Thursday, April 29, 2010

They're back!! Yay!

holy shit

my pet birds just got inside the office and it was a mass of flailing gov't workers for a little bit....i did get them out ever so gently though....(i thought of u the whole time Guy, wishing the Bird Whisperer was here to tell me some amzing bird facts as he called them to his hand and set them free out the window withno wing flapping and spazzing) my pretties are gone from their spot and im scared theyre traumtized and wont come back... ::POUT::

it was hard not to feel bad 4's not like they are crows...who would have made a TOOL to get themselves outta such a jam.....

April 29 2010

This day can suck on my balls...Seriously.

Spawning children has become a friggin mystery for me...I think back to the good times of little wee loveliness and recall with fondness the overwhelming fullness of heart I had over my spawning function.
Now...I ponder wtf the point was? I know I know I have said this before; it is like being in an abusive marriage that you desperately want out of but u have some almost unjustifiable tie to the creature causing you the worst grief of your life. The button pushing, the guilt trips, the communication fuckery, the blatant all out lack of give-a-shitness twds everything you ever did for her in the last 16 yrs...b/c simply you are a piece of shit parent with nothing to offer her....while her BFF’s father is a fucking hero who I am sure she peddles a bullshitterific sob story to (he can’t stand me any more than I can stand him so I am sure he loves listening to poor little poor girl Ayla whine about her horrific life) and he likely laps it up and gladly doles out ferry fare and the like in order to feel good about helping out the kid with the nasty cheap mean mom. HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OmFg...every facet of Ayla is fucking drama. She tires me. My life tires me. I don’t even want my life right now...I want to hop on a plane, go to Cuba and live there, getting a tan for once in my life while I pay guinea pig bingo for bottles of booze on the beach...that’s right...I want a fucking tan.

On the UP SIDE...some mysterious person sent me some movie passes in the mail. This is beyond a nice gesture b/c movie passes are like crack for me...I assume this person knows this about me. Now I recall having a conversation with someone in the past about cashing in air miles and getting movie passes but I forget who...I don’t recognize the writing on the envelope and there is no whoever you are...SHOW YOURSELF so I can thank you by taking you to a movie hahahahaaaaaa is a wonderful thing...thank you.

Now back to being a negative asshole...

Oh wait...not quite yet. New work development...I GOT BIRD PETS! The other day a few birds started hanging around...they like the reflective stuff on my window i guess, like looking at their pretty selves and they come perch on the sill, knocking/pecking their beaks on the glass...I kind of like to think of it as the birds are knocking to come in and visit me but I am sure they are just testing it to see why the reflection exists. I can see there is a nest being built in the dead vine crap outside my window so I am a little excited...I admit it. I am simply amused, I know.

No word yet on OPERATION GALLBLADDER EXTRACTION...gunna see if they will yank fallopian tubes out at the same time...not sure if that’s typical practice or not but it’s the only way I’ll get it done, if they are in there already 4 something else.

the truth

G should not get outta bed while I am getting ready 4 work in the morning.

The End.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

April 28 2010

Lotsa birthdays today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY brother-in-law ROB, NICKI & LAURA in the UK!!!!!

I am wearing pants today that I think I will regret in about a half hour...just a guess...u never really know about a pair of pants until you've walked to work in them...and spent the day hating their guts. Dreaming of burning them on your balcony. Regretting spending even a dime buying them. PANT HATE.

Holy shit it is 7:15 and Ayla is blow drying her hair in her room....this is a revelation...Ayla is rarely up before I leave every day and is consequently late 4 school damn near every I wonder what the occasion is?

For lunch today its left over pasta sauce with spaghetti squash and cottage cheese.... MmMmmMMmmMMmMMmMMmmm

My cat made barf noises this morning....and there was cat barf evidence this time....looked like hardly digested

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

April 27 2010

I love the week b4 my period - dont you?? I am so pleasant and fun...always a joy to be around....when in reality im not actually more miserable than normal I just lack the filter I usually have and find it impossible to not just BE how I feel....all social graces go out the window...all human kindness is abandoned...super fucking awesome.

Meeting Nicki after work for chow and a old job gab session...she is good at making me feel lucky I was laid off in December.

Ayla's year end dance show is May 29th...Donna & I shall attend and toss our extraordinarily large panties on stage to embarrass Ayla...ok not really but every year the thought crosses my mind. Back down to 1 dance class for Ayla next year...shes disillusioned by hip hop and wants to focus on modern only.... as long as she goes I dont care. Starts her new job May 5th...woohoo! Took me til my 30s to make the hourly wage she is making at 16 now...rude! haha

Missing work last week has be a little behind @ work currently...should be all caught up today....yesterday kicked my ass...I didn't even take the usual 30 mins for lunch - just went hardcore...

Monday, April 26, 2010


Slept a lot this weekend...caught up from the Wed. night shit show....

Cooked a lot today...baked spaghetti for the cripple and her minions (that's Adrienne haha), then a roast for sandwiches for the upcoming week...then squash...the pork chops and baked taters for dinner...mmmmm Funny thing is I forgot the squash til about was still in the oven (I had turned it off at some point although i have no memory of it) so I had to get up and deal with idea why I was thinking about squash as I tried to drift off to sleep...

G has an interview today at Black's Photography....fingers crossed...would be perfect @ Hillside Mall...decent walk to and from, very convenient & right up his alley.

