed with likely more to come next year due to budget issues. Interesting points raised about on the CBC website....the gov’t has all sortsa $ to dump into a new roof for BC Place, convention centers, etc - yet we are closing schools down...and expecting kids to bus to the closest school that sometimes takes 1-2 hrs to get to depending on their location. On the flip side....ppl say that so much goes to salaries within these budgets that it’s to be expected...Ummm...I dunno what teachers or administrators (teachers are famously underpaid considering the importance of their job and the crap they have to deal with) get paid but I bet it’s a fuck of a lot less than politicians who do less so.....that argument can suck the big one. I mean really...should a teacher or a school receptionist take a pay cut to keep schools open while millions are dumped into other seemingly less important things in the province – and let’s not even bring up the gov’t inefficiency/waste issue/politician salaries. I look at this stuff rather simplistically I’m sure b/c for me it is simple...it’s like the concept of personal budgeting...you always make sure you have your rent money 1st and foremost...whatever’s left over goes twds food, bills etc. b/c without a roof over your head the rest of the shit hardly matters. To me education, the environment and social services are top priorities so that stuff should be looked after accordingly and not suffer as they always do...those 3 get slashed and undercut constantly and it shows. SLASHED LIKE MY HAIR MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!! Gawd - what a true fucking atrocity.

One more day to a 4 day weekend...Ohhh yeahhhhhhhhhhh thank you sweet Jewish Jesus for getting dead and rising again in all fakery and fraud b/c I love a extra long weekend!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

delightfully cheery & ready to slash you w/ a broken bottle

I just got OFFICE 2007 at home....work perk, scored it (with a disk even) for 23.00. Now I have my fancy Outlook Calendar like @ work and this thrills me to no end!! I love pop up reminders...I love the scrolly goodness of it...this will make my life better gawd dammit!!!! YES!!!!! It will be grand! Everything will change!!!!! Right b4 my very eyes!!!!!!

Tracey is meeting me for lunch today – she is bringing it...it is a SURPRISE LUNCH!!! Much like the surprise lunch I packed my kid today....I made her a peanut butter sandwich and added bananas in it – which I have no idea if she likes or not b/c we don’t eat that at our house...it sounds revolting to me....ok not revolting so much as not my favourite...revolting is more like slicing up a slug and adding it to a peanut butter sandwich...now THAT would be gross. Yeah I still make my 16 yr old a lunch every day...reason being that if I don’t make her a lunch she won’t (we have tried this before....she just won’t) and then won’t eat ALL day or will spend $ to get something....so I use it as an opportunity to sneak fresh fruit and vegs in her day. Besides...really...in a few years I won’t be making her lunches anymore and will probably be sad about it...ok that’s bullshit I won’t miss making lunches –I hate it BUT...

LATER: Oh my surprise lunch was nummy...fancy cheese and tomato sandwich with homemade butternut squash and carrot soup...

::drool::

It is so quiet in this office right now it annoys me...I can really hear my bra creaking...that’s right u heard me...I have a new bra that creaks like an old wooden pirate ship...strangest thing ever. And for the record, I will never wear it to work again b/c it is a STANDING ONLY BRA...not for sitting. Ugh.

OMFG STINKY BUS STORY: I got mega stunk out today coming to work with a woman’s gross odour - something like moth balls mingled with general stink...she didn’t LOOK like she should stink which is why it totally fucking hit me hard – I wasn’t ready!!!! But Jesus I kept looking around to see if anyone else’s eyes were watering but I couldn’t tell...me, when something stinks I can’t deal – I scowl – I probably look like I am turning into the Incredible Hulk...ready to bust outta my jacket and pound the stinky perpetrator. JESUS PPL!! SHOWER! WASH YOUR CLOTHES FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD!

Yeah I still loath my hair...Just waiting 4 it to grow...that’s all I can do...oh woe is me.
HAIR TO the G – to the H – to the E – to the Y !!!

Ayla's text re: her PB and banana sandwich: "I cannot eat this."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Monday, March 29, 2010

rainy poo poo

Rain Rain Rain – I am not complaining...it’s been a pretty dry winter, no snow and not a lot of rain....not sure how that is going to be this summer...we have a lot of trees to water here after all. The wetter the winter the better for sure.
Good and busy today at work...lotsa stuff done & managed a trip up to Government House...I love that place and its awesome red carpet.  I love this short week business...will make for a hairy end of the week for me but I don’t mind!
6 days and counting to cohabitation. I am interested in the dynamic this will create in the house...for me personally. I haven’t ever had to share my house aside from with Ayla...and I have never had to share my quiet alone time which I bet will be weird...I wonder also how this will affect my weird little habits and neurosis’ – I am well aware another human cannot fill certain voids and holes in ones psyche- this due to having a baby and realizing full well a few years later I was still as fucked up as ever regardless of the massive amount of love given and received from the sprog - but perhaps a little patchwork isn’t outta the question.....opinions? Time will tell. Oh yes it will. Either way it’ll be nice to be on an even playing field with someone who is on the same page as I am in regards to expectations and who actually communicates and doesn’t chicken shit avoid topics that are uncomfortable.

I joined the Matt Good M+ thing on his blog/website this weekend...$25.00 a year to get exclusive goodies and forums and such...well worth it for a junkie like me. The forums are interesting-ish thus far and full of info/tidbits that I crave and enjoy...I cannot describe the GLEE - PURE GLEE - I get from getting a hold of a demo MG posts on his website for a mere few hours...never to be posted again... (yes you can call me MG MUSIC NERD)

My yam is baking in the oven....are u jealous? You should be! Yams are AWESOME! Yams should rule the world...yams should run this shit and make everything all better...MmmMmMm! GO YAMS!!!!!

Monday March 29 2010

I dont feel quite as Howdy Doody with this hair today....but I am still not in love with it.....at all....GROW GROW GROW.

I am getting sick again...tranny voice is on the way...I blame the dentist...I think they put germs in my throat.


4 day week then 4 days off...ohhh can't wait...I think I would love 4 on 4 off...would have to make more $ though for it to work I think....lol

Cheese and rice crackers for lunch today...thats how you know I was too busy to make a roast on Sunday...::pout::

Someones been calling me CONKY for a while - I had no idea it was a reference to the Trailer Park Boys puppet...I call my kid Conky a lot too...now it has special meaning! Evil sinister smart ass puppet...what could be more perfect??

