Saturday, September 12, 2009

Sept 12 2009



Up at 6 am on a Saturday....awesome. This pattern is becoming most annoying.


I did however have my 1st dream ever where I made out with Matthew Good...I don't generally think of him that way but I listened to this (14 min interview with Jian Ghomeshi) before going to bed and that was the trigger...either way he is a fantastic kisser in my mind and has really soft leg skin. ha ha ha Keep in mind I'd make out with a rake if it was nice to me right now haha

He didn't even mind that I had my infant daughter (who was not Ayla) at a concert we were both attending.

{I have just been struck with the most hideous fear that I am pregnant and it is making me feel quite sick even though I know I am not...I will probably go buy a pee stick today to funeralize that irrational fear of mine.}

Saturday neurosis aside...I am loving the new Matthew Good record...what I love about MG the most is I don't affiliate it with anyone....It is all mine. None of his songs remind of any dirt bag guy or a shitty time in my life...the only real connection to a person I have is that my brother loved the MGBand way back and met them etc. Its beautiful...I hate it when bands or songs remind me of ppl...like the Ms Genova song by Tin Foil Phoenix...

I fucking LOVE that song cuz for shits sake its about Bruce and I and Bruce sent it to me...Duh! The lyrical significance is ridiculous...so whenever I play it (and I do b/c I love it mainly b/c its a variation of my name and I have some weird fascination with my name in songs...don't ask me why...) it's a torturous trip down memory lane.

I am not letting the Zak fiasco as of late ruin my Metallica love, mainly bc I have loved Metallica since high school so that trumps boy stuff but I am working hard to not let the band Down be ruined over it either. Eventually it will be all good b/c that band is too good to let boy germs wreck it. I miss boy germs.

I am having hive issues right now...wtf that's about I dunno...hands & face. BRING ON THE LEPROSY UNIVERSE! I CAN TAKE IT! ITS JUST ONE MORE LOG TO ADD TO THE PILE OF SHIT THAT IS LIFE! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!! How's that for uplifting spirit?!!

I am shockingly managing to maintain my dedicated drive 2 exercise & eating proper. I am not sure any of u understand the true victory this is at the moment b/c I am NOT in the ideal head space that is generally conducive to taking care of myself...in fact it is usually the trigger for full on apathy and emotional detachment...I would love to emotionally detach from myself right now....TRUST ME...but 4 some reason...it is not happening.

OO OOO OOOOO my little sister is coming to visit Nov 16-23!!! JUST ME ME ME!!!! ALL FOR MEEEE!!!!!!! Rob will be here too but he is staying with friends of his I think so it will be mostly me and Kimmy hanging out...torturing Ayla. ha!
I think Aunty Cathy is coming sometime in Nov too....overlap would be fun...not sure if when she will be here though, must inquire. HOW COOL IS THAT!!!! Kim & Cathy in the same month!?!!!

I dunno wtf I am doing this weekend....I have 3 days off...I am still getting half assed sick...Ayla is coughing crappily and convinced she has swine flu....no matter how much I tell her to stop buying into media hype.

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