Monday, April 30, 2007

MmMmMmMmMm BBQ Steak...

I watched Saturday Night Fever this morning...ha ha ha I dont think Ive ever seen it from beginning to end is actually a good movie...i love the scene around the table where the mom hits the dad, the dad hits the kid then the mom and the mom hits the other kid...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAH HA

i dont work until 3 pm so ive been humping the
pooch all morning...had a nap...
ate some breakfast....did some la la laaaaa

as per usual I will fuck around until i realize i have to HURRY to get to work on time. Dork.
The next pet I have im naming it JOHN TRAVOLTA. Im not kidding. Dont let me forget. It's too bad Mr Travolta is a Scientologist....cuz I think he is cool otherwise.
I was out on the patio last night after work....the sun comes around to me at supper time so it was perfect...then some bastard was BBQing and I was drooling for a fucking BBQ steak.
Thats truly torturous, to smell BBQ while you know youre gunna eat something gay like itchi ban for dinner bc yer too tired to live.
I think I will bum Tracey's little hibachi thing so i can BBQ this summer...even BBQing a piece of chicken would change my life, i know it. Then once she gives me a lesson with the propane (cuz im scared of it) maybe i wont be so chicken shit to get a real BBQ someday.
Anyway....I have to leave in 2.5 hrs so I better start mentally preparing.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

plant love

I love my shamrock plant. It makes me happy. I love how in the day time it opens and when its dark it closes...its like a pet, its awake and its asleep...but not so much like a pet that I feel compelled to flush it down the toilet.
What are these little seed pods called?

deer in your head lights

Nice sunny brisk day here on the complaints from me, I have nothing against the sun so long as it doesn't give off more heat than I decide is reasonable haha

Got some groceries today bc Adrienne and Tracey are coming over for snacks and some games...Ayla is having Niamh over as well so she wont be bored outta her mind.

Not sure if any of you heard about this or not...I just heard about it recently and was quite shocked at the fact i hadnt actually heard about it. This is the day and age of communication and technology and gawd knows if we have to hear about Anna Nicole's death saga then why not something like Malachi Ritscher's protest suicide? Imagine yourself on fire in protest of the Iraq War and the media (or the puppetmasters that make the media sing and dance) decides its not worth covering...gotta hear about Anna Nicole's drug habit and weight loss, gotta see Britney Spears cooch, but sorry no time for an actual INTERESTING story.

Read about Malachi Ritscher HERE

I always get all dramatic and say shit like im gunna light myself on fire, now whenever the thought enters my mind I think about Mr Ritscher.

Ive listened to Matthew Good's AVALANCHE cd about 4 x this afternoon...I think it may be in my top 3 favorite albums of all time.... now that hes shared his mental illness struggles before, after and during the making of that makes every song a little more...interesting...intriguing...madness and the like make for good art...Guy and I were talking about it, I asked if being an artistic genius meant you were doomed to be mental but he pointed out quite rationally that all sorts of ppl are mental...bus drivers, moms, accountants, farmers...just no one hears about them unless they lose it and kill someone...and its sure the number of ppl suffering from a type of mental illness is staggering...bc i bet MOST of the ppl never get help and just live with it.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

if I catch u eating shark fin soup im gunna kick u in the crotch!

This morning I watched REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE....I had never seen it before or anything James Dean was in so it was a trip. He was weird in the movie...I will have to see his other 2 to see if its just HIM whos weird or if it was the character...weird vibe.
The morning before that (the AMC channel plays some interesting movies) I watched a movie with James Garner and Doris Day that I was HIDEOUSLY entertained by (MOVE OVER DARLING)...