Ahhh gotta make lunches!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Gallbladder be gone

...all it took for me to finally decide to get my GB removed was having a 12 hour attack rather then the usual 4 hr attack...and u know its back when I - at hour 8 - cab myself to the ER...I don't care to relive that shit show of an experience...all I will say is next attack I will be at the ER in 10 mins and demanding drugs intravenously for 12 hrs...the end. I can only imagine itll take a year on a waiting list to get the sucker until then I will avoid avoid avoid GB TRIGGERS...which is anything good 2 eat.

The mood in the house this evening is  - how shall I word it...awkward and silent...oh the joy...I am getting a lot of reading done at least...this Reena Virk murder book is fucking with my mind...See I could have been in such a situation as a teenager...I was a bully, fought a lot, was into psychological torture of my victims...even plotted a murder once that involved a bridge...I'd like to say I had the sense to not be so fucking stupid and shit as to go through with something so heinous...even then I did have a sense of right and wrong on a grand scale even if it did lack in the every day shit...The most fucked thing about this book is I can identify with the victim and the idiots who beat/killed is most conflicting and mortifying...I am looking fwd to be done this book so I can read something a little less intense and real life...might go for the Maeve Binchy Irish Romance book I just got a hold of out of the laundry room book exchange.

During all this GB bullshit I missed 2 dentist appts...I don't MISS appts...I just don't so this is most bothersome to my already guilty when I get told I may get charged a 50.00 fee even after telling them it was a medical issue it pisses me off a little...I am not sure I will go back there if they actually charge me...I don't recall signing anything saying I agreed to that cancellation fee thing...I don't recall signage in the office either...all I know is I won't pay it...if I willy nilly forgot b/c I was an airhead....ok I would pay it...but...they called me at 530 (my Thurs appt was for 5 pm and my Friday one was for 11 am)....I was high as a kite and agreed to come to the one I had booked for the following day but promptly forgot (dont get me started on why they split up the cleaning and the exam pisses me off)...anyway that's my sad story...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


My cute and painfully young bus ride pretend boyfriend was not on the bus this morning...then just as the bus neared the usual stop I hop off at the driver turns on to another street, like he is on a different route....?? We were all like WTF...and someone asked him why he didn’t go down to the usual stop at Broad and Yates and the guy gets all pissy and says “I am going the way this bus goes!” HA HA HA Ahhh yeah you fucking newb! You just went off route ya know it all! HAAAAAAA!!!!! I love that shit.

Raining pretty heartily this morning I gotta say...not that I mind of course if given the choice between hot and crap weather. I am back into reading the Reena Virk book “UNDER THE BRIDGE ( thank you for the loan CORAL!)...having a teenager I find it most disturbing – that skewed mentality. I am a little more than shocked by the gang culture involvement in the story thus is no secret that I am pretty much NON GANGSTA...not only am I oblivious and socially uninvolved in that scene I find it all rather....stupid. I understand it; I can see its place in society and see how ppl (and what kind of ppl) get drawn in etc but to me getting sucked into a gang is no different than getting sucked into religion. You stop thinking for yourself and take on other ppls ideals and living a life that to anyone rational is fucking ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that gangs just like religious sects will drop u like a hot fucking potato for whatever reason they see’s all very conditional...while a church may not pop a cap in yo’ ass they will still excommunicate you and you may as well be dead to them.

Growing up on Klahanie Drive in Powell River I was exposed to a lot of kids my age that were Jehovah’s Witnesses and as you all know they excommunicate like nobody’s business if you are not particular incidence of this left me feeling really gross when a woman with kids and such was not living up to the JW standards she was booted out of the church and her own family stopped talking to her – she moved into town and pretty much had to SNEAK any communication with family members who were willing to still be in her life etc...It all seemed so....silly, even at the age of 14. As William Shatner put so eloquently – I can’t get behind that.

Phasing out white rice at home...and going strictly brown rice except 4 sushi...I really LOVE white it...and i don’t mind brown rice at all but it’s not the same but that’s good b/c u won’t see me gorging BROWN RICE at all – I don’t like it that much haha which is the whole point essentially...aside from he obvious benefits of giving up anything WHITE really. It is tough to give up white foods...think about it: potatoes....rice...sugar...bread...pasta...ALL THE GOOD STUFF!!!! I don’t mind whole wheat pasta either but gawd damn it is not the same as the white crap pasta that’s 4 sure.

My guts just grumbled so loudly I think the lady in the next cubicle heard and is politely ignoring the awesomeness of the vocal skills my guts have. She is very POLITE after all and wouldn’t find it amusing like most of my friends would.

Gotta say the new GONZO MAGAZINE is looking really sweet!!!!

I am page 26 & 27....for the record MICHAEL EASTON is MATT EASTON (I have no idea where my head was whilst typing that up b/c I KNOW his name is Matt Easton....I think it was my subconscious revenge on him for rejecting my Facebook add. LOL) - I will correct that for the next issue and all I see is one typo (not bad considering the usual list of shit that makes me insane) – and my name is spelled right! WOOHOO!!! Dean & Brad really have made massive improvements to the look of the magazine....kudos to them!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUGAN!!!! (Dugan is Hot Donna's dog/son) I have a sneaking suspicion Dugan's dad Dan picked his birthday...420....hmmmmm.

