I am brain dead...but that is not news is it?
Last night Guy & Donna were in town so we went and had dinner....then stopped in at Big Bad John's (gawd help me) for a drink....then went to the Fox to see some stripper action...we always end up seeing strippers when they come to town...Guys favorite was the black hottie girl with the muscular ass...I didn't have a favorite...well that's not true....my favorite was the guy who was so drunk up front who kept falling and spilling his beer on the front of his shirt.
Guy is still on the mend....but he was walking and talking and that was a good sight!
Donna hugged me twice. Jesus H. Damn huggy ppl!
Today I had grand intentions to do a lot of shit around here but NAPPING won...what an old friggin lady I'm turning into.
Henry Rollins is coming to Vancouver Is. in March...FUCKKKKKKKKKKK If ida known that I sure wouldn't have made the Vancouver show Oct 30...
I don't think I'm gunna go, having JUST seen him and all...but I will see when it gets closer...good thing about him is no matter where u sit spoken work is good so even crap tix would be OK.
I had an epiphany the other day...Christmas is a disease....a fucking disease. It starts off well enough, in theory its OK but once the full effects take over you are a sick motherfucker. I guess when u feel already overwhelmed in life something like Xmas is just another bloody inconvenience...
I do look fwd to getting more laid back as an old spinster...letting shit roll off my back more easily etc.
With the recent break up of some friends I am more inspired than ever to carry on avoiding all emotional relationships...what a gawd damn mind fuck.
Today as I napped the day away I was awake at one point and realized how fucked I am....and I didn't care...Self Acceptance...or Delusion? I dunno but it was somewhat freeing...realizing you are not conventional, typical or special all at the same time...reminded me of that quote in fight club about how we are the all-singing all-dancing crap of the world...I love that...we are all the same decaying matter at the end of the day...and what we do before the decay is called life...my pre-decay life is rather interesting at times so I am not complaining...it is what it is...I'm a coaster...I coast...it is my way...which is why I don't foresee any grand changes in store for me...
which isn't necessarily bad or good...it just IS.
I think happiness is fleeting and should not ever be expected...I think we have this attitude that we are entitled to be happy...no matter the cost...I can not stand that ENTITLEMENT thing...it seems to be everywhere...our youth are rotting from it...despite our best efforts...
and who am I to save the universe...I can't even stop myself from gorging on cookie dough when I'm premenstrual? HA HA HA Ooooo the beauty of powerlessness. hahahaha Mmmmm now I want cookie dough.
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