Tonight went to see SHARKWATER and per usual im disgusted with humanity and greed and if im ever at a rest. that serves shark fin soup im going to melt the menu with my lighter.
Work is interesting at the moment...lots of changes, peripheral drama, etc. I will be doing some shifts at another store in May to help out so that will be interesting considering I detest working at other stores esp when i have to cab there....cuz im rich u know haha
Had a great meeting with the market manager the other day, quite enjoyed it actually, was nice having a visitor in that u didnt feel like they were looking for things that were wrong....I think im gunna make some dinner and watch survivor (I taped it wooohoooo)
Look at me, im fucking boringgggggggggggggg

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Here are my five questions from Barb:

1. Would you rather be twice as tall or half as tall as you are now? Why?

well, that's gay b/c being 11 ft tall would be freakish and so would being 2 ft 8...
so if I HAD to choose I guess Id rather be taller cuz then I could see SUPER GOOD at concerts.

2. What is one material possession that you could never give up?

I don't have anything I couldn't live w/o obviously...if my house was burning and I could only take one thing I would take Ayla's baby album.

3. What would you do if you had a month off work, no responsibilities, and $100,000?

omfg, heaven! id be on a plane so damn be touring the UK, Europe, Japan, New Zealand....

4. How would you rather die - drowning or by fire?

drown - although ultimately id prefer to die whilst sleeping or in a coma.

5. If you could trade bodies and lives with anyone in the world (living or dead) for 24 hours, with whom would you trade?

hmmmmm....George Bush....I could fuck his shit up so good in 24 hrs!!! I COULD STOP A DAMN WAR! (that'd be the goal anyway)

Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me!"
I will respond by e-mailing you five questions.

I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Monday, April 23, 2007

blogger wont lemme post a pic or spell check, sorry

Well...what can one say when one realizes they are so insignificant that words fail to describe the pure smallness of one's self?

Ever get those moments where it is CRYSTAL clear that you are nothing but a dimple on the ass of humanity and once your dead, you're just dead, and that's that. Your memory only lives on as long as the ppl that knew you or the art you created while you were here. Or if you were completely nuts your LEGEND can live on a little longer but usually gets screwed up by ppls exaggerations and lies.

I drempt my computer started on fire due to a fan issue...bc i had a fan issue i had the comp case off and had 2 BIG fans set up BLOWING on the computer to cool it...yet it started on fire anyway. In the dream I got to do something ive always wanted to do which is use a fire extinguisher....using the PASS method we are trained at work with:

P - pull the pin
A - aim twds the fire (duh)
S - squeeze trigger
S - side to side

In the dream it was super i wanna try it 4 real and make a giant foamy mess. In my dream it was 4 am and I KNOW you're supposed to call the fire dept even after you extinguish a fire yourself but being the considerate person I am I didnt want to wake the whole building so i opted not to.

You know what I hate...ppl come in and say they have a couple bucks in change, will I take it...yeah ill take a couple bucks usually if you arent an asshole about it but then out comes handful after handful after fucking handful. 7.00 in fucking nickels is NOT a few bucks you inbred little fucktard....I might have punched her in the mouth if it werent 4 the glass barrier.

Im glad Incubus cancelled their May show in Victoria and its now August. I was mad b4 but Mays gunna be so incredibly bad at work I wouldnt have fully enjoyed the show cuz id be bagged tired...looks like ill miss Ryan McMahon in May too...unless I am super hardcore and go after work at 1030 pm...that will be a mood thing.

Ayla is ranting how the washing machine RUINED her sweater zipper and how now she has to waste 20.00 replacing it and how the washing machine is ruining her life...etc etc etc. ha ha ha
I am laughing here bc if I laugh out loud she will stab me in the heart with a pen and i will perish.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

May is the Devil

so check this out.

im losing my assistant to another store due to a staffing issue district wide...

which leaves 4 of us at my store...and during may 2 ppl are away on vacation, with a bit of an overlap...meaning there is 2 of us left for part of it, me being the only one able to open and close.