Monday, April 19, 2010

symmetry is everything

Note to self: be less efficient on Fridays so Mondays don’t suck so bad. I have nothing to do today thus far expect 1 item and my EPDP (employee performance & development plan). I hate the EPDP. Some a-hole got paid a decent wage to spend over a year developing the layout and program for this online atrocity that is about as user friendly as a tampon made out of thumb really is lame and no one refers to it EVER so it’s a waste of time to do for staff, managers and whoever else is involved. I think they had bigger plans for the EPDP but as most things in gov’t it didn’t pan out.

BUS RIDING MUSINGS: There is the most beautiful creature riding my morning bus at the moment...he is early 20’s and stupidly hawt. He has really long dark blonde hair, rocker boy attire, headphones...appears to be going to work in the AM (always a good thing)...he is the new highlight of my bus riding in the mornings. I stare at him a lot...he probably thinks I am his long lost birth mother or something. :\ Sometimes I wish Andrea was on the bus with me so I could tell her I have imaginary dibs on him!
There is a small little man who is on my bus sometimes...not often THANK GAWDDDDDDDDD...I want to punch this man in the throat. Not just b/c he looks like a crazed asian serial killer but b/c he blankly stares at me sometimes (it isn’t just me, I think he would do the same to whoever sat across from him) and it makes me feel violent and creeped right the fuck out. He isn’t staring like “oooh me wants to fuck you” no no this is that blank endless “im a creepy guy and wanna stab you in 88 places” kinda stare. I nearly yelled at him the other day b/c he stared at me for an excessive amt of time from 3 feet away and I was on the brink of losing my shit on him. WHY DO PPL HAVE TO BE SO EFFED UP!?


Lunch with Alex on Sunday was good. She is officially nuts though. Her fiancé Kelsey is a Zombie Fiend like Graeme so I think a Zombie Board Game night is in the works. I can only imagine the retardation that night will produce.

I managed to not make any phone calls this weekend BUT did manage to get laundry done so that in itself is amazing! Went with Donna to see Ryan McMahon play on Saturday at the Spiral Cafe (fuck I hate that cafe) – he was fab as always. Sigh. GO RYAN!

OHHHH!!!!! My kid got that cool job she was gunning for! WOOOHOOOO! Thank gawd after paying for a Criminal record check and the Food Safe course it would have sucked to not get it! WELL DONE MISS AYLA! xo

Sunday, April 18, 2010

hugh jackman should marry me

SWORDFISH was on last night....I lurveeeeee Hugh Jackman...sigh.

It is a gloomy Sunday favorite kind. Perfect day for Alex and I to go for a stroll...

Yesterday G & I went and saw "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" - a Swedish movie with English subtitles (I enjoy those)...a great thriller...I highly recommend it.We wandered home and by the time we got here I was sweaty n gross b/c it was kinda muggy out and now its triggered my summer DREAD...argggggggggggggggg! Summer is coming...I can't stop it (again!) and it makes me sad. lol I do this every year...its like a disease. I will surrender...I just like to go down fighting  I guess.

Today I am going for a girl walk with Alex...Dallas Rd I think...good day for it...Ayla was at some dance last night @ UVic that involved neon paint splattering - G was kind enough to point out while I was worried about her in general that partying with college guys was likely my bigger problem - argggg!!!!!!...she was at her destination by curfew so that's good...ooooh if only I could fast fwd a few yrs.....

Friday, April 16, 2010

24 mins

I am 24 mins away from freedom....for 2 days anyhow lol

One of my top 10 pet peeves is dust. No idea why i neededto share that but gawd dammit I hate dust all over my shit. Annoying.

I discovered a FOUNTAIN right across the street from my work on the grounds of the Legislative Bldg and I am tickled b/c come summer I am using that fountain to cool off on my lunch breaks seeing as this effing archaic bldg I work in has no AC and faces the sun ALL DAY...I am NOT looking fwd to the summer even more than usual now. I wont be swimming in it or anything....but I will likely be inclined to soak my feet in the cool water....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I hate summer hate hate hate

Anyway...temper trantrum - complete.

Mmmmm noodle box for supper??? mmmmmmmmm

Thursday, April 15, 2010


I think the immense fun I had tormenting Guy about sticky cinnamon buns and such tired me out...Guy has a STICKY THING ISSUE...cant be around kids with sticky hands telling him i was gunna send his grandson over to eat ribs and then braid his hair was just a fine fine idea in my mind...anyway...I cant stay awake today...I woke up this morning with a screwed knee and back from sleeping all messed up...and I am sure thats not helping - itll pass though thankfully.

G made chili for dinner last night...pretty good...Ive decided to let him do dishes and cook. Turns out I have martyr tendencies i wasnt fully aware of and I am having issues reliquishing control of everyday tasks. Imagine! Anyhow...I like not having to make dinner.

Matthew Good gets married (or is already married) today...this is a good thing really...despite my prior drama i have no wild ideas about marrying him myself...and could not be happier to see that his 1st/starter marriage to twat face jenny beth fucktard did not ruin yay for Matt and Rae! HAVE BABIES PLEASE! WOOHOO!!

Ryan McMahon this Saturday - looking fwd to seeing him again now that he is a daddy... :o)~ That is about all the plans I have for the weekend....oh and I wanna try and hang with Alex @ some point and G may go see a flick...depends...

