Sunday, July 29, 2007

Sunday....Missed the Short Bus to Church Again

I feel much better today....

I think I was poisoned yesterday by the KFC Tracey made me eat at work. Or it was the AC on the bus out to Colwood...either way its all good now.

Last night was MARIO KART DUI Night....Amanda/Erin/Donna/Cynthia all invited themselves over to hump my couch and play MK whilst drinking....I was the only sober one...(see, I learned my lesson from the last drunk dialing episode haha).

I made a point of not having music on thinking that would save me from the landlady wrath but nope....2 am KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK....she didnt even say one word to me, she just LOOKED at me when I answered the door and left. hahah hahhaha hahahah hahahah fuck... I will take her a peace offering later and apologize. Im so fucking mature.

I broke out the *weird gifts from my mom* box...the used bo stick...the reflective tshirt...the boyfriend pillow with one arm etc...Donna was kind enough to model for us...Erin was nice enough to take it off my hands and is now the new proud owner of a bright orange tshirt with yellow reflective tape that is too damn small for her. And Cynthia made out with my one armed 2 of a kind Richard Whitman boyfriend pillow.

Due to my sobriety I managed to open a bottle of wine Donna brought with a paring knife and a screwdriver. I rule.
No idea why Cynthia has been practicing making this face....
And below thats Donna talking with her hands...drunk out of her mind...ranting about her
dog being the devil, her attempts at being the ALPHA at home with no success...

Amanda (above) and Anthony and Erin (below)
I dont think Anthony knew what to do with all our graphic
conversation... ha ha ha

Cyn the Make Out Queen
and that below is Anthony.

damn lesbian fondling....

Thursday, July 26, 2007


so what do ya do? go with the theory that life is short and let EVERYTHING go...? I mean, no wrong was done to me, her life choices are her own, I love her dearly regardless...yet at the same time I am amazed she waited 5 months after the birth of her daughter to tell me about it...even though I knew already on some level.
But then do I blame her? I judged her...friends arent supposed to judge...yet I did. I couldnt help myself. I was so angry when she went back to that fucking abusive asshole after all the things that transpired between them, I cant grasp the the need to be with someone so much that you will sell yourself short in such a way.
And yes....there she very best and oldest friend from a time gone by that neither of us care to relive...with a baby girl on her lap, both of them looking beautiful.
This is a significant moment in her life, a new beginning, shes changed now, forever, likely for the better I am happy to say...with so much more to share...and im sitting here still mad and hurt and at the same time so incredibly happy for her...wanting every morsel of detail about the whole experience...desperate to speak with her...I think I might be handicapped by my own emotions. Story of my life.
Maybe I will phone her this weekend and just let it all fucking go...cuz is short is it not...? When I had my daughter her and I werent speaking....she has her daughter, her and I arent kinda retard shit is this?
I shall ponder more.

hmmmmm did i handle that right?

i fucked up a batch of bread the other day and the house reeks of yeast...b/c the nasty buns i made went straight into the garbage and they are lingering in yeast hell in there b/c aylas too much of a dick to take te garbage out in a timely fashion.


ok im mindfucked...
u all remember me being torn and angry over my friend connies situation...?? well for the last year ive had a feeling i would hear from her with a baby announcement....just figured i would eventually...
yesterday i open my mailbox and there is an envelope from her...and all i wondered was if it was a boy or a girl....
turns out its a girl.
kaitlyn rose
born back in Feb.
she is cute as a button, looks JUST like connie....very smiley and sweet...

and then began the mindfuck.

ill write more still processing and trying to me mindful as to why im feeling so fucked in the head over it all.

kelly and co get here today and ayla leaves tomorrow...i close tonight which sucks ass...