{insert hysterical laughter here}

i can not tell you how truly happy i am to be medicated.

it is the only thing that will allow me to keep my job.

muahahahahahahhahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahahaha hhahahahahah hahahahaha

Thursday, April 19, 2007

i gotta get a tan

Imagine being deserted on an a child. You have lost your sight and your hearing and your ability to speak, you don't know where to go or what to do so you just lay in one spot.

I find this little person and since the depths of my empathy and guilt have no limits this helpless thing becomes MY responsibility! So the whole dream is me desperately trying to feed it and make sure its not dieing which i have NO idea b/c all it does is twitch and writhe around, probably b/c its starving to death as the island dogs get THEIR FAIR SHARE OF THE FOOD.

Ohhh yes it was a fabulous dream.
Anyway...moving on with the day...

are u disturbed by chickens with no beaks? Just curious.

Tonight gay shawn and i are hanging out and going to see a flick...Blades of Glory or Sharkwater or something.

Gotta catch up with him...I'm sure he has shit going on, whereas I do not haha I never have anything to tell him as far as changes or things going on in my life bc I'm pretty mellow and I don't do too much, no drama WHATSOEVER etc and that's the way I like it!
I hate to bring it up b/c its freaky deaky overkill on tv right now I the only one sickened by the media response to the Virginia tech shootings? 33 dead....yes tragic (cant help but imagine this happening at my daughters school)...quite...but wheres the horrific news coverage of the 300+ Iraqi's killed yesterday? Wheres the coverage of the trauma those ppl and children experience walking past dead bodies to get to school and work everyday? And why does no one care about the lingering effects of this on those people who survive?
I am finding myself becoming more and more removed from local "tragedies" when it is so painfully obvious no ones giving a shit about bigger issues out there simply b/c the brown folk don't count...yep that's what i think....western media/ppl aren't too worried about the brown folk in other parts of the can tell bc if a white tourist gets killed in one of these countries its all over the news....

The whole thing sickens me.

Its hardly being talked about aside from a handful of ppl willing to be VERY unpopular during wartime.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

oh such a sweet maggot-y death...

Right now Erica O. is rocking out to Social Distortion at the Victoria Curling Rink!
Erica....did Mike Ness take you up on that blow job offer? MuHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Well today I hired someone only to find out due to an upcoming shake up im losing someone sooooo im still fucked ha ha ha <-- thats maniacal laughter.

Does anyone watch *LOST* ? I had no idea it was such a whacky show. Adrienne watched it at my house...she was secretly trying to corrupt me and make me a watcher!

I have tomorrow off.
Im going to the library.
isnt that unheard of?!?!?!?!?!?!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

coinkidink? or divine intervention/a failed attempt to make me a believer?

Im messing around with the camera and taking pictures of all my jesus crap....b/c Tracey and Adrienne brought me back a funky jesus/cross/crucifix from mexico, its all black and rather "sculpted", quite cool looking, too bad about the theme or id actually hang it in the livingroom. I seem to be collecting this weird stuff it is a lovely addition. So im taking pictures of some of it all to post with the new addition and my buzzer rings. Now...NO ONE EVER COMES HERE...especially mid morning. So i answer it as all my pictures are uploading to the computer...Guess who it was? It was Corrina....she is a volunteer and wanted to know if I wanted to learn about the bible today. NO KIDDING!
I fucking howledddddddddddd into that speaker and said HOLY HELLLLL NO WAYYYYYY!
This is the new one....oooooh aaaaaaaah....

Monday, April 16, 2007

just so ya know

if I have to sit and listen to a hungarian woman talk for 6 hrs again i might kill myself.

the end

Saturday, April 14, 2007

horny old lady alert

ok holy martha! when did daniel johns grow up into a hottie rock guy?

Im sure it makes me a horny old lady considering I thought he was yummy 10-12 yrs ago and I dont think he was outta Jr High yet haha


I have absolutely NO taste buds.