Ayla's learner license came in the is so CUTE with her face on it!!!!!!! I was all impressed and having your face imprinted on hard plastic is somehow magical!!!! Whatever shes now in the ICBC DATABASE FOR LIFE! WOOHOO!

Can u tell im discombobulated? I am...I am unaccustomed to having no ALONE time...its fucking with my head.

I think I will walk home after work...just b/c I feel like I need to stretch out!

I just ordered myself 2 red pens for work that cost 1.42 each and I feel guilty as shit.


im sorry - cant post...this is my pre-work morning poop time.

good bye.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Matthew Good is getting married tomorrow.

Mmmmm Titty Raisins

I quite often find things in my bra....popcorn, raisins, nuts, crumbs, etc. It is pretty typical...yesterday i was eating raisins at work and one went down and I couldn’t find it and wasn’t wanting to do a FULL INVESTIGATION since I was at work and its moments like that when a co-worker stealthily walks past your desk and it appears you are GROPING yourself. I thought it may have hit the ground and bounced out of my sight too.....I forgot all about it until about 8 pm last night while sprawled on the couch –I dug for it and THERE SHE WAS!! A salty moist and warm raisin...couldn’t get Graeme to eat it...but we did discuss how I would like to make something with it and give it to someone I don’t like to eat just for the snickering factor.

Watching the 2nd season of “THE IT CROWD” currently and it makes me laughhhhh omfg...I love it. (ADELE A COPY IS COMING FOR YOU!) Graeme also found the US version of the show so that should be interesting to watch and see if it’s even half as funny and clever as the UK version I am in love with. Then I think it will be a Father Ted Marathon...I am due to re-watch Father Ted....

I can’t wait until my kid is a grown gawd I grow weary of the consistent shitty treatment from her...which I know I should not take personally but when you invest every waking moment into someone’s safety and well being it’s a little fucking difficult to detach in such a manner – I do not possess the ability to do that. I just don’t. It’s the get the fuck out of my life and leave me alone I can live my own life and don’t need you hovering being a pain in my fucking ass shit that gets me the most...Ohhh pardon sure fucking manage to PUT UP WITH ME JUST FINE when I am doling out $ for FOOD SAFE and other such needed shit...ohhh yeah then she can treat me like a human being but if there is nothing to be gained – I am a pustule of grossness in her life. It is like being in an abusive marriage I a degree...I am the 1st one to admit I over-think about a lot of shit where she is concerned b/c my own experiences as a teenager/kid are still very close to my emotional surface and I am horrified shit will be repeated inadvertently so I am always so fucking annoys me. Ugg. It shall pass as per usual I am sure...until next time and I will post about how fucking pissed off I am again about the exact same gawd damn shit I have little to no control over....

Poor little Sidney is sick sick sick...his birthday yesterday was a bust...he has a terrible barf flu and has been generally sounds pretty serious for such a little guy...I don’t think Ayla ever barfed for a week straight b4 THANK GAWD id have lost my gawd damn mind!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CARA TODAY – she is 2...and im sure her mom Connie has some special little wingding planned....and CAKE! Mmmmm cake. I could eat a whole white cake with chocolate icing right now...I COULD!!!!!!!!!! Omfg I could. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm cake...cake is my is a friend to my mouth but not to my ass.

It is so quiet in here today...ugh. And slow...I was so bored I read through someone’s adoption folder and found it very interesting that the couple make about 20K each per year but they have 300K in the bank, property in India and 4 other accounts that total about 100K – and ZERO debt with a house worth 800K. Ummm HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! How did ya manage that!???!?!?!?! I am in awe of other ppls financial lives...mainly b/c mines so fucking lame and limited I guess...I remember asking ppl as a kid how much money they made and my mom and step dad always scolded me for asking...I didn’t understand what the big deal was then or now really...ppl are so weird about bucking up that info...

Ryan McMahon is here this weekend – WOOHOO - ....will be nice to see him – this will be the 1s time as a dad! Ohh I wonder if Cathleen will come too and bring the baby??? Hmmmmmmmmm I better ask although I am sure she won’t I can dream.

Got a letter and goodies from my Aunt Isobel yesterday...she is the sister of my supposed biological father...I send her pictures of Ayla every year and write a few times a year to keep in touch...she sent Ayla a belated 16th b’day card with 50 bucks in it so that was more than generous considering we have never met before. The letter was full of bad news sadly...lots of death in the Chalmers family in the last few years...a few of my aunts and uncles I never met passed away along with my grandfather I never met...etc...I don’t know any of these ppl so it isn’t particularly emotional at all for me but I do feel a sense of loss in the fact that it’s just adding on to the pile of stuff I will never ever know about that side of the family. When my grandparents died I immediately had 384758937589374 questions for them and knowing that they were gone and never would be able to answer them really impacted was all lost. It is like that when anyone dies, they take a lot of personal insight and info with them and as a person who is a gatherer of sorts I find this most disturbing.

Shawn is off to Cranbrook...exploring a VERY important job opportunity that would take him there for a year or 2 if he decides to do it...while I am happy 4 him I am also mortified...selfishly so. ::pout::

I want lunch...LUNCH!!! I have been wanting lunch for a gawd damn hour already......

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Squidlet is 1!!

