Saturday, January 31, 2009


Here we are in lovely Nanaimo....Ocean view of the docks/boats

Tracy S - tried to call u but as I suspected you are moving this w/e and yer phones out of service :o(

Guy - will be calling u soon to see if u are able to come to Mary's tonight....

The bus ride down was uneventful, no one tried to decapitate me or Ayla and they're lucky too bc I was ready.
Some obnoxious bitch on the bus talked on her cell phone loudly the whole 2 hrs. Thank gawd for MP3 players. I think that is one of the rudest things, talking loudly on cell phones in public. It makes we want to grab ppls phones and shove them places.

Pam and Jim's new place is great...not the dump it was made out to be at all...great view, room etc....was funny sitting around the table with old times...listening to them bicker and us laughing our heads off...

Today its shopping day - sighhhhh - I am sure I will wanna hang myself by dinner at 6 pm. Maggie and David are in town so they may be there too....dinner is at some place that starts with a Z. I forget.

I slept terribly and irritated Ayla all night with my annoying sleep/sighing and mouth breathing.
ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Her texting at 4 am was equally annoying so I don't feel too bad.

Friday, January 30, 2009


I swear to god my cat INTENTIONALLY annoys the shit out of me and i just threw a pen at her to make her stop molesting my shoes at the door and i hit her in the nose and now im haunted by that fucking sarah mclachlan spca commercial and want to report myself for animal abuse.

All this well before 6 am.

Yes apparently I don't need all the sleep i can get these days and the cat waking me up at 450 am by knocking my glasses off my side table was enough for me to not be able to get back to sleep.
Cat is lucky to be alive at all really.

We are going to nanaimo tonight for the weekend and the cat can sit here all by her lonesome and hump the shit out of my old shoes 4 all i care.

NOTE TO SELF: shut your bedroom door b4 u leave.
I will be racing home right after work to grab some stuff and call a cab to get to the bus depot...Ayla turns 15 on Sunday so we are going to hang with aunty pam and uncle jim this weekend in their new apt. Theyre driving up back home sunday.

I just got very hungry all of the sudden.

I saw the mother/daughter hand holding again it was not a special occasion. I havent cornered the woman at work yet to quiz her...sometimes I get weary of ppl looking at me like im a fucking weirdo....

EARTHQUAKE NEAR SEATTLE.......spooooky....friend of mine said her bed was shaking....I was awake but didnt feel anything up here on the 3rd floor...WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Thursday, January 29, 2009

killlll meeeee

omg...this day is longggggggggggggggggg and i need a good giant rip roaring fart to get myself in order....a fart only my aunty pam would be proud of.
i was gunna delete that but then i decided not to.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009



stupid template has no date feature.

this 26 things thing...i gotta say...i have learned more about the ppl ive got them from in one email than i have in years knowing them.

it is a confessional exercise with it being a confession in the sense that...for me anyway...i wasn't keeping any of it a secret...
i am gunna do what adele talked about and do one annually and save mine to compare...b/c for me it was random musings it should prove to be interesting.

back to work tomorrow...barf.

i love the new tim roth show LIE TO ME....he gives me a boner.

i got mail from my mother today...DEAR GOD!!!!!!!! she sent me a letter, one page, written as if she was writing it to a stranger who has never met her before:

ie : i work in an establishment where i deal with and listen to many problems, incidents and deaths every year

she goes on to tell me a story someone told her about a couple who lost their grand daughter to some weird fluke heart condition that cant be diagnosed at birth....

she sent me the program from the girls funeral and the newspaper story.

I just shake my head and instantly wonder wtf her deal is...I bet she hasnt spent the amount of time and effort it took to photocopy me all this shit about someone elses grand daughter on her own grandkid...I have no idea what the point was...if it was so interesting to her I dunno why she didnt call to talk about it like a normal human...
i can not believe i will be in powell fucking river for mothers day this year...poor planning on the part of maggies ovaries I must say.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


grumpy sleeping cat says *fuck off human*

COUNTER TOP DISHWASHER - its like a giant microwave....
time will tell if its more trouble than it is worth.

No astronauts were injured during this display.

drool much loser?

I am home sick today...I got no sleep last night despite going to bed at 10 as i promised myself....I laid down and my head instantly filled up with cement snot.....couldn't breath for shit and when i would drift off for short bits of sleep I would wake myself up by excessively fucking drooling down my face...WTF IS THAT!??? I am having weird heart palpitations too which is common for me if I don't get sleep or am really tired - but they still freak me I was just feeling extremely unwell and said F it. I am staying home and sleeping...I don't even care that I dont get full pay....

