Saturday, March 29, 2008


No more phone/internet for a couple of days...

My neck is still fucked and after spending all day yesterday in a T3 haze I wont be doing that again...some junkie I would make. Lame.

My new carpets look fab...they are dark enough to not show ANYTHING and light enough to not look 70s haha

My house is a friggin shitshow...poor aunty pam.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

there is a hole in my bucket...

ok not really but....

tracey just told me my new apt isnt bigger than the one im in...

could this be true?

now im mortified.

AUNTY CATHY!!!!!! tell me its not true!

im having renters/movers remorse already and i havent even moved yet.

tracey sez im a pack rat and i have a problem and need to see someone about it.

that would be the LAST thing i saw a doctor about...seriously...

i do need to get rid of a lotta shit gunna put that butt ugly trunk of mine in storage though thats 4 sure...that thing is HUGE and annoying to try and put somewhere that isnt still a pain in the ass.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO downsizing seems to be the key....ya ya ya im a packrat....whatever.

there are worse things but a person already so muddled and scattered it is not a bad idea to make an EXTRA point of getting rid of excess crap.

i took a T3 after work and loved it...they make me feel warm n fuzzy...i bought these heat patches for my busted neck and they helped the warm n fuzzy feeling too...i cant wait to sleep tonight...MUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

my house is a shithole....

neck crink

Moving with a neck crink should be fun.... (yes I am so full of sarcasm and botterness I cant even make this funny)

Last night i was walking home from work at 10 and i had my headphones on and this kid is looking at me and it looks like hes talking to me so i pause my song...say PARDON....and he takes his phones off and says HUH? and I laugh....bc i thought he was talking to me but he was just singing hahhaa he is drunk and stinking like a bottle of crown royal....and i ask him what hes listening to....hes listening to WEIRD AL...which all in itself is really comical...and he asks if he can sing to me...I of course say I insist so as we walk up the hill together hes bellowing out WHITE & that ends and he lets me pick the next song he is gunna sing for me as we i pick System of a Down bc i think this will be super funny....and it was. ha ha ha

I bid him farewell at the corner...nice kid...scary that hes out on a school night drunk out of his mind though....he only looked 15 or 16.

Last night I got home from work and just went to a fuggin idiot bc i should be staying up as late as i can preparing but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ms old lady cranky pants with a neck crink just goes to be before 11 pm cuz she has all the time in the world....I wanna get as much done as I can b4 Pam comes tomorrow night so it doesnt look like I left work for her....fuck i musta been catholic in my last life, i feel guilty for shit that is so retarded even i recognize its insane.

I went and looked at the new apt....omfg...its bigger but i dunno where the F anything is gunna go....I need to take a valium and shut the hell up i think and stop worrying about shit that doesnt really matter.

Last night I had some fuckwad come in and whine about the price of money orders (they went up a buck) - i think he wanted me to give him a deal or something going on and on about how his bank is the same price and he will just be going there now...I said that was unfortunate (like i givea flying fuck if he comes in to buy a cocksucking money order once a fucking year - fuck off asshole)...good luck getting one at the bank after work when the bank is closed. HA!

Ayla is in a coma...ive been trying to get her up for 20 mins.

Yesterday the cat SIGHED.

I shit u not....she was sitting beside me and i was looking at her and she let out this big sigh....and i was like OMG YOU ARE THE CUTEST CAT ON THE PLANET!!!!!! Not only does she fetch, she sighs.

She probably wonders why the hell I build her such an awesome obstacle course of boxes....? haha it is a cat wonderland in here right now.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Happy Birthday Hot Donna!!!

omg the cat just POLLUTED the whole not even kidding, i bet she made the paint peel off the walls UPSTAIRS...and b/c shit is all packed and not where it should be I cant even find a friggin match to sulphur-ize the atmosphere...

went and saw THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL on sunday....fucking loved it and left feeling DAMN grateful that I was not female in that era.