I am learning a lot about myself. It is rather interesting finding out that you are not much of a coddler type...or all that accepting and unconditional as a human or near as needy as I thought hahahahhaaaaaaaa It has been really weird...I am still adjusting to sharing my house...and life really...I find it particularly interesting that I have such inner conflict with it – it is truly shocking to me...I apparently don’t like to share just like when I was 4. I am sitting back and seeing how it all works itself out b/c if there is one thing I have learned in my life it is DONT PANIC hahahaha My mood changes minute by minute on a good day know. Still trying to figure out what the dynamic of the house is now...

G is settling in although I am sure he is bored out of his gourd for the most part as I won’t let him make a mess (HAAAAAA)...he is now allowed to do dishes and is a fabulous garbage taker outer. Oh the DIGNITY! HahaHa

My little Ayla grrl seems ok but....I do worry...this living arrangement change is a big one and I can’t help feel that she is very uncomfortable in her own house and this troubles me. Not the best time in a kids life to have to work on that sort of thing when so much other stuff is going on – this I the same time it is what it is. She’s not much of a talker’ll be interesting trying to get a peep out of her that isn’t an end of the rope verbal assault. I am having a huge amount of inner conflict over all of this too...just to make the whole thing even more FUN you know!

Walked with Donna & Andrea last night...felt super good...going to make a point of keeping that up at least 3-4x a week even is a good time for me to listen to music and reflect. Donna booked her tickets to Australia and Fiji for November...WOOHOO!! 20+ days of vacationing in the sun and fun! DONNA DO NOT GET EATEN BY A SCORPION FOR GAWDS SAKE!

Seeing Connie again was fab (I can’t even recall if I have posted about this or not) – she should be back home now preparing for Cara’s 2nd birthday that’s coming up this week...YAY CARA!! You are nearly 2 and haven’t fallen to your death yet...that kid is a friggin MONKEY! I need to email Connie and get the low down about her trip and how the girls fared without her for 5 days!

Another monkey turns 1 today....My favourite little boy kid Squidlet! Sadly he is sick as all get out for his birthday so no party for him. He apparently took notes from Ayla who was always sick on her damn birthday and messing up celebratory plans!

I have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch....fug. And oranges. Remind me never to have baked beans for dinner when you live with someone. Thank you.

cool scar

OK I admit it...I enjoyed the Zombie board game...and I also enjoyed playing Settlers of Catan.

I do usually like board games though – it is generally a mood thing, sometimes I just don’t feel like it as it is rather social and all – I hate the game CRANIUM. I hate any game that tells me I have to do charades or anything like that...NO EFFING WAY will I partake!

Went and saw my broken up friend Adrienne on Saturday....ohhh mannnnnn I was starting to get all misty looking at her all broken legged and crippled... :o( I will say the pictures of her incisions are AWESOME....she got some killer scars on the go from the surgery...she got plate and pins and screws galore put in there to fix her shattered leg – she kinda bionic now!...and she is 100% unable to bare weight on it at all for at least 6 weeks...I am not sure wtf I would do in her shoes as a single person...she is completely unable to do much 4 herself...if Tracey wasn’t there and not working right now I am not sure wtf a person would do! Anyway she is being taken care of very well and I hope I get called to babysit so Tracey can go out and do stuff if amuses me to say I was babysitting Adrienne for some reason lol

Monday, April 12, 2010

guessing game

can you guess which one of my friends just emailed me this:
"They tell me I have a degenrating disc in my spine. I've apparently worn it right out. It's the one that flexes during intercourse apparently?"



I hate Monday.
Played Zombies & Settlers with Shawn and Amr last games...
I am feeling out of sorts...still adjusting...flailing really...
not sure how all this is supposed to work so im just coasting....
Seeing Connie Friday was AWESOME...not long enough sadly... :o(
I will blabber more later....

Friday, April 09, 2010

Friday April 9 2010

Good morning my pretties...
Clash of the Titans was okay...the story is awesome of course but the movie itself is mediocre. The 3D is crappy so I would recommend seeing it in 2D only.

I am drinking tea...listening to my ghey soap opera...wishing I was asleep...but no I couldn't go back to sleep b/c I need an arm transplant...that's right. My arms hurt like a mofo every morning b/c I can't seem to find a comfy way to sleep so I don't wake up with them asleep and dead...been about 6 mths. Ugh.

Cohabitation is going flying death threats...still getting used to the new u know I am accustomed to spending large amounts of time alone after all and this is a rather HUGE change. lol Ayla is alright...must be weirdest for her I think...seeing as being 16 is weird as it is never mind when a big home life shift such as this is going on. So far she is being a very good sport. She did her food safe course on Tuesday and did not die....but found it boring as all get out but is glad it is over with.

Connie & Jay are in town today...theyre here from Alberta for a family wedding and TODAY is my allotted day with her! WOOHOO! We will hang out today and then do dinner @ the Japanese Village tonight...with Ayla in tow even! WOW!
 You know a place has good food if Ayla agrees to come along hahaha

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


Steady as she goes...this afternoon...she isn’t hurrying herself along at all sadly. I can survive 3.5 hours of damn near anything though.

