Dismal failure....it is the only way to describe it.
I should have put the kibosh on the whole b’day thing the moment she looked uninterested and too tired to give a shit...sadly my own drive to do what I think is expected of me – which often is completely one sided and deluded – is often a big fat waste of time. Oh well...such is life a week prior to menstruation when I am not anywhere near rational or emotional stable enough to deal with barbed remarks and apathy.
In fact I am in such a mood I am not even going to type anymore and turn this into a big fucking self-hate fest. Gunna take a little internet break I think...see if I can force my lard ass out walking again until i can see a little positivity creep back into my head.