i am on high alert irritate mode today...i was out with shawn today and damn near ripped his lips off 4 daring to even consider parking 14 blocks from where we were going to save a dollar on parking....poor guy....
someone talk me out of wanting a boyfriend please.....really...it is a bad idea...i know it is...which makes me wonder why that matters to me since i am so attracted to the casualness of the situation with the englishman and how easy going and laidback it is....i think maybe im just being a chickenshit, going the casual route...while it has some highpoints...its not terribly fulfilling emotionally whatsoever...then again ~ what is really? Ohhh having babies....yeah im not that desperate for emotional fulfillment thank u very much.
I will just plod along...if i meet someone fabulous on the way im not passing them up...fuck ive done that b4...learned my lesson.
I was being a PI recently and tracked down a number for an old pal of mine Twilla...she is the little sister of Trevor....Trevor who was my 1st psychotic teenage horny lustful love who I beat girls up over and made an overall fool of myself for...oh yes it was ugly...plotted murders...plotted all sorts of sordid things...jesus i was unstable.
Anyhow...as it turned out his little sister Twilla ended up being a better friend and Ive always wondered what she was up to all these yrs...so I rang her and left a msg...she left me one back...she has the same little cute voice...hehehehe I was smiling LARGELY listening to it! I always worried she thought I only liked her cuz I was psycho over her brother but that was never the case...so im hoping she will be around tonight so we can catch up...its been about 12+ yrs. i dont think she knows I spit a kid out way back when unless Trevor told her, cuz i bumped into him in Vancouver once when Ayla was a baby...
Anyhow...im now feeling rather FOUL...so im gunna go be miserable on the couch.
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