Wednesday, July 25, 2007


that's the view i always see....Ayla kicking my butt at mario kart!

the rare and elusive wild sea porcupine



Tuesday, July 24, 2007

happy tuesday

ooooh yeah....a day off...i think we are hanging out with buffy and rachel today...actually buffy and i will ditch the brats and do something better. haha

buffy just got a siamese gawd those things are the most annoying sounding things take it to the river in a burlap bag and a rock i think.
my moms 2nd husband had an old siamese was the most annoying piece of crap ever....crosseyed and whiney moewy...gawd my mom and i hated that cat. Its name was turkey.
I hated that cat almost as much as I hated my moms 2nd husband...

Drew Carey is replacing Bob Barker on the Price is Right. I am not sure what i think of that. Better than Rosie O'Donnell.

I still love my fact every day i sit on it and think im dreaming...sighhhhhh....
3 days and Ayla is gone to PR.......*does happy dance*

Sunday, July 22, 2007

attention whore? i think not

Ayla said tonight she thinks i lose at mario kart for attention...?? wtf is that? its me and her in the room and im ranting and flipping out b/c I need attention? bloody hell, that kid is huffing gas in her room, im sure of it....

I had a really trippy dream last of those ones that makes u think....I dont often dream of my brother so when I do it is usually significant to me but last night was weird.

I have been conversing recently about trust and all that jazz so in this dream it was about a group of dangerous criminals, all was my brother. All were cuffed and chained and locked up so they couldnt hurt anyone...Obviously i was having some serious conflicts as I wanted to set my brother free but i knew he would kill me if I did let him go....through the whole dream he had a large kitchen knife in his hand and was absolutely frightening, looking like a murderous freak, seething with some point I say fuck it and not only let him out but all of them at the same time...he was the only one i didnt run from, I was certain he was going to kill me but I stood there waiting for him just bc I wanted to see him so badly....he ran at me with the knife out ready to skewer me....and then at the last minute just stopped and hugged me and took off...

What a mindfuck.

Went and sawI NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY or whatever its called today...funny...and as much as ive never been fond of jessica biel she really has a great ass...and im not even gay or into girl ass....

im going to bed now....losing @ mario kart is exhausting.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Barb you MUST go see "Once". I thought about u the whole time throughout the movie and think it is right up your alley....take Eva and go will die...the soundtrack is gunna be in my top 10 faves of all time i think.....fuck....plz go. If u hate it I will reimburse your movie ticket $ - no shit!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

ooooo bring on the irishness that makes me swoon...

holy has not called me ONCE today....UNREAL! I like it!

aunty pam got her condo in nanaimo...woooooohoooooooooooooo she is happy to not be looking for a place to live anymore.

aylas summer plans are stable and rectified....she will be going to PR and surfing with a friend after all so she has shut up with the whining for 10 mins at least.

I am off to see ONCE with Arika tonight....CLICK HERE
an irish musical of sorts hahahah are u all barfing yet? Tydes is hahahaha
I think it looks fab....

I have 2 mosquito bites on the same arm that are driving me mad!!!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

pass the diapers please

This is my new sofa...that is not me on it though in case you thought i just lost a lot of weight....aunty pam treated me to a sofa...didnt you all know she was independently wealthy??
haha I gotta say I have the best auntys in all the world....they are always treating me to great stuff that I wouldnt bother investing in myself (new couch etc) ~ they more than make up 4 my non-maternal mother....THANK YOU AUNTY C & P! You bitches are da BOMB haha I love ya.
Ayla is home n reeking her usual havoc....
Maggie loaned us her Nintendo 64 so Ayla and I have MARIO KART WARS like nobodies business...i fucking love that game, im not much of a gamer...totally uncoordinated...but its soooooo much fun!
Ohhhh I better go...i think im hemmoraghing...hemmroging....bleeding to death

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Bubble in Motion

cousin kelly took this fabulous picture.....i friggin love it.
Click on it 4 the full effect!

Friday, July 13, 2007

L@@K WHO IS 40!!!!!!!!!!!???


WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO least your folks were good 4 something!!!!


Ohhh Henryyyyyyy

Ohhhhhh yeah Henry Rollins here I comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

This is my LAST concert/event for the year of 2007....I SWEAR!!!! I will make a quicky trip over to Vancouver on Oct 30th and come home the next day...I will stay at Bruce's, I will not fall down and wound myself, I will not drink alcohol, I will not be a shithead and act like im richie rich.....short and sweet and frugal is my plan!