I just sent Ayla and her 2 girlfriends to see it and was SO friggin' glad to have Ayla see a movie that was not complete garbage 4 a change...the 3 of them actually enjoyed it...

i was such a dick tonight after work, i did NOTHING...........i even resorted to watching extreme make-over to avoid packing and i friggin DETEST that show...i can not stand to hear ppl say shit like "oh she will be the same old Julie just beautiful"

OMFG...................why dont u just say "oh she will be the same old Julie just not a butt ugly fucking skank face."


I should go to bed...another way to avoid packing.
Happy Birthday DONNA are a lovely lady!
Holy shit....check out Buffy's kids opening for Allison Crowe.....theyre so friggin cool haha way to go guys!
Mary, have u popped yet?

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Here they come....

the boys in the bright white sports car....

Yeah I found a cheap copy of Trooper's HOT SHOTS yesterday at Future Shop so I'm grooving...

Yesterday Shawn and I went whoring for boxes...and had some lunch...and looked for a lamp since my cat has completely finished off mine now...(I finally turfed it in the garbage b/c it no longer is a funny conversation was a mangled piece of shit from top to bottom)...Shawn and I then went to visit his mom in the hospital...she has rhuemaskjheshwr arthritis and is in pretty bad stages apparently...i thought she looked good personally...then I realized she is only 52, which is 3-4 yrs younger than my own mother and then it all kinda came together. I feel really bad for Shawn....he is a real *if u can believe it and want it you can do it* sort (yeah we fight about that a lot hahaha) and it kills him to see shes given is all quite sad knowing Shawn's history and seeing him still looking out for her and being the only one really that does. He is an exemplary human I must say.
Makes me wanna hug him....dont tell him though or he will be all over me with his gaylord accent trying to rub titties with me.

Today - as soon as im done here - im forcing myself to kick some serious ASS around here b4 i take Donna to a movie for her birthday at noon...
i had the most hideous dream last night....I thought my friend Arika died...and I was bawling my head off....only to find out it wasnt her at all it was her friend then I cried anyway....and then I got a call i was supposed to tell this lady who was coming over that her daughter died bc no one could get ahold of her and I was shitting....and i was confused bc by this point I dunno who the hell was dead and who i tell this woman her daughter is dead and shes looking at me like im a fucking retard....while im bawling my head off and sobbing uncontrollably saying how sorry I am...shes telling me her daughter is fine....she just saw her so i call Arika and Arika says *no stupid thats not what i told u to tell her*....omfg it was sleep trauma last night.


Saturday, March 22, 2008

I feel like such a fragile flower growing in a mound of horse shit

As u can see i changed my shit up a little....

I needed a change...a little brightness...

A little cheer...

As I get older i really see that how I react to situations really has determined my state of living currently...I always thought I dealt with stress so well...honestly...i really thought that...but now with some age and objectivity I can see clearly I really don't...and never really did. Sure, I didn't act out the rage and homicidal tendencies I felt but going around beating ppl up, eating my face off and bottling up my emotions really hasn't served me well.

I was thinking of this of course b/c yesterday I made myself ILL at is stressing me out...moving is stressing me out...this new Dr is stressing me out...perhaps cutting back on the meds is affecting me more than I thought it would...i dunno but...either way...i need to chill the fuck out cuz yesterday I ate HIDEOUS food at work and had heartburn to kill 10 billy goats.

Speaking of billy goats...i keep seeing billy goats...not flying through the sky or anything that amazing...but shapes of billy goats on the ground when i walk to work. I will take a picture so u all dont think im coming unglued.

Aunty Cathy just called and asked if i needed a hand moving...OMFG she was just here! She may be able to come back for a few days....and then Aunty Pam said she would take the 31st off and come help me....

CHRISTONACRACKER I LOVE MY AUNTYS!!!! They are really fucking the best thing since sliced bread...seriously...yayaya my mom is a dud but I lucked out in the aunty dept. and it more than makes up for my mom being a crazy whacko.

I love my mom but she really has no idea what *family* means and it really shows by how she treats her family so...yay 4 the auntys!!!!!


Today Shawn and I are going to get boxes...woooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Thursday, March 20, 2008

time 4 a new clock

I am getting a new fucking clock....