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I like Sundaes better than Sundays

Met up with Graeme's big sister yesterday for brunch....along with her daughter Rowan and friends Mary & Amber...they are in town for a girls weekend - it was much like hanging with my own family...you know that table in the restaurant where the ppl are a little loud and laugh a lot...? Yeah that was our table. Pretty fun actually...despite having bad hair I managed just fine with that  crazy crew! I sure loved the card she made with the cut out of a picture of Graeme when he was 14.....OooooooooOOOooooo so good! lol

Friday night was good....great bands/music...half our group didn't make it sadly but me, Donna & Andrea all managed to have a good night...I went home as soon as the music was done (11 pm I am so hardcore) - the other 2 went partying with strippers and one of the bands (not interested) and had a pretty good time by the sounds of it....Donna was in fine form though and not one wine glass was broken at the V-Lounge Friday...mostly due to the fact she was drinking from the plastic wine glass I bought her. HA! Andrea was making friends as she does so well...lol

OMG Melanie Griffith has the most annoying fucking voice...WORKING GIRL is on tv right now and it making me nuts listening to her whiny bitch voice. I will make it through though,,,,Today I am meeting up with Aunty Pam and we are dropping off a mattress for Alex's kidlet and then buying a new one for her mother in law...that's it...I should pop a roast in the slow cooker...Oh I just remembered Tracey is making me thai supper tonight...WOOHOO!!!!! She is gunna love my howdy doody hair!


7 more days...and in moves Graeme 7 all his camera equipment! WOOT!

I am going for a nap.....(yes its 1025 am)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Jen: Poster Girl for Hair Clips

Ayla passed her learners driving exam...yay!

Thank gawd b/c I was not looking fwd to that drama if she didn't pass...haha
Was fun seeing her all nervous and panicky! She's usually Ms Cool as a Cucumber....

Totally NOT in the mood to go out tonight at all - it is complete and utter obligation to my birthday girls Donna & Alex that is making me stick to the plan...

I went to the dentist today...I think she fixed my problem that I have been suffering from for 9 mths and she also fixed my filling that fell out.  What a gal! I am a little bitter I don't get free toothbrushes when I got to the dentist anymore. WTF is that about? It's one of those things u dont ask about b/c you know you'll look like a douche if u do. lol

I am always so weird after a dentist appt...I wander home in a daze, not even with headphones on...feeling like my spirit has not yet zipped back into my body. So weird...I blame the dental dam trauma - I FUCKING HATE THOSE THINGS. Today I got a JAW BLOCK put in my mouth...supposedly 2 keep yer jaw open with you u having to hold it open...ive never seen one of these in my life until today....worked pretty good...but i am always paranoid b/c u have shit all jammed in your mouth and cant talk or see whats they are doing u never know if they just grab something the last guy used...that shit freaks me out...I know I know...they use autoclaves etc...BUT WHAT IF...?????/ Ewww ewww ewwww!

I think I need a nap.

Perspective - using evidence of worse hair I have had....

..............FUGGGGGG..................

(BIG FONT TODAY CUZ IM ANGRY) 
hates hates hates hates hates herself for this haircut.....hate.......idiot...it all came flooding back to me the moment I stepped out of that hair place why I have not had bangs in 16+ yrs....b/c I do not rock the bangs...i have the shittiest hair for bangs SHITTY SHITTY SHITTY thing wisp fine bald spotted shitty hair...........................................fucking hate them........now making the best of them if going to be a massive challenge b/c short of wearing hats every day until they grow out I am pretty much stuck with them.


sighhh.


i know....it doesnt matter...i really honestly know that but it didnt stop me from becoming weepy this morning in theb athroom trying to do something with them that didnt make me wantto slit my wrists


it doesnt matter

it doesnt matter

ppl are homeless and starving....
ppl are sick with gross diseases, suffering...
land is being polluted and exploited for every penny its worth...
babies are falling down stairs in their 70's walkers...


it doesnt matter...its only hair and it grows...hair does not define who u are...


it doesnt matter


(NEW MANTRA)


it doesnt matter......


the best part is its very windy today so no matter what i do with them it wont matter in about 5 seconds after i walk outside and I will be at the mercy of the wind so why the fuck am i torturing myself? i dunno. cuz thats what i do....and well!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

not in love with the bangs...

but they will grow out in no time...hows that for not being a whiny bitch about it?

omg make her shut up

THE ONE WHOSE NAME I SHALL NOT TYPE is in Canada on a tour of ignorance and bullshit....being a whiney little bitch because she claims her rights have been violated in Canada due to a cancelled night at the University of Ottawa due to a protest etc...its all so silly...I am sickened this stupid cow gets any press at all - it is all she wants, its the reason she behaves like a fucking ignorant idiot - for press and $....I am amazed anyone would pay a dime for her shit books or appearances but you know...The Backstreet Boys made a living doing the same thing essentially...being good for nothing talentless media icons.

Leave Canada you horse faced ass...and don't come back please.

throw up , poop & police brutality

Funny how throwing up makes u feel so much better...I did a throw up last night (that’s a quote I love from Ayla as a little kid “I DID A THROW UP!!!” haaaaa) & today I feel much better! LOL Not 100% but way better than yesterday. Today is a busy work day so it’ll go by fast...then hair cut, then home to FLOP.
Tomorrow Ayla & I are going to the “place” so she can write her learners test. I will pay for this one – if she fails she’s paying for any subsequent fees to re-do it. I have passed the learners test so I can’t imagine she won’t...she if doesn’t though it’s a life time of mocking let me tell you.

What do u think it means when you dream about being in an airport and being in a hurry to catch an important flight to Vegas and you are in the bathroom and you can’t leave the stall b/c the dump u just took is now overflowing the toilet and you are bound by obligation to unplug the toilet and stay trapped in the stall to ensure your turds don’t escape the bowl while your friend Connie waits out in the airport wondering where the fuck u are and what u are doing? Yes this is what I dream about....missing flights due to toilet dysfunction. I woke up shaking my head at that one.

Got a text from Ayla yesterday that said “BEST SALAD EVER!”...awwwww...im so starved for Ayla Love that a simple thanks for the awesome lunch text makes my heart swoon and fill with joy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!!! 37 is awesome – 36 can suck it!

I am listening to the sound of a fucking conference call through the wall...loud as can be...I can hear it word for word, what Ministry they are talking about, what changes are going to happen...no idea if this is SENSITIVE information of not but considering this bldg is open to the public it is a little ridiculous either way.

Absolute Underground videotaped a cop roughing up ppl downtown (Victoria) and that cop is now on desk duty while it’s being investigated. It was ridiculous what this cop was doing, kicking and kneeing 2 men that were already on the ground and detained – im not talking about little kicks either...these were serious OH FUCK kicks that make you cringe to watch...and while I understand the stress of that particular job and the human factor of getting caught up in a moment etc a person in that position needs to conduct themselves with some professionalism...meaning this sort of behaviour makes a cop no better than the fucktards he is trying to protect the public from in my eyes...there is little to no accountability for this stuff and it really needs to stop b/c I think if there was real accountability these aggressive power tripping a-holes would conduct themselves much differently. I really hope the 2 men (even though they were not charged with anything at the end of itall) in the video file complaints against that policeman.
Here is the YOUTUBE video.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

bangs of doom

I saw the lady that I love to think catty thoughts about on the bus this morning...I cannot stand this woman...she’s about 50...trying way too hard to look 30 and she has the most atrocious hair alive...I don’t generally notice this sort of thing about ppl in public b/c I just don’t give a shit...but on a bus it’s kind of a captive audience thing...anyhoo...last week she was doing the porcupine bangs thing...straightened so badly that the bangs stuck straight out like porcupine quills...today it’s just shrivelled up retarded bangs day...this is making me VERY apprehensive about getting bangs. I know – life is rough when this is your biggest dilemma.

