Thursday, January 31, 2008

we love u PEI

It's 640 am.
No, I did not shit the bed.
I always wake up to pee at this time, then the cat thinks its PLAYHOUR and wont leave me the hell alone to go back to sleep. So I get up for a bit and go back to sleep later.

I am in midst of a heinous headache...this is how my body tells me I am an extreme lard ass...that general feeling of unwellness takes over and gets hard to ignore.

I just heard PEI hasnt had power for 4 days! POOR MAUREEN!!!!! She must be going mad with 2 kids and no electricity?!?!?!?! Thankfully she has wood heat so they arent frozen to death.
Everyone pray to almighty Lord Jesus God Saviour Guy for Ms Maureen and the sprogs to get electricity back!
Cuz u know if there was as god THOSE are the kinda miracles he would perform, the ones involving comfort and easy living. hahaha
I fucking near crap my pants on game shows when ppl are praying to god that they do well...esp on Deal or No Deal...yeah if there was a god hes watching u on this fucking game show while ppl die and shit all over the world to ensure your case has the 1 million in it.


Is there any wonder why I am a bitter asshole?

I feel a nap coming on.....

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

hormonal dream world binge

You know you are PMSing when u dream about stealing cookie dough from a grocery store and sneak eating it b4 u even leave the store....there is a missing woman but I made the time to steal and eat cookie dough.

Its not quite 7 am...I am tired as fuck from all this cookie dough dream girl at work is scaring me...shes not new but shes new to me...the lack of common sense is alarming.

I have decided to completely change my house around...I am gonna get rid of the dining area all together and stick the computer in there so the living room is more of a damn living room....then I'm trading my big kitchen table for Maggie's wee little foldy down one with 2 chairs...I don't have company often so wtf. IT SHALL ALL BE TRANSFORMED!!!!!! Cable guy comes Feb 5...and I'm gonna make him run cords all over the fucking apt.
I am getting cable in my room so i can watch MANTRACKER in bed...he is a hot cowboy...and I don't even like cowboys.
I am always scared he wont win but he usually does. MuHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cat is really pushing it these days...while she has been foiled in her shower curtain shredding (I got 38457938475 inch thick vinyl ones to stop her) shes now made it her mission to destroy the only FUCKING plant i little shamrock plant...its toxic to cats so i keep it way up and away but the little fag cat scales every gawd damn shelf now with her size and it is making me insane...I am clearly going to have to either get rid of the plant or hang it from the damn ceiling in some horrid macrame (sp?) hanger.

My mom used to was a big deal in the late 70s. She made macrame shelving units.
She also did Tri-Chem painting...everything was Tri-Chem'd, table cloths, her wedding dress, mumu's, wall hangings. Holy cheese batman!
Ohhhh the 70's, weren't they grand?
it is now 7 am....I need a nap.

Good Night!

Monday, January 28, 2008


It is nippley outside today.... -4 ... for here thats fairly cold.

I dread walking to work later, it looks mightly slippery out.

At least im not in blizzardy alberta where its - 87345673658375 and snowing like a mofo.
Last night i was using bleach to defeat the bathroom mold on the ceiling...and i got a drop of bleach in my eye. does indeed sting.

I imagined myself with a really fucked up looking ewye today but its not too bad.
I have an eyeball thing...if i get a sty in my eye i dont leave my house...which is why at the slightest SIGN of my eye being kooky i use a scalding hot teabag on it to burn the fucker away.

Works! I swear!

I was psycho-pmsing on ayla last was pretty funny bc i was being a total bitch and ayla asked me why i was being a bitch? and i laugheddddddddddddddd cuz i knew i was being irrational and completely nonsensicle (is that a word? it is now)

Seems only right, gawd knows i bare the brunt of her hormonal psychosis on a regualr basis.

Gav & Laura gave me a cd i was talking about recently as a thank you for putting them up...I had been in a book store with Kelly and came across ROCKABYE BABY: lullaby renditions of nine inch nails....also had queens of the stone age, the cure, beach boys, bjork, no doubt, etc....

So we put on the NIN cd and it was eerie coolness!!!!!!!!!!

(kelly im sending u a copy.....who else wants one????)

My lips are dry....

I am hungry.

I have to clean the cat box today.