This morning was not the 1st time I have ended up getting up 1 hr earlier than needed (445 AM!!!) bc my alarm clock is GAY!

Oh well I got to eat breakfast AND check mail so what else is there really?

I didnt realize that I opened this morning until about 11 pm last night. Fuck.

I will be home by 4 and napping hahhahahahahahaha Old lady....

My dream came true yesterday and I deeked my Dr appt...she was running behind and by 415 there was still 2 ppl ahead of me and 2 behind me so I knew it would be a rush job so forget it.

The cat ate a silverfish this morning.....good kitty!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Poke & Scrape # 834653645876345

I should be packing but....I am not.

Aunty Cathy has left me here alone in teenage purgatory, to cook for myself and relearn how to clean up after myself haha
I hope she enjoyed her visit as much as I did...we did a lot of laughing, as do all the females in this family...I definitely think we all have a good time together when we arent in pissy moods wanting to kill each other hahahahha

Anyhow, shes back home being a wife to her husband (RUDE)...

I have a Dr appt today for a complete physical so I am psyching myself up for my spirit to leave my body at just the right time...Oh how I loathe getting violated in such a way...
SPeaking of violation, cathy bought herself a Neti Pot while she was here...apparently you will it with warm salt water and shove it in one nostril and it dribbles out the was a lot of fun watching her do this...hahah She said it worked pretty damn good...Ayla watched in horror, but with great interest hahahahahahhaa
This giant garlic looks like a cooch to me....sorta...Thank you Mrs Vanelli's food court pizza peddler for the great photo op!
Ayla is over her most recent psychosis...although im sure a new one will follow shortly.
I just pine for her tohave her own bathroom that she can smear with friggin eyeliner whilst leaving me alone in my own bathroom to decorate with frogs and enjoy the mak
e up less countertop! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO Oh its the simple things...
I am currently thinking of ways to get out of this Dr appt.
Who would have ever thought cooking with cheap ass shitty pots and pans would be so different than cooking with solid, skookum stuff?? We recently just got upgraded in the pots n pan dept via aunty cathy and now have these good quality lagostina cookware...only Ayla and I dunno how to friggin cook anything in the frying pan bc it really does cook differently than we are used to. She made herself hashbrowns the other morning and from my room I could hear her bellow, "IT WILL NOT COOOOOOOKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEE" hahahahahahahhaha
It wont take us long to get used to it...esp in the new place, the big kitchen will be a welcomed change and I am hoping will encourage more cooking.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

mmmm cookies

Aunty Cathy made peanut butter cookies...I have one melting in my mouth RIGHT NOW!

Tonight was the paint marathon...we put 5 THEMES each into a bag and I picked one of hers and she picked one of mine. HA HA HA The last round was awesome, she picked BONER and painted a penis with a halo and angel wings...I picked ABSTRACT SHAPES and painted a crotch flower and penis/blue balls. I think we are genetically corrupted.

Went to see 10,000 BC last night. What a piece of complete shit. It was trying hard to be as good as Apocolypto but it failed miserably...the acting was poo, the plot was poo and the cinematography was gay.
It was so fucking retarded....wooly mammoths in fucking Egypt (or somewhere resembling desert/egypt) heling build the pyramids....YEAHHHHHHH HELLO!!!! A WOOLY MAMMOTH IN THE FUCKING DESERT??????? jesus h christ.
Best quote of the movie: "DON'T EAT ME!" as he sets a sabre tooth tiger free from a trap...HA HA HA fuck kill me now.

Work sucks bungwater...fuck I cant get a grip at work currently...very rough patch...ugh
I pine for a job you get to come home from and not think about until the next day...

So I decided to move.
Fuck just gunna do it and let the chips fall where they may...cook more and enjoy a bigger kitchen and stop eating out...(whenever i type that or say it ~ it sounds DIRTY to me hahaha)

Ayla is hacking up a lung in her room....should be great trying to get her to school tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

remember when....

When decisions used to be easy to make...??

I do.

I used to never have problems making even tough im like a fucking bumbling retard trying to make a choice.

I wanna move but i dont wanna pay more or move all my shit. ha!

