Cherished Misery, Inc.: hello in there...plz don't be a fetus!

Friday, February 12, 2010

hello in there...plz don't be a fetus!

Something weird happened to me this morning.

I was taking out the garbage...not unusual seeing as I’m the only one that does ANYTHING at my house. {insert passive aggressive comment marker here} ...anyways...I had it out at the front door ready to go when I left so I just picked it up and started walking...and half way outta the bldg (I had my headphones on) it felt like something was vibrating in the bag. I looked down a few times at it wondering if my cat snuck in the garbage but no she would have made the bag really heavy b/c she is a lard ass like her owner...then I wondered if my cell phone fell in....nope it was where it shoulda been...kept walking...half way to the garbage can outside I felt the bag move against my gawd damn leg I SHIT YOU NOT – it startled the shit out of me...so I started to shake the bag to see if there was something friggin in there...no movement...I get to the garbage can and just b4 i put the bag on the ground I feel it move...by this time I am thinking WTF!

I stare at the bag on the ground for a bit and it is not moving...I kick at it...nothing...im contemplating the likelihood of gas build up...or rodent...or discarded vibrator...then I decide whatever is in there is NOT supposed to be so I am not OPENING the bag to see...and I tossed it in the garbage...waited a moment to see if I could hear any fearful shrieks or buzzing but...no. No screams for help from the garbage bag. I am going to ask Ayla if she threw anything suspect away...I won’t ask her if she threw out a vibrator though – not b/c I wouldn’t enjoy the look of horror on her face but just b/c I am fairly certain she wouldn’t toss once if she had one...lol At 16 I certainly wouldn’t have haha

So now I wonder what was in my garbage...I have never seen a rodent in the bldg so I don’t think it was a rodent...giant silverfish maybe...as big as a shoe....in that case im glad it was in the bag and I never saw it...I was more than likely experiencing an acid flashback from 1986...plz just don't be a fetus.....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: Ooooh! I love a good mystery! Although I know my curiousity would've got the better of me and I would've peeked in the bag to see what was in there. You'll have to let us know if Ayla threw some battery-operated motion-sensored toy in there.; Saturday, February 13, 2010 3:49:00 a.m.
Anonymous said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; Saturday, February 13, 2010 3:49:00 a.m.
Conky said...: well thatever was in there SHOULDNT have been, alive or not and i honestly didnt wanna know haha; Saturday, February 13, 2010 7:49:00 a.m.

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My Beloved Henry Rollins

"Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have."