I am tired as shit this week...can’t get my shit together at all...its making me intensely cranky and an overall asshole. 2 more days then a 3 day weekend. Last night the start of a sty erupted on my eye...I promptly boiled it to death with a hot tea bag and today its unnoticeable (KNOCK ON WOOD)...I will boil my eye tonight as well. I have no time for an sty. They are gross. I won’t even leave the house with a sty. I am not kidding, I will call in sick. Eyeball things are freaky to me...pink eye is ok cuz yer eyes still look like eyes they’re just red and puffy etc....STY’s ARE MUTATIONS! They mutate your eye and fuck up the symmetry and I cannot deal.

11 days until cohabitation. The previous hype is wearing on me. Now I don’t even wanna think about it – I just want it to happen so we can get the fuck on with shit. This likely has to do with me being extremely tired and dead...oh and while i am whining like a little bitch – my foot is sore. I went to bed with tiger balm all over it and it felt warm and nice but it is still sore. OMFG the cat was being evil last night...but I got her...MuHahahhahahahahaha! She was being scratchy and noisy as I was trying to go to sleep which INFURIATES ME b/c – well – its fucking ignorant...anyway – I laid waiting with a pillow in my hand for her to creep out twds the closet (so she could bang the 2 doors together and piss me off – she does this while looking right at me trying to get a reaction - she’s like a fucking toddler) and I fucking walloped her with a pillow and scared the ever loving shit out of her....she ran like a bat outta hell and I never saw her again all night. Sometimes life is sweet. Anyone want a cat?

HAPPY BARFDAY DONNA MARCHANT!!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

TO BE OR NOT TO BE....


I am conflicted.....should I get bangs or not?? I have terribly cowlicky hair at the front so bangs are a little maddening but...I need a change....OPINIONS PLZ.

I dont want grade 9 yearbook bangs or pre-teen piggy tail bangs...just regular red shirt bangs......



gawddddd

I asked Graeme what kinda haircut i should get......

Fuck

13 days!

Mmmmmm oatbar...

Good weekend in my world...had lots to do...rearrange the bedroom, clear out some crap, make room for G...tinkered so much I didn’t get around to making my looked-fwd-to weekly calls (sorry Aunty Cathy!! I will cat you very soon, don’t worry!) or get stuff prepared food wise for the week...grrrr. I did get to see Aunty Pam and Uncle Jim for dinner and a wee visit when they dropped Ayla off and took away the elliptical (WOOHOO!)...so interesting to watch Ayla struggle with things I recall so vividly at her age...the intensity of taking everything personally, of thinking your family are completely insane and mental and do not understand you...shit, I recall that quite clearly seeing as my whole family thought I was a Satanist at 16 HA HA HA (not even kidding hahaha) I do really like Ayla’s recent shift...I was hoping this would come around knowing full well she was raised to be a thinking person...she’s rethinking consumerism (selectively at this point) and will shop at thrift stores rather than demanding 100.00+ handbags etc. This is a huge relief.

Roller Derby was meh. The sport itself I like and enjoy but the venue was welfare and shitty so I won’t go again unless it’s at a place where there are bleachers so you are ABOVE the derby track...standing level to the bout going on is most unenjoyable in such a crowded place...u can’t really see shit all. The Victoria PARALYMPICS SPORTS CHALLENGE that me, Donna, Amanda & Erin did before hand though was fun as shit...baseball, basketball, badminton, Frisbee, fire sticks etc Man we are a sorry sight in the athlete dept but nobody has as much fun as we do fucking around that’s for sure! I just found out Graeme loves badminton....o-m-f-g this is gunna be great! A live in badminton partner!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly Monday came around and its back to work but it is a short week as I have Friday off...and then the week after is a super long w/e with that Easter bullshit then the next weekend I have the Friday off again so its 3 awesome short work weeks in a row...it’s like...like...having good sex at xmas time....whilst eating pizza and chocolate! {drool}

My Swiss Chalet experience last night was weird. It was like I walked into an old folks home (imagine Swiss Chalet on a Sunday night) – everything took forever I guess b/c they assume everyone there is so near death they won’t complain, they’re just happy someone’s taken them out of the nursing home...but I had good chat company so that made it okay...not in love with SC though...it’s just like Denny’s only mostly chicken hahaha

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Christian Smiles


Christian Smiles
Originally uploaded by cobalt123
Never saw a red headed jesus before!!!!!!!!

the *i hate xmas* tree


the *i hate xmas* tree
Originally uploaded by jennzebel
I am testing this Flickr feature...plz go on enjoying our old tree star....

Friday, March 19, 2010

friday = yummy

Ohhh sweet Friday...and payday! April is 3 payday month...these months twice a year are essential for my survival....next month’s extra chq allows me to buy Ayla’s bus pass for the year (420.00 ouch) and pay her year-end dance costume deposit fees and buy the tickets to the year-end show etc...LIFESAVER! The 3 pay chqs again in Oct usually funds xmas...let’s hope I am still a gov’t employee in Oct so xmas wont suck balls. Now i just have to tuck away that 420 bucks and still have it when the bus pass is due at the end of JUNE! Ack. {trust me, the 420 reference was not lost on me this year}

Ayla is headed up to Nanaimo for a few days visiting with Aunty Pam and Uncle Jim...that will give her a much needed REST from all her party shenanigans....she had a lovely drunken wipe out St Paddy’s day and her legs/knees are scary bruised...no idea where she inherited that from.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennzebel/3760455741/in/set-72157621852159992/

Man I really hurt myself that time - holy shit I went down hard in front of 100’s of ppl on the way to see TOOL in Vancouver right outside GM Place – loser...only I didn't know I was really hurt until the next day...and the entire month to follow b/c I am sure that fall was the real reason I gibbled my neck and had the most hideous nerve pain of my life...I walked around for weeks with my right arm straight up in the air b/c that was the only relief from the disc issue in my neck...I even went to a chiropractor out of sheer desperation...This is when I learned I like T3’s.

I can’t help it if I am very prone to falling whilst intoxicated...oh wait...never mind. I don’t get like that anymore...I am too old...and too fond of NOT feeling like crap...and somewhat concerned about the effects this crap has on my health honestly. I love my liver.

