Monday, June 11, 2012


Today was a weird day...felt weird all day...and so tired...good lord I used a kleenex box as a pillow on my desk today for a 15 second nap...the fear of being discovered asleep at my desk foils any and all chance of me getting a nap in at work...which is a good thing.

I am really sad about Gleniffer Lake...and the Red Deer River...the oil spill there - while small by industry standards - is a gawd damn mess...the premiers comment about it being the cost of doing business (more of less) is par for the course I guess...(dick)
When my brother died we drove from the Calgary airport up to Rocky Mountain House and along the way - I was in the back seat trying to astrally project myself somewhere else...running thoughts through my head about this being some cruel hoax and once we got to RMH it would all be over...but I knew it wouldn't be...he wouldn't be standing there with a big goofy grin and scream "HAHA! I GOT YOU!" - Don't I wish...anyhow...while in the back seat wishing I was in a drug induced coma I happened to look up as we drove by the sign for Gleniffer Lake...I lived most of my childhood in Alberta and had somehow managed to never hear about this lake or see a road sign (or notice) until that moment when my brother Glenn was dead in Rocky Mountain House and I was on my way to face the dreaded permanency of it. The Gleniffer Lake sign seemed like a little elbow from the great beyond...a poke in the ribs...something...I don't know what but at that moment it seemed profound and heartbreaking. It was the 1st in an endless string of daily reminds about my lost little hearing about this lake being polluted by yet another pipeline disaster...well....fuck -fuck fuck fuck is all I have to say on that...

It is grey and cool out...all day at work I sat in that hot box dieing a slow death...that office is a gawd damn soul draining piece of shit...I am trying to put off the use of the A/C's until absolutely necessary but jfc...sitting in that dead hot air completely turns me into a corpse on autopilot. IT ISN'T EVEN HOT OUT YET FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD. I hate that office so next job will be in an A/C'd building...just like my next apt will have a pool. Not kidding.

I was thinking how disappointing it is going to be if Chris - who I was blathering about a few posts ago - turns out to be a boring, middle aged jerk..arrogant or annoying.............................BUZZ KILL. It has happened before....a certain someone who was my be all end all all through Jr and Sr High...and into my early 20's...who at the time was the coolest, hottest, most mysterious, dangerous, deep guy in all the universe...turned up on Facebook last year only to end up being the most fucking boring, one dimensional, small town hickster of all time. Tragic loss...hard to be perceived as cool, hot, mysterious, deep etc when there is rent to pay and you can't spell to save your gawd damn life. I cannot articulate the boner killer that is bad spelling and poor makes me dead from the waist down.What do I know...there is a Hall & Oats song playing on my computer right now...ohhh wait...I have been redeemed by Robert Plant's "In the Mood"...

UPDATE: He is not boring and lame at all...and even had some funny stories to share about our 24 hour make out friendship that I forgot about hahaha

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