Tuesday, February 28, 2006

damn short month

i need to see the princess and the warrior movie again....Arika...can i borrow it plz?

ooooo i had the funniest ppl at work today...some interesting americans fr florida telling me stories about their children turning evil in junior high hahaha a poor pregnant girl getting the run around from the canada revenue agency...then the guy a co worker 1st lost her virginity with...hahahaha that was a funny moment.

ive opted out of applying for the head office job for right now...ive made it clear ill be all over the next one but the timing is truly bad right now and im just not ok fucking over numerous ppl for something im ok waiting 4-6 mths for.
so with that decision made...i can chill a bit...and hunker down and face the impending storm of shit that is sure to kick my ass at work in the next few mths.

i have not called C. back yet...I dunno what to say...im still mad at her for being so daft...i know i shouldnt lv a lot of time inbetween the last ugly call and the new one but...i honestly dunno wtf we are gunna talk about...i am rarely lost 4 words in general but...i just dunno what to say...im crappy at being fake and PRETENDING theres no elephant in the room...

i had the goofiest dream last night...BLINK 182 (yes the band) was robbing me at work, and they were goofy and I mindfucked them with reverse psychology to save myself. hahahaha
doi! weird i keep dreaming about musicians...and not in the context in which would be most enjoyable....

i am bagged ass tired today...i was made to run my ass off (sadly not literally) for 8 hrs straight today and man o man i dont recommend that crap lol

ok wtf...matt goods doing 3 nights in vanc for this acoustic tour...and even NANIAMO for gawds sake..but no Victoria date as of yet? I blame his spinny wife...

WHO WANTS TO GO SEE AN IMAX MOVIE WITH ME?????

my eye is bloodshot


and i wasnt even out drinking....

u know you're old when....

symptoms of my impending geriatric future:

the gray hair is taking over
wrinkles (good thing im fat, it stretches em out mostly)
the length of time it takes to recover from illness
my increased apathy level
my increased stress level (condundrum hey!)
poor eyesight

blahblahblah
aging rocks.

my hair is dripping down my back making it look like i made a puddle on the back of my pants.

im having HIVE issues this week...wtf i hate that.

i have 20 mins 2 get ready 4 work...and eat my oatmeal.
SHAZAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Monday, February 27, 2006

Dreams From the Ghetto

last night in midst of a dream where I was playing a board game with Matthew Good (who was kicking my ass but im sure he was cheating) I looked in the mirror at some point (which is never a good idea in a dream or on acid)....and my top lip was covered in hair...not in the MOUSTACHE place...but the actual LIP...I kept looking at it and wondering in my dream head "Is this how I always look and Im just noticing NOW??" I even looked around at other ppl to see if it was normal for all humans to have a hairy top lip...
what a mindfuck. It was like I had an eyebrow on my lip.

Weird...
Fuck i gotta go make dinner....ooo how i detest cooking....

Sunday, February 26, 2006

bbbbbrrrrrr its nipply out! ( @ )( @ )


well i did it...
I got Ayla and I year passes for IMAX...we saw 3 today hahahahaha that paid for ONE pass...I enjoyed them all (Wild California, Horses (narrarated by Gabriel Byrne but I thought it was Ewan McGregor the whole time Duh!) and Coral Reef (narrarated by Liam Neeson)...)~

Ive decided THE BENDS would not be a pleasant condition...good thing id never fit into a wetsuit to go deep sea diving in...he he he
I now want to save the coral reefs...the rain forests and go explore the sequoia groves in california...what a dreamer.

I nearly lost a nipple today when Ayla whipped me with wit a wet towel/cloth...she will SOOOOO pay 4 that....

I am freezing and going to bed now...all the sitting on my ass watching IMAX movies wore me out. ha!

on my travels today....

fun w/o a flash!

Ayla standing with new overpriced umbrella waiting 4 the bus in the cold




Mmmmmmmm IMAX Slush Puppies

Shopping Card Kid

i think im getting old looking...this bothers me somewhat


and as u can see my dude on the left is LOSING......grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Last installment on men with no balls...


let me get this right...
i dont mean to pick on men cuz chicks have no balls either sometimes (not literally speaking of course but in theory)...I think women and men are equally fucked...its a human quality...I just happen to only date men so they infuriate me more.

Kirk...there are good men out there...its just finding the right one for you (well, me, not u, you like girls n boobies and such)......
You did raise a good point about repeating patterns...I thought id broken that pattern by going out with a normal (so to speak) guy with a good job and a family and a brain....fuck that was a waste of time, theyre no better then the weirdos im generally drawn to and appreciate so....I dunno...shit all works out in the end...least no one stabbed me....im thankful!