Last night Cyn brought over the countertop dishwasher she just bought in the summer...they bought a house and dont need it so...I will give it a try knowing it is new and not a piece of crap...they do take up a lot of room but really no more room than a dish rack and dirty dishes on the counter so....once I get the attachement for it tomorrow I will give it a go....see if it works for us.
I waste a lot of water doing dishes bc im an anal freak and only have ONE sink so this might actually be a water saver too.

Ok I need to nap

Monday, January 26, 2009

!!! Again !!!

26 Things About Nic the Red Headed Irish Grrl

1. I have problems saying the words 'funeral' and 'receipt'.

2. When I was thirteen I went to my first underage disco, I was so self conscious I didn't dance and my refusal to do so was made fun of by a group of boys nearby. At one point I got up to talk to someone and when I went to sit back down, one of the boys moved the chair and I ended up on the floor. I still remember his name and as silly as this sounds, one day I will find him and return the favour.

3. My Dad's eldest brother, his wife and their family are an absolute mystery to me, I have never met them but I did google my Uncle and found his picture.

4. I think my hairline is receding.

5. I saw 'Twilight' three times in the past month, and I've read all the books including the draft of a fifth on Stephanie Meyer's website. I don't understand why I feel compelled to read them or watch the film.

6. I cried at the end of 'Into The Wild' but I envied Christopher McCandless' his freedom as he travelled. I'm saving towards going to Australia next year but I'm worried I won't have the strength to be by myself.

7. My sister and I are petrified of turning into our Mother. Unfortunately I think I'm already halfway there.

8. I hate looking in full length mirrors. So much so I am on the cusp of purchasing a workout dvd because there is no way I'm embarrassing myself in a gym.

9. In about a week, I'm unemployed.

10. One of the worst days of my life was when my dad walked out the front door into a taxi without speaking to me or my sister. I found out the next day that he was in hospital after trying to commit suicide. One of my mum's brother's blamed my mother. While I love my mum, dad and that particular uncle, I will never forget or forgive them for that.

11. 'Hope' is a very dangerous thing in my opinion.

12. When I'm driving I scream and curse at other drivers but I smile at the same time so they don't realise what I'm doing.

13. Repressing anger, hatred and disappointment has gotten a lot harder recently.

14. I was at a vintage market yesterday and met a hairdresser who specialises in vintage hairstyles with a rockabilly twist. I'm not sure whether to wait for a special event to make an appointment or to just do it to feel good about myself!

15. A lot of my money is wasted on vintage costume jewelery and similar accessories. I'm too chicken to wear them in public. Necklaces are wasted on me as my neck is far too big!

16. Noel Fielding is scarily good looking. Even when he's dressed up as a granny in Nanageddon. I still prefer Julian Barratt.

17. I missed James Brown playing Oxegen in 2005 to see the Foo Fighters instead.

18. The scene in Signs with the aliens walking around the house trying to get in scares the crap out of me as it is almost the same as a nightmare I had when we moved house eighteen years ago but with giant wolves slinking around my house and their silhouettes on the curtains...(giving myself goosebumps!)

19. The conversations I have with myself in the mirror are sometimes the most intelligent conversations I'll have all day.

20. As much as I love going to gigs, local bands or big names, I hate the majority of the audience around me. They push into me, step on my feet and at one gig a couple of years ago, one drunk guy humped the back of my leg. I do love that moment when you think that for a split second that your favorite member of the band made eye contact with you. It's a fleeting moment but it makes me feel a bit giggly!

21. Patrick Swayze ruined me for other men.

22. Marriage is not an option for me but the idea of it chills me.

23. One day I'll tell all of the feckers that annoy to me to piss off.

24. I think I might miss all those feckers when they're gone entirely.

25. I can't think of anything else about myself that would be in anyway interesting, not that any of the above actually is interesting.

26. I think you are an amazingly strong person.


26 Things About Guy:

1) I've had two serious illnesses that almost killed me.
a) Spinal meningitis (6 weeks in hospital, age 5).
b) Mystery virus, which was likely bird flu (two weeks in ICU and weeks sick at home).

2) I get more pleasure out of walking in the wilderness, than from any other single thing I have ever experienced.