Ayla will be home Saturday....the silence and bliss shall be shattered.


Ok crap - I have to get ready 4 work...


Word of the Day
triskaidekaphobia \tris-ky-dek-uh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun:

A morbid fear of the number 13 or the date Friday the 13th.
happy friday the 13th fuckers.
ok check out what happened to me yesterday, this shit freaks me out.
Im walking to work lamenting in my head about how i looked like a gramma at the deftones and thought that perhaps this year i have seen enough concerts b/c - you know - its not like im rich and gone are the days when ALL my $ should go to concerts and i decide after incubus in Aug and Matt Good in Sept i should cool it and take a break...refocus the moola....

then i started thinking about what concert would make me change my plan....and the only person who I thought of was Henry Rollins doiong a spoke nword show again cuz the 1st one was so frikkin fab...ok what happens next im not fucking making up....

about 30 seconds later my cell BUZZES to tell me that I have a text...I open it, its Arika, proclaiming that Henry Rollins is in Vancouver Oct 30 to do a spoken word show...
OK so its like my BRAIN sucked in the text msg b4 it reached my phone, how cool is that, MY BRAIN ABSORBS TEXT MSGs out of thin fucking air....?!?!?!?!?! ok so now im thinking its meant to be. i must go, its all a sign from the universe indicating i need to be there....

So....I hear CFOX has a pre-sle going on i sign up when i get home.....get the my aunty pam and ask if she can pimp me some concert tix via her CC info...shes on board....i go back the site...its 10:04 pm....the pre sale ended at 10 pm. hahahah hahhaha hahahhaha so then im thinking *ohhhhhhh the universe likes to fuck with my mind* ~ i shouldnt take it personally but i do haha so anyway this am im gunna get tix and they will be POO SEATS but it doesnt matter cuz so long as u can hear henry that is where the entertainment lies...I will remember to wear a diaper this time bc i nearly pissed my pants laughing last time. I will go with Arika and her BF and Bruce again this time. I am thinking ill just get a hotel room downtown for one night and come right back home the next day so it doesnt turn into a big fucking 4 day drunken loser ordeal where I come home wounded and ill....

Ok so that was my ESP adventure of the week.
Thank you aunty pam for pimping me some more concert are da bomb!

So....I love CHAMPIONS OF NOTHING on the new MG album....i love that he sounds so pissy while he sings me a boner....

"Champions Of Nothing"
When Hollywood runs out of Indians
When the bar stars melt and their golden hair turns into glass
When Hollywood runs out of Indians
When the bubble bursts and the first are come for by the last
There's something in the way you move
Makes me catch a cold
There's something in your "too cool for school"
When you slide up and down my pole
There's something in the way you look
That only casts a shadow
When Hollywood runs out of Indians
Only the Indians will know
A kick in the head, pass it around
Begging for a bed, pass it around
Pass it around
And I'd say what you'd say
It makes me feel nothing
There's a car waiting to take me to something
At the end of my rope there's
A new world, it's snowing
The globe it starts shaking
Is it me not worth knowing?
The white coats are melting
The snow down our mountains
To process the rivers for hallways, and fountains
And I'd say what you'd say
But it makes me feel nothing
Til there's a man waiting to take me to something
That I'm for
Hell - It looks red in all it's pictures
My sisters sing laments
While their skin blisters
(take your time, take your time, take your time)
Offered down on the floor
Nobody goes above decks
No, not no more
They say the sun is still shining
That you can feel it in your core
But I ain't seen nobody move
That weren't going for the door
And I'd say what you'd say
Champions of nothing
But there's a car waiting to take me to something
At the end of my rope
There's a new world, it's glowing
The globe it starts shaking
Was it you not worth knowing?
The white coats are melting
The snow down our mountains
To process the rivers for hallways, and fountains
And I'd say what you'd say
But it makes me feel nothing
Til there's a man waiting to take me something
That I'm for...