Shawn is off to California this morning with a new boy toy....potentially...fingers crossed! They are driving to San Diego...won’t be back for a few weeks.

I think my crap mood is over now. ALL HAIL JENNIFER! QUEEN OF THE HAPPINESS PEOPLE! Ha ha ha Yeah that’s it.

Its Friday at work...jeans day...I take full advantage of this and dress like a slob on Fridays. I figure b/c I flex every other Friday I get FEWER jeans Fridays than everyone else so I make sure the Fridays I am here super count!! Thus far no one seems to mind but really...they rarely wear jeans even on Fridays for the love of gawd! Baffles me.

I could totally have a nap right now...I got nothing to do...nothing...this afternoon I am gunna go ape shit and dust this place like crazy and move my computer and completely alter my work station...why? Because if I sit here hoping a courier will walk in with work for me I will go INSANE.

So....do you think the intensity of my crushes on cute rocker boys in the future will diminish once Graeme moves in? I don’t think they will disappear but I am hoping they will lessen in intensity...I am thinking I have been a hardcore crusher b/c I have had no one serious to focus on...when I have BFs I don’t generally go looking for crushes etc...I had a severe crush on the SWTC guitarist Christian until Andrea befriended him....now he is damaged goods to me...HAHA No offense Andrea...but I prefer my crushes to not wanna get in my girlfriends pants...lol So without that crush I don’t really have one except for Graeme...and I am thinking that’s plenty good! Gawd damn those rocker boys though, they are the devil...much like Graeme’s attraction to red headed college girls in corsets etc. I'm sure...We all have out “thing”...lol

Thursday, March 18, 2010

babble boringness

Ooo oo ooo I think it is happening....the cranky mood liftomication is in the works I think...I am less shitty today!

OHHHH BEST JOKE EEVER...ready....
Why does SNOOP DOG carry an umbrella?? (see answer at the end of this post.....

Graeme is back at work today after a week off to rip his place to shreds, repack, turf and move stuff to storage...I gotta say I was doubtful he would make the progress he did. HaHa Keep in mind a woman could have done it in all in a week...that is no slight to males everywhere but chicks just don’t fuck around, mainly b/c if we didn’t do it it wouldn’t get done so we are conditioned to just fucking do it. Anyway I am glad he got done what he did so the next few weeks will be that much less spastic stressy for him. My lovely little stress monster Graeme...I think he makes ME look relaxed for all you out there that think I am a stress case. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Start With the Cobra are playing April 3rd, CD release party @ LUCKY BAR...this is the day Graeme arrives to town forevahhh...he arrives at 7 pm....show starts at 8 pm and he said we should go! OK FAVORITE BF EVER! Scored big points on that one...how cute to get celebratorily (yes I make up words, what’s it to ya?) drunk on his 1st day here...WOOT!

WOW - Shoppers is open early every day – I went to Shoppers Drug Mart on the way to work today and spend 40 bucks for shits sake...rechargeable batteries...the DVD BLOOD DIAMOND ...pudding...soup...wtf. Never going in there again! Rude! Although I do love Leonardo DiCaprio so much I do not regret that purchase!

Tonight Shawn and I are dining after work...gunna try to go somewhere we haven’t been before...Mr Gluten Allergy Guy makes it hard to find a place that works but we will manage...esp. if he has a hankering for pancakes or something...he is a sucker for punishment for pancakes, ice cream etc...Poor bastard. Welcome to life as a girl.

I am amused by the fact that Graeme is as skinny as I am fat. I dunno why this amuses me but it does. If I rolled over in bed without thinking I could kill him with the Jen Style Steam Roll. Dead. Squashed. Crushed. Obliterated. He doesn’t know how lethal I am...no one does really...I am a secret weapon. Foreign gov’ts hire me to do their bidding...ok not really...I am not Ken Stewart...Ken was a guy in Powell River who was such a strange idiot...we have all known one of these ppl in our lives...the type who lie about the most unbelievable shit and are dedicated to passing it off as the truth for so long that it becomes a game of sorts for the ppl around them. He claimed to be a gov’t spy...he maintained this for many years...Guy was more privy to his BS than I was, I knew him but I never talked to him much b/c he creeped me out – but I have heard it all via Guy and other ppl and it humours the crap out of me that someone would think anyone would believe such shit...for one thing GOV’T SPIES DONT TELL PPL THEY ARE SPIES ASSHOLE. Makes u a pretty lame ass spy if u are outing yourself all over the damn place.

FRIEND UPDATE:

Guy – gibbled up flat on his back in midst of birding contracts crippled with a fucked up back thing...very very bad timing...we had an interesting talk about his recent dr appt...

Arika – Pertussis/Whooping Cough Princess this year...been off work a while trying to get a grip on the lethal hacking that is WC...been there...most unpleasant...but it does eventually (a mere 6 mths later) go away...:o(

Donna – Still recovering from the long boarding crash incident many weeks ago...I look for that fucker all the time when I am walking....I have a series of insults I plan to say to him which will be funny b/c he won’t recall who I am at all lol (Birthday Bash w/ Alex is Mar 26 @ the V-Lounge, be there or be square!)

Mary – Called me last night and then b4 she would hang up made me tell her I loved her...and if I was laughing while I said it she would make me re-say it hahahahaaaaaaaa Mary you are a kook! Kori & Mary’s wedding is Oct 16th and I will be there! (U know I adore u if i will go to your wedding...I effing HATE weddings) Graeme too and there is a possibility of getting some Graeme photography done for you if he can indeed make it etc.

Connie – IS HERE APRIL 9th! Her and Jason are in town for a wedding (NO KIDS!) and we have April 9th booked with them so we can hang out and do whatever (aka get drunk likely...and have fun)

Shawn – is off to California this week...he is a sun/warmth worshipping s.o.b. and cannot get enough of the sunny goodness of anywhere but here...no idea how long he is going for but I am sure he will enjoy it...

That’s all off the top of my head...

I went and had blood taken yesterday...I didn’t drink any water all morning and the lady couldn’t get a vein in either arm....and started eyeing up my hand and I was like.....ewwww that will be gross...but another lady came in and her exploratory needle poking found a small vein and I was saved! So note to self – drink alotta water before going to these appts.

I am hungry 4 lunch and it is only 9:45 am.
Ohhh 5th row Henry Rollins....I cannot wait til May 24th....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Why does Snood Dog carry an umbrella..... Fo Drizzle.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (thanks Mary hahaha)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

stunning information

Despite popular belief I am not always miserable...yeah I may not walk around grinning like Down ’s syndrome person but my non-smiling face is not indicative of a bad mood. I am also not chirpy and bubbly by nature but that doesn’t mean I am miserable either...quite the contrary actually. This week however...I am in the pissiest mood....today again...even carbs aren’t helping! I am not pre-menstrual at all. Ayla is in a decent mood and not partaking in any severe douce-baggery this last week of Spring Break...Graeme is fine and making all sortsa progress on his moving/packing...work is fine. So I am just going with it. I need more sleep. Need to go to bed earlier I think the rest of the week, like in bed and lights out by 10 pm.

