Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Done Like Dinner

ok well...im done...id sooner go to walk in clinics than endure my current Dr's cold mannerisms and unfriendly disposition.

honestly, vaccinations didnt even come up and i walked out of there shaking my head and by the time the elevator hit the main floor I had decided im not seeing her again and felt much better about it. I will let Ayla decide if she wants to see her as her local doctor but im not dealing with her again.

I figure its like anything else...im not happy with the way she speaks to me or handles the things I am trying to address with myself and if u arent happy with the service you get you go elsewhere...simple as that.

I am the 1st to admit im probably a Drs worse night mare for a patient b/c in all honesty my last Dr of 13 yrs ruined me for all other Drs.

She is a warm, caring, personable person (add in the fact she was my Dr through my one and only pregnancy and was the 1st face Ayla saw when she popped outta my crotch) and even if i didnt like EVERY aspect of her practice (which is something that just goes with being a Dr, certain ideals etc) I have grown to have certain expectations about someone *in charge* of my medical records.

So, thats that. Fuck dont I hate it that im such a gawd damn emotional girl about shit like this...? Seriously....im disgusted by my own lack of being able to just be "all business" about this.
I am going to make myself a kick ass turkey sandwhich now and move on...I will go and fetch Ayla at 530 downtown and then get back to her trying to ruin my peaceful chi on a daily basis hahaha

Monday, January 29, 2007

you are the only one that can set yourself free...

there is some bathroom wall wisdom for ya...straight from Logan's wheelchair stall!

4 more days and my branch shall be transformed into a blissful state of camaraderie...
just gotta find one more person to complete the puzzle... MUHAHAHAHA (rubs hands together like a total pervert)
anyhoo...ayla comes home tomorrow at 530 pm...sounds like shes had a good visit...did lotsa cool stuff etc.
the Painted Veil was a great movie...Arika and I went last night, swooned over Edward Norton...the scenery in the movie was amazing...was filmed in china...great story...loved Edward's character...he was unexpectedly cunning and lovely!

So yeah its worth seeing in a theatre alright in case u wondered...but would be good at home as well...
I never did find shoes...after being in about 10 different show stores i had finally settled on a pair i didnt really like but was weary of the whole process...(I was in Sport Chek by the way) I go and wait in line...and wait, watching these two simpletons complete a transaction a monkey could have done...they finally finish and they completely ignore me as a jock wanders up and puts his 20.00 tshirt purchase on the counter...I stand there IN SHOCK waiting for one of the simpletons to realize what just happened and....they just carried on....I was so pissed off i threw the shoes on the counter and said *Let your manager know you just lost a 100.00 sale*...and left. I went to the site and called their cashiers Paris Hilton clones. Fucktards.
So i got no shoes. I came home and operated on my old ones with nailclippers and will get a little more mileage out of them i guess.

I have a Dr appt tomorrow...fuck...on top of getting weighed (aka self demoralization) I get to go debate a persons right to choose/vaccines. I am in a take no shit mindset at the moment so I dont think it will go too poorly...i dont intend on getting bulldozed...I will ask her opinion of vital vaccines she thinks are most important...and do the work on it.
I think im gunna go watch a movie...I finally bought a popcorn popper so I should break it in! Its only right!

Sunday, January 28, 2007


its 120 am....i have a lovely warm buzz going....but i also have a fucking headache....

just got in frm logans...4 bands...1st 2 were metal of some sort...i dug em....3rd was donnas bf's band...BREWTALITY...all their songs are about beer... ie: THE BEER MADE ME DO IT... punk...short but sweet mosh pit occured...the last band TARD was poo...some chick doing hard core death metal singing...she looked like gwen stefani on crack and meth...barf. we played pool instead.

im gunna crawl onto the couch with a blanket, water and the clicker....and maybe i wont wake up tomorrow cuz my head hurts....YEAH!! all i have to do tomorrow is buy new shoes bc mine are fucked.
its too bad veruca salt didnt do more...i sure like SEETHER and VOLCANO GIRLS....
mmm i am wishing for toast...but i have no bread....DAGNAMMIT!!!!!!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Late Late Late = Hate Hate Hate

I have bar make up on....only I still dont look like Gwen Stefani....dang it!

I am waiting for Donna to get here...she is ALWAYS late...but i have to not let myself get tired or pissy or I wont wanna go out when she does get here. I am drinking one of aunty pams kokanees from when she was here last. I am hoping this will PERK me up...
In between severe bouts of sloth-like behaviour today I managed to get all my laundry done and bleach the bathroom ceiling...it smells like a swimming pool in here.

I watched OLD SCHOOL and laughed...I watched the last half of the Breakfast Club...some DEAL OR NO DEAL...that show makes me die inside...heres this struggling person offered 180K and they PASS it up? ARE U FUCKING INSANE??? then they end up winning 5.00 at the end...I just shake my head....and they so "Ohh but I had the time of my life" - bullfuckingshit u did...yer gunna go home and contemplate how many ways you can kill yourself and if u dont im sure your spouse is...everytime u get a bill in the mail that will have 2 wait you'll remember how fucking stupid and greedy u were...

Bloody hell...Seriously...wtf is wrong with ppl?
I smell good right now...you should come over and gimme a sniff...you'd be impressed.
I dunno what happened to Jerri Ann...? She doesnt email...never picks up her phone...which leads me to believe something bad is going on...cuz she tends to disappear when things get weird...
Cookies and beer taste good together...I did make a RESPONSIBLE dinner, a frozen thing only upon cooking it it was hideous....so...i opted 4 the cookies....hence my lard.
I am listening to Pantera...and other various aggressive sounds that will make me not fall asleep BEFORE DONNA GETS HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

bloody hell....I dont think she realizes that at 36 its hard to stay alert after 8 pm.