I love that verse in orange....gawd...when i hear that live i might piss myself.
im going back to bed......

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

34 = 93.2

ok so when it says its 34 but feels like 37 wtf is that??

how about its 34 degrees and it feels like HELLS INFERNO!!!???? how about that?

barb turned me on to the celsius conversion thingy bc my elementary calculation thing isnt all that accurate....i dunno why i bother....anything over 20 degrees is just fucking wrong in my eyes.

but ill be at work in ONE hour with AC on for 8 hrs...ohhh the blissssssssssssssssssssssssss

you know its hot out when i drag out the capri pants, cankles or not.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

30 + 30 = 60 + 30 = 90ish

its hot.

cant...speak...too hot....deftones....were sweaty...i was...sweaty....bad too old, geriatric concert attender...felt like doofus....

gawd help melting....into a....puddle of....crisco.

Monday, July 09, 2007

in the house of flies....

Deftones tonight but I gotta say I am bummed im not going with Michelle, who was the intended
attendee of this event...
While I am always happy to hang out with Arika, dont get me wrong, im sad Michelle B cant be here... *pout*
Check out my butt in grade 6....I had no ass even then....ive certainly made up 4 it now mind u but...even more amusing is the piggy tails in my
hair hahahaha
I found a BLUE goblet today!!! Ooooo la la that bring the cheesie goblet collection up to 4!!!
I sent my mom a picture of myself the other day...her reply was classic crappy mom reply:
Your hair is looking awfully dark! Did you dye it ?
The glasses seem hard, but am getting used to them... I kinda liked the other ones better..
Wow....isnt she a champ? Oh well at least she is amusing....I guess I should be glad she didnt mention how fat I am. haha
I am kidless all week....Ayla and friend decided to stay on the whole week....
Ohhh yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

don't touch the penis!

I ditched the baby shower. Gawd I hate such gatherings with such passion and vigor I dont even feel guilty about it.

I went about my day with great gusto....sleeping from 11 am to 2 pm....oh yes I am a fantastic sloth. I decided I must shower and get ready as soon as i get up so I stop this horrible napping thing I have going on right now. Its like summertime narcolepsy.
So im gunna hit the road today at about 7 to go do a new photosession with Dugan the Wonder Dog who is apparently damn huge already after only a few weeks!
Got some pictures from Maggie already, so cool:

Eagle River ~ Ayla & Niamh

Maggie says: Niamh with the anatomy layer puzzle. You should have seen them tossing the penis at each other when she did the boy one. HAHA "eww it's on you" "eww why are you touching it" "omg it almost went up your pants" HAHA Maggie rolls her eyes. haha

Saturday, July 07, 2007


Ohhhh the bliss....the bliss of silence and breezy nights, streaming the new MG is a phenomenal experience, this new album....I am swooning.

Ayla is in PR til tomorrow night...hanging with her friend and the rellies...sounds like lotsa fun.

Today I went out to Colwood to work 4 a bit on a quarterly report...then ventured to the arena to get my deftones and incubus sad cuz michelle b cant make it to the deftones ~sniff sniff~ it wont be the same w/o her.

Tomorrow I have a baby shower to go to and I do not have a gift or a snack to bring HAHAHAHA im in denial...I HATE going to these fucking things...I dunno how I was convinced to go to this one...i blame the prozac.

Guy's back from the far reachs of the wild...looking fwd to hanging out with him this summer...

Thursday, July 05, 2007

I am a dead seal thing rotting on the beach

I think I am going mad.

I have just spent the last 2 nights ATTEMPTING to train the sloth-girl @ work and both nights have been a few of the worse closes EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

In fact, the last 2 days have been so bad that I will have to reschedule more training shifts and redo it alllll again. oooooooh yes.