Aunty Cathy comes back tomorrow...Wednesday we are gunna do a Costco run and then go see 10,000 BC...woohoo!

SHAWN IS BACK IN VICTORIA!!!!!!! Ohhh yay!! I miss that little fag something awful! So much I would maybe even hug him!

Work sucks balls right now....let me rephrase always sucks balls but it is currently worse than usual...mainly bc im bitter i couldnt take more time off while Cathy was here...

I drempt I made out with a guy from highschool that I recently started talking to on Facebook....and it was really fucking now when I chat with him I see him all different even though he is not really any different hahahahhaha

Facebook is the devil...but I dont care bc as my child likes to point out I have no life so why not just Facebook my life away. Thanks kid.

Ohhh gawd I hear the cat digging a littery hole the china....that means the cloud of toxic stink should be drifting over my way shortly.....Oh the glamor of litter box couture.

I am having an OCD doodle episode currently...all I did ALL weekend was go to dinner with Cynthia for thai food, then see a movie....the rest of the time i slept, ate and doodled. I doodle so hardcore that I crap up both my arms, one from holding hte pens and the other from me gripping the fucking pen lid like a gawd damn rainman wanna be.

If we move....I am gunna swear off eating out for lunch and more taco time beans for this broad....I am gunna cook more (bigger kitchen, bigger fridge) and not be such a fucking take out glutton.

Also might look into cutting back on some other stuff to lessen the monthly bills....

OMFG look at Momma Mary (and Pappa Kori)...
awwwwwwwwwww I cant wait to see that kid of theirs wearing the christian toque I sent them for the xmas church bazarre with the yellow cross stitched on it.....with the santa suit i sent. MUHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Thursday, March 06, 2008

operation armpit-drop

Cathy with her new friend------->

It has been a busy week....

Aunty Cathy is here spoiling the shit out of me...

cinnamon buns...fresh baked buns...bread sticks...pasta dinners...good in heaven.

Tomorrow she is off to Nanaimo on the train for 4 days of family fun with her sister and her sproglings...

Tonight cathy and I watched THE PAINTED VEIL....sighhhh...then ROB ROY was on tv afterwards and we both wet ourselves watching Liam Neeson bed his TV wife Jessica Lange.

We went and saw VANTAGE POINT the other night...was a decent flick...

We also went and met up with Leslie, one Cathy's sisters who grew up as a *cousin* rather than a sibling...interesting stories were told over lunch at th Tudor Pub lemme tell ya...

After that they went and hung out and I had a Dr appt....yes i finally tried again to find a Dr who didnt piss me off/who would take me as a patient.

This gal was pretty damn cool i gotta say...
So far so good...she swore...she was bullshit...and has 30 yrs experience...1st visit we got to the bottom of some shit right off the bat.
Hot Donna and Moby Dick @ the airport------>

Did any of YOU know prozac was an appetite stimulant? about counterproductivity!

While I did read all the BS on prozac I think my need to feel less homicidal was more urgent than my wish to deal with my girth....sadly the last year is just going to make the next few that much harder.


I was supposed to go see a show tonight and due to work and such couldnt go see the band I was intending on writing a story about.

I will have to catch them next time.
Cathy and Leslie ----->

I am contemplating moving into a new apartment one floor down at the back of the bldg. I went and looked at it and while it is trashed it is going to get fixed up...the view is PHENOMENAL, faces the whole city...a little bigger, way bigger kitchen area, a second is 950.00 (OUCH!)

I currently pay 800, in June will be paying 825.00 so its a 125.00 difference....I can do it...I am just weighing the pros and cons of it all...

~more privacy
~better view
~a bit more room
~bigger fridge
~no more of aylas make up mess as she will have her own bathroom in her room
~it will all be freshly painted and new carpeting
~better bedroom closets
~more breeze/open windows
~way less traffic noise and parking lot noise
~bigger room for Ayla and all her clothes that she likes to use as CARPET
~with a regular sized kitchen I think A & I will be more inspired to cook

~moving sucks even if it is just one floor down at the other end of the bldg
~cost involved in hook up fees and mail being rerouted
~if i bust my leg and go on EI or whatever the rent is pretty steep
~itll cut down on the $ available each month to make life a little more carefree
~gets sun all day BUT (this is a pro) has more windows that open so cross winds and a breeze will save the day

Is it worth it...? I dunno...I think ill wait and see what it looks like when its all cleaned up and redone and so long as they get rid of the old granny wallpaper in the bathroom I may go for it...

