pass the valium

did a late night trip to the vet last night...
why do they have to be such rapists?
anyway...i was glad 4 the peace of mind.

in case u didn't know...i have not had good luck with cats in my life so im a little paranoid about kitty currently.
she hadn't eaten or anything all day yesterday and her belly got hard and she looked just wrecked in spirit so...in we went...
he said she seems a little stiff and sore but fine otherwise...said she wasn't dehydrated but i was given a syringe to feed her wet food by force if necessary...

a little history here...when i was 10 my brother and i got kittens...mine was a tabby...his was a ginger. I cant 4 the life of me remember their names but they were fun and sweet...i remember my step dad showing me how to rub their noses in their shit if they crapped under the basement stairs - i was HORRIFIED and begged them both to always go outside!!!!!
anyhow...one day im in my room rocking out to my pat benatar record *in the heat of the night* and i look outside and my step dads just got home with a truck, pulling a trailer of hay or some such shit...i have no idea why bc he owned a friggin gas station....maybe it wasn't his hay/truck i dunno anyhow...it looked like someone dropped their jacket in the middle of the road...only it wasn't a jacket it was MY DEAD CAT...but at dusk i couldn't tell....
la la la time goes on that evening...then i think my mom comes in and tells me the cat jumped off the trailer of hay right into a friggin car that was passing...and its dead.

INSERT TRAUMA HERE

little ginger kitty ran away from home (SO THEY TOLD US) shortly after.

no kitty til MILO....
Milo the One Eyed Wonder was funny and a total retard...he chewed a string of glass xmas lights WHILE plugged in ONE AT A TIME (crunch crunch zap zap crunch) and did other insane shit on a daily basis...drove me insane but after he lost an eye and all that I was rather fond of his weirdness...
then he got sick...i don't think we had him a frigging year....he stopped eating...his health deteriorated...I spent the last month of his life trying to syringe feed him 3-5x a day in order to reverse the effects of starvation (did u no cats have a tendency to go anorexic? its true)...and this is no EASY feat...as weak as he was getting he would still managed to shred the mother fucking shit out of u as u one handedly tried to hold him and use the other hand to operate the syringe full of foul smelling wet, warm food..I found dried, crusted cat food in places around my house that amazed me...
anyway...this i can say was one of the worst months of my life...one of them...i harbored such guilt and pity for this damn cat that when i was at work its all i thought about and when i was at home it was a shit show trying to get the cat to eat.
eventually it was clearly not working...he threw up anything i did manage to get him to eat... and he was going blind and falling over so Ayla and i took him to the vet and had him put down...this of course was after about 600.00 in vet bills to try and figure out what was wrong with him...without a 500.00 panel of blood work they couldn't tell us anything...anyway it was eventually inevitable so...we did the deed...and i can assure u the 2 of use were wrecked for a long time afterwards...

and i no this sounds gay cuz its just a cat but...whatever...fuck off.

so yeah needless to say im a little skittish in the kitty dept...i am sickingly fond of this kitty so i don't want any repeats....ill pay 120.00 4 a vet to tell me shes got a fever but is otherwise ok for now.
she is eating a little more today already and looks less shell-shocked so this is good!

today im hanging with the cat and cleaning up...Arika will be by later for bbq burgers...and she can take her MAGIC PAWS painting home...ohhh u poor bastards, blessed with weird ass jen art MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

I also have to submit some writing in to that magazine today...so I gotta finish that up lickity split so IM GOING NOW!!!!!