Master Good ~ Hiring ~ Making Out ~ Craptastic Music

Last night it was like i was in a coma...a walking coma...b/c its been a while since i had 2 days in a row off AND no responsibilities....so what did I do? I hurried to get 2 loads of laundry washed by the 10 pm cut off time to save myself an hour today...duh...
It was a good idea bc im almost done laundry 4 the weekend and its just 9 am now. I was wanting to watch OLD SCHOOL last night but I will today instead...
Ayla made it up island and to PR without a hitch....a nice relief to know she can make that trip herself when needed....(MUHAHAHAHA)
Tonight Donna and I are going to Logan's to watch her boyfriend Dan's band play...sadly he has a pinched nerve so I dunno HOW hes gunna muster the nutters to do that, I hope he gets awesome drugs from the Dr to kill the pain to get through a set at least...I think Cynthia's coming out too...should be INTERESTING!!! or not...as im a fucking bore these days.
I "have to" hire someone this month, like now....only my choices are not all that obviously profound...I don't trust myself to hire anyone bc honestly you did not know how someones going to be on the job until they are, i don't care what anyone says...yes there are tools to weed out the super bad ones but I can assure u I have had to work with MANY ppl who weaseled through that screening process only to make me ask myself WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT SHE WAS EVEN SLIGHTLY SMART ENOUGH TO DO THIS JOB?!

So yeah i dont trust the process so well...plus im new at hiring so im more likely to hire someone i can stand to try and mold into a good employee than someone with a pretty resume...I never care what they're wearing when they come in to drop off a resume either...that's bc i think ANYONE can wear something nice and fool ya into thinking they give a shit...so I don't give that much credit...
Anyway...blah blah blah
Matthew Good is recording a new CD right now...i have been listening to a lot of Master Good these days...really looking fwd to the new cd...I think its going to be interesting considering the last year of his life has been so tumultuous and racked with change...

I have noticed all my favorite MG music is the acoustic/orchestra-laden stuff...when im walking down the street with the song AVALANCHE cranked im not singing along like a doofus but i notice my facial expressions change as IF i was singing along which makes me laugh cuz to passerbyers i must look like i have tourettes...haha hahahh haahha

The rock station i listen to is just playing new crap these days...its getting to the point where i don't wanna even listen cuz its all that shit that is all the rage with the kids like Fall Out Boy....fuck i hate that cocksucking band....
Ok my laundry is near dry, just one more load to dry and then im done...im gunna go crawl onto my couch with my tea and watch OLD SCHOOL now....i dreamt last night i was making out with Will Farrell...i can not tell you how oddly disturbing that was. Why couldn't it have been Vince Vaughan for fucks sake? Is that too much to ask? That i can make out with who i wanna make out with while im asleep???? Fuckin fuck.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Who Did It?

(this is how i picture Maureen interviewing ppl for her newspaper articles hahahaha -------> )

why do u think the letters on the key board are in the positions they are??
do u think there was any basis 4 the arrangement?

i have been grossing myself out watching/reading the pickton trial news...*shakes head*...while getting a fair trial is generally (haha) a GOOD THING what the fuck...? sometimes i just wish theyd put him in with the general population and let someone stab the twat...ya ya ya innocent before proven guilty...wHATEver...that creepy monkey is guilty...pleading not guilty and costing canada over 100 million dollars for this shit blows my mind...use that money for something decent like dealing with the issues in dowtown vancouver and other such places....they scream theres no money 4 anything but they come up with it when they have to deal with the problems/consequences of the initial issues they have no money to deal with to start with...I cant help but think if ppl gave a shit, a true shit, about addicts/mentally ill/foster care/child abuse etc and did something proactive where this shit all starts it would be cost effective later...but i guess thats too much to ask...duh. I mean im not an idiot, i know social problems will not be wiped out but too many ppl get swept under the rug...

something as simple as not treating children like shit when they are little can SERIOUSLY decrease the likelihood of a lot of social problems...i dont care what anyone says...u ask all the degenerates and addicts and troubled ppl out there being destructive to themselves and the community...a majority of them were not parented well...(although i will say some ppl end up fucked either way haha)

I work at noon so Im gunna go get a move on...its friday after all...plus i know due to recent schedule changes due to Ms Know It All quitting that SOMEONE has got their knickers in a knot...and the coolest thing is I COULDNT GIVE LESS OF A SHIT....since no one cares i lost my requested days off next week for my kids birthday i dont care if they were looking fwd to hanging out with their boyfriend on sunday....

Oooooo im full of hate today...


Thursday, January 25, 2007

ha HA ha HA ha HA ha

omfg im all about the mind fuck...

today after the phone call about someone telling me Ms Know It All was quitting w/o notice very soon I got to work and decided on the walk there that i wasnt going to let her run the show so ... I handed her paper nad a pan and told her i knew she was quitting so she needed to write me a letter with a date so i could change the schedule and get her off of it...she looked FUCKING HORRIFIED!!!!! it was awesome....she asked me how i knew and i told her one of her friends at another store told me hahahah

So b4 she was off shift she handed me a typed up letter dated for tomorrow that she wasquitting due to below average work conditions....?? We discussed the fact that the job just was not for her...and she agreed and went on her merry way and we all talked shit about her all night and cheered bc we are FREEEEEEEEEE woooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

man she was a buzzkill that chick....we are so frikkin relieved...

