prozac chowder soup

Why must he emit such beauty? -->

I have got to go to costco and buy a VAT of evening primrose oil capsules....my head is all over the fucking map...it irritates the shit outta me as im generally fairly together even if im in a piss poor state of mine but this laughing one minute and bawling my head off the next is just fucking stupid.

I think the impending DATE that is approaching may not be helping either...I really miss my brother...I cant believe next month it will be 8 yrs he is gone. I am amazed by my own non belief of this considering its been THE worse thing to ever happen in my little sphere of world. I recently met one his and Kim's friends they grew up with, Loren, and I think its tweaked me out. I look at Loren, who I have heard about forever and feel like I know and I cant help think that Glenn would have been a grown up now...full fledged...he'd be 32...he could have been married or making babies...he would still be calling me names for getting 3rd row floor Tool tickets last year....it is all so fucking depressing. (DO NOT COMMENT IN THE COMMENTS PLZ, I don't need a pat on the back and a hey hey I just need to blurt)

Hows that for 6 am?

I am hungry...need to buy some stuff to make smoothies out of all this gross yogurt in the fridge. No more welfare yogurt purchases....I've sworn to Ayla, no more cheap yogurt haha

This book im reading is a trip: THE BOOK
im just a little way into it but it already makes me stop and go Hmmmmmmmmmmm

I am reading 3 friggin books right now....decided to tackle the DANCE OF ANGER book again (all male readers just cringed right then)...the feminist part of it is a little redundant, I do not have a problem EXPRESSING anger b/c i think i should be a delicate flower for all men to devour (haha) quite the opposite - I just need to be more mindful of where its coming from so as not to rip the nards off certain ppl in my path (I'M SORRY, you know who you are haha)...I am a chronically pissed off person...how do you morph that shit into something productive? That is the question. We could get into where it stems from but i don't have all day here hahaha

My trainer person yesterday spoke to me yesterday like I was a dumb child and I wanted to punch her in the face. I have trained a shit load of ppl and I do not expect anyone who was told something 2 months previous ONCE to remember how to do it or really even what its for. So I am gunna spend ALL my spare time reading manuals at work (even though they are really poorly set up and presented) and the policy book...just to spite the universe. And that stupid twat that started with me...gawd i wanna whack her with a mallet too...just cuz. I hate everyone, except old man Dan beside me, he is the only smart person in that joint. We talk about books, we is smrt!