I find it rather unamusing that at 39 years old I still have no idea what my place in the world is. I don’t necessarily believe any of us have a”place” really but...I still feel like im the wandering know, not quite sure where you fit...not quite sure what path to take...meanwhile as I ponder this crap time if flying by zip zip...too busy surviving to focus on something of real value. That is not some oh woe is me line either. We all have coping skill levels, I always thought I was a fucking superstar with coping until I analyzed the crap out of myself one day and took a real look at what behaviours i adopted in order to cope with life in general...and I went “Ooooooo I am not such a great coper after all!” Some ppl drink, drug, fuck, eat, sabotage, cling, manipulate, deny, ignore, break down completely whilst getting through shit...such a plethora of shitty coping skills out there for us all to choose from. So yeah I may not be an alcoholic...or a heroin junkie but I am certainly not the poster child for positive coping skills. I wish I had a little bit of that denial disease...I wish I could ignore the shit around me and pretend it isn’t an issue and go on my merry deed a...without a thought of the real issues at hand that I cant fucking solve any way or the what if’s I am plagued with...

I would kill 3 kittens of cuteness & a little old lady in a wheelchair right now for a nap. Just curl up in my bed with my pillow and drift the land of comatose brain meanderings & puffy white clouds of hope and goodness. Sigh...gawd sleeping is so good....

I have had this asian woman calling me at work for the last month and a half...she speaks very poor English but you can tell she is a nice person b/c she manages to laugh at herself...and she says me name in a such a way it warms my heart...

Jen- EE – fer

I am familiar with how she says my name b/c she calls me A LOT. She has told her all about coming over from china as a girl and how she would like to take me out 4 lunch if she is ever in town b/c ive been so nice it her...I can think of nothing more agonizing but lunch with this woman...not b/c she isn’t nice or whatever, she is...but the language barrier is so i bet she’s really old and smells of moth balls.
I am doing the head bob....must go run around!

boring a-hole

neurotic [njʊˈrɒtɪk] a person who is afflicted with a neurosis or who tends to be emotionally unstable or unusually anxious

Yeah I am – let’s leave it at that.

I have a head cold, a neck crink & im on the rag...I guess u can’t expect much outta me this week. I am just a robot – getting through the days....with bad hair to boot! GAWD LIFE IS SOOOO HARD!!!!!! {I say this as I roll my eyes at myself}

Connie is in town Friday...we have reservations at the Japanese Village for dinner...always a good meal...I am hoping Ayla will join us 4 dinner but I am not sure. Not sure what the rest of the night will entail, a lot of boisterous chatter I am sure and the men sitting back shaking their heads wishing they were playing Wii.

I am the most uninteresting person in the world...I am gunna go eat worms now.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

save me a spot in the line up to hell

I am sure I am going to hell for this but whatevah. READ HERE

If you are 86 and some MALE calls you claiming to be your grandkid and says he needs 10K b/c he is in jail or whatever and you assume its your grandkid (who never calls) simply b/c he is "soft spoken"...and you take 10K off your VISA and send it to him: YOU ARE AN IDIOT and you should have to pay it all back. Stupidity is not a get outta jail free card lady. You made a very costly are embraassed and feel stupid - as you should - it was stupid. But refusing to pay? Are u fucking kidding me? Why b/c you are dumb and made a stupid choice? Gimme a break. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

Can anyone imagine sending money of that amount to someone without probing the shit out of the person and verifying it all to be true, grandkid or not? (I am not defending bank greed either, we all know banks are dirty effers)

I am about to get raked over the coals on the CBC comment section over this one and I do not even care...that old lady should have to pay it back - shes lucky they waived the interest 4 her...if the bank caves and forgives it they are fucking retarded and setting themselves up for all sorts of new fraud.

I spent 5 yrs working at Money Mart...refusing to send old ppls money to Nigeria even while they had hissy fits in the the lobby saying they knew the person personally and it was for a charity, LIEING through their teeth and blah blah blah...old ppl are NOT immune to common sense...this shit is just stupid.

Someone raised a good point...if a 30 yr old got duped and did this people wouldnt feel near as bad for the person and likely wouldnt expect it be forgiven...HELLO AGEISM!!!! If it is expected old ppl cant deal with their $ properly or make sound logical decision then why do we expect that they can vote? Drive? Have a say in anything? You cant have it both ways...


I have a crinked neck...I must have slept really well last night...and not moved!

OK I will admit it...I thoroughly enjoyed staying up til midnight last night watching National Geographics WORLDS MOST DANGEROUS ANIMALS last night with someone lol It's I wandered in and out of consciousness, waking up to myself making a weird sleep noise and him sitting there grinning at me....fuck.

I have not found the cat vomit yet...I am concerned.

Ayla is doing her FOOD SAFE course today...GO AYLA!!!
She texted me yesterday saying "thanks mom im the only kid that got nothing for easter"
OK wtf...16 u still gotta get yer kid easter shit? seriously?? the 35 bucks I spent at walmart on her didnt count?? or my paying for her food safe course? heathen! naturally i went and got her a little easter stash cuz honestly it didnt occur to me she wanted anything...see had i got her chocolate 1st she gimme shit for buying her chocolate...and when i don't...well you see how it works.
Its a funny age...the transition from kid to non-kid...when the kid portioned pressies start dwindling...its a rough life man...rough!

Shawn came over and fixed our router (haha) and ate G's nummy apple pork roast with us...was GOOOOOD...zombie board game night shall commence Sunday....gawd help me. I just know these 2 fuckers are gunna end up ganging up on me.