Fuck yeah....all b4 the newbie gal comes in for her 1st shift....which means ill get FUCK ALL DONE. muhahahaha ohhh yay!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

blasted snow

These are in no order whatsoever so just deal with it.
This is at BIG BAD JOHNS....the place is funny, bras hanging stapled to the ceiling among other various oddities.
My guests from the UK, Laura and Gavin, enjoyed the free peanuts you get there and then tossing the shells on the floor...and you see that rubber chicken hanging there? The whole place is rigged so that each table has a THING that can be dropped via fishing line by the bartender so when this rubber chicken came down right next to Gavin's face Laura and I near peed our pants b/c the look on his face was so excellent....contorted with fear. HA HA HA

Notice the dear is wearing a tie...

Gavin & Laura

Maddie's BUS RIDE to Hillside Mall!!!!

Gavin in Wal-Mart looking for long johns.

Maddie looking spastic!

Laura and Gavin in the circus mirrors!

Maddie stalking the cat.

The cat secretly loved all the attention.

Cousin Kelly in her cool Kelly hat!

If only adults could get as much joy out of toppling a tower of creamos in restaurants.

Sleepy Maddie and her mouse friend.
Mongoloid Gavin

This is the most disturbing RONALD MCDONALD picture of all if someone in marketing thought this was OK!???

Gav & Laura
Was a great week having Laura and Gavin here, I only wish I had some time off while they were here. We did manage to get out one night for Noodle Box dinner and Big Bad John's beer.
They were on a budget anyway so its not like we were gunna go out a lot anyway.
They have had a fabulous trip so far...started off in China, Thailand, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, Argentina, Peru etc then to the US, up the west coast to Vancouver and Vancouver Island...Now they are gone south to Calif. again and will make their way east over the next few months to New York/East Coast... then will end their trip in Florida in June and head home.
You can check out some of their amazing photos and travel blog here.
Then with Kelly and Maddie here for a night it was a good week full of good people.
I am tired now.
More later.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

far away friends

Gavin and Laura are here from the UK....they are travelling the world currently and made it to my neck of the woods.

Coolest thing is they are hungry travellers so my spaghetti lulled them into a coma last night haha

Sunday, January 20, 2008

I am not legend

went and saw I AM LEGEND and was shockingly entertained...I had VERY low expectations so the fact that I spent the whole time waiting 4 zombies to kill me was pretty cool.
I actually even cried watching it which is always fucking annoying...

then we hit the pub, Hot Donna and I...I had a few brightly colored drinks...and while we ate dinner some drunk girl at the drunk table across the bar said really loud about uncircumsized penis and we all near wet ourseves laughing bc it was so perfect.
gotta love drunk volume control problems.

ayla had 2 friends sleep over last night and between the 3 of them and my own indigestion i had a complete SHIT sleep...which is very rare 4 me, im usually all snuggled and perfect in my little bed cocoon...
i have never been able to go to sleep with other ppl awake in the house.

i work today. blah

gavin and laura from the UK are on the island and I think are coming to stay for a bit this week on their way down from Tofino.
will be good to meet them finally...i think gavin and i have been internet pals for a few yrs now and they have been all over the world the last year so ive been living vicariously through the photos they post on facebook and gavins blog.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Funny how sometimes it hits you like a ton of us FORTUNATE folk take things for granted.

I am standing outside the grocery store tonight...and I see this man, clearly homeless, walk over to the garbage and take out a bag that was full of someones partially eaten Chinese food...he starts chowing down.

And I stand there...over weight...holding 2 bags of groceries waiting for a cab to drive my lard ass up the hill.
I felt like such a FOOL.
I gave the guy 10 bucks and told him to go get some warm food inside, he promptly went straight to the deli to get some dinner.
What a gluttonous society we have become.
I am sickened that I am a willing partner in it all.

Ayla says she can not go to France. Won't go.
She is not ready, not quite *there* enough to appreciate the experience it would be. I am not willing to make the sacrifices until she is there so...maybe next year.
In the meantime I am encouraging her to take a few weeks and go to California to see her grandparents this summer. I hope she will gather up the ball-age to do it, meet the rest of her family there and see her dad again in a different venue.

I recently had a conversation with someone about pigeon-holing yourself.
How limiting it, I don't want to secretly run around wearing lacey dresses and high heels...
or go to the Merritt Mountain Music Festival...ha ha ha
Looking back I can see how I really limited myself when I was it in my head that *cool* was a certain way and wasnt open to anything else.
Got it in my head that the only way to not get hurt is to be a smart ass bitch and keep ppl at arms length, even if all I wanted was to be embraced and feel worthy of someones affection.
It is a self-perpetuated cycle of bullshit...I backstroke in the pool that is this bullshit everyday.
Sometimes I think I have a personality disorder. ha ha ha
Probably not too far from the truth.