Ayla didn’t know what beer goggles were so I was explaining it last night, the concept of how ppl appear cuter than they are when you are intoxicated...she rather liked the concept and will now spend the day scouring all dollar stores in Victoria looking for a pair of green St. Paddy’s Plastic Beer Goggles for her shenanigans this evening.

Do you ever feel like you know what someone’s capable of with 100% certainty? I don’t. I don’t think any of us should ever feel that confident about anyone else. I think all people, regardless of their level of openness and honesty have things they have done, want to do or think about doing that are deplorable by most ppls standards...myself included. No I am not posting it either haha I was walking to work, pondering how you really NEVER know anyone b/c you only get what they tell you and what you are able to pick up on your own...I think about those women who end up finding out their husbands have secret lives...another wife/kids and house they maintain...or a secret love for hookers...or are gay...how mortifying. I don’t trust anyone. I think all ppl are capable of heinous shit and I also think most ppl keep a lot of things private for fear of judgement or prosecution/persecution (ha!)...and they likely should. Self preservation after all. I do think some ppl have the capacity to be totally open with their partners or best friend about their stuff...but I don’t think it is the norm. If Graeme has a secret love of midgets or miniature donkeys I am not sure I want or need to know that sort of stuff...If he knew I was into midgets and donkeys then maybe he would feel compelled to share but I can assure you midgets and donkeys are not my scene. I have no idea why I am even talking about this. I am just bored.

When I am walking down the street and I walk past ppl walking along who are smiling or laughing I always assume they are laughing at me. I usually mumble fuck you and keep walking but logically chances are they are having their own private little chuckle over something completely unrelated to me...I do know this yet...I still – at the time – assume they are laughing at me. Gee, that doesn’t sound paranoid or self-esteem based at all does it?

My tea even tastes like crap today. Maybe it is me. Do any of you while tasting MINT get flashes of PICKLE taste in your mouth...? I get that a lot with mint teas...and this morning it happened with my Sensodyne Toothpaste...wtf is that about? Speaking of IN THE SHOWER practices...I was attempting to gargle the gasoline-like mouthwash in the shower the other day and it went way down my throat and I threw up. I throw up in the shower a lot. Is that weird? It isn’t a bad place to vomit if you’re gunna...it all goes down the drain on its own. That is important.
I am a champion vomiter. I wasn’t always. Up until I got pregnant in 1993 I was horrified of vomiting. Did anything to avoid it and luckily it was rarely ever an issue. Then pregnancy came along and good gawd...like it or not I was throwing up so much that it didn’t take long for me to get quite good at it...not BULIMIA good at it but good at it all the same. A few particularly good vomit moments stand out in my mind....the time I projectiled fish and chips...I was munching away in the living room and I hit a piece of rubber in the fish...those of u who know me know I have an issue with eating meat that has any sort of RUBBER quality...its INSTANT gag reflex and b/c at this time I was always on the verge of barfing the rubber in the fish was INSANE! I knew immediately I was going to barf so I jumped up and whilst running to the nearest garbage can projectile puked so impressively I kinda wish it was in Matrix Slo-Mo...That woulda been cool. My missile of grossness flew way far ahead of me and hit the side of the cupboard that the garbage can was next to... Then there was the time I threw up after eating a McChicken and a chocolate sundae....NEVER – I repeat – NEVER throw up ice cream...it is really really gross b/c it was still kinda cold and it felt really BAD coming up and the chocolate factor was rather putrid and to this day I can FEEL the chocolate up my nose. OK VOMIT PARAGRAPH OVER.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Smolder Please!! (hand is up & waving about)

{insert long sigh here}

I dunno why I am so cranky. OK I know why but I don’t wanna get into it or explore it really b/c I know it will pass and at the end of the day it doesn’t matter anyhow.

My boss just came and gave me GOOD news. Apparently the gov’t was going to get rid of all auxiliary employees and replace them with workforce adjustment employees who were recently laid off by our fine gov’t (I wonder why they did not do this when I was laid off...thanks jerks)...I just got the word that b/c I am a previous workforce adjustment laid off employee I won’t get the axe. How perfectly reasonable of them...seriously I am floored b/c it would not be out of the realm of gov’t stupidity to lay off someone who was already laid off and placed to find a job for a new laid off person. That was nice news...Yay for Barb my boss for going to bat for me. She doesn’t seem to think the person I am filling in for is in any hurry to come back so my position is safe so long as she remains enjoying her long term disability time off until December 2010...if she still isn’t back then I would just be extended...if she NEVER comes back (she has to be back by June 2011 then I could score a permanent job BUT I think she will come back in order to not lose it...No one here wants her back so they are all hoping she will just retire early. She was one of those employees who is never caught up, can’t get all the work done etc while as far as I am concerned this is not even a FT position...it could easily be a 4 day per week job.

I LIKE THE SMOLDER...smolder being the rate at which a relationship travels. You have your super spazzy intense shit (FULL ON BLAZING CHEMICAL HOUSE FIRE) that is so blissful and massive you can’t do anything but swim in the flames of it, completely consumed and totally debilitating. I did this this summer and while it is something to be reckoned with it was – for me – not good. I am already an intense personality, add in an unrealistic outside intensity like that and I am a mess. Can’t deal...nothing good comes of that esp when you end up with someone not on the same page and you both have different expectations and agendas. But then you get the smolder...I am loving the smolder. I hadn’t really paid much attention to this sort of thing before but b/c I had a back to back thing that was 100% different from the other the contrast was blazingly obvious. The smolder starts slow...kind of curious... careful stepping...moving along at such a pace that it kind of sneaks up on you when you one day realize that this person’s become very important to you and it was painless getting there...enjoyable even. Healthy. I love the smolder b/c there is so much more to come with smolder when you already feel so satisfied with the smolder you currently have. I am breathing in the smoldery goodness right now...looking fwd to the potential safe house fires and forest fires to come.

I got Henry Rollins Spoken Word show tickets this morning. WOOHOO! What a friggin relief...you know how I get when purchasing tickets....esp pre-sale. I got these a few days early from the Henry Rollins site...they are 5th row center...not bad and 7 bucks cheaper so that made up 4 the fact they charge 19 bucks to fed ex them so it was comparable to waiting a few days and getting them from the venue. Buying 6 made the courier fee invisible. Woot! Excited to see him again, it’s been a few years and I know he has all sortsa new material. Plus i will get to go with Graeme (and Dan & Donna + Arika & Jay)...Something to look fwd to in May alright!