Stupidness for the Day


Go fuck your hat stupid girl...

I got a call at home today re: Ms Know It All quitting soon and not planning to give any notice...

wont she love it when I arrive at work today and ask her directly when her last shift will be?

I think I am still the bully I was in Jr High...and I dont care much.

Honestly...I might not get a day off for a month but its worth it if u dont have to put up with bullshit.

My lovely little workplace and been turned into a fucking battleground and I dont like it so good riddance to shit employees with no balls! w00t! w00t!

Ayla leaves tomorrow for PR....this week just whizzed by! JESUS....she will be gone til the 30th....

I will probably be raging all weekend so its likely going to be good shes away having fun with friends and family haha

The Notorious Bettie Page was interesting....I think as a christian girl its funny she was so non-chalant about being a bondage girl hahahahahaha I like the simplicity of her attitude...she didnt think it was a big deal, it was just costumes and no one was getting hurt....just acting for her....

Might go check out her biography now....

Ok im going to get ready 4 work now...wish Ms Know It All luck. lol

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Donna waxed Ayla's stash and eyebrows last night....i sat by watching her in pain and quite enjoyed it hahaha

I think Ayla thinks her life has changed now...

I do know that with my OCD symmetry issues i should NEVER try to wax anyones face EVER. It would be disasterous.
I have a virtually hairless face so I didnt get to join in the fun...
Ayla's dad wrote me and asked me what it was like while I was preg and while Ayla was little.
I decided since he asked to unleash on him the reality...muhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
I wish he was catholic so the guilt would really kick his ass.
Its social assitance day @ work....that means interesting freakshow.
PS: im secretly liking this satanist biz!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Sweet Action!

You scored as Satanism.

Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism!

Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism 83%
Atheism 67%
Paganism 58%
Islam 50%
Buddhism 50%
Judaism 42%
Agnosticism 33%
Christianity 21%
Hinduism 0%

New Blog Name

Sorry all u skittish period fearing readers but....this name I came up with is staying....

Ayla and her friend Emily O are here....and wont go to school early like I demanded so I am suffering whilst getting ready 4 work as I cant prance about naked with company over or social services will show up.

Ohhh yeah theyre gone now....and silence and peace fell over the earth and Jen, once again, felt solace creep back into her mind, at least 4 a moment b4 she went to work and had to deal with Ms Know it All....and watch Ms Know it All sit off in the corner and associate with no one in the branch, despite any coersion of inclusion by all staff members, despite buying her chocolate....despite asking her questions etc.

I have come to the conclusion that being manager is a glorified babysitting job but I refuse to spend my time and energy worrying about staff members feeling excluded when so many attempts have been made to include someone, which is normal social practice I think...shes over 18, if she wants to sit in the corner and not talk then she can do just that.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate humanity?

Monday, January 22, 2007

as if...

ok i think I fixed it....

im not even going to bother expressing how pissed i am at the time that was spent 2 deal with that little html glitch.

i made a roast tonight and it was shit...barf

i re-arranged my livingroom and now all i wanna do it lay on my couch and watch tv...

Dr office left me a msg today, said they got Ayla's records and want us in right away to discuss things...that means VACCINATIONS.

It's a good time for me to reread all the new data and such, see if anythings changed much...see if they are coming out with anything different...now that Ayla's older, bigger/stronger revisit the whole topic...all I know is im not walking in there uncertain.

im really tired so im going to bed early...

i wont be bothering u fine ppl with my angry drivel...

enjoy it while it lasts!


omfg im losing my mind.....i hate blogger..i hate wordpress...i hate live journal.

still broken

i havent had the time to fix the comments....which is ok bc ive said absolutely nothing noteworthy.

i escaped the staff party last night, i had to sneak out to avoid being dragged to a bar...

now i have to go to work and fight with the know it all again.


Sunday, January 21, 2007

and the award goes to....


for being the most inappropriate manager on vancouver island!!!! WOOOHOOOOOO Ohhh and we won an award for our fabulous collections! WOOOOHOOOOOOO


my blog is broken....

im very unhappy with blogger right now and am thinking of defecting...

anyways...no comments, sorry, blogger is being a cunt to haloscan and .... well... ill get back to ya on what im gunna do about it all.

Don't Cry 4 Me Victorrrrriaaaaaaaaaa

Yes it is sunday...I just spent the night dreaming about retarded shit...Oh yay!
The work called b/c Ms Know It All Im So Educated This Job is Below Me and You Are All Low Lifes And I have Such a Bright Future is too dumb to open the safe.
Love it when that shit happens. It gives me hope and makes me smile in a very evil manner.
Tonight is the "Winter Party" the company is throwing instead of an X-Mas party...its at some hoytee fucking hotel so everyones gotta not look like a slob, this irritates me.
I wish the co. would honestly fuck off with these lame dinner and parties and just give us a cash bonus, like I wanna hang around with a buncha work ppl...grumble grumble
Oddly enough I was at A & T's house....theyre from work hahaha along with L, who is also from work hahah hahah hahaha
We played a game called IDENTITY CRISIS...L&T were partners the last round and CHEATED of course....assholes...it is a good game though....
It is especially funny when u pick a name like Eva Peron and you assume the other person knows who that is so u say *Madonna played her in EVITA, Dont Cry 4 Me Argentine, wife of a politician in Argentina* and they dunno who the fuck she is, then yer trying to describe a HERON so she will say the word so u can say ok its spelled like that but its got a dif 1st letter and has a twang/inflection.....then yer just FUCKED. ha ha ha

I feel a scatchiness in my throat.... "pout" ....I thought i dodged that bullet but no such luck...i just hope it doesnt go FULL BLOWN...