I think we will go to an imax movie today...I see that u can get a years pass to unlimited imax movies for 40.00 ea....thats 80.00 for Ayla and I....if we saw 4-5 in the year it paid for itself...and i think we would go see ALL of them that come out even if we thought they were gay if we had a pass...I think i may get us the passes.

im back down to one kid in the house...
she ripped her molar our last night...1st molar that fell out in 1 day! she woke up with a loose molar and it was removeable the same day...GROOVY!
I should sell it on ebay.

to have balls or not have balls...that is the question!






















Saturday, February 25, 2006

here I sit....



on a sat. night...the girls are playing a kid trivia game and im laughing bc its the only trivia game where i know most of the answers lol

as i predicted fucktard u know who didnt let his little sprog come over...quite disappointing. I wont ask again and I decided against calling him up and telling him he was a ball-less twat...i guess Im just too indifferent about him personally to bother.
its just a drag cuz his sprog is a lovely girl and really needs a *female* pal...fuckin jerk.
which brings me to my current mental debate that everyone sucks...b/c fucktard started off as someone I thought had some integrity but he certainly doesnt seem to have any now.
I am a pissy judge of character...always have been.

i have tomorrow off...id like to do SOMETHING...what im not sure.

colin's at work *pout*...bruce m has gone out on the town....maureens at the east coast music awards making out with fiddlers i bet...cousin kelly has a sick sprog...shawn is making out with phil i bet (drool)...

on a positive note i got an email from Ryan McMahon today and he was saying hes working hard on getting a date in Vic for mid/late April...i am soooooooo fucking going to see him....its been forever....over a damn year...thats just not right.
the cd release is march 18th but im fairly sure i am working and a trip to vancouver is likely not an option.

from the BBC website...no shit....


Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

Friday, February 24, 2006

friday night


shawn and phil came over...omg they are so cute together...i was hoping theyd start making out at the table but no such luck...dammit...
sushi was devoured as was the sake...inarizushi...nigiri and fancy jen miso soup...

ayla has a friend sleeping over tonight and tomorrow...
doesnt look like chloes coming over...ive heard nothing so i would assume don said no.
this makes me want to call him bad bad names but...whatever...

bruce m is not home...i bet hes getting laid again the dirty dog.

i am not getting laid...and do u know why? bc i have no bedroom and i hang out with gay men.
hahah hahah hahaha
ok theres other reasons too but i dont feel like getting into all that. haha

had fun with kirks blog tonight as u can see here.
boobies everywhere!

happy *late* b'day to my favorite fireman

Sorry! I had no internet last night or I would have done this on time...
HAPPY BARFDAY!!!!! you are 29 now right? You hot little mofo!

Ok turns out my internet issues are my own fault. he he he My old instructors would be proud.
I was stealing cable 4 the kids bedroom and it appears to have been messing up my connection.
Im going to hell 4 sure now...
See u all there.


Today is sushi day...which also means I have to clean the house.

Ayla left for school this am having a massive hissy fit...apparently after being laundered her lulugayasslemon pants had *white* stuff on them...which is odd bc I use blue liquid laundry soap...a lint roller didnt save the day...so she continued on being a spazz until she changed into her jeans that are too tight 4 her and very uncomfortable. If i survive the teen years it will only be by some weird ass miracle.


LOOK! it snowed yesterday on my street! -->

Im listening to some new Guns n Roses...I dunno why Axl insists on calling it GnR cuz GnR are done...the time has passed...let go sir...be solo and get rid of those corn rows...
The IRS song is ok but...I dunno...I like old GnR but I wont be out buying this one. Sorry Axl, I know you're crushed.
I think Axl should release a piano album...just him all acoustic and piano-y...yeah...id buy that...

I called my sister last night...she is now an expert in the realm of all things that are CHICKEN related...she works with chickens and is full of all sorts of useless chicken trivia that I find exceptionally interesting:

- a chickens cycle is 27 hrs as opposed to our 28 day cycle

-an egg is actually a chickens period

-the little stringy thing we all assume is an umbilical cord is actually just a *fastener* to keep the yolk in place in the egg

-and this is athe grand poobah of all chicken trivia...if u put a nickle up a chickens hooch it'll grow a shell over it and lay the nickle. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thats fucking awesome.

My sister rules. Kim, im sending u one of my prized possessions to have for your own: CLICK HERE

You know what commercial I am loving right now? the DQ (or KFC i dunno) Popcorn Shrimp one with the daddy shrimp gorging on popcorn and then his wife telling him its SHRIMP and then asks where the kids are...HAHAH HAHAH HAHAHA HAH AH HAH AH oooo gawd I howl! Someone find that online would ya....