Monday, March 15, 2010

yeowwwww

I am horribly distracted these days...and was pondering it earlier (as I was distracted from work once again). I have a whole new life starting in a few weeks, that sounds kinda dramatic but it is true. A whole new life. I haven’t had a whole new life since I had Ayla 16 years ago and my old life prior was in need of something....not sure getting knocked up was the brightest idea to initiate change BUT whatever haha

Now I find myself at a crossroads again...it’s kind of like when I was pregnant 1 month before my due date and the impending NEW LIFE THINKING was upon me, I would sit and over-think everything to death when I was pregnant, for obvious reasons, I was scared shitless quite honestly...this time I am not shitting the bed about it at all. I feel rather zen about it and I question myself on that b/c this is not my typical response to such a giant change, along with the limbo of employment and the pure torture of living with a 16 year old.

Could it be true...that this tattoo last fall that I got to constantly remind myself the not be a spazz and not let fear mind-fuck me has really infiltrated my head and subliminally done some super magic in there? Or maybe I am going through a phase? Time will tell but seriously...I still freak out about shit but for some reason I am not letting shit ruin me currently which is kinda nice...it’s the effects of Prozac (minus the hideous eye twitch) without the Prozac.

So yeah...you can call me Zen Jen...Jen of Zen...Jen of Zenville....or call me the Enchanting Princess Guenevere...whatever suits you.

Tattoo Convention was groovy, highlight being Start With the Cobra’s set....gawd they are good...even at 5 pm, in a brightly lit arena! Donna & Andrea were drunk, I was not (this is the usual situation). I was however tired as fuck from standing around all damn afternoon so by the time it was time for Bloody Betty at 8 pm I was ready 4 bed (gawd I am so hardcore) haha The Bloody Betty show was interesting...the FEAR FACTOR part of it was especially gross. The 2 ppl on stage drank skanky old dirty sock water...then cups with 4 live fishies in them (gag!), then a shot glass full of mealworms, then king worms (bigger version of mealworms...gross!)...then they ended it by smoking a joint full of pubic hair....

MY GOD. I watched in horror for most of it and was quite PO’d my camera batteries died back at the Tattoo Convention.

By the end of the night I was dead and went home vowing I was done going out for a few weeks...I did go see Alice in Wonderland earlier that day and quite enjoyed it...I know some ppl have been poopoo’ing it but I really liked it. Johnny Depp was great and having not read the book prior or knowing a lot about it I didn’t have any grand expectations so it was a nice pleasant undertaking.

Next Saturday Donna & I are going to see the Eves of Destruction Roller Derby wingding WOOHOO! We are excited b/c neither of us have been before and it’s gunna be FUN to watch hot grrls on roller skates beat the crap out of each other.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Mindfuckery 101

NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE TIME CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Capital City Tattoo Convention

Start With The Cobra....yeeeeowwww kicked my ass as always....friggin LOVE this band!












Andrea after the Bloody Betty show @ Lucky Bar...hahahahaha















Donna's stolen TP!!












Donna & Andrea














Nikki Neon the 80's glam metal icon of 2010













Andrea's tattoo outline and her rack

Thursday, March 11, 2010

don't kick gingers!

Okay the Ukrainian Easter Egging is pretty cool...but as a very impatient human it is something best done at home so while your eggs are sucking up dye u can wander off and go do stuff...it is amazing to me now that I’ve tried it how those Ukrainian eggs are so friggin awesomely designed b/c it isn’t easy...strategizing the colors and how the wax has to be applied etc...never mind the intricacy required to not SUCK with the wax part of it all...was good fun!

I am feeling much better...not 100% but not like the walking dead either. After work I am meeting J’Lo for dinner...the real J’Lo not Jennifer Lopez by the way...Jennifer Lomax from my old job...funniest emailer in all the land...such a witty lady...dazzling her co-workers with her wit and funniness since 1949!!! OK maybe not that long...

I have no plans for Friday (day off) and am just gunna play it cool for Saturday b/c that’s a busy day...there is the Capital City Tattoo Convention in town and Start with the Cobra are playing (LOVE THEM!) so I am gunna grab a movie prior to that and see them at 5 pm and then the same night at 8 pm it’s a Bloody Betty show at Lucky Bar...then Sunday I am helping J’Lo with her computer so the weekend is full of goodness!

Graeme is still slugging away at his massive amount of accumulated CRAP in his house...everyone send him good FOCUSSING VIBES so he won’t be distracted by shiny things and get off track! (He has to turf, repack and reroute his things to either storage or what he is bringing and u know how men are with this sort of thing...a woman could have had this done by now but....that’s ok, we afford men more time for this sort of thing because we understand they are slightly inferior when it comes to these tasks)...

I am meeting up with his sister and niece and friend on Mar 27 for lunch (without him present muahahah)...1st time meeting should be fun! They seem like an easy going crew and I am sure it will be a fun afternoon – Graeme seems to think it will involve a lot of talk from his sister about him doing embarrassing things as a kid....this is what I am hoping for :o) ha!

Ayla's headed home today b/c she has to work on Saturday....no fatalities on gabriola...woohoo!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

MY EGGS

All I have to say is...this is 3578375 x harder than it looks lol I had a really AMBITIOUS jellyfish.squid one started and half way through i effing dropped it and busted it so the FUCK THIS EGG is my poor attitude egg that followed...

Actually is a really fun thing to do with the wax etc but better to do at home so u can pop your egg in dye and then go do something rather than IMPATIENTLY (thats me!) stare at it waiting for it to be long enough to take out and keep going haha

I am gunna glue googly eyes on my jelly fish one....

MmmMmmMmMmMmm

Mmmm Kate brought over a slushee for me...and anti-viral kleenex (I admit im a little scared of that)...easter cream egg and a blingy PINK travel mug with a fucking mirror on it b/c i am just THAT vain hahahaha THANK YOU KATE YOUR FREAK! lol

I woke up SIGNIFICANTLY better today and im contributing it to the welfare brand fake listerine gargling i did last night...SERIOUSLY...that shit killed the crap in my mouth in one night...it is not a permanent item in the bathroom the minute i feel sickness coming im gunna gargle/vomit that shit!

I decided to make meatballs today and I was lucky enough to have a slightly messy moment with Kate as my witness which ended up with me covered in spag. sauce and it hitting the floor, stove etc...I was distracted by the slurpee sitting beside me I think.

Ukrainian Easter Egg Making class tonight...woot! Hot Sarah is hosting the class so Hot Donna and I are going...I think Hot Arika is too sick still...:o(
I wanna make my egg weird...and I admit im kinda excited to blow the yolk outta the egg...haven't done that since I was a kid...not sure how I feel about putting my mouth on an egg that came outta a chicken butt though...mind over matter i guess...