3) TV crime investigation dramas involving murder and autopsies cause me extreme anxiety, and thus I have never watched one all the way through.

4) My favorite food is smoked salmon.

5) I wish I could play the accordion.

6) I have not had a single strand of my hair cut since 10:15, September 8, 1988.

7) I paid for my second and third years at university by selling LSD, peyote, and mushrooms.

8) I started working full time during summer holidays at a lumber mill when I was 8 years old, and never had more than a day of vacation here or there until I left home at 18 years old. I either was at school, or doing hard labor, the whole time.

9) I have loved 7 women in my life.
Lisa (a different Lisa)
One of them means more to me now than I ever thought was likely or possible, I still have very strong feelings about two of them. Two of them I am still on good terms with with, one I am ambivalent about, and the other I loathe in a fashion which is quite possibly unhealthy. I'm not saying which is which.

10) I have never been arrested or charged with any crime.

11) I will answer any and every question honestly, provided I trust the person asking the question. If not, I generally won't answer at all.
12) Color, light, and sound can affect my emotions in a profound way.

13) In the early 80's I endured a "free" lap dance from Courtney Love. She stunk of piss and clove cigarettes.

14) I have a serious dyslexia problem involving directions and numbers.

15) I value kindness in people, over all other traits. Honesty is a close second, but I have known dishonest people that I liked because they were kind.

16) I find dancing to be deeply humiliating.

17) I cry often, but rarely in front of anyone else.

18) My first ancestor on the west coast walked to Puget Sound from Wisconsin. It took him over a year.

19) I have on three occasions in my life accessed a great rage deep within me, which allowed for feats of superhuman strength and an absolute disregard for law, normal human values, or personal safety. On all three occasions, when later confronted by police, they agreed that they would have done the same thing, and the matter was dropped, even though quite a few laws were broken.

20) My greatest regret is that I got a woman pregnant, and that she had an abortion. This is the only thing I have done that I do not think I can ever atone for. Still, I am 100% pro-choice, and would join in an open revolt if those freedoms were ever taken away from women.

21) I had a severe drinking problem for 10 years but I do not think I was ever an alcoholic. I have not had a drink in over ten years now.

22) I attempted suicide in 1986. From then until about 1994, I thought about it frequently in a very serious fashion, but never acted upon it.

23) Star Wars has had a profound impact upon my life.

24) The first thing I ever killed was a cat that was torturing a baby rabbit. I was 6. I have killed hundreds of animals since, and it's never been easy. Not once.

25) I am deeply ashamed of being overweight.

26) I don't like monogamy much, but I like dishonesty less.


I have gotten a few of those 26 things about you back and wow.......incredible insight into ppls heads...even rereading my own I was a little jolted by what was drawn out. I think the key is to just include what pops into your head rather then to try to do it all at once and force yourself to answer.

Guy says it is ok if I post I will when I get about you Nic?? Can I post yours as well or no?

Work today is back to its usual stupid BS due to a certain supervisor being back from vacation...complete and utter disorganization and overall inept management. I was called in for an interview for a dif. ministry for tomorrow - homeowner grant assistant auditor - but I am going to hang tight here (I think if it is common knowledge im looking elsewhere it will not work in my favor) and see who wins the competition for the unit admin position before I actively go looking elsewhere. I was hoping that audit job was going to take a few weeks to get organized before an interview but they are right on top of it - crappy.

This morning walking to work I saw this odd thing....what struck me the most was that I thought it was odd. A woman who works here was walking in front of me holding hands with another female. I thought it was her teenage daughter (looked about 16)....then I kinda thought how UNLIKELY that was, then I thought maybe it was her partner...but the girl looked like a teenager so I went back to the daughter theory....They walked hand in hand the whole way and when they parted they did cheek kisses....Mom went into my bldg and daughter immedaitely pulled out an iPod and looked more like a teeanger again.
I would have to drug Ayla to ever get her to hold my hand walking down the street. Shit, I'd feel lucky if she would even walk down the street with me.
I am going to ask that woman about it bc I am so intrugued....I will likely come off looking like a stalker freak but...seriously...that is VERY uncommon behaviour nowdays and it is interesting...I guess b/c there was no way in hell I'd ever have walked down the street holding my moms hand at 16 but I guess maybe if u are raised to be respectful (AHHAHA) and are treated accordingly, and really liked your parents, maybe it isnt so far out. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Chicago 10 was on CBC last night....what a fab documentary...awe inspiring really. The amount of ppl demonstrating the state of american politics and the vietnam war is beyond utterly maddening that it is but a blip on the screen of history.....I hope Guy will get some commentary going about it...Abbie Hoffman, what a character...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

TAG! You're it!

