Monday, December 04, 2006

I think Guy gave me the bird flu


i didnt do shit all today really...battled a headache...buffy came over and we hit the mall for a short while...i came back home and fell asleep on the couch.
ive pretty much just watched tv all day.
i rule.
still cant tell if im getting sick or wtf is going on....
ayla on the other hand is sick and losing her voice...i cant tell u how eager i am 4 that to happen MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA i hope she doesnt get TOO sick but its not looking good so far.

on our cruising for hookers the other night we (me, guy & donna) got to talking about the homeless and ppl on welfare...and the straight up fact that some ppl - for whatever reason - are just NOT it social issues, addiction issues or just that they are that way...fuck if u buy into the ol saying that *you can do anything if u really work at it* - i dont buy that...i think in a perfect case scenario that may be true but there are PLENTY of things i will never be no matter how hard i try...i will never be a sports illustrated swimsuit model...or a scientist...or a doctor...or an abused wife.
i just know this about has nothing to do with self esteem, its just reality.

personally, i dont get really uptight about tax dollars being spent on welfare, i think for the most part the ppl on welfare need it...i think a lot of them lack social skills/skills in general...or dont possess the self esteem needed to move past it...
I spent 6 yrs on welfare - by choice - when i got pregnant...left a good job in the city...moved home and when my EI ran out i was on the dole....this was back in the day when they gave you until your child was in school fulltime - then you had to be looking for work...
the stigma of being on welfare is a weight that i can not describe...even when you choose it and dont just end up there.
it turns into a mindfuck...i can assure you the gov't does NOTHING to aid in the transition from welfare to work as as single was actually difficult to get OFF welfare unless u immediately made above what they determined you needed to live off of.
factor daycare into it...factor povery...factor social problems...and on and is no easy task...i was very lucky to have found a job close to home and a boss who was nice enough to accomodate me and let me work 9am - 2 pm everyday - i could drop Ayla off at school and pick her up daycare required....and she paid me a salary that got me off welfare 100%.
this is NOT common.
i got to be a mom to my kid (this was back when she was really nice and sweet and i still liked her haha) for 6 yrs and as a working mom NOW i can assure you no matter what the consequences were to my own psyche being on welfare all that time i was a better mom and my kid had a great me thats worth it.

so i have a bit of a bleeding heart liberal attitude about ppl on welfare...yeah some abuse it...but im far more insulted by the gov't waste...the 1000.00 office chairs they sit on...the 1st class flights...their ungodly pensions i dont think they deserve....we wont get into their me that is more disgusting than an able bodied male collectiong 500.00 a month.

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