Ayla's still alive...having fun on Gabriola Island...they havent frozen to death yet...or been abducted by aliens....

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

blissfulness



this shit burns. yes it is only 3.99 but it will burn you. I will use it again anyhow b/c i need to kill the shit in my throat... I have had a nice night all things considered (that i feel like shit)...did dinner with nicki after work and had a good dinner and chat.
...came home to a quiet clean(ish) house, kid is on gabriola island for a few days...so ive been grooving to some new matt good stuff i scored via another fan and i hit the fucking motherload (thank you robert ryan!!! this was awesome!)


i got some cool mail 2day...a letter from michelle b. which i am so excited to reply to tomorrow in my snot stupor (i am staying home hallaylooyaaaa)...and 2 post cards from aunty pam from vegas!!! and one is butch cassidy and the sundance kid...in ear peed! funniest part is she mailed them in the US with canadian stamps and they actually delivered them lol you know how i love highjacking stamps and such...love it!

i have a hot tranny voice still and when i sing to matt good songs its extra funny and hilarious...and no i wont record it and show you...gawd.

shove your gov't lunches...

Weird how even though you can’t taste something yummy the fact u know its yummy makes u keep eating it regardless...I am eating crunch n munch...I can’t taste a damn thing but omg when I get a caramel-ly peanut the texture blisses me out! WEIRD!

So my mission to spread germs is going well...now that im blowing my nose 45x a hour im sure germs are crawling all over this office. I did offer them the option that I would gladly go home if they preferred doing my work to the possibility of getting my germs...They opted for the germs but said if I was not ok I should go home. LOL I would ever be at work if that was a real option! I am staying home tomorrow though...so expect alotta Jen chatter!

A piece of my tooth busted off today...that was nice...can’t tell if its tooth or white filling honestly but either way my tongue will not leave the weird spot alone now and that’s more annoying than anything at all...its like it has a mind of its own (shut up pervs).
Tonight my sickness and I are dining with Nicki at the Garrick’s Head pub...should be a good catch up session with her!

Ayla is on Gabriola Island at a cabin with a pile of friends...gawd only knows what’s going on there...I made her promise me that it wasn’t some retarded LETS DO HEROIN night and she assured me it was nothing like that...she wouldn’t lie right? HaHa She got run over by a bike yesterday...knocked right on the ground, kinda like Donna’s skateboarder experience only less severe...the bike rider was VERY apologetic which is always nice...honestly if any of u ever knock me the fuck down in your car, bike, board, whatever – u better be IMMENSELY nice and apologetic right off the bat b/c I have a feeling in those situations I would punch someone in the head {if I was not smeared all over the road that is} out of pure Death Squad Jen Impulse Reactionary-ism. (u like that? I made it up.)

WHAT DISGUSTS ME by Jennifer Conklin

You know what disgusts me today? Aside from my own mucous production and throat grossness...the fact that in gov’t ppl are being laid off and losing jobs yet for seminars or workshops (I dunno wtf is going on there) down the hall they have catered lunches. I shit u not...the budget was bleak but yet SOMEONE justified feeding a group of ppl a catered lunch...WHY? When I go to work I don’t get a free lunch...these ppl are govt employees, they get paid to be at these workshops as it is and they can’t fend for themselves for lunch...are u kidding me? I know, no one feels sorry 4 gov’t workers generally b/c the pay is decent but consider this...this is the only job I have had that provides me with enough $ to live in a non-crackhead apt bldg and not be destitute...I still can’t afford to drive a car (even if I wanted to) and I have no debt so my pay pays for rent, monthly utilities like hydro, cable, phones etc, groceries and ...there is even a little left over to go have fun or buy the kid shoes...I don’t drink much at all or smoke...I don’t have brand new stuff or the latest in gadgetry...I get by...I budget well and usually have enough $ to get me to my next payday without suffering too badly...but I am not some hoytee gov’t worker...SO DONT JUDGE ME lol I am really PO’d at these effing lunches though...

Speaking of jobs...I did not get screened into the EAW pool like I was hoping...I asked for feedback but the lady is away til next week...that’s rather demoralizing...that is 2 jobs in a rob I am more than qualified for and did not get...I will admit I was not on fire for either of the 2 interviews...but they weren’t TOTAL failures so I dunno...I did however get screened into the Clerical Pool so that may result in something in the future...being temporary makes me nervous as u can imagine...esp now that a large chunk of my savings is going to pay income tax...GRRRRRRR.

gawd

someone just cut my head off already....

3 more days and im off for 3....must get through 3 more days...3

3

3

3

3

Sunday, March 07, 2010

germatron

we have been eating butter for the last few yrs and ayla used all the butter and the emergency margarine in the fridge got brought out and both of us cant stand it so its gone in the garbage....
i dunno how thats all i ate for so long...it tastes so fake & gross.
barf

im sick as shit currently.
i have more social engagements this week then i usually do in a month.
3 days this week i have after work plans...yay 4 drugs!!

arika and her whooping cough self got prescribed friggin morphine this week...i think i would have really loved morphine when i had the evil WC...mmm morphine...sleepy timeeeeeeeee goodness i bet.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

death of a dream

Oat Bar Death

yeah ok so im not eating this little fucking rectangles of goodness anymore or making them for myself...i should have known something i loved so much was counter productive to my mission....

im going to spend the day mourning now.....fuck.

musings...

my old work pal Coral recently wrote something to her wee kidlet on her 2nd birthday that got me thinking - i wondered how i would feel reading something like that written to me by my mom...this of course will NEVER happen for me but if i did get such a gift from my mother i wonder how it would have changed me knowing that she felt that way about me...i really think that stuff shapes ppl - knowing they are loved and considered the absolute most precious thing in someones life rather than a constant inconvenience...i have a journal that i started when i was 1st pregnant with Ayla...i add to it as life goes....its interesting to read b/c unlike my other journals (i have one that's just my ramblings, one that I write to my brother and one to ayla) the focus is usually wonderment and me being amazed at whatever shes up to at the time...even her being a jerk to me is amazing hahahaha anyway...Coral...well done mama!

im sick with an oncoming chest cold (SO NOT MY FAVORITE AS THIS INVOLVES COUGHING)...and in uterus-hell currently.....i do find if i compare it to a gallbladder attack though i dont mind them nearly as much! ha!
im gunna hobble over to donna's later just for the walk and fresh air as i am convinced walking and getting exercise helps me when i have chest issues going on - we will drink tea and play crib and talk some shit...she is far more crippled up via the skateboard incident late weekend than originally thought...nice blood pooling in her foot, all bruised up her leg, crippled nicely...well done assface motherfucker skateboard dipshit.

