RUDE!!!!!

I was supposed to go to dinner with Pam and Jim tonight b4 they left to go back to Nanaimo but I am an ass and was sleeping on the couch and did not hear them banging on the door...WAHHHHHHHH...so now they are on the way back to Nanaimo and I miss out seeing them. I am a dick.

I can not tell you how PO'd I am at myself. I must have been in a friggin coma listening to the midget family on TLC boating, talking about water in their ears and shit. Fuck.

Tonight I am going to Big Bad John's with Donna and Shawna for a few drinks. Should be interesting....least the company will be good.

Ayla is out and about...

I found out this week that a couple that I know are no longer a couple and I gotta say I am taking it worse than when my mom and step dad divorced...im serious...it is fucked up. As cynical as I am as a human it never occured to me that I would be effected by such an event but here I am...worried...sad...in shock...wallowing to some degree....HOW FUCKED.

It makes me very aware of the fact I am a giant self-preserving coward when it comes to relationships...I would never put myself out there and allow myself to be devestated by such a thing as a break up...which in turn makes me very aware that I miss out on a lot too but...it is a toss up...and I pick self-preservation. I can not imagine spending 10 yrs building something with someone, investing everything ~ emotions, finances, trust etc ~ only to come home one day and be told they are leaving, no warning, no nothing. Total bomb dropping event. Call me spinster, I dont care...that is not the kind of loss I want to willingly deal with....as I type this I realize how fear based this is of me...but I am really ok with that hahaha I am not even joking...I'd rather be alone than find myself at such a crossroads...and believe me I KNOW HOW LAME I SOUND RIGHT NOW hahaha You dont have to tell me. Maybe I will meet someone and be powerless to ward off such a choice but...good gawd...

Check out these pics of my friend Deanna's garage...a bear just busted through it to get to a bag of garbage....WTF...id shit in my pants if I ever saw/heard this happening...

Bears scare me as it is, seeing one bust the shit out of a wood building to get garbage would drive me over the edge.

Are u all excited about the Johnny Depp/Sweeney Todd movie coming out????

I really need to go cake on some make up and fix my extreme bedhead but...gawd damn it id rather just go sleep on the couch again...

Oh yeah I know how to party bitches!