boobage

Feb 26 2009

 

Dear Creatures of the Night,

 

I am going to ice some titty cakes after work tonight....Ohhh yes...the b'day boy @ work is my buddy Dan (who I wish was my dad) and Lisa has completed phase 1 of OPERATION: TITTY CAKE by making the orbulous cakes and getting them out of the moulds in one piece...tonight is Icing and Nippling! Woot! Woot!

 

Coolest part is he has NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO idea and he will be suitably mortified and honored by this cake :o)

 

I had this crazy idea...I was thinking about inviting my mom for xmas this year...that way we can avoid the heinousness of her "gift boxes" by stipulating that she is only allowed to get us ONE THING EACH and each of us will get her ONE THING EACH...THATS ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! It would only be a few days and she will cook xmas dinner (MuHhahahahahahhahaha)....I think im gunna do it even if I regret it 3 seconds after I ask her.

I sent her a quick email the other day and she replied with a totally normal and human reply...telling me about how she's been out walking etc....This is UNHEARD OF in her 56 yrs...going for walks and she's trying to quit smoking as well...down to 4 smokes a day...also UNHEARD OF.

 

I have talked to 2 very annoying women on the phone today, both times I had to tell them to stop talking and listen for one moment. I fucking hate over-talkers...they make me wanna punch them right in the phone! Oh the joys...

Pretty quiet here today, got lotsa work done...still don't have a wall yet...hopefully next week I will have my wall erected...ha ha ha ERECTED.

 

 I journalled the other night...I always find it funny to read the last entry before writing a new one...its been a while since i felt compelled so it has been a year or so...oh gawd how things can change in 1 year. ha!

 

Little Miss Ayla is busted and broken from her dance regiment....she has dance 3x a week after school and she's feeling pretty crippled...its kinda sad...seeing her hobbling around but its good too b/c...well it is. haha I am really looking fwd to seeing her solo April 21st...actually excited to see her up on stage in action all by her lonesome...she's gotten so much better each year that I think this year it is going to be really impressive.  Her year end dance show in May she will be in at least 2 routines...1 hip hop and 1 jazz...gawd I hope they are close together on the schedule so I dont have to endure hours and hours of other ppls inferior children. ha!

As a kid I was in some stuff...Brownies, figure skating, gymnastics, Path-finder Girls...anything that required $ I would get immediately yanked from when I showed disinterest (can u say CHEAPO CHINCERS!?) so I never really got good at anything...

I was only in Path-finders for the arts and crafts...the god part was right over my head and I was not interested.

I remember in Brownies I wanted to be renamed an owl so baddddddddddddddd....all the leaders how owl names like Tawny Owl etc...fuck I wanted to be Tawny Owl....I have NO idea why...

 

THE 1ST TIME I EVER SAW A LADIES BOOB

 

I was in grace 2 or 3 in Wainwright Alberta...I had got lost b/c back then we were allowed to roam around without any supervision at all and thank gawd or I would have missed out on this boob!

So im lost and im wandering about and this lady comes up to me...I dunno if I was crying or not....she figures out im lost and takes me to her house...shes got a baby with her and she somehow gets ahold of my step dad Don and he was on the way to pick me up...so while we are waiting I think she gave me a snack...and sat down and started nursing her baby...it was fascinating but I wasnt wigged out at all...it was kind of like "ohhhhhhhh thats what they are for"...then Don shows up and the lady is still nursing in the livingroom where I was and calls for him to come in and he walks into the room and sees this SPECTACLE hahahahaha you could see he was instantly uncomfortable (hahaha), keep in mind this is the mid 70's and im pretty sure none of his wives ever used a boob to feed a baby...maybe im projecting, I dunno. Anyway...that was the 1st time I ever saw a ladies boob.

 

The End