im trying to force myself to drink plain tea. i find tea without milk and sugar revolting. right now i just drank a cup of green tea and lemon...barf. its just hot water with a fucking smell, thats it!! i taste nothing! i taste hot water....u can see its going well for me. :\
i just figure after 3-4 cups of tea a day i may as well have drank a bottle of pepsi and that defeats the purpose of avoiding pop so....really....duh.

omfg look...my kid knits...its so fucking cute i could die!

graeme is officially on his days off now...this means he has just over 1 week to sort through ALL his shit....throw shit out, sort, repack and get his crap all organized and tiddled up for his move here...he isn't bringing much here by the sounds of it but it is a daunting job as he has ignored a house full of boxes from his unorganized move a year or 2 back so...it will be good for him to get his ducks in a row and feel good about getting it done...it seems men have a much easier time with AVOIDANCE in these sorts of areas of life...now i cant talk as i have HORDING tendencies as well but have made good progress over the last few yrs to turf and avoid buying junk i don't need...it sneaks up on u and consumes you....i think G will feel like a million bucks once hes got that hideous task behind him and then can really focus on moving fwd and just getting to his last day of work April 2nd.

i need an armpit transplant....i have skin graphing under my arm and there is a piece thats right on the crease between my arm and my side (whatever u call it)....it often gets torn via bra rub but recently my underwire STABBED it so bad its been hideously sore for days to the point i have to have a bandaid on it to avoid anything touching it {yeah imagine how fun it is to remove a bandaid from your arm pit....} - anyhow i was thinking if i ever see a dr again i should look into seeing about getting it clipped off and sewn up so its not there to be ripped anymore...G said i should NOT attempt this myself like i did with my home eyelid surgery (he said it with true desperation in his voice which pleased me) and i wouldnt as that area is way too awkward and sensitive and i demand to NOT feel it happening - plus its too big to monkey with...so yeah im not posting a picture of it and scarring u all for life or anything but for some reason felt the urge to share. (sorry)
there is so much stuff going on in march...bands to see, birthdays...preparations!!!!! what shall i do!!!
spring break is upon me...
i was home from work sick yesterday and was inflicted by my rearrange-itis disease and redid my whole living room...even moved my desk and CLEANED IT! lol OMFG its a miracle! aunty fern thinks my gnomes are creepy but she thinks everything i like is creepy so im not offended (haha)...my gnomes are soooooo cute though!!
i did notice something about my best monkey statue though while moving him....his legs were CRACKED...now he did fall once but he landed on his head and after inspection was fine....so i dunno HOW it came about that hes all crippled now {cough cough ayla and her friends cough cough} but either way i glued him all up yesterday and he will be fine...i need to get a thrown for him, just the right size so he sits with no pressure on his little legs........hmmmmmmmm

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Dear Oat Bar

I love you. Why do you have to be for sale at Starfucks? I hate Starfucks. I hate giving them my loonie everyday for you. I am gunna look online and try to find a recipe to make you myself so I don't have to be one of *those* ppl in Starfucks every morning.
 
Eternally Yours,
 
Jen 
 
PS: I love eating your corners the best!
 
 

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

you can't polish a turd

the provincial budget is crap...total smoke screen crap...they think the general public is stupid enough to fall for the few token dollars tossed at health care and education as them being all gawd damn interested in anything of value. total bullshit.


fugggg.


im premenstrual.
i cant stop eating badly this week.
its like an evil being has invaded my head and prevents me from being sensible.
on the pill this was much LESS of an issue i am noticing.
i think im gunna have to really be diligent about evening primrose intake and see if a few mths on that helps at all...i fucking HATE my head when it is consumed by irrational hormonal bs.
i also have facial leprosy that is NOT pleasing to me.

my shoes have been bugging me lately....i havent had em even 6 mths and was feeling like they were already disintergrating...grrrrr so i investigated and my friggin insole was obliterated from all this walking...ive never worn out an insole before, shoes YES but not insoles...weird.


here is a shot of Andrea's hawt ass for you all...you see....pictures I have of her butt on flickr get hundreds of views and ppl adding as faves all over the place...added to galleries etc... so i got some more on the weekend to see if the new ones would garner the same attention...yes in 1 day 128 views HAHAHA cracks me up!

guy...what kinda flowers are these? rather...what kinda tree is it...? 

gawd spring break starts next week for 2 weeks...gawd help me...that's a long time for my kid to be outta school...a long time for me to survive. ha!


can't believe it is march already....gawd this year is zipping by already...guess that's what happens as u get older - time goes by at warp speed...as a kid a week felt like a gawd damn eon...now a week is a blink of an eye in adult time...
which means i have not very much time left to do the shit i wanna do in life....dammit...TIME CRUNCH!!!!!!!

Monday, March 01, 2010

Monday Leper Face Jen

I enjoy the CBC website for news articles on my lunch break; especially the comment section of each story....cuz I get to thumbs up or thumbs down ppls opinions and this makes me feel good. I also love it when I comment & seeing the thumps up and downs I get...they are usually thumbs downs on the Olympic topic, this also makes me feel good b/c then I know I am not a mainstream dipshit (no offense to my mainstream dipshit friends, I love you and do not think less of you and hope you don’t of me for disagreeing with you).

I just ate enough barley to feel the whole DTES and I feel quite guilty about that. I am such a douche.

POSITIVE ASPECTS OF CO-HABITATION
by Jennifer Conklin

1. Someone to snuggle with all the time
2. Someone to buy milk when I forget
3. Someone to talk to rather than making myself mad over-thinking social issues and life in general
4. A healthy distraction from myself
5. No more 3rd Wheel Complex
6. Positive reinforcement from said co-habitator
7. Fiscal assistance
8. Someone to watch movies with, home and not
9. Handy logical thinker on premises to assist me when I am irrational
10. Someone to laugh with and laugh at
11. Someone else to cook sometimes
12. In-home walking partner
13. Impromptu making out
14. Hopefully someone I can argue with and not have to fear I will be killed in my sleep (AYLA)
15. Conversation
16. Fun, mutual mocking (sometimes not fun as well MuHahahahah)
17. No more long phone conversations @ night after work
18. Someone to answer the phone when I have a bath or shower
19. Did I mention coitus?
20. Possible mom/daughter mediator in time...??

See....I can be POSITIVE...u fuckers!
Even when I am afflicted by facial leprosy like I am today...I am lunching with some peeps from my old job after work...should be fun...even with leprosy.... :|

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus,

Thank you for making the Olympics finally end.
And thank you for making sure Canada owned that gawd damn podium b/c that will be a great comfort to me (and many others) when we get laid off again this year once the bills start rolling in.
Oh and thank you for making sure Donna wasn't fatally wounded when she was mowed over by a skateboarder on Sat. night.

Love & Dead Puppies,
Jennifer xo