Friday, January 19, 2007


I just scored a Justin Timberlake doll thats missing both feet and one forearm....
im gunna get a cross and hang him from it.
Thanks Dylan! You rock.

help me...ive been swallowed up by 3 shallow preteens.

quote of the night (between the giggling and make up application coming from the bathroom) ~

"ohhhh that so makes your eyes just POP!"

hhahah hahaha hahahahha hahahah hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha along with ~

"wow i feel so hot right now"

kill me now.

oh, you're tired? poor baby ~ go fuck yourself then

friday....yep im at home with my own devil sprog and her 2 devilish friends...

today at work was weird...got in a rip roaring confrontation with a new employee transfered from another store...nothing like starting the day off waiting around for a late employee who has the balls to say "well i was tired"...hahahahah fuck off.

since i will be banished to my room tonight i guess ill rearrange it...ill start it and 10 mins later wish i didnt.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


i think my ear would make a grand dog chew toy if it was cut off and dried out.

i also think a dog could feast on my innards for a long while...

good night

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

All Things J (stolen from Hailey)

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your Name: Jennifer
Famous Athlete: Jenna Jamison (porn is a sport right?)
4 letter word: Jism
Street name: Jutland
Color: Jade

Gifts/presents: Jesus stuff
College Majors: Journalism
Vehicles: Jetta
Ethnic Locations: Japan, Jakarta
Something Found in a kitchen: Jam
Things in a Souvenir Shop: Jackets
Boy Name: Jeremy
Girl Name: Jezebel
Pro Sports Teams: Jets

Movie Titles: Jarhead, Jackass, Jesus Christ Superstar

Alcohol: Jagermeister
Occupations: Jazz Dancer
Flowers: Jasmine
Things You Shout: JUMP!
Celebrities: Jude Law, Jennifer Aniston
Magazines: Jane
Reason for Being Late: jerking off
U.S. Cities: Jackson, Jefferson, Jamestown
Something You Throw Away: Jiffy Marker
Cartoon Character: Judy Jetson

you put the lime in the coconut....

gawd i thought about posting all day, and had so much to blather on about and now....GONE!
ayla is planning a trip to PR this month to see the family and hang with her friend chloe for chloes bday party...

and yes that means i get a kidless weekend muhahaha hahah hahhaah hahaha hahhahahaha
it is worth the cost!
ive got the inconvenient truth to watch tonight...i was told in no uncertain terms to make sure i watch the special features bc there is an update in there from when the movie first came out which is apparently imperitive i see...
Got a few parcels today!

got a package from cousin maggie full of jesus paraphenalia....thank u maggie!!! i love the GOD IS AWESOME! bracelets and the plastic cross necklaces hahahaha
and michelle b. sent me a SCARF!!!!!! ohhh gawd she went on and on about me not liking it...fuck its perfect...its black, its long and its a scarf and its fab! its all fancy and ribbed (for my pleasure!) - i wore it to the store tonight and i swear i look like aria giovanni with it on (haha google her, youll laugh at that statement)

thanks michelle...it is great!
now, tracy s....i need slippers please!
the DEEP SEA imax flick was cool the other day....it was narrarated by johnny depp and kate winslet for gawds sake...i nearly peed...im an imax whore...i admit it...i love them, even the ones i dont find all that interesting im ok bc they visually stimulate me (that sounds so dirty)...
buffy was saying she went to vancouver to see the bodyworks exhibit and the only time they could get in was 3 am HAHAHAHA wtf is that!!??? they ended up going but shit i cant imagine it was all that shit hot at 3 am.... :o( i had no idea it was that calibre of a showing that 3 am was even an option...
back to work tomorrow...gawd this week is going to be NUTS getting ready 4 tax season to start...

got thrown a bit of a curveball this year so its going to be a longggggggg 6 months...

Monday, January 15, 2007

my unwell uterus greets you good day

they say more snow is coming.
i can not express how much this pisses me off so im making a point of just surrendering to it... ~sighhh~

2 more closes and then wed. off....weeeeeeeeee

i wanna rent the inconvenient truth this week...i was watching the washington news where some school down there is not letting a teach play the dvd in class unless he also plays an opposing opinion...

im usually all for that, esp. where religion is concerned but...the other side to the science is ppl motivated by greed and $ so im not quite sure what to make of it all...not global warming, im quite convinced that is a reality we are facing no matter how many ppl maintain denial about it...but the motivation to stop kids from seeing the dvd...

i have to keep in mind im fairly liberal...i think kids should be made to watch BIRTHING videos in school, gory, screaming, anus tearing ones, in hopes it makes them be more careful while having sex...etc etc...
anyway...my uterus is running full tilt, very clotty...(i just said that so Guy and Kelly would throw up in their mouths)

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sunday, the day of the devil

A point form review:

-Ayla LOVED the MAC MakeUp counter....gawd help me that shit costs out the rectum, she spent her 45.00 AND another 45 of her own $ loading up on warpaint. Fuck, that backfired.

-Coerced Ayla to sit through one IMAX movie but she ditched me 4 the second but the best part was when she got home she realized she had no keys HAH HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHA
Karma rules.

-Ate the bestest most fab burger @ the Tudor Pub with Donna (MY NEW ASSISTANT MANAGER YEEEHAAAAAA)...then went to Walfart where i found YET ANOTHER jesus candle and a few birthday items I was wanting to get 4 Ayla...

