Hmmmmmmm

so what do ya do? go with the theory that life is short and let EVERYTHING go...? I mean, no wrong was done to me, her life choices are her own, I love her dearly regardless...yet at the same time I am amazed she waited 5 months after the birth of her daughter to tell me about it...even though I knew already on some level.

But then do I blame her? I judged her...friends arent supposed to judge...yet I did. I couldnt help myself. I was so angry when she went back to that fucking abusive asshole after all the things that transpired between them, I cant grasp the the need to be with someone so much that you will sell yourself short in such a way.

And yes....there she sits...my very best and oldest friend from a time gone by that neither of us care to relive...with a baby girl on her lap, both of them looking beautiful.

This is a significant moment in her life, a new beginning, shes changed now, forever, likely for the better I am happy to say...with so much more to share...and im sitting here still mad and hurt and at the same time so incredibly happy for her...wanting every morsel of detail about the whole experience...desperate to speak with her...I think I might be handicapped by my own emotions. Story of my life.

Maybe I will phone her this weekend and just let it all fucking go...cuz really...life is short is it not...? When I had my daughter her and I werent speaking....she has her daughter, her and I arent speaking....wtf kinda retard shit is this?

I shall ponder more.