Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Germ Warfare

I think Kim brought home kid germs from work. She is not feeling well and I feel I am on my way to not feeling well either. I bucked up for some Vitamin C horse pills and am gobbling echinacea today...hoping for a miracle from the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster in the sky.

Watched a really interesting doc on Netflix last night - HUNGRY FOR CHANGE.  It is interesting to be mindful of the changes in what dietary info we have been fed throughout our lives. The 80's being particularly cruel...the FAT FREE GENERATION is as fat as fuck and that is b/c fat is actually your friend far more than carbs/sugars are. The doc didn't offer much new info but it is all presented in a way that is much more empathetic - I really loved how it made it very clear that an unhealthy body clouds the mind and affects everything in your life (energy levels, concentration/brain function, outlook and mood, sleep, anxiety etc)...stressing that we are programmed to eat food rich in fat and sugar (calories) to save for the famine that might be around the
 corner from days gone body is particularly efficient in this famine preparation...but in just a week that I have been tracking my food on an app on my phone that does all the math etc it is VERY apparent how I ended up goal calories per day is 1500.00 this makes for reasonable and modest meal requirements and healthy snacks...eating a cup cake or a pizza would make the app crash I am sure. The beauty is 1 hour or cardio at my weight burns 600 instead of letting myself eat some heinously tasty food I am banking that at weeks end hopefully I have a deficit in calories thus some fat has been burned off.

Sorry but you are stuck reading my musing about all of this b/c it is just where I am at and I need to talk this shit out to get a real grip on someone who should probably start a chapter of Overeaters Anonymous in her living room this eating and exercising is a complete mindfuck. It is apparent that avoiding bread/wheat/potato/sugar is the key to my success...not surprisingly everyone one of those items is my favorite. ha! I just made a cup of tea with 1 tsp of honey rather than a tablespoon. It tastes like shit....and next time i will not bothering to use any honey b/c really...why bother? I am hoping eventually a cup of unsweetened tea and milk will bring me the same satisfaction of a sweet cup of tea does...and no i will not drink herbal tea - I hate herbal tea. Hot water with a smell FRAUD!!!!

Making this my new mantra.

Great chat with A. yesterday....she is so funny. She is loving her life right now and enjoying her trip so much....I think the dread is creeping in about the fact she has to come home in  under a month...I love how independent she is...fearless and relaxed. I hope she stays relaxed as she gets older and life gets more complicated.
I sure do miss her though... ::blink blink:: ::tear tear::

Friday, April 19, 2013

Slippery Slope (prepare for swear words)

All good things are worth the effort and trouble right?? Right? It seems I need to step up my fitness regime a notch or 2...I am not feeling the effects as much as I want so today I was thinking back to fall did I do that...? Lose almost 70 lbs in the course of 4 mths...? Ohhhh righttttttttttttttttttttt...yeah I ate less and exercised more but I was also distracted by cock and balls. The person attached to the cock and balls was not worthy of that sort of effort then or now but - that C&B set sure were. Funny how that works...seeing that I have now been forever (?) turned off the idea of a relationship or even companionship of a male specimen the C&B distraction is going to be a bit of a challenge to overcome b/c there is nothing like a good set of C&B to make your mind wander during shitty, disgusting, sweaty, miserable exercise to somewhere else so you forget you are on the verge of a gawd damn heart attack.

The problem with the 2009 C&B Campaign of Excellence was that I managed to completely ruin my feet in the process...clearly I did not foresee this or I may have gone a gentler route at a gym or something is what it is...not too many can claim they have had their feet ruined by C&B. So fast fwd to I am with another mangled foot (the other one has been pretty good since the cortisone shot KNOCK ON WOOD!) - even bloody worse - I sleep with a gigantic and stupid looking mock ski boot at night for relief (such a C&B magnet that thing would be), I wear crocs indoors, orthotics outdoors, I do stretching exercises, ice the frickin thing...going to the gym 3 days a week isn't cutting I am thinking of trying 5 days a week for 1 full hour of cardio...

