Friday, April 27, 2012


I love Fridays at work. No one sits beside me and I can play music at an audible level. I also love the cherry blossoms right now...I love how the branches hang so strained under the weight of the delicious looking blooms. When the wind blows them I am sure they will snap off...but they don’t.
I am not chatty these days...not much to say...not to say I ever have anything earth shattering to say but I usually just speak when I feel compelled to and lately I just don’t feel compelled. The impending doom of summer – while I love this spring weather – does not please me. As it turns out – despite my best efforts to keep my head above water – after graduation next month and all that goes with that I am not off the hook like I thought....looks like Ayla must get her wisdom teeth out so I may as well just buck up and do that now and it will be over with. It hasn’t been particularly pleasant for her as of late with 1 tooth giving her problems so the sooner the better...I do see a little light at the end of the tunnel though....eventually. haha
Logically I know I need to turf my land line telephone but I just can’t convince myself to do seems so welfare to not have a home phone...and while I have free LD with my cell phone I hate talking on my cell phone...h.a.t.e...i.t. Perhaps when I upgrade I will feel different but cell phones are not traditionally able to be cradled in such a way that frees both your hands to do dishes etc. Anyone who has ever talked to me on the phone knows I am usually doing dishes while talking b/c then it doesn’t seem like work at all. There is always the hands free option I guess...headsets are so goofy though...I dunno...the redundancy is not lost on me...having 2 lines...maybe a cell upgrade and headset of gheyness is the key? Ugh...for as much as I feel like talking on the phone these days the whole debate in my head seems ridiculous.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Farewell to Assholes

Another rally...and such a great one too (Anti-Enbridge Pipeline Rally).  I made a vow that if anyone brought up chem trails while smoking a cigarette I was leaving (this happened at the last rally I attended for the Anti-HST Campaign)...but luckily this was a well organized event – all the speakers were decent and on topic. The turnout was great, exceeding my expectations and the signs were – as always – entertaining and to the point.

I was, however, disappointed that of all the people I know in Victoria 3 were being my kid. It astounds me that an issue like this does not lure people out of their living rooms. I am about as hermit-like as one can be and really detest crowds and anything social but it wouldn’t occur to me to not go. Just saying you are going to go on Facebook or “liking” a cause does not make you a genuine eco-warrior. It pisses me off that all people seem to care about is the latest iPad...or whatever craze is the flavour of the week...while there is some serious shit going on in our province and being passive is what allows this crap to continue.

I feel as clueless and helpless as I think most people do in regards to ‘what to do’ about environmental issues and the like...and also feeling really...was my being at that rally going to change ANYTHING in the world yesterday? No...But collectively yes. If everyone felt it was no use and stayed home no one would have shown up...the fact that there were well over 1000 ppl at this event with signs, speaking and marching in solidarity...that IS something. I cannot articulate the collective spirit one feels at these events – it changes something inside you if you are open to it. Will it ultimately change the outcome? – I do not know but it beats the shit out of sitting at home playing with your iPad instead of standing up and loudly proclaiming a short term money grab is not a wise investment for this province with the stakes so very high. 
I am sure it is rather evident that apathy or plain old ignorance is my pet peeve of the day...I am glad – however – that I knew 3 ppl who kid being one of them and of course the trusty Lesbos Amanda & Erin. Well played ladies.

Aside from that I kept pretty busy this weekend...hung with Alex a bit and then had a great afternoon with Kate and her 7 yr old son Ethan. He is a his mama. We hit a few stores, had a few laughs, ate some good food...perfect day out really. I met Kate when I was a little kid. My step-dad was her dad’s BFF in the 70/80’s. Our parents would get together for visits, usually in Regina @ Kate’s house. I remember thinking her house was SO clean and everything seemed so new...her bedroom was particularly girly and perfect (I am sure she is laughing reading this) where as mine was plastered with posters and FAR from girly...I have had the odd ‘girly’ moment...I recall once being desperate to wear my mother’s heels as a teen...I would put them on and walk around the house and after about 5 mins would kick them off wondering how the hell anyone was supposed to have a life wearing the damn things. I have always felt like a total fraud while attempting girliness...which is why it is not something that ever caught on with me. I have a few theories about this but...I don’t feel like venturing such a topic when I am already feeling rather MEH.

Funniest thing alive is how my kid is about as girly as a girl can be as far as appearances – if I looked like her at her age I cannot imagine the shit I would have gotten into...seriously. Yay for being awkward and plain! WOOOOHOOO!

Last night I got into a debate with a moron on FB  who I have been wanting to delete for some time now...I am not even sure why I had him added to my FB list to start with...momentary lapse of reason I suppose. Anyway - the conversation - while brief & with witnesses (CRINGE!) - was a good reminder as to why I did not talk to the twat for 10+ years. A standing pillar of evidence that some people never do change...they are what they are at the core - good or bad - and never evolve into anything beyond that. A timely delete/block on FB really is as satisfying as punching someone in the face...well almost anyway.