I am nervous about committing to more rent though....barf.

I bought zee cat some cat grass.....she chomps it and then seems to just drop it all over the floor...
looks pretty beside her dish though...the cat has been a good source of entertainment this she is a NUTTER...while she isnt being a pain in the ass she is a sweet little thing...

got a boner to see 10,000 BC when it starts this weekend...I think Cathy and I will go see it next week once she is back from Pam's...whats not to like, cute long haired guys running around in animal skins, being all caveman-ish....HELLO HOTNESS!

then we are gunna paint....i bought us little canvas frame thingies...we are goin to agree on a theme and see what the other comes up with...haha should be interesting.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Armpit Gangrene (sp?)

My arm pit hurts.

I think it has a tumor...or there is small AutoBot living inside it, waiting to come out when I am asleep.

I just saw Transformers the other night at the IMAX theatre with Dan and Donna...I am OLD b/c I couldn't keep up with the storyline or the action sequences hahahah

I actually enjoyed the 1st half of the movie though b4 it went all robot death match...

I got my Matt Good tickets...{GIANT GRIN}...I cant wait to see him general admission with a full band...I may piddle.

Ms Maddie-Cakes is doing does generally thrive well once vegetation is removed from the lung....

For the record...I am not anti-establishment/anti-doctor. If my sprog was sick or injured I WANT to be at a hospital b/c they are professionals after all...I realize medicine is a lot of opinion/trial and error, they don't call it PRACTICING medicine 4 nothing...I am mindful that we are all human beings and make mistakes etc but that gawd damn hospital infuriates me b/c its so fucking complacent and consistently inept.

Saturday morning rant over.

Last night was busyyyyyyyyyyy @ work but we got 'er done....I am looking fwd to tax season fucking the hell off though...another month and it'll taper off but gawd damn it is maddening at the moment trying to keep up with all the work.

Aunty Cathy comes TOMORROW! wooohoooo exciting! I am scared the cat is going to make her allergies insane but she assures me her allergy meds will make it all ok.

It is a little like being married having her here...I come home...the dishes are done...something is cooking...its like I have died and gone to heaven.

Seriously...when you are the only one who cooks and cleans up it is a treat to have such a FABULOUS house guest. And we get to play real life scrabble...and watch movies...and go do marriage only it doesn't suck hahahahahah hahahah (ME SO FUNNY hahaha)

I had a dream last night I was wearing wood sandals that kept slipping off. How annoying.

My uterus is gearing up for shed-mode...I am eating like a fucking starving Ethiopian and feel like utter crap.

Once upon a time my uterus was good for something...look at her...I often gaze at her in utter amazement...she is like the kid I never was but i always wanted to be. Ok I can do without the shallow/materialistic/drama queen/self absorbed part but I'm hoping she will outgrow that (hahaha)
And so far (knock on wood) she is a good kid (although she annoys the ever loving shit out of me like any roommate would)...she just pulled her shittiest grade ever (C) up to a B again in Social Studies...I am swooning with admiration...ok ill shut up now...

The crackhead weirdo down the hall is SUPPOSED to be evicted and out of the apt as of today...I hope he is bc i wanna look at the apt and decide whether or not I wanna move into it haha I already have it figured out....due to it having a fantastic city view it gets sun all day long so I'm gunna hang screens to shade the patio...and i did decide that I would probably let Ayla have the master bedroom with the bathroom attached soley bc the i don't have to clean up fucking eyeliner off every surface in the bathroom I use. Plus the walls are red and it would go great with her bedding. Only issue is there is an old lady above and I'm not sure paying more rent would be worth it - hence why I have to take a look. Currently me and the new landlady get along smashingly and shes not NEAR as anal as the last one about noise and she never hears us so it has been really nice.