waking up irritated

Waking up irritated is not necessarily a tell tale sign of how the days gunna go but it sure as fuck doesn't make you feel inclined to pick flowers and skip through a field of happiness.

Last week I was watching MSNBC and they showed the last video recording of a Charles Manson interview (RIGHT: he is not looking too threatening now)...apparently he is on the ILLEGAL TO VIDEO INTERVIEW list in California now. Interestingly, they had an FBI profiler there to watch it and break down crazy Chucks antics which was interesting...anyway...what a broken nutty little man...I had forgotten how out there he is. You know how they say when ppl with addictions or ppl who suffer abuse as children tend to get stuck (on some level) at the age they were when the addiction took hold/abuse occurred mentally...yeah...that's Chuck. I read every Charles Manson book around as a teenager, was quite drawn to the story and fascinated/horrified that anyone could stab an 8 mo+ pregnant woman to death...(I speak in terms of THEM as a whole, not him, since we all know he didn't physically dirty his hands with killing on that night)...him bringing up Abbie Hoffman in his rants was really funny to me for some reason.
He reminded me of those freaky lizards that flare up there fancy reptile headdress when trying to scare off predators...a total fake, scared little animal. All his contradictions and inconsistencies and scare tactics so mindbogglingly obvious.

I have my column to write today at some point. I am NOT feeling it whatsoever...I am not in love with the direction of the magazine or the low budget look of it...yeah its a free magazine etc but...I am also irritated that they pay contributing article writers (a small amount but still something) but have made no effort over 6 months to even say *thanks* for agreeing to contribute for free while the magazine garners ad revenue to get on its feet. See what happens when you wake up irritated? All these little things you easily let go of the rest of the time fucking irk the shit out of u.

Looks like we are Powell River bound May 9-17...then I can sniff all the baby I want, hang with Madelyn...oh and spend some quality time with my mom of course, go to doctor appts and find out im on deaths door and ready to drop dead from diabetes, high blood pressure, edema, rectal cancer, fibromyalgia, rickets and syphilis.

I was actually looking fwd to it being sunny today...? I did wanna get out there and char my face a little...my gawd I am a pasty fucking mess.
I need a chauffeur this weekend...I have things I have to do gawd dammit and im just fucking not feeling like hoofing it...I have cat food and kitty litter to get...felt markers, kitchen chairs...

CoNgRaTs to HoT DoNNa for scoring a R-14 position at work against some stiff competition! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! She is a mover and a shaker!

My condolances to Connie for the passing of her dad Ron....not much more I can say on this b/c its way too complicated to get into....send her some good vibes though please...she could use them.