**happy birthday grandad** xo

Thursday, February 23, 2006

me me me me me

so yeah today I went walking downtown to p/u some sushi goodies cuz tomorrow im making a sushi fest 4 Shawn n Phil...so im walking along rocking out to Rage Against the Machine and hacking up lung butter (all the fresh air freaked my lungs out) and who do I see??
CELESTE the EVIL OLD BABYSITTER...toting a new kid, and the other one following her (I will say he looked really cute the poor dear)...I didnt say anything to her b/c I think shes a tard but...it was nice to see the wee one was still okay.
Then the sprog and I went for poutine (cuz we are rich and im not quite fat enough yet) and had BONGER wars....
I am losing the chia head war gawd bloody dammit! arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg (see pictures, mines on top, my grass is longer but not as thick) GROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Survivior was entertaining (yes im a nerd)

I got me some plans for spring break already...Colin and I are going to hit Evolution & be freaks.
I havent been out in ages so I am pumped...


I was talking to a girl at work about a suite she rents from her mom...shes moving soon and I think I got dibs on it for April unless her retarded sister scoops it...2 bedrooms...decent price...close to work...
FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD MAKE THIS HAPPEN...cross yer fingers people...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

WHY ARE HUMANS SO FUCKING STUPID?

why gawd why? why do ppl think there is only one person on earth 4 them? why do ppl think that just bc someone sez theyre going to *get help* that they deserve 4th and 5th chances....
some of u know who im talking about...
I just hung up on someone i usually am quite rational with bc i am so fucking fed up with the shitty choices she keeps making....theyre hers to make...yes...and i wont stop being her friend or abandon her but i have absolutely no use for this victimish shit, of setting yourself up 4 more failure and heartache...and giving money I dont have to help someone make a move/change in life only for them to pedal the bike fucking backwards in the end.
Fuck it.
Its time to dettach.

Now im fucking irritated out of my mind...good thing my BONGERS arrived today....thats right BONGERS with an S! I got 2! So not I can double beat myself into a coma later...woot woot!
Once my camera batteries are charged ill post pics of me beating various things...*snicker*

I took a chia head thingy into work today too....to improve morale....so far one person thought it was a potato...hahahha it does kinda look like a potato...
Im off for 2 days now so hopefully they wont forget to dribble water on it.

Mmmmmm

options....cornflakes...oatmeal or a fruit smoothie for breakfast....oooh ooh ooh or toast....??
CAST YOUR VOTE NOW!!!!! just kidding.
I will eat cornflakes b/c its the easiest.

I watched Law & Order 3x yesterday....wtf is that about? I have a crush on all the leading men...im like some sort of cop/detective groupie. *Ughhhh*
Then the sprog and I watched an old Fear Factor just so we could see someone smash their face trying to jump onto a moving boat...is that sadistic of us or are we just easily entertained by other ppls misfortune?
Nothing makes me laugh like seeing a person wipe out....

I have been fairly unattached to the comp. as of late...hence the tv watching/book reading...I know I know you are all jealous of my riveting lifestyle after work, i know...im trying to incorporate more walking into it but...gawd damn it that means I gotta go outside in public.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

It's after 10 pm

I can no longer hope to make this post profound or terribly witty as its past my bedtime and im sleepy.

New pet peeve: at work when ppl PUSH their papers in through the diptray and KEEP pushing it until it knocks other papers and pens on the floor as they WATCH it happen yet dont STOP pushing their paper in too far. Fucking retards.

My what if ex Anthony is gunna be a DAD!!!! In August! In Australia! Congrats to him and Rebecca...this is fabulous news. I have been wanting him to be a dad for quite some time so I look fwd to all his horror stories.

I spent a few days with no reliable internet connection....its all fixed now though and thank gawd bc I was having mail withdrawals.
One more day of work and then 2 glorious days off...

I am going to brutally force myself to go to the laundrymat (that looks like its spelled really WRONG)
this week with 2 giant comforters I have had in bags for nearly 2.5 years.
My level of laundry procrastination is embarrassing.

Today I was at my favorite thrift store looking for books, just found one, about Dublin Ireland...figured id get it since ONE DAY im going there and will need to read up on cool places to check out.
There were a lot of weirdos in the thrift store today...one little retard guy was muttering to himself and cursing under his breath...one guy screamed for the clerk to go fuck herself bc he was SURE she stole his ratty ol napsack hahahahaha

Looks like im SOL 4 that apt I was pining over...theres a waiting list.
But I have decided to look around and if it turns out I dont give 30 days notice then thats ok cuz id rather lose my dam. dep. then give notice tand then not find a place. Thats a plan I think...

speaking of STUPID...

Quote of Da Day

Men weren't really the enemy - they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.

--Betty Friedan, Feminist, author

hahahah hahahah hahhaah hahhahaha hahahahah hahahahahahha (thanks Deanna)

heh heh heh (thanks Kellee)


WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE:

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" He said, "No"

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, adopted lots of pets, drank wine, always had a clean house, never had to cook, and farted whenever she wanted.

The End.