Then i come home to the aroma of GARBAGE...I dunno what it is my kid has against FRESH fucking AIR but she refuses to open the damn a day of this heat and not taking out the garbage...LOVELLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I think I am capable of commiting murder....seriously...I was so bad to a collection call today I will probably get in muchos shit 4 it...this girl started bitching me out and swearing and snippy and i was already foul and the whole conversation turned extra sour when I asked her if she would like a tissue.

Ugh...maybe i do need to become a pot smoker? maybe id be more relaxed?

Ayla and Niamh are going to Powell River on Sat. overnight...just a quicky visit bc we have a friend heading up there...then they will be back Sunday night, late...I look fwd to the silence. MuHAHAHHAHAHA

One more day and then the weekend off....jesus christ...and I didnt win Matt Good tix this tomorrow morning is my last chance b4 they go on sale...I have already resigned myself to paying for them so....fuck it.

I think me spazzing out 1st thing in the morning to try to win tickets has made me insane...thank gawd tomorrow itll be over....

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

melting into a big giant puddle of lard...

...pant pant pant...

its hot out.

i am looking fwd to getting to work to enjoy the AC.

i didnt win tickets again this morning....caller 1 and 3


one more day to win b4 they go on sale and i gotta buy em.
buying tickets stresses me the fuck out...i swear it takes 5 yrs off my life everytime im trying to buy tickets online. EEEEVIL.

we are having Niamh over for 3 days while her folks are away.
this will make me grateful i didnt have more than one.

ayla is foul today.
i would like to slap her upside the head...
ayla + me + 29 degrees = death wish
i will have a freezing cold shower now...

tonight i am teaching someone to close...pray 4 me. she is not so quick.


Tuesday, July 03, 2007


did not win the pair of beat the box office matt good tickets this morning.

i may perish.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

where is the carosene?

Just when things are going oddly well my kid gets fucking lice. (you can all start scratching your heads now cuz im gunna rant)...
And WHY?? Well b/c her and her retarded friends always touch heads for pictures....and dont think twice about it...the sleepovers etc....since moving to this city my kid has had lice 987234578346573465 x....ive gone my whole life w/o I guess this is the payback...

So yeah...last night I got to pick eggs and grossness out of her hair (I dunno HOW they survive the blowdrying, personally....)

I am no longer too uptight about this grossness b/c as stated above I am now a professional lice toxic shampoos required....just good ol light and manual picking and my fancy 40.00 comb that works like a hot damn....

What bothers the everloving shit out of me is no ones called me to say their kid has lice...?? For yrs i would humiliate myself and Ayla and call all her friends parents and let them know it was going around many calls did i get? Yeah ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So am I calling and telling ppl anymore....Uhhhh no b/c honestly, I dont think they do shit all about it anyway. So fuck all u lazy twat parents who let their kids have bugs. Fuck u.

ok rant over.

Looks like it is gunna be warm out...I should go outside....and I just might....walk to a park with my book...notice how my activity always ends up with me sitting somehow?

I am cursed.

Ardene was talking fondue for tonight....I dunno if i like seems extreme....i dont feel the need to dip anything in cheese aside from a nacho chip....

Ayla's alarm has gone off 3x and I love hearing her jump up sleepily and bound over to it and make it snooze for 15 mins ha ha ha ha

I went to Rogers last night and scored 2 previously viewed dvds for NO MONEY wooot wooot

I have points racked up for 1 free dvd and the deal was 2 for 1 so i got Little Miss Sunshine and The Painted Veil (sighhhhhhh I love u Edward) for nothing.

Then I came home to the bug fest. See how nothing good ever just gets to be GOOD!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh yeah HAPPY CANADA DAY u fuckers.

I will not be drinking beer....or camping...gawd how i loathe camping...

i havenot camped a lot as an adult, mainly b/c it is just not my idea of a good time...I dont like tent sleeping...i dont like bugs and critters...I dont generally like being out in hot weather so...u know, it just doesnt work for my old prissy self.

Last time I went camping I lasted 10 hrs b4 i demands a ride home.

Time b4 that it was all about getting laid in a tent so I was a little more into it but...yeah w/o that aspect camping is just gay.

Ok I think im going back to bed now.