I have somewhat recovered from the Rick Springfield/Cherie Currie book trauma...another notch to add to the bedpost of disappointment...that is life isn't it...? Nothing is ever as it should be in your head...sometimes i question my own personal perception of myself. I have always felt like I am pretty real and own my shit and self aware...I know when I am a dickhead...I know when I am a bad person...I know when I have hurt someones feelings...or am being unfair...but lately I have begun to question myself for the 1st time in that regard (not a bad thing) and wonder if I am deluded or if I am just dealing with ppl so stunted at the moment that theres no hope for real communication....
Not gunna lie...this valentines day was not good for me...there is something extra shitty about it being v-day and feeling emptier than you ever have on that day before...hopelessness and futility glazed with confusion and general discontent.
It is all going to remedy itself over the next few months and for that I am grateful...
My trip to PR on Feb 25 is looking better and better all the time...escape escape escape...bringing Ayla along is causing me a little bit of regret but that's only b/c Her Douchness is prevalent and I just do not seem to possess any patience at all...there will coem a day not to long from now where I can save up for my own stuff and my own trips...after my trip to PR I have realized I cannot plan anymore trips, activities, or fun really for the next year...I have to save up for Ayla's grad (assuming i do not strangle her b4 then which would save me a buttload of $ some to think of it) and grad trip assistance...this entails me getting a 2nd job which I am not too thrilled about but at the same time why not?! I am doing very little of value with my time off anyway so really I may as well look for something on weekends...maybe Arf can hook me up with something PT at MM if needed...appealing to walk into a job you essentially already know...anyway that will all come in March/April.
I have my T4 and am hoping to get a bit o $ for my tax return to pop into a savings account and forget about as well...UNLIKE LAST YEARS 600.00 bill...fuckin fuck im still bitter over that.
I am pretty melancholy today...ive buggered my heel thingy up...SELF DIAGNOSIS
Gunna try some anti-inflammatories and see how that goes...its been bugging me for a few weeks but today its actually impeded me from walking like a human and theres nothing worse than being the fat limper.
Speaking of assholes (haha)...last night on our walk Donna and I encountered some assholes...imagine this setting.....dark parking lot of a community park, surrounded by trees and a love seat dumped in the parking lot with 3 idiots sitting there...the one way we walked by they were all just singing rather obnoxiously....on the way back however....they got chatty....one was kind enough to point out how my black jacket made me look slimmer....it was a civil insult as far as insults go...lucky 4 me I have a pretty thick skin and was rather unphased as it was a full on malicious exchange...Donna on the other hand clearly hasn't had to deal with being a fatty and was mortified by the behaviour...after getting moo'd at while walking down the street in the past I can assure you this was nothing - I dont just wear headphones walking just b/c I love music....it is a total tune out...headphones mean I can pleasantly ignore ppls ignorant commentary as they drive by. Donna's adorable ignorance about it though was sweet and it is why I love her so much....she is just so non-caustic as a person...I like it a lot. To the 3 hobo-like drunken love seat in the parking lot sitting fucktards with no future - enjoy liver failure assholes...
1 comment:
that's ecactly what I was thinking, ant. really really small ones...as a matter of fact the exact same size as their brains.
Post a Comment