See how I am not in this photo? Yeah...EXACTLY.
The mere thought of no day in between for my foot to recover makes me almost throw up a little...which would mean I would have to go on one of those RIDICULOUS machines I have been avoiding since I joined the gym - THE ELLIPTICAL. I fucking hate elliptical machines...but what I hate even more is being circus fat and having a mangled foot SOOOOOOOOOOOOO I am thinking...what if I just make myself do it - suck it up and just resign myself to the fact that if I want to do this I am going to have to kill my spirit to do it until it becomes normal...every day after work...straight to the gym...weekends will be my sanctity of rest and relaxation...I am gunna give it a go....fml...

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: do not let yourself get is a complete mindfuck and torture to get un-fat. I hate the gym...I hate the ppl there...all the thin ppl running and jogging with their ponytails flapping all happily...the muscle tard men who stare at themselves with masturbatory intensity...the fake titty lady with the athletic physique and manly face who puts make up on BEFORE working out...hate everything about it  - but until I live in a bldg with its own gym this is as good as it is gunna get.

That is my Friday whinge...

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Nazca Lines

NAZCA LINES is A's next stop...they opted out of Lake Titicaca and the Bolivian Salt Flats to have more time to get back to Ecuador and enjoy it there since they all love it so much. Smart girls.

The Nazca Lines are pretty here.

Not the kind of update you expect once someone enters a

Posted by Barb's husband, Amir:

Barbara has made a remarkable recovery in the past few weeks.
The doctors are a bit baffled and the oncologists said that they have not seen this type of recovery before. She truly came back from the brink and so they want to re-image her brain to see what is going on. Whatever it is we have been blessed in the past few weeks with having her present and able to communicate - it has been beautiful.
We believe that it is the power of all her friends' and family's prayers and good wishes and their love that has resulted in this gift. Whatever happens know that it all makes a difference and we are truly grateful. We accept the Universe's blessings. Al-hamdu-lillah!

However it works out I am grateful her family got more time with her...amazing really all things considered...I have taken note that the recent photos of her have her seeming so normal...!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

dead eyes of a tired person

Night Splint
I have them....

My experiment last night was 100% conclusive...without wearing a night splint I have very little hope of healing my plantar fasciitis...I went out and spent 60 bucks on one that just doesn't fit well enough to wear at night without making my gibbley leg sore so I reordered a better one online yesterday (why yes I am rather did you know?)...I am extremely eager for it to get here b/c 1) it is returnable if it doesn't fit right and 2) wearing one means I can walk in the morning and it cuts the pain down to half all day which is friggin astounding...I hardly limp! It is awesome - even after gym days I walk mostly normal....I have never been so excited to get something that looks like a torture device....and while not totally awesome to wear to bed every night the benefits outweigh any clunky night time discomfort...the last 3 days of walking properly have been THE I will be a hobbling asshole, I can tell. Wearing crocs indoors at home and never being bare foot helps a lot has been an expensive week...crocs...splints...oh the price of aged decrepity (I invented this word...pretty sure it isn't one haha)

No word from A. since leaving for the 4 day trek to Machu Picchu...I knew it would be like this so I am not totally losing my marbles though...I will say I look fwd to her being back b/c I absolutely LOATHE being glued to my cell phone when I am not home just in case she gets a chance to be online and I get a special Facebook alert - and then we can chat...if I leave my desk at work and go to the bathroom and realize I forgot it I totally panic thinking she might be messaging me.................loser. hahaha I haven't missed her yet though...only 41 days to go! (ughhh)

Wow this was boring.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


 click on THIS for a virtual tour of where A. is going...3night/4day tour - mountain biking, zip lining, hiking..........a grand trek. Trying not to think about it.... :: barf ::

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Busy downloading night...

With the Walking Dead season over as of last week and the Californication season finale on tonight that just leaves my glorious Game of Thrones for Sunday nights...I did start watching Vikings...but...I was in it all for the one hot Viking and the show was kinda...meh. I may revisit...not sure.

