turtle goodness

Oct 15 2009

Remember crazy girl whose pants fell down in front of me on my birthday walk to work? I see her nearly every day now (gawd!) and she is desperately trying to make eye contact with me and I will not do it. I can peripherally see her staring at me every time we pass each other...I dunno if she is trying to throw me the stink eye or if she just thinks we are intimate now that I have pretty much seen her whole bush. Either way I am NOT making it easy for her...I will defy the eye contact until she either A) swings a punch at me, which will then be funny b/c I think I could easily pummel her without needing to make eye contact B) speaks to me directly or C) pulls out a jailhouse shiv and threatens to puncture my 1st layer of blubber with it...then I would make eye contact, put on my fuck you face and go from there.

I am eating salty nuts right now. It’s true.

I am frighteningly excited to have a bullet hole in my head Oct 30 (Zak, put your gun & smile away, I am not being literal)...truth be known I am excited to be around dancing gore girls with pasties on and blood smeared all over them...Bloody Betty meet Jen Conklin, she likes your fake bloody nudie-gore. http://www.bloodybetty.com/ I will go watch boobies any day of the week even if they are not as large as I prefer.

I am eating half a peanut butter sandwich. Jealous? It is fun when I take a bite and the phone rings.

I have bad hair today for my loser cruiser bus pass photo today at 3 pm...Rude. It’s like high school...always had bad hair (mullet!) or some freakishly large zit on picture day...never failed. It was like some universal conspiracy to make my life hell b/c in high school that did constitute hell for a girl. That and ripping the crotch out of your pants repeatedly. I cannot count how many times this happened to me as a teenager...jumping fences - RIP! - , getting into vehicles – RIP! -, climbing stuff – RIP! – Think my pants were too tight?

Gawd damn the turtle killers! Those 6 packs plastic rings are the devil. In the bathrooms stalls each week here at work the GREEN TEAM puts up info sheets you can read while you pee. I quite enjoy them even if they are at times really over the top and retarded (ie: using old chip bags to cut up and make xmas bows etc) – anyway...the one I read today about those damn plastic rings getting stuck around a turtles shell...the turtle and its shell keeps growing around the ring so the friggin thing looks mangled and deformed!!!!!!! SICK! Ohhhhh look at this 2 headed turtle! I need one. Not to eat...but as a pet please. Always attracted to the freaks...never fails.