While both are intrusive, unnatural and unpleasant ~ the pap wins simply b/c u have to be naked under fluorescent lighting for it....even though a fillings effects are bothersome longer and are more uncomfortable, the fact u get to have a filling whilst clothed makes it a better experience.
I am 100% aware that i can march into that dental office and say NO I DON'T WANT A ROOT CANAL, just do my other fillings and FUCK OFF ABOUT THE ROOT CANAL...i do realize i have that choice...thing is...I'm no dentist...what if they are right and now is the best time to deal with it while it is not *hot* or infected/bothering me? What if i say no and then 3 days later it spontaneously abscesses and then i got in and they look at me like I'm a big dumb fat loser with I TOLD U SO written all over their faces? Its not like they re raping me...its all covered...maybe i should just go into it like its an experiment and wing it...quit over thinking it to death b/c as u can see its only tormenting me and I'm quite sure yer all sick of my whining. ha!
Ayla is still asleep...she bought me SKIN & BONES by the foo fighters yesterday...i guilted her into it bc she never even made me a xmas card for xmas....the turd...of course now i will never hear the end of it...we will be old ladies and ill still hear *remember that time i bought u the foo fighters cd...REMEMBER!!!!* ahahaha even though i bought it 4 myself basically as she used her GC's from the mall it was a very nice gesture and gives me hope in the universe that she wont always be self involved and oblivious to the ppl around her.
She did go spend most of her GC moola on some good clothes yesterday i must say...i was never like that as a kid...my mom wouldn't buy me shit all for clothes so i just didn't have any. PERIOD. My mom was all about buying me what she thought id look *cute* in...you can imagine how that went over. When i was 9 or 10 my mom bought me bell bottom jeans...this was about 1980 and i can assure u THEY WERE NOT COOL...they had a green stripe down the legs and racing flags on the back pockets...she pretty much beat me into them (I'm not shitting u, it was always a power struggle with her) and to spite her and the ugly fucking pants i rolled them up over my knees - oh yes they looked fucking retarded rolled up but to me that was better than wearing gay fucking bell bottoms in Regina, Saskatchewan.
Naturally a few yrs later i just started stealing all my clothing from stores in Ponoka, Alberta...Connie and I had a grand system...not anything that would work now but in small town Alberta it was fab.I also was the queen as stealing records. Ponoka was a little shit hole, the only record store was the back of a drugstore where they had a small display of LPs for sale.
I walked outta there with Motley Crue's SHOUT AT THE DEVIL....Van Halen's 1984...etc Just pop em under my arm like i was shopping and leave. I was only ever caught once for stealing, years later in a Woolco in Red Deer, Alberta...an Alice Cooper cassette and dangly earrings lol That ended my shoplifting career at 15, I got to sit in jail all night after being arrested b/c my mother was nowhere to be found, at 11 pm they finally gave up calling her and let me leave...only i had just moved to Red Deer and didn't know where the fuck i was....it was a guess as to which way i should even walk, so i took a chance and started walking....a few hrs later things started looking familiar....i eventually made it home...she still wasn't home...she was contacted a few days later about it all...shit hit the fan...this was my 3rd criminal charge in 6 months so social workers stepped in and a judge ordered a pre disposition report be done on me to see if i belonged in a foster home...jesus h christ.I still have it here, the report...i lied like a sidewalk in it...pretended i loved school and joined the basketball team (for about 3.5 mins) - sadly i was not good at articulating what made me such a lunatic or else my mother probably would have ended up spanked by the judge for sucking so much...I eventually went to live with my grandparents and aunty pam in Powell River BC. Thank fucking gawd.
Gee that was uplifting...hahaha hahahah hahaha