-Went and saw Borat again (sorry Guy)...and i laughed far too much!

-Came home...THE END

Off with your lips Mr. Chatty Fucktard...

old and crippled, that's me.
the skookum shoes are taking a toll, while i don't fall on my face getting to work, the 8 hrs of standing in these shoes has rendered me gibbled. yes i could very well carry good shoes to work and wear those but...I'm dumb.

the snow seems to be melting at least...last night after work it was slushy-ish. yay

today is Mac Make Up Counter day...ayla is still unthrilled but due to some bargaining yesterday i managed to scam her to use the xmas GC and keep the appt for today AND go to an IMAX movie with me MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (if shes reading this right now u can bet shes thinking of ways to stab me in my sleep)
fuck, i wish my mom ever wanted to spend time with me...tough life hey? i should remind ayla about the presents i got as a teen under the tree from my mom...tampons...douches....etc.

oh it wont matter, she will still think I'm lame.

i am lame...in terms of pop culture...even though all of us here know I'M COOL...I'm not 13 yr old cool...id like to punch paris hilton in that horse face of hers rather than go shopping with her...id rather blow up all the crap whore-ish hip hop music out there with girls shaking there assets all over tv, making young ppl think that's how females are supposed to act/dress/look....etc. on and on it goes.

I don't blame Oprah for opening that 40 million dollar girls school in Africa...her reasoning makes perfect sense to me...western kids DO have a sense of entitlement emanating from them, western kids (not to generalize but...a portion) would not appreciate what she was trying to do in the same way as actual *POOR* kids from Africa...

I also don't buy that whole *deal with home 1st* argument (for the record, the ppl that say that shit are never standing in a homeless shelter giving out food or volunteering their time like they expect Oprah to do)...its not like she took 40 million and opened up McDonald's in Africa...she did an amazing thing....she gives a lot of her loot away, in the US as well, I'm not sure why ppl think she cant spend her own $ how she wants to... I have no idea why I'm talking about Oprah at 7 am Sunday morning...i hope I'm still asleep.

I had a customer yesterday...lets call him Peter. Ive been dealing with his ONGOING for the last week...hes one of those *I never shut up long enough for anyone to get a word in edgewise to explain anything to me, then I keep calling and coming back to get explanations and cause huge amounts of time wasted simply b/c I'm an arrogant fucking know it all and i live at home with my mom and I'm 43*...

I think...in a perfect world I would be able to lean over the counter and sever his lips from his face...this would cause him pain so he would stop talking for just a second so i could grab his tongue and cut it out to save the world from enduring another moment of this mans annoying fucking nature. THE END

Friday, January 12, 2007

death ~ taxes ~ ingrates ~ whining

Yesterday I had to wear my skookum shoes in order to not wipe out in the snow on the way to work, which are not all that great for standing for 8 hrs so by the time i got home last night i was crippled, and woke up crippled this morning.

Today is payday and i just examined my paystub and JESUSfarkingCHRIST...Ive been put into a different tax bracket or some such shit b/c now I pay 50.00 more in taxes PLUS another 40.00 for this stupid pension plan i signed up 4, NOT KNOWING id already be looking 50.00 in taxes so Ive now lost 90.00 per pay chq....not much to some but that hurt my feelings a lot....its more than my whole CABLE BILL PAYMENT per month!!!! now its like im paying 2 $150.00 cable bills...Ummmmmm im sorry THAT DOESNT WORK 4 ME!

So im very bitter...more bitter than you will ever know b/c now my chqs are bumped BACK down to an amount i dont feel very good about.

Im calling HR today to see about this tax bracket business....

Now im depressed...that along with my ingrate child who - for some odd reason - has decided she would rather DIE than attend and 45.00 gift cert. make up appt at the Mac Counter @ the Bay that I got her 4 xmas. That was a waste of fucking money. I keep telling her ITS 45.00 WORTH OF PRODUCT and they give u make up tips not to look like Courtney Love....what could be better that free make up? Nope. It makes her UNCOMFORTABLE she says. So im gunna mortify her more thoroughly by changing the Sat. appt to Sunday and I will take her there myself since shes such a big baby about it. I pegged the whole thing wring, i really thought she would dig it, take a fruend, giggle etc. Nope.

I have to keep reminding myself shes 12....mainly so i dont beat her to death.
She turns 13 Feb 1 and its gunna be REALLY low key....I mean REALLY....I know 13 is a milestone of sorts but...it wont change shit all around here...she will keep treating everyone around her like garbage and im not about to celebrate that.

Im glad she was born and all but...im not going gangbusters....her expectation level is stupidly extreme and no matter what happens she will be unsatisfied so...why try too hard?

{can u tell parenting is really turning my crank these days?}
EDIT: turns out HR reverts everyone in January back to the BASIC amounts for taxes and if you want it changed you have to request it. Ugh. So I will be.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Nipplitis, here I come....


(I am a wuss, I admit it, its -1 hahah hahaha BUT ITS COLD, it says it feels like -10 due to wind chill so that counts right??? hahhahahaha) Michelle just mailed me a scarf but im pretty sure it wont be in my mailbox when i go to leave this afternoon. haha Dammit.
Anyway...im dragging Ayla to the IMAX on Sunday, I spent 80.00 for us both to have free annual passes and she WILL DO THE IMAX SHUFFLE with me as a form of parental/child bonding whether she likes it or not...she should be glad its not fucking church i drag her to on Sundays...