I could be gnawing on a turd and would have NO is weird when u have no smell/taste buds when you are makes food really UNIMPORTANT...thats a first 4 me let me tell ya! haha

Monday I have to go to Nanaimo for some fucktard training thing...the Market Trainer woman is highly fucking annoying...she has a hideous french accent that makes me want to stab her...cuz its mixed with some weird ass european accent as well so her english is like burning yourself with a cigarette, RIGHT IN THE EYE!! Ohhh the JOY!

Imagine me being trained to be a MENTOR hahah hahah hahahaha gawd the concept kills me.

Jen the Mentor. Tormentor maybe.
How the hell is everyone?? Ive been caught up in my own personal snot fest and travels so I am feeling kind of out of touch with everyone....drop me a comment u cheap ass bastards and lemme know how u are!
Ayla does her MS Walk tomorrow...she is PUMPED...esp since she scammed Aunty Pam for 40 some dollars and it made her donation count high enough to get a tshirt for the walk hahaha

Death Count: 0

I didnt fact my 1st day back was fine....aside from my manly voice and a bit of backlog checking DCR' not complaining at all....Donna did well for such a newbie, its too bad she was ready to light herself on fire at the end of it all hahahaha YAY DONNA! I will buy her a treat!

Sadly we have some bigwig "VISITORS" coming Tuesday so we have to get everything tickityboo 4 that, which I not much for impressing ppl...especially with fakery...I can assure u the place is never as TIDY and clean as when big wigs visit...I resent the requirement. Why cant they show up and just see it like it REALLY is....being usually fucking chaos b/c that is our business after all haha Fuckers.

Aunty Pam, you forgot your shoes again. I will send them back with JerriAnn in May OR will mail them, you decide...if they are your favorite shoes ill gladly mail em since u got stuck mailing my ring and Aylas phone charger back. ha!

Due to an injury to guitar player Mike Einziger's hand, Incubus has been forced to postpone their tour.
The show originally scheduled for May 14th at Save-On-Foods Memorial Centre has been postponed to Monday, August 20th.
Tickets purchased for May 14th will be honored at the door.
Refunds are available at point of purchase until May 31st.

Fuck! I hate summer. It's hot n sweaty. Grrrrrrr


Friday, April 13, 2007

84 years of living....

RIP Kurt Vonnegut.


Dear Ms. C.

Thank you for your follow-up email. I have checked with Victoria Station again and I am sorry to say that your camera/case is not amongst their '' lost and found '' articles.
The agent has your phone number and will contact you if it is recovered.

Danielle Lavoie
VIA Rail Customer Relations

Ferry Pics of the Ungay Variety

Harwood Island

Ayla & Uncle Jimmy


to the first person who can get here and kill me b4 im to leave at 8 am.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

someone send me a stick of dynamite!

if i didnt have even one iota of self esteem left id take a picture of myself right now with toilet paper jammed up one nostril....

u know, the one CLOGGED nostril that will not clear but dribbles snot out continually, driving u fucking mad.

Snot Patrol ... cooler band name than Snow Patrol

I am home.
I am buying stocks in KLEENEX when I recover.

This is green b/c I am a snot producing mofo.

Im reading about Nancy (sid n nancy) and she was the worst teenager to walk the earth. Now I will call Ayla Nancy when shes pissing me off.

Monday, April 09, 2007

mouth breather Jen

I have a head cold....

but at least I'm not at work right? RIGHT?!
That is me being an uncharacteristic optomist. ha!

So despite my sickliness I have discovered the game CLUE. i haven't ever played it b4 and lemme tell you what I've learned playing CLUE with my kid. SHE IS THE DEVIL! Oooo her cunning manipulative nature makes me swoon with pride and glowing happiness and at the same time makes me pee in my pants a little. I of course created a little Jen System to track who had what etc and it lead me to realize Ayla was MUCHO FREAKY DEAKY I'm on to her now and actually won a game woot woot!

