|don't be fooled by how relaxed she appears|
Miss Donna is safe at her home, snuggling in with Aunty Shirley....man...remind me to never break a bone (of my own that is) or require a stay at the hospital...wtf is this 4 ppl to 1 room shit...and CO-ED? SERIOUSLY?! When I am at my fucking worse I do not want some creepy old dude in my general vicinity...and I am pretty sure he doesn't want me around him either...it would be bad enough with 4 females...but mixed genders...fuck that. I am so not on board with that...listening to a 3874783 yr old man moaning and crying that he is dieing for 3 days made it pretty clear to me that he did not belong in that room...he certainly required more care than he was getting and a little fucking dignity would have been nice too...we won't even discuss the bed-shitter in the room...I am still trying to rid myself of the odorous memories of the week.
I felt a little torn leaving Miss Donna last night...I felt like it was my duty to ensure she survives this busted ankle nightmare...but lucky 4 her her futon is too low to the ground and I can't sit or sleep on it comfortably lol I might zip out there Monday if I can for a visit...see how the 2 of em are getting on....hopefully no ones killed anyone by then.
Man - messed up dream last night...family wedding beat downs and then discovering I was pregnant...I woke up in a gawd damn panic and was relieved beyond words the whole thing was not actually happening...I thought about it throughout the day...41 and pregnant...JFC how horrific...eggs are old and surely more corrupt that usual...retard baby for sure...oh wait...never mind I wouldn't care b/c I would be giving it to Jerri to mother...I am so done. I am one giant CONFLICTION.. - yeah I made that word up...wrapping your head around being an 'empty nester' is a mindfuck and a half...part of me pines to be alone and less wrapped up in the sprog's needs, wants and drama...and part of me mourns for all that is soon to be gone...despite so much of it being one struggle after another in some capacity or another their was a ton of good stuff in there...heartwarming to go with all the heartbreaking...I am sure sprog will only focus on the bad shit until she is 40...she will have nice stories for her therapist. She will probably call and ask me to pay half like I get called now to pay for yoga, etc. ha....ha...ha.
I am spending tomorrow at home...tiddling my house...cleaning...turfing...lounging...Sunday it is finally WALKING DEAD DAY!!!! JFC...if I didn't love that show so much I'd cut the channel off and say FUCK YOU AMC FOR MAKING US ALL WAIT 2 MONTHS FOR A NEW EPISODE...this mid-season break shit can suck a dong. Erin n Amanda will likely come over for the grand affair...Monday I have an interview/meeting re: my volunteering @ the Transition House here in town...I hope I can get this gig & get in there and do the training...my brain requires something new...
I just re-read SHE'S COME UNDONE for the 1st time in 15ish years...jfc...I love that book...Dolores Price and I have a lot in common...more on that later. I have hiccups real bad right now.....fugg.