Ppl grow a lot of fennel around here (or it grows itself)...the next walk I go on at night im taking giant scissors and am planning to RAPE this one particular bush of it I have to walk past 2 times a day that is overgrowing the sidewalk so bad that I can't bare it any longer. The smell of cutting it will likely kill me (I dry heave just thinking about it) but whatever.
I walked myself dead as a mule last night...I am stiff and brokenish this morning but it's all good. I needed to exorcise with some exercise....plus its harder to cry when u are huffing and puffing and trying hard to not fall down bc u are walking so fast...cannot WAIT for this near 3 month low spell to pick itself the fuck up and move on. I think I have got to be good for the year now. Oh the conflict...my well adjusted humorous facade vs the true mess that is my head...when will you meld and just "be"?
But whatever - Matt Good's coming! I soooo soooooo sooooooo needed to hear that news...my life seems void of fun right now...everything so dire...Ayla, work, boys aren't even fun right now and I can assure you the hunt for boys is less than fun ahahahahahahaaaaa My gawd my Saturday date attempt was HORRIFIC. I could not escape fast enough. I spent almost 1.5 hrs listening to him talk AT me. I tuned out for most of it and could bc I knew he was never going to ask me a question so I could keep nodding and daydreaming about the chronic state of my spinsterhood - WHICH WAS LOOKING VERY APPEALING LET ME TELL U! lol
Being single is looking not so bad again. My singleness tends to be of an extended nature which I am hoping to avoid b/c lets face it....I am not getting any younger...I turn 39 shortly and have yet to forge any great relationship milestones for myself as of yet...this is not typical by this age...and yes I know, I am not typical, whatever. It does bother me, like I have to prove im capable of it or something...mainly b/c I am not sure I am.
No comments:
Post a Comment