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to email or blog 26 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. If I tagged you (and if you are reading this consider yourself tagged) it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I'm not married. The only person I would ever marry is Rick Springfield, even though he is 60 this year.

2. I brush my teeth in the shower every morning.

3. I was born in Prince George BC but lived in (no particular order) Vancouver BC, Coquitlam BC, Port Moody BC, Powell River BC (3x), Wainwright AB, Edgerton AB, Barrhead AB, Swan Hills AB, Rainbow Lake AB, Lacombe AB, Ponoka AB (2x), Red Deer AB (2x), Moose Jaw SK (2x), Regina SK (2x), Shaunavon SK, and now Victoria BC

4. My favorite childhood possession of all time was my red & white plastic Melody Maker record player.

5. I have never had a drivers license and now at nearly 39 I think I am going to make sure I never get one just to be extra weird.

6. I have had my tonsils out. It was horrific waking up after the operation, flailing and freaking and vomiting up all the old blood that dribbled down into my stomach.

7. When I was 8 or 9 me and my babysitters kids set a dry grassy hill on fire *BY ACCIDENT* in a field across the street from their house - we were playing with matches. We managed to stomp it out and no one ever noticed.

8. Greyhound bus rides make me incredibly melancholy and weepy.

9. One regret I have in life is that I never had a 2nd child at home in a tub of water surrounded by ppl I loved who wanted to be there for it. I could not justify knowingly bringing a 2nd child into a single parent existence just to satisfy my maternal inklings.

10. When I say I think about punching ppl in the face all day long I am not kidding.

11. I actually wish I was a happier person but I do not think it is a choice, it is a spectrum, you can only be what you are with varying degrees bas
ed on what is going on and how you feel.

12. The absolute worst moment of my life was receiving a call from my sister that my brother killed himself. That night was the longest night of my life, I recall it vividly, I slept on the couch so the TV would be on all night to keep me company and I cried for hours and hours and hours...I thought I would fall asleep but I didn't.

13. I really do not like being around retarded people. They make me
intensely uncomfortable, especially when they try to kiss me at bus stops.

14. I miss my grandparents and the luxury I took for granted in being able to ask them questions about things that happen
ed in the past & just their quirky ideas about things.

15. The state of the world scares the ever-loving s
hit out of me to the point that I think I am in a form of denial about just how bad it is in order to protect myself...which in turn makes things worse for the world I live in. I can not find the balance of being enraged enough to make change without it eating me up completely.

16. I have a terrible terrible singing voice, which is tragic b/c I really was meant to be a thin, svelte rock star.

17. I loathe American/Canadian Idol.

18. I detest flat sheets on my bed, I only use a fitted sheet on the mattress and a blanket
...NO SHEETS...and I sleep with my feet uncovered b/c I get too hot.

19. I love the ppl in my life (family and friends), I have pretty much weeded out anyone that doesn't fit into that category and it is a good feeling.

20. I often wonder what it would take for me to ever be in a counselling situation and be 100% truthful and forthcoming about my feelings. I have never told anyone or said out loud the things that play out in my mind. I was asked a very simple question once by a counsellor -what has hurt you the most in life- in reference to growing up...I could not answer it, I physically could not speak. It was a very mindful, telling experience.

21. Whenever Sarah McLachlan's SPCA commercial comes on TV I go find my cat and hug it even if she's just pissed me off.

22. I have immeasurable pride over watching my daughter grow up - she works and makes h
er own $, gets good grades, and is really growing up to be a lovely person with sharp wit and cleverity I did not possess at her age. I am positive the teenage-itis will pass and some empathy will creep into her psyche...I do detect it on occasion, in her, hiding. I do wish I had done her justice.

23. I avoid hanging out in groups. I prefer one on one socializing.

24. I hate the nobby c
overs that fix the toilet to the floor...they never stay on and are just generally gross.

25. One of the m
ost stressful things I am forced to do in life is purchase concert tickets the day they go on sale, I love 5 yrs of my life every time.

26. I have cut my own hair for 2 years, ever since the crazy Asian lady gave me a mullet.