Anyhoo...on to lighter topics.
Oh I cant think of any.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Taxidermy Delight

Guy got his present...isnt it a pretty thing??
I bet no one has ever sent him a dead animal before....especially one dead as if 1940!!!
That little gem is an antique to boot!!!!

insert cartridge now

so im pooping my pants a little over this proposed exchange trip to France for thinking somehow we don't QUALIFY...but maybe I am just feeling social stigma left overs or something?? I dunno.

3500.00 for 30 days in France seems well worth it to me...coming up with it will be another story (I am sure everyone of my relatives is CRINGING right now at this very second hahaha)

so whats the deal with bread....the kind i buy i notice cuts the slices thick one, one skinnier one...I thought it was an oops in a previous loaf every loaf I get is cut weird...maybe their cutter thing is messed up????

I hate the lame lil skinny looks like that gawd 4saken weight watchers bread that is is thick as a piece of paper.

One cool thing about getting Ayla a passport and saving for this trip is I will be spending NOTHING, i might even cancel cable tv....OH THE HORROR! ha ha ha We will be selling guitars and all sorta shit....WOOOOHOOO CLEANIN HOUSE!

Looks like the gossip column thing is a go.

I am now scared shitless. ha ha ha and feeling WAY inadequate.

Should be interesting haha

I subscribed to a bunch of gossipy email things for inspiration and topics...omfg...I feel so lame ha ha ha

I even forced myself to listen in on something Ayla was watching recently and it made my ears start on fire, it was so stupid.

I sent Guy his TREASURE yesterday in the soon as he gets it I will post pictures of the beauty.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

5.50 - worth every penny

omfg...the dipshits downstairs have SURROUND feels like a fucking earthquake up here...

I could be a chump and complain at 10:01 pm but I wont...

Today I scored the best of all scores shopping....a small little TOKEN for my lovely friend Guy, who will love and cherish this gift for years to come...its even an antique...from is a small HINT...once he gets it I will post a picture of it...til then, you will all have to wait with baited breath...ha ha ha
Went to a movie this afternoon with Donna...omfg what a piece of shit. I thought with the cute Transporter guy in it that would save it if it wasnt great but as it turns out it was so fucking bad we left after 20 mins. IT WAS THAT BAD. Here is why...the guy from Transporter was the only one who didnt suck balls...burt Reynolds was in it...he is NOT a good king I can assure u...the guy that played SHAGGY in the scooby doo movie was in it and he was LAMEEEEEEE...and Ray Liotta with Frankie Valli disco fucking hair as the bad guy was just too much to bare. I should have read THIS first.
Gawd it was dreadful.
Got word about the column...seems it is a go, I just need some refinement HAHAHAHA fuck i coulda told them that..muhahahahahaha will be interesting to see what the BOUNDARIES are and if I can pull anything of interest off.
I felt a little sick, I admit it, mainly bc it suddenly felt like SCHOOL and the pressure to perform which I have NEVER done well, makes me a little vomitous.
Ayla is out 4 the night, with friends...I am gunna watch the BIG LUBOWSKI...and eat something bad 4 me.
Tomorrow is the WINTER GALA for work...if I could get out of these things I would. There will be a karoke machine there and im looking fwd to mocking the hell out of all the drunks who get tangled in that web of hilarity. I am taking my camera.

Friday, January 11, 2008

bloody helllllllllllllllllll

No im not on the rag....but i had a dream last night that was completely MESSED UP...

I went into my bathroom (which in real life bugs me b/c Ayla leaves her stuff all over and the cat thinks the bathroom is her domain and thinks nothing of walking all over the counters and shit and it infuriates me cuz i feel like all i do is SANITIZE THE DAMN BATHROOM - thank gawd mom sent me ALL that sanitizing spray 4 xmas) ~ in this dream I go into the bathroom and she has REDONE the bathroom....she switched shower heads to some lame crappy spray one, she made a shitload of nail holes all over the inside of the shower stall...the tub was full of water and in the water was floating shit (literally), tampons and various bathroom products like rolls of TP, bottles of shampoo etc....the floor was covered in i am FURIOUS and call her in and shes kinda just "whatever"...and im seething and mad and feel like im gunna have a stroke im so mad and im telling her she has NO IDEA HOW CLOSE TO DEATH SHE IS AND SHE BETTER LEAVE THE ROOM but then as im looking around the room I keep calling her back in to SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMM about how crazy she is for doing all this weirdo shit......only i cant scream so im screaming in my own head and getting closer to a stroke....
Anyway...I woke up pissed off at her until i realized it was unjustified THIS TIME. ha!