I watched a really sad documentary today on Netflix - quite by accident - wasn't really looking for a blubbering crybaby fest this afternoon...It is called DEAR ZACHARY (2008) not look it up, do not read the bottom of this post b/c I am going to talk about it and blow it for anyone who hasn't seen it so be warned....avoid the red text below until you watch it if you have any intention to. The premise is it is an amazing story about a man who was murdered and his friends and family in this doc are just so compelling. The story unfolds with a Canadian connection which is really interesting and stunning many shocking twists...Maureen! Barb! Someone watch it so I can talk to you about this before I need to go to a therapist.

A. and girls are on their way to Cusco, Peru which is the closest place to Machu Picchu...and after that they are making their way to Bolivia (I KNOW! NEWS TO ME TOO!) to see the salt flats. After Googling it I can see why....stunning landscape. CLICK HERE FOR PHOTOS
She sounded good when we talked yesterday...proud of herself for being smart and listening to her mother to never trust anyone ever and being the only one the other day who didn't have $ stolen from her bag b/c she kept in on her at all time...Ohhh I was proud as shit that moment - not gunna no one. Ever.

Ok I am going to talk about that anyone planning to see it due to being a sucker like me and loving stories about real people....STOP READING NOW.

NOW this man who is a young doctor (Andrew) gets murdered by his psycho ex girlfriend he just dumped...he was an only child and quite a lovely man b/c his friends are just full of undying love for this guy...and his folks...crazy ex killer runs from the US back to Canada where she is from - Newfoundland. Extradition crap gets under way and then it turns out hes 4 mths preg with the poor dead Andrew's baby...well his parents are beside themselves...they cannot let that monster have custody of the baby...the only living part of their dead they use everything they have - sell their house...and move to friggin Newfoundland...the Canadian authorities granted crazy lady bail awaiting extradition which is fucked b/c she already fled the US to escape charges so how is she NOT a flight risk...anyhow...she has the baby - Zachary...**which all this is happening Andrew's bff is making a film, going and seeing every person Andrew ever knew - family, friends etc...all over the US and the UK - getting stories and details and footage for this film he is making for Andrew's son who will never know his father** The grandparents get visitation but it is lame....eventually crazy goes back to jail and they get custody of the baby for nearly a year...which was awesome even though the conditions mean they have to visit the jail weekly with the baby for hours and hours...and deal with crazy calling all the time to talk to the baby and get updates etc...totally fucked. The parents FUCKING HATE THIS WOMAN but in order to do whats best for the baby they do this...amazing people...just stunning character. The Canadian govt lets crazy out AGAIN FFS....and they have to give the baby BACK! HORRIBLE....she is nuts...shes manipulating and fake and horrible...the baby is totally attached to gramma by this point and prefers her to crazy mom...and this enrages crazy mom (who has a bunch of other kids she has little to do with)...the whole time u are watching fearful that she is gunna kill the grandparents.....but in the end she killed herself and the baby and its so fucking shocking in the film - I think bc the film was NOT heading there at was not part of the planned outcome at all...I cannot even describe the crazy mom drugs the baby and then wraps him in her sweater and jumps into the cold Atlantic. The End. Both dead. So in the mean time before this the film maker has come up and met the baby and has the footage and has compiled all these amazing stories, photos etc...and now Zachary is gone too - murdered by the same twat who murdered his father. The parents are just broken......and become advocates....and get an inquiry happening...get some ppl fired for dropping a lot of balls etc....but in the end their only son and grandson are murdered. FML it was terrible...the film is really a wonderful heartfelt tribute to made me wish I knew him fucked up......... :SOB:

Saturday, April 06, 2013

a quicky

The Raven Lady in Ucluelet, BC - My boss was kind enough to grab me a photo while she was there last this statue...haven't visited her in a very long time...Deanna and I took a day trip up to Long Beach a zillion years ago and she was one of my favorite stops. Glad she is still there.

this is ringing very true these days

Someone I know is getting a goat and I am a bit jealous...b/c lil goats are cute as heck...though I imagine they are like mischievous children with moderate retardation and that sounds like a lot of responsibility to me.