Monday, April 05, 2010



i finally bought a salad spinner after many months of not having one.
i can die happy now...with dry lettuce.

in re: to Guy & Donna's matching answers

Never Give an Inch is a phrase coined in Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken Kesey.

Grab his hand and never let go...never give an inch.....cuz the bastards will try to rip you apart, rip out your heart...don't let 'em...never give an inch!

cohabitation advice part 2

MAUREEN: Jeez, I'm divorced and have never tried the living together thing again....ah what the hell, we did live together for sixteen years.  Don't let the little things drive you insane - toothpaste in the sink, wrappers on the counter, a coffee cup on the table....those are the things that will drive you nuts.  Oh, and if he runs around on you, cut his balls off the first time ;)
AUNTY PAM: always remember that he’s not the perfect man for you, there is no such thing as a perfect man...well you know how I feel about jim some days but for days of endurance you end up with the very best friend you could imagine...keep a small piece of yourself just for you though, that’s important!

TOM: Don't worry about the small things, in the long run they are irrelevant, focus more on the person, the time at hand.
Enjoy each others grossness, it's funner that way!

AUNTY CATHY: I don't really have any...but what I do start as you mean to go on...I mean, just let it all hang out...and be yourself..people treat you how you teach them to treat're screwed up,( I mean we all are, right?) he's probably screwed up so it will either be a grand passion or go down in a blaze of glory...ahahaha
but you already know all that and more...I think he will pass the biggest test the moment he steps off the train....if he doesn't laugh or run screaming in the other direction because of your red (from wiping your nose so much) nose and your alleged "bad hair", I'd say he's a keeper...

KELLY M: don't get worked up about little things, and there will be lots of little things. Save arguments for things that are worth arguing about and....oh yes...lots of blow jobs...ok maybe the last part is wishful thinking

1) No one is perfect for you. They WILL do things that piss you off. There are really only two options - deal with it, or lose them.

2) I have to try to NOT say all the scathing, sarcastic things that pop into my head. For example "Why the fuck would you think that was a good idea" or "Do you even know me?"

3) I don't think going to bed mad is always a bad idea. You'll find in the night that you end up wrapped around each other and wake up in the morning to remember why you're with this person and feeling warm and safe.

4) While (when you get to this point in your relationship) farting in front of your loved one is both funny and humanizing, pooing while they're in the room is just crossing the line.

Monday April 5 2010

I love a monday where I dont have to work. Love it.

Graeme arrived w/o incident Saturday...Hot Donna was kind enough to provide taxi service so it was a relatively pain free experience getting his stuff here...then a half hour later (he is such a good sport!) we went to Lucky 4 drinks and music...
The band CENTAURS of THE UNIVERSE were costumed appropriately and were a real hoot! They didnt suck either which is shocking considering how ridiculously funny they were to watch...
Start With the Cobra kicked me ass AGAIN...fucking loved that show...then G and me wandered downtown to hop a bus drunk - him not.
Once home he was stuck listening to my drunken babble...keep in mind he is wasted tired and I am Mz Chatty FuckFace - even after bashing my head on the wall getting into bed (clearly my spacial perception was affected by the $4.00 beers) I wouldnt shut up or stop laughing about some unfunny shit...I eventually felt sorry 4 him and got up so he could sleep b/c I obviously was not ready 4 I got up and ate some crispers (ugh) and downloaded the pics from the night and drunk facebooked...haaaaaaa. gawd.

Needless to say in the AM I was feeling wretched...I was already sick with a cold and in midst of hideous period horror and then added hangover to the mix....yeah yesterday I was a walking piece of shit headache. What a catch! lol

Today - however - I am a little better I think...I took a neo-citron b4 bed so I was a corpse until 530 am which was nice...then around 6 am we both woke up to the sound of the cat throwing up only we couldn't FIND it....I will likely step on it later. My carpets are all the color of cat vomit know...camouflage.

We didn't do much yesterday...we walked to pick up a few groceries....that was the extent of my tomorrow....ugh........................

Friday, April 02, 2010


such good friends and family....hahaha (I will add more as they come in...)

Aunty Pam:
always remember that he’s not the perfect man for you, there is no such thing as a perfect man
well you know how I feel about jim some days but for days of endurance you end up with the very best friend you could imagine
keep a small piece of yourself just for you though, that’s important!

Jerri and Zed:
Zed says " at least one of you, must have virtually no personal possessions".
Jerri says " good luck with that"

Maggie & her husband David:
Maggie- Buy a brightly colored eye catching laundry basket.

Be prepared to consistently find empty toilet paper rolls on the dispenser and a partly used roll on the counter.

Make him carry your laundry up and down the stairs, but do not let him do the laundry. You will regret it.

Accept that while you’re enjoying a nice relaxing shower, he will decide he desperately needs to take a shit. And while doing so, he will start a new roll of toilet paper and leave it on the counter.
Provide detailed lists for anything and everything. Otherwise he’ll use it as an excuse.

Pick your battles. Compromise.

If you don’t want to keep putting his shit away but it’s driving you crazy that he always leaves stuff everywhere and no amount of nagging will convince him to put things where they belong, buy baskets. You can put his stuff in there (and yours and Ayla’s etc) and he’ll be able to find it. (As you can see, we are a basket using household – I’d start throwing his shit outside otherwise).

Spend time together. Doing something, not just co-existing.

Remain individuals – have your own hobbies and activities.

