jesus humping christ

The other day i was making dinner and as I always do if I am eating corn with dinner, I opened the can and ate a spoonful cold...as I did that I coughed or something and wound up inhaling CORN up into my nasal cavity...MOST UNPLEASANT I can assure u.... Corn is a lot bigger than u think when it is jammed up there...it felt bad....so I blew my nose for 10 mins to get it all out and THAT was weird as hell too...seeing corn in your kleenex. Nothing so exciting happened today. I didn't eat any corn.
I woke up feeling not as sick as I rightly should have...what is going on with these virus's these days...generally when I would get a cold in the past it was like clockwork...a few days of dread leading up to the cold setting in, you peak then spend 3 days with it on its way out....when yer in PEAK u wanna die but then after yer so happy its over its no big deal being sick at all b/c its better than the PEAK PERIOD.
Well...today I should be a day prior to PEAK and I'm no where near it...which means this is gunna drag on...which isnt surprising b/c it took me well over a month to get this cold...u know that feeling of fighting off a cold?? Yeah over a month I did that...damn germs. Government germs.

I am clearly a SUCKER....I show up at work sick Friday bc I know its a busy day and ppl look at me like im INSANE...ppl who werent even sick called in sick....wtf?
I guess I will get into the groove of being a typical gov't deadbeat in time.
REQUEST: writing for Gonzo Magazine CLICK HERE requires ideas so if any of u read anything about canadian entertainers that is of some interest plz send me the links so I can read fuel my mind and conjure up some column blatherings.

Got my first Facebook Warning email for posting this picture in a group...ha ha ha
I have to say I was a little surprised b/c I have seen more offensive stuff on FB than that...I mean u cant even see PENIS in this picture...some facebook groups have porn pictures with chicks jamming their digits in their cooch for shits sake...

I watched FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL recently and laughed at the PENIS in that movie....if u shoose the unrated version of the movie on the dvd it shows full on penis and made me howl...cuz u know...penis is funny.
I was sad that Russell Brand's character was so editted...the gag reels in the special features have the funniest sceens, the lamp breaking scenes etc...all cut from the film....FOR SHAME!

Wow BC for the 5th year in a row has the highest child poverty rate in Canada.....Ohh hello LOSER PROVINCE....yes, billions get dumped into the gawd awful olympics rather than trying to remedy a problem that is HARDLY new or unknown.
I shake my head. Fuck you gordon campbell and your olympic hard on.