Payday is friday thank gawd.
I cant stand Michael Buble...even if he isnt french...
Today is nipplitis day 4 sure...although I admit I do not look like that ----> cold....sadly....
in fact I have never looked like that cold...bc I grew tits that never defied gravity..even, sure they once looked FAR better...
held their own, were firm and stationed...now they are memories of the past...before the shape and life force was suckled out of them, b4 pregnancy ruined their aesthetic value...
Good thing my appeal in the world doesn't revolve around how my tits have weathered over the years. Ha!
Anyway....enough titty talk...

what's that smell?

it looks icy out...

i wish i had those mountain climber boots with the naily spikes so i could walk to work with a tad bit of safety.

im freezing.

im going back to bed.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

snow AGAIN...

Jesus H Christ...I just typed a big word doc on NOTEPAD hahaha what a piece of shit.

After manager meetings i always wanna kill myself...not literally...but thoughts of stabbing myself in the eye to escape the meeting always run through my mind...and lucky me, the next manager meeting is at my house and i get to make sushi for it....can u tell exactly how repulsed i am to have 10 managers in my fucking house eating sushi and then doing a meeting for 8 fucking hours? Maybe ill die before Feb 6.
Laundry is under way...its snowing out AGAIN...I cant believe it...it was 10 degrees yesterday and decent now the ground is covered in frikkin death snow. ARGGGGG

Anyways...im trying to clean my tub...i am going insane...i think all the finish is gone from the tub so its got this gray shit all over it...its driving me mad bc it will not come off.
Right now im about to set the fucker on fire.

wonders never cease....

This is my friend ______.
She will remain nameless due to the obvious.
Is it TYPICAL to wear panyhose w/o underwear? Come on ladies....gawd knows i dunno cuz i havent worn nylons since.....EVER....but...I know as a teen my slutty friend Jill never wore underwear with hers so she could avoid the evil dreaded pantylines...
what I guess im most curious about it if this HOLE IN THE PANTYHOSE
~not to be confused with any other hole~
was present upon getting dressed for work that morning???
Come on _______, leave us an anonymous comment and tell us the scoop!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

how do u make girls stop loving eyeliner?

I loved eyeliner as a kid...i still wear it bc w/o it on i feel like i
just got outta bed or something...
but christonacracker...she will be 13 in a few weeks and im sure
she has already worn more eyeliner in 6 mths than i wore my whole teen
This is all Ayla does with her camera, takes 983475893475834 pictures of herself PER DAY.
My friend Buffy's kid is EXACTLY the same so it doesnt disturb me as much...
Girls are crazy.

mmmmm fudge-cicle.....

Monday, January 08, 2007

Argggggg CBC is Making Me Lose My Mind!

You know, these environmental shows KILL me...nothing makes me more insane.

On the Passionate Eye right now theyre talking about global warming...the effects of pollution, how it messes with the ocean, making it more acidic etc...then watching retard loggers i the congo cut down the most amazing massively huge beautiful trees...ahhhhh gawd....polar bears being underweight due to shrinking ice...underweight polar bears = infertile polar bears = extinct polar bears...stupid poachers carrying around an elephants ear...mudslides...dead reefs...fuck it makes me MENTAL.
Thank gawd being green is getting more popular and hip.
I am secretly glad ill likely be dead before it gets as bad as I think it can get...sadly...it sucks when u give a shit about ppl younger than yourself who get stuck cleaning up the mess.

I have to plant 10 trees to offset my consumption....

Thats my goal...im gunna look how up to make a seedling like the ones they give away on earth day and go planting trees like a fucking lunatic...10 seems low so ill do more since im fat and take up more room and use more resources...its only fair.
Sextuplets born in Vancouver....jesus h christ...has the world gone completely fucking mad? who the fuck would want 6 gawd damn preemie newborns....id fucking shoot myself.

there's an elastic in my popcorn, dear Liza, dear Liza...

yeah there was an elastic in my popcorn at the movie yesterday....
Erica was mortified...I was just glad i didnt eat it so i tossed it on the floor and kept on eating...
Imagine what that thing could have done in my intestines!!!! woooohoooooo self induced gastrointestinal surgery.....barf!

the new girl is supposed to actually show up today @ work....i havent decided if im gunna be nice or not yet...

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Cuz I'm praying for rain ~ I'm praying for tidal waves ~ I wanna see the ground give way

Children of Men....I need to read the book....the movie left WAYYYYYYY too many loose ends for me...but it was good....interesting concept...but with that, I NEED DETAILS! it is worth seeing w/o a doubt...but at the end all I could think of was *I must read the book now*.

I went to the movie with Erica, who just returned from 2 weeks in the UK and Switzerland...got to see all her pictures and hear all her horror stories and adventures...

Skipped Borat/Stranger Than Fiction, maybe later in the week...

Do u ever find yourself, for a split second or 2, thinking about all the things you wish you could do in your life....but then have this clear realization that its just not in the cards for you...not just due to money at all...anyone can save money for something they really want...but more so due to personality and disposition...situation....etc...? Dont gimme all that "you can do whatever you want in life Jen, you just have to make it happen" - no fuck off...theres some shit certain ppl just arent gunna do...its not a BAD thing, it just "is"...
There is my fragmented thought 4 the day...

Ok im tired now....
its been a tough day of lounging and movie watching...ha!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I get a fancy scarf soon....

And it seemed like it was going to be a fine day....then the middle shift person called from an airport somewhere ssaying she wasnt gunna be in...this was at 9 am...she was scheduled for 12 pm.
Effin' B.