I am drinking tea without milk this fucking annoying...I have never drank my tea without milk in all my life...but I didn't realize there was no milk until I had already invested my favorite creamed honey into the tea so I cannot waste all the bees hard I am drinking it...JEN CONKY: BEE WARRIOR.

Today is the 1st day of my personal anti nail biting campaign...I figure if I say it out loud it will help me stick to it...I WILL NOT BITE MY NAILS GAWD DAMMIT...OCD BE GONE! I have done it before for years at a I just need to get myself past the 1st stage...once they grow and are symmetrical I am far less likely to mess with them.
Personal struggles of even the smallest nature are a consuming deed.

Saturday, April 07, 2012

This is how my vacuum looks at someone else's house...someone with a fireplace and nice flooring. haha


The weather is gorgeous. The sun is shining and it is hot...if the wind dies down for a few moments to let the heat penetrate your skin. The cool wind makes this the best kind of day for me...sunny and cool. A delicate balance of perfection.

I have made myself a list for each of the 5 days off I have this week - to ensure I stay busy and don't forget things I want to do. I am a total scatterbrain these days - forgetting simple things I never needed to remind myself about before.

One of the MAJOR tasks I have to do this weekend is transfer home videos to my PC...I started yesterday and have got through 3 tapes so far...I have about 12 sitting here to go through. Due to the amount of space it takes to store the transferred video to digital I am having to be selective which is very time consuming b/c it means I have to go through it all and pick parts to transfer as I go...tedious but at the same time fun b/c I have forgotten so much it is a pleasant surprise to revisit things. I had NO idea I made so many recordings of A. starting at about 10 mths old. It is heartwarming to watch her booting around at 9-10 mths old - far too small to be walking yet...there she was - walking. Cutest thing I have ever seen - yes she was/is...
All the xmas video is hilarious...the conversations we had...she amazing ability to pretend to like something she got for xmas...her funny commentary...her sarcasm...her genuine nice to watch all of it. The hilarity is so completely unhinged I cannot even believe it...having forgot it all it entertains me even more to hear my own reactions on tape...busting a gut laughing at something she said or did...

I have also made a vow to myself to thin out the "collections" I have at the far I have a laundry basket full just off of one living room shelf...the Jesus collection is time to thin that out considerably. Needless to say my house looks like a bomb just went off.

My vacuum died last weekend. I have a special relationship with my vacuums...I love to vacuum...seriously. I like vacuums with some weight, I like wielding that tank around the carpet making it look pristine and new...this usually means you spending at least 200.00 on a vacuum which is a fine investment in my eyes b/c I get so much joy from it (wtf - I know...?) but I have 200.00 to spend on shit all right now...this is the time I always dreaded...the child tax credit is gonzo now that A. is 18 and the child support as well (though I have it in the works for it to carry on til the end of June but I haven't heard anything about the extension going through for 2 mths) so I am down 380.00 per month and my expenses haven't changed. Such is life...thankfully my income tax credit will cover Grad...then...the morph shall begin...A. working full time means she takes over her cell bill and yoga bill, pays a little rent each payday and all that other grown up stuff I am sure will shock the shit out of her like bus passes etc. Life is not cheap...even when you live it on the cheap.

Anyhow...(ramble much?)...I got a vacuum today...Lisa said if I hated it she would buy it off me on payday since she needs one too - what a GREAT DEAL! I can try it out and see if I like it...I get it home...start assembling it....NATURALLY there are fucking parts missing...why on earth would I assume something so simple would just be SIMPLE? Ugh. Annoying. Hopefully Hoover will be on top of it and send me the shit without a lot of drama. It is usable though so I tried it out and like it well enough....I am sad the cord is only 27 feet rather than my 33 foot one I am used to...and I got a vacuum where it winds into it self...handy...until of course it breaks and then you have this cord that won't rewind and there's nowhere to hang it on the machine...HA! Trying not to think that far ahead. We will see how I feel about having a bag less vacuum after I have to clean it the 1st time.

Tomorrow is dinner at Tracey's for A. and I...should be fun with Lani & the girls there...they are always entertaining. Tracey is also a fantastic cook so whatever dinner is it will be great. Looking fwd to it.

Maggie bought tickets to the July 13th Tragically Hip/Sam Roberts outdoor show in Victoria...I AM EXCITED to hang with my peeps (Pam, Jim, Mags Sid & A.) for such a fun time...sure to be a kick-ass starts at 4 pm so even if it is hot and nasty it won't be so bad...(always thinking ahead!)

I ditched the Victoria House Concert where Ryan played on Wed. I was far far far too cranky...naturally I regret it but the thought of socializing was worse than being murdered.