Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I am itchy. I am all paranoid I am getting shingles like my land lady has...I am being an alarmist of course but gawd dammit....2 days I have been itchy. Got out my ol’ Home Surgery Kit last night and finally managed to yank the last of the so-called dissolving stitches out of my incisions...dissolving...pffft. The pieces popping out of the incisions were not dissolving and hindering healing so I got in there and have decided I should be a doctor now...Doctor Jen – Medicine Woman. I want my own TV show too...and my own hot husband who wears animal leather and native beads. Yeah that’s what I want...anyway back to my hypochondriac-ness...I am not stressed at all really...but I am run down and such so the shingles diagnosis isn’t totally out to lunch...though I am being a dramatic tit for certain.

OMFG I finally have AC at work. It’s like a gawd damn miracle. It’s like Jesus has finally shown himself to me finally after all these years and I can call myself a BELIEVER. OK not really. Jesus did not get me this AC – my boss did....so really she is the new Jesus Gawd Damn Christ in my eyes! The thing has a timer...so I set it for 5 am to run so when we arrive in the AM its cool and fucking awesome in here...my mother would LOVE IT! My poor mother and her hate for hotness is intense as well so I can’t help but feel bad she works for a cheap asshole who will never get AC for the pub. The AC unit looks like R2D2 and is quite the welfare looking thing but I love love love it and want to hump it. I do not even care that it is as loud as an airplane engine and I have to pop an earplug in my left ear b4 I answer the phone. I LOVE YOU AIR CONDITIONER! (such a guilty pleasure)

After reading my latest book (CLICK HERE) I am even more convinced out society is doomed...and though it embarrasses me to say so I am glad I am 40 and will be long dead b4 everything REALLY starts to go downhill...mock me all u like but our civilization is on the same path the Mayans, Incas, Sumerians and Easter Islanders were on and where are they now? Yeah that’s right - fallen – we live in an unsustainable society and the world cannot go on forever putting up with our blatant disrespect and stupid greed...we rape the land, the sea and pollute the air and oceans with crap...we over farm, we fuck with our food, we eat garbage and produce mass amounts of shit no one really needs and our population is RIDICULOUS. All the plastic we make will outlast us all...for this I am certain. How nice that in a few million years when we perhaps evolve again or aliens find our planet they will find fossils of plastic dildos and disposable razors. Wow – what a legacy! (EYE ROLL) This book has seriously opened my eyes to the reality we all face. Most of us choose to ignore it, ignorance is bliss after all...I wish I was able to just go on my merry way and not be tortured by what is to come but...that is not the case. That feeling of helplessness to do anything about it on a grand scale is incredibly frustrating. I recycle, reuse, limit purchasing crap, avoid promoting the use of plastics, I bus or walk, consider where something was made or grown prior to purchasing it, etc. Meanwhile what really makes the world go round is $$$. Big business and commerce run the world and big business has no conscience, it is all about the almighty dollar. Most shitty things on earth are all about $$$. War/oil, poverty, cancer...yes cancer...many cancers are due to toxins and pollutants spewed out by govt’s and companies to make $$$ also I am not UNCONVINCED that cancer cures and research is hindered greatly by the fact that pharmaceutical co’s don’t really want a cure for cancer...their bread and butter has got to be cancer treatments right now with so many ppl diagnosed...fuckers.

Laugh all you like...I am not a conspiracy theorist in the slightest.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REGAN KEIL!
You gawd damn fishetarian MFer!

Ayla is in Powell River currently. I have quite enjoyed my time alone the last week...my house is so easy to keep clean...omg. I spent about 4 hours on her room/bathroom when she left and it looks bloody fabulous. My mom will be here on Saturday so I couldn’t very well let her enter Ayla’s room how it was...my gawd the child is a top notch slob. Did you read that Ayla...!!!!!!? Gawd I hope it is not a permanent affliction. I still have another week of kidlessness. Lisa & I will drive up and fetch her from the ferry Sept 3. Road trip style. Gawd I wish I was a better road tripper. I am in mega hermit mode currently...I don’t like being anywhere but home in my jammies...I cannot wait for fall...the gray cool days...COME ON!

Oh so sad to hear about Jack Layton's passing...what a grand loss for Canada and his family/friends...I am happy to see him getting the attention he deserves and touched by how many people are recognizing his contributions to this country...farewell moustache....

9 comments:

Maggie said...

haha mom told me yesterday when she went to pick ayla up at my house, the cupboards were all open and everything. lol.

kelly said...

yes you are. you are destined to be like the Mel Gibson character in the movie Conspiracy Theory.

~Jen~ said...

Maggie - hahahahaha yes Ayla the hurricane strikes again!

Kelly - I so AM not...though he was pretty smart.

kelly said...

you so are and you know what else?

since you work for the government when you had your surgery they implanted a device inside you. It not only tracks your location at any time but they can also send messages to you, to make you do and think things.

~Jen~ said...

no comment.

kelly said...

aha....you're feeling around your incision site to see if you can feel it!
you know it's there.

~Jen~ said...

it's like you truly hate me sometimes....::SOB!!::

kelly said...

not at all. just concerned for your well being.

I want you to be aware that when it feels like little electronic bugs are crawling through your insides that you can blame "big brother" and maybe we should find a surgeon that will take them out quietly for cash.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Enjoy the clean house, the AC, and ignoring Kelly.