She has been a SPECTACULAR PEST to me whilst here at aunty pams...its like shes trying to get me in trouble with pam so she bugs and bugs and hits me and bugs and follows me and nags me and cries wolf 100x and on and on....I think they are seeing a little bit of what shes like when they aren't around finally...being that she is the devil and all.

Went and hung out with my mom for 4 hours was your typical visit:

She talked about herself and her job the whole time
She made me go into her sewing room and pick through her boxes and boxes worth of CRAP

She tried making me take home an iron but I refused cuz I have one but now I wish I took the electric knife instead
That is it.
She didn't inquire about me, Ayla or anyone else....I guess I should be glad she didn't hand me a mu mu she sewed for me though so.....I did manage to weasle a few towels out of her and she was bascially pleasant so im not complaining.
I just blew my nose and I swear in the Kleenex there was something that resembled an early pregnancy....much like the thing the other day that I blew outta my nose in the shower and it startled me b/c it kinda went THUD when it hit the bottom of the tub.
Ohhh I love booger talk.
I am gunna get me some good drugs today...the coma kind so I'm not up peeing 6x a night.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

pretend turkey, here we come!

I won nothing!!! Deanna won 30.00
Tonight is pretend turkey dinner....its turkey BUT its a no bone/stuffing in the middle pre-fab turkey hahahaha Cant wait!
I can wait however to go visit my mom today at her house.
I am getting sick....throat feels like I drank a cup o' glass shards...

Jerri & Zed...he just got off work, thats why hes dressed
like a worker smurf!
Ohhh Maddie, everything is so funny isnt it!?

Friday, April 06, 2007

Nooo Messagesssss

I had a dream about work last night so I think its only right that I get an extra vacation day to make up 4 it....

It is good friday of course...its good b/c jesus said so i guess...and we all know he was a righteous dude.
I do think Jesus was a real guy...but what if he was just some tard like David Koresh (u all remember Waco, Texas dontcha?)...and christianity snowballed into the widespread farce it is today all b/c some NUT had some ideas?
Thats my religious sentiment 4 today.
I need to go 4 a walk today, down the street...this is the street I grew up on, in my mind anyway. My grandparents lived here 1st down the road, and I moved here from Alberta to live with them bc my mother is mental. I was in grade 9. I had spent my summers here with them from about the age of 10 and LOVED it here....this road is right on the ocean, you get the view, the ocean smell, the is lovely. Their place is gone now...someone bought it and redid it in such a way it looks completely different so walking by it doesnt stir up much in the memory dept sadly.
I remember once driving somewhere in BC as a little kid and seeing the ROCK/MOUNTAIN SIDES along the highway and it blew my mind....having spent almost my whole childhood in alberta and saskatchewan (even though I was born in BC)...then driving through Hope BC and seeing the landslide thing and being CERTAIN all the red rocks were red bc of the blood from crushing

I am still in office supply delight...what is it about office supplies? I felt like I was getting a crack fix last night going through all those boxes, picking what I wanted....The felt markers nearly pushed me over the edge!!! haha

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Did someone say "Rabbit Stew" ?

Here is Maddie...she is getting big but is still so tiny @ the same time...if that makes any sense.

She is a sick lil runt at the moment unfortunately but these were snapped previous to her
battle with the booger.

This kid makes great faces. On demand too...ask her for a mad face, she makes one. Ask her for her excited face and she makes one whilst throwing her arms up in the air for added fanfare!

This dog is not anyones, it just goes so perfect with the picture below it I had to post it hahahahahahhaa

Ohhh Maddie hahahahaha

Dodged the LUNCH WITH MOM bullet today since she didnt feel like it. Whew.

Ayla is hanging with her pal Chloe....and better not be up to NO GOOD.

Deanna came by tonight, toting 2 crucifixes & jesus bandaids for me! (click the picture to see it BIG!)

SWEET ACTION ~ and if that werent enough I scammed some serious office supplies from my aunt...good shit too...that she got from a clean out they did at work.

It was like xmas around here for me!