Then the day went merrily on once i accepted the fact i was working an 11 hr shift.

Then the day got weirder...a different co-worker got hit by a damn car...nothing fatal but...gawd...so the schedule is completely FUCKED...i just roll my eyes at it all now...i may as well move a cot in and sleep there for fucks sake.

The ppl downstairs are watching a war/airplane movie....their surround sound is shaking the whole apt. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!? I am surrounded by losers.

So I didnt get to go to Children of Men tonight like I planned....but tomorrow its Borat/Stranger Than Fiction night at the Roxy Theatre of Unearthly Delights.....Yeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ayla will not stop talking...errr...rather babbling...I wish to poke myself in the ears with burning hot french fries until i cant hear anymore...

OMFG I wish i could bite my nails.
Im in a highly irritated state at the moment...the hum of my computer is pissing me off.

Friday, January 05, 2007

where the fuck did I park my boat...?

Ohhhhhh fuck it is WET out there....it was even wet indoors at work today....fucking watercooler took a shit and the whole jugs ended up in the carpet so its like a sloppy lake....in a few days the mold spores will grow and we will all dieeeeeeeeee.

Then the rain blew in through a leak in the wall of all places so...tomorrow im bringing water wings...THERE IS AN IMAGE TO BEHOLD!

OMFG the englishman called me at work today. Fuck. He went on and on about how great a time he had xmas day, all I could manage was *well at least u had a good time then*. ha!
I took the bus home it was so rainy and windy out but the short walk fr the bus to home soaked me anyway so....duh
Ayla and her friend are here bugging me with gay music on tv...challenging my authority on REAL MUSIC...rudeness.
Sunday i think me and a few ppl from work are gunna go to the cheap theatre and see STRANGER THAN FICTION and BORAT ha ha haaaaaaaaaa Borat again HA HA HA HA

Im kinda wanting to go see a move sat. night...i will if the weather isnt so extreme. That new one about the world being sterile looks good to me...and Little Children as well cuz i just finished the book.
I have to be up early tomorrow...I guess I should be a good mother and go clean the kitchen and go to bed and leave the ingrates to their own devices....

I promise ill try to be more interesting tomorrow...

just call me bucky

Funny how the littlest things can drive u completely mad....
Turns out my left front tooth is a HAIR longer than it once was....AND I CAN NOT BITE MY NAILS ANYMORE OR BITE SKIN OFF MY LIP!!!!!!!!!
jesus h christ...i know it is not earth shattering bad news and probably will be a good thing but I feel like i have those fake teeth in and cant do anything...its so weird.

Its friday freakshow day at work...I work til 9 then train someone to open tomorrow...FUN FUN FUN...
im going through a *phase* where I am sooooo not in love with my job right now...I think i need a shake up of staff or something...out with the old, in with the new....hopefully itll pass.

got my new cell phone...thanks aunty pam (smooch)....its funky....cant work it quite yet but it wont take long....i dunno why but i got the MusiquePlus version of the phone, not really knowing what that would mean....hahaha I have all these weird ass french things on my phone.....some are funny, some are gay.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

get that dental dam away from my cooch!

OK....1st off....i have never been SO frozen @ the dentist b4 thati could not feel my nose and it affected my vision....
I managed to escape a root canal and got 2 large fillings instead....then one other small one....then my front teeth tiddled up....almost 2 hrs later after I learned to read lips watching The Young & the Restless w/o sound b/c im scared theyll say shit about my teeth when I cant hear - I was done....I got up and was all freaky and lightheaded....was CONVINCED my face was puffed out 3 feet...but alas...it was not....i tried to put lip gloss on in the mirror, that was fun as I felt i had no lips at all...or a nose...
did u know they make sandpaper dental floss?? yes i can say w/o a doubt that was interesting...
im a little weirded out by my front teeth....i just wanted them filed a little so they didnt chip off as they were getting a little thin etc...but she full on kinda re-did the fuckers but now the bottom portion of my teeth are a different color than the top of them...PLEASE TELL ME THIS WILL CHANGE....it makes me wanna rub coffee grounds all over my teeth so the new part isnt all white and shit.
just under 2 hrs and the bill was 900.00
i am most certainly topped out for the year now so im glad cuz i hate that damn place...the dental damn im sure will make my whole face sore for days...
I weasled a ride home with Tracey...she told me not to smile cuz i looked like Quasimodo - then i rented a movie...then i went grocery shopping...and took a cab home...u really dunno how much u use SMILING as a way to not speak to ppl...i ran into about 3 ppl i would generally smile at and i couldnt smile cuz i didnt wanna look deranged so i felt like a rude fucktard but....guess what...im over it already.
Came home and Ayla pissed me off immediately so i threw her - nearly literally - in her room and then laughed at myself cuz yelling the word FUCK with a frozen face is really fucking funny....its like i have cartoon face!

So now im home and im going to gorge myself on fish and chips...then starting tomorrow im trying a new tactic....biggest meal of the day will be my 1st meal...and the rest of the day i will eat frequently but small things...im thinking this might really help my energy level and really it is rather stupid to eat your biggest meal LAST *after* youve worked all day...
(disregard the oatmeal post below....that may end up being my dinner time meal instead...)

Most Disturbing Conversation of the Year

as I look over and see Ayla on the Kevin Federline website

Me- OMFG!!
Her- WHAT!
Me- he is such a loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Her- He is not, he is COOL!
Her- I think its pretty cool he faked britney into thinking he loved her and mooched off her all this time
Me- omg, who are you?
Her- she was too busy dropping her baby to notice
Me- least she looked after her kid long enough to almost drop it, more than u can say 4 him

at this point im disturbed beyond words at where this is going and I shut up.