This is now my favorite picture of Guy. I love you Guy, please make this a tradition...
Remember how i was saying i needed to do something at work for my sanity...well it got done the next day and now we are a person short ONLY its ok for now bc our hrs are being shortened to help cut down labor so we dont have to be open as early or as late (FUCKIN YAAAHOOOOOOOOO) thus we need LESS ppl (so goes the theory) is weird but its all good...
I am waiting to hear about this thing through school 2 get Ayla in on an exchange program to France (1 month this summer). How cool would that be...???? Man i will stop spending every dime i have after rent and bills and itchiban noodles to make that happen...along with hitting up all relatives hahaha and making all Ayla's job money go into the would just be too great an experience to not make it happen....
Ok I have to go clean the cat box now.
Someone strike me dead with lightening please.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I didn't even throw up

let's see...

well the sprog got her navel pierced...she was rather brave and didnt scream or anything...

the piercer gal was cool...I pretty much stared at her the whole time cuz shes all full of piercings and tattoos and dreadlocked hair...

kitty loves her new tree/toy...shes pretty damn rowdy with it...

work sucks ass presently...
i am gunna try writing a music gossip column thing for a friend of mine...gawd knows i havent been even slightly creative in years so it might be good 4 my brain.

and really...can u think of anyone better to talk gossipy drivel about the music world? im not exactly sure if im what he has in mind but im gunna give it a go...gawd knows ive spent more time on worse ideas. ha ha ha this will give me a chance to utilize ayla's pop music know-how.

ok so check this out...we are in the tattoo/piercing shop, waiting for our turn and this skanky looking woman comes up to us, talking really loud (cuz the music is really loud in there) about how its hard to fuck with the guy on top with a belly button ring and thats why she took hers out....????

im like...WHAT?
ARGG!! I DIDNT ASK HER A DAMN QUESTION!!! I didnt even make eye contact....
Why would she think my 13 yr old needed such ADVICE?


Piercer girl has a COOL toy........check it out:

you just add water...

i really want one! it looks like a THING in formaldehyde....I LOVE THAT!!!!!

Anyway...I am in a really piss ass head space.

Ive been getting up early this week b/c im training someone to open...
Im at a crossroads...I need to replace someone for the good of my sanity and the good of the store...with all the new changes coming around the bend and the need for the store to grow to maintain a salary position (rather than to go hourly) I cant afford any weak links.
I broke my jacket zipper today when i accidently slammed it in the wtf am i gunna do? I CANT DO MY JACKET UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS WINDY AND COLD! lol
I cant seem to keep warm lately...which is a weird thing b/c im always too damn hot...
the SLASH autobiography is getting to be an interesting read....some of the gawd.
Men are disgusting creatures, I tell ya...
I mean its one thing to take turns poking the same girl in a tiny little bunk/loft but its another to spunk on the other guy's leg by total accident bc the 3 of u are in such CLOSE quarters...and then REPEAT the story out loud, admitting the grossness. BARFFFFFFFFFFFFF haha

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

it is over

the holiday season is over...for another year.

im trying to get my cat a cat tree...she is too mental to not have one...saw one on the usedvictoria site, just waiting to hear back about it.
it is plain and I like that....presently (holy fuck im become a crazy cat lady and always talking about the damn cat) she scales an extra mattress I have leaning against the wall in my is quite annoying to hear her shred it to reach the top 55x a day. besides, i look fwd to watching the cat try to jump through the patio doors to get a bird whilst perched on top.
back to the grind more paid days more rice krispy more cookie dough...
i need a nap.


toilet seat

the cat broke our toilet seat...

so i had tracey pick me up one the other was on about 6 hrs and broke...

so i went and bought ANOTHER ONE today and its pretty skookum so itll be ok but holy IF there are so many choices!

i so wanted the transparent one filled with oceanic things like shells, starfish and was 30 bucks...and youd never have to lift the lid to make sure u flushed, ITS TRANSPARENT...then I thought id have to take it with me id i moved and then BUY another one for the apt so i said screw it...and opted for the 30.00 white one.

I hate when things like menstrual products, garbage bags, toilet paper, etc arent free...thats right folks...i wish menstrual products were handed to me FREE every month...along with TP and garbage bags.... THE END

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


2008 rhymes with HATE


im finally IN!