CO-HABITATION ADVICE

such good friends and family....hahaha (I will add more as they come in...)

Aunty Pam:

always remember that he’s not the perfect man for you, there is no such thing as a perfect man

well you know how I feel about jim some days but for days of endurance you end up with the very best friend you could imagine

keep a small piece of yourself just for you though, that’s important!

Jerri and Zed:

Zed says " at least one of you, must have virtually no personal possessions".

Jerri says " good luck with that"

Maggie & her husband David:

Maggie- Buy a brightly colored eye catching laundry basket.

Be prepared to consistently find empty toilet paper rolls on the dispenser and a partly used roll on the counter.

Make him carry your laundry up and down the stairs, but do not let him do the laundry. You will regret it.

Accept that while you’re enjoying a nice relaxing shower, he will decide he desperately needs to take a shit. And while doing so, he will start a new roll of toilet paper and leave it on the counter.

Provide detailed lists for anything and everything. Otherwise he’ll use it as an excuse.

Pick your battles. Compromise.

If you don’t want to keep putting his shit away but it’s driving you crazy that he always leaves stuff everywhere and no amount of nagging will convince him to put things where they belong, buy baskets. You can put his stuff in there (and yours and Ayla’s etc) and he’ll be able to find it. (As you can see, we are a basket using household – I’d start throwing his shit outside otherwise).

Spend time together. Doing something, not just co-existing.

Remain individuals – have your own hobbies and activities.

David's Advice for Graeme-

It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

When you use up all the TP make sure to leave a roll on the counter. When she rants, tell her it’s better than having none.

Denis:

patience - guys seem to tune you out when they're doing something else. It's not rudeness, it's how we're wired. We don't multitask.

Smart Ass Shawn:

take BC up on it's bud, it'll help you chill the f' out! :P

Aunty Leslie:

Don't let the small stuff get to you. Ignore the toilet seat, and toothpaste mess in the sink, only take issues with the important things. Once you let the small stuff niggle at you, it builds and builds until "everything" annoys you.

Guy & his wife Donna:

Guy - Never give an inch.

Donna - Never give an inch.

Rich in the UK:

1. Remember to 'trim' - always

2. At least one blow job a week makes a man feel loved

3. Compromise. Seriously, never stop talking through your issues. Once the talking stops, it's over.

4. NEVER go to bed on an arguement - see 3.

5. Read to each other. Cheesy, but sweet.

Connie:

Hmmm....well, from my VAST experience...:

-ALWAYS WAIT to talk about things that are pissing you off until you are calm and he is in a receptive mood.

-it may seem like kissing ass, but when you want them to change their behaviour, (if your goal is to get them to change their behaviour and not apologize and grovel for their unthinking ways), be very careful how you word things, i.e. "thanks so much for doing the dishes, it really helped me out...and since I've been so busy lately, could you please try to remember to pick up your laundry too?" I know it goes against your basic instincts, Jen, but seriously, you are looking for results, not a change in personality.

-sex works as a bribe or a reward

-spend time apart

-focus on the good things he does, and let him know, even if he neglects to return the favor

-don't expect too much

Adele:

Never lose who you really are. Just be your quirky emotional lovable self and when it feels like things are getting uncomfortable, think of it all as an experience that you can grow and learn from.

Barb of Awesometown:

You are asking the wrong person, Jen. The only reason I am not in prison is because I can't find the bullets.

But, as a wannabe minimalist living with a hoarder, I will say this: try to make a little space that belongs only to you. It doesn't have to be very big, just big enough to escape to when you need it.