Bunnyfoo inquired: what's worse, a pap test or a filling...?

While both are intrusive, unnatural and unpleasant ~ the pap wins simply b/c u have to be naked under fluorescent lighting for it....even though a fillings effects are bothersome longer and are more uncomfortable, the fact u get to have a filling whilst clothed makes it a better experience.

I am 100% aware that i can march into that dental office and say NO I DON'T WANT A ROOT CANAL, just do my other fillings and FUCK OFF ABOUT THE ROOT CANAL...i do realize i have that choice...thing is...I'm no dentist...what if they are right and now is the best time to deal with it while it is not *hot* or infected/bothering me? What if i say no and then 3 days later it spontaneously abscesses and then i got in and they look at me like I'm a big dumb fat loser with I TOLD U SO written all over their faces? Its not like they re raping me...its all covered...maybe i should just go into it like its an experiment and wing it...quit over thinking it to death b/c as u can see its only tormenting me and I'm quite sure yer all sick of my whining. ha!

Ayla is still asleep...she bought me SKIN & BONES by the foo fighters yesterday...i guilted her into it bc she never even made me a xmas card for xmas....the turd...of course now i will never hear the end of it...we will be old ladies and ill still hear *remember that time i bought u the foo fighters cd...REMEMBER!!!!* ahahaha even though i bought it 4 myself basically as she used her GC's from the mall it was a very nice gesture and gives me hope in the universe that she wont always be self involved and oblivious to the ppl around her.

She did go spend most of her GC moola on some good clothes yesterday i must say...i was never like that as a kid...my mom wouldn't buy me shit all for clothes so i just didn't have any. PERIOD. My mom was all about buying me what she thought id look *cute* in...you can imagine how that went over. When i was 9 or 10 my mom bought me bell bottom jeans...this was about 1980 and i can assure u THEY WERE NOT COOL...they had a green stripe down the legs and racing flags on the back pockets...she pretty much beat me into them (I'm not shitting u, it was always a power struggle with her) and to spite her and the ugly fucking pants i rolled them up over my knees - oh yes they looked fucking retarded rolled up but to me that was better than wearing gay fucking bell bottoms in Regina, Saskatchewan.

Naturally a few yrs later i just started stealing all my clothing from stores in Ponoka, Alberta...Connie and I had a grand system...not anything that would work now but in small town Alberta it was fab.
I also was the queen as stealing records. Ponoka was a little shit hole, the only record store was the back of a drugstore where they had a small display of LPs for sale.
I walked outta there with Motley Crue's SHOUT AT THE DEVIL....Van Halen's 1984...etc Just pop em under my arm like i was shopping and leave. I was only ever caught once for stealing, years later in a Woolco in Red Deer, Alberta...an Alice Cooper cassette and dangly earrings lol That ended my shoplifting career at 15, I got to sit in jail all night after being arrested b/c my mother was nowhere to be found, at 11 pm they finally gave up calling her and let me leave...only i had just moved to Red Deer and didn't know where the fuck i was....it was a guess as to which way i should even walk, so i took a chance and started walking....a few hrs later things started looking familiar....i eventually made it home...she still wasn't home...she was contacted a few days later about it all...shit hit the fan...this was my 3rd criminal charge in 6 months so social workers stepped in and a judge ordered a pre disposition report be done on me to see if i belonged in a foster home...jesus h christ.
I still have it here, the report...i lied like a sidewalk in it...pretended i loved school and joined the basketball team (for about 3.5 mins) - sadly i was not good at articulating what made me such a lunatic or else my mother probably would have ended up spanked by the judge for sucking so much...I eventually went to live with my grandparents and aunty pam in Powell River BC. Thank fucking gawd.

Gee that was uplifting...hahaha hahahah hahaha

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

shiny balls

Ooooooo look who is passive aggressive.....he never called me back. hahahahaha Ohhh he sure taught me a lesson.
A pleasant ending to a boring 6 months of nothingness.

Denis Leary is having fake tv sex on my tv RIGHT THIS SECOND! My Word!

I am reading this trashy novel right now....I love it....they have sex in it...they commit adultery... they lie and scheme...theyre miserable in their marriages...its like real life.
Guy says NO to the drugs b4 the dentist idea.
Makes sense...

In APOCOLYPTO they made a guy yeat the testicle of a tapir. ha ha ha ha

dumb ass

get ready...im about the call the englishman and tell him we're done...he left me a msg and got all snitty with me...i guess the fact hes called 100x but has left only ONE msg today has pissed him off.

ok crap he didnt answer...so i left him a snotty msg back and now hopefully we can get in a big scrap and thatll be the most fun we have ever had.
honestly...its all just so dreadfully boring and a complete waste of my time i just cant do it anymore...id rather play cards with my kid.

work was the longest 8 hrs ever...my gawd i thought it was 80 hours.

dentist tomorrow is at 230 pm...im hoping ill get swallowed up by a crack in the earth on the way to avoid the whole thing.
thing is the dentist messes with my mouth chi...they always go in there and rattle shit up and then afterwards little things bother me, that didnt b4, that crap makes me insane!
oh well ill just quit being a big baby about it and deal.
ill bring my MP3 player and dope myself up b4 hand....
Do u think thats a bad idea? to take T3's BEFORE i go in?

Mr Good said it out loud....said he is bi polar....way to have balls sir....way to have balls.