David's Advice for Graeme-
It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

When you use up all the TP make sure to leave a roll on the counter. When she rants, tell her it’s better than having none.

patience - guys seem to tune you out when they're doing something else. It's not rudeness, it's how we're wired. We don't multitask.

Smart Ass Shawn:
take BC up on it's bud, it'll help you chill the f' out! :P

Aunty Leslie:
Don't let the small stuff get to you. Ignore the toilet seat, and toothpaste mess in the sink, only take issues with the important things. Once you let the small stuff niggle at you, it builds and builds until "everything" annoys you.

Guy & his wife Donna:
Guy - Never give an inch.
Donna - Never give an inch.

Rich in the UK:
1. Remember to 'trim' - always
2. At least one blow job a week makes a man feel loved
3. Compromise. Seriously, never stop talking through your issues. Once the talking stops, it's over.
4. NEVER go to bed on an arguement - see 3.
5. Read to each other. Cheesy, but sweet.

Hmmm....well, from my VAST experience...:
-ALWAYS WAIT to talk about things that are pissing you off until you are calm and he is in a receptive mood.
-it may seem like kissing ass, but when you want them to change their behaviour, (if your goal is to get them to change their behaviour and not apologize and grovel for their unthinking ways), be very careful how you word things, i.e. "thanks so much for doing the dishes, it really helped me out...and since I've been so busy lately, could you please try to remember to pick up your laundry too?" I know it goes against your basic instincts, Jen, but seriously, you are looking for results, not a change in personality.
-sex works as a bribe or a reward
-spend time apart
-focus on the good things he does, and let him know, even if he neglects to return the favor
-don't expect too much

Never lose who you really are. Just be your quirky emotional lovable self and when it feels like things are getting uncomfortable, think of it all as an experience that you can grow and learn from.

Barb of Awesometown:
You are asking the wrong person, Jen. The only reason I am not in prison is because I can't find the bullets.
But, as a wannabe minimalist living with a hoarder, I will say this: try to make a little space that belongs only to you. It doesn't have to be very big, just big enough to escape to when you need it.

ONLY 96!

I am really howling over the replies I am getting via email regarding me asking paired up ppl for advice on the longevity of cohabitating....I will post some more once I get a few more back...SO FUNNY!

Lunch and Wal-Mart shopping with Dan and Donna today was an enriching experience....not enriching of the wallet but that's to be expected. I have 96+ rolls of TP in the house is good!

Poor Adrienne busted her LEG this morning! Quite badly...jumping over a fence (don't ask) - she basically shattered it and needs surgery  - JESUS. So I am making her a card of some sort today....poor miserable!

Got a new shower curtain today....seemed like the right thing to do when yer gunna share a bathroom with someone is make sure u start out with a nice shower curtain...and lotsa toilet paper. Clean sheets

It is so miserable out today I think I am just gunna stay in and be warm and tinker...make a fun card for my crippled friend and just be merry...

Friday Of Goodness

The new era in my life is not starting out the way I was planning....I am sick and have a bad haircut...
Rude. Better than being a leper though know.
It is SUPER windy today...wind warning galore.
Laundry is on the go...
may possibly go see a movie this afternoon...if I feel like venturing out in the crazy wind...good excuse to have crappy hair anyway!

Ohhh little Miss Madelyn...I got her those 1st ears years a toddler she was NOT in love with u can see...she has since become a good sport about bunny ears. What's it say about me that the picture of her freaking out wearing the ears is one of my favorites of all time?? Heh.

 I need a nap already. Fugggg.

Thursday, April 01, 2010


I am so happy I am gunna dress up like a hot dog and dance!

Humpalicious Thursday

Ooooo today is like FRIDAY! Only it is a SUPER AWESOME EXTRA FAB FRIDAY due to the 18 off the top of my head reasons:

1. Today is followed by a 4 day weekend of gloriousness

2. Start With the Cobra plays Saturday @ Lucky...Fuck Yeah!

3. I get Noodle Box with Tracey and Ardene for dinner tongiht

4. It is getting easier for me to ignore the fact I have bad hair currently by simply never looking in the mirror

5. I managed to use up all my milk in the work fridge so it won’t go nasty by Tuesday

6. I am wearing jeans today and not effing dress pants

7. The boss is not here

8. I have a lot of work to keep me busy today so the day will whiz by

9. I have all my teeth in my mouth

10. My new desktop picture is little Sidney giving me the stink face and I love it

11. Ayla is being really good & her report card was its usual goodness as well

12. Today is payday & it’s the EXTRA chq this month so I have Ayla’s 2010-2011 annual bus pass $, her food safe course $ & her dance show costume deposits and ticket $ tucked away til needed

13. Got all my loose ends tied up at home and otherwise

14. I think I am over my Starfuck’s oat bar fetish

15. I forgot it was Easter this weekend and have nothing planned for dinner and I don’t think I am going to– I think to be contrary we will dine on something VERY non-traditional on Sunday like rabbit. Just kidding. Pizza Pops?

16. I have to pee really bad right now and it makes me feel ALIVVVVVEEEE!!!!!!!! ::dramatically throws arms out and dances::

17. Guy's back is on the mend!

18. Most importantly - Saturday is COHABITATION DAY...MuHahhahah hahah hahahah hahahha hahahaha! I